Posts by Pascal Monett

Planes, fails and automobiles: Overseas callout saved by gentle thrust of server CD tray

Re: This too was in the middle of nowhere in North Wales

I thought North Wales was the definition of nowhere.

Well that's hardly a surprise. If you can't take rounded scissors you certainly can't take a hunk of metal good enough to cave in a skull with.

Kenshi: Sandblasted sword-punk D&D where the dungeon master wants everyone dead

Welcome to the new column

I applaud and appreciate this new adventure on El Reg. Don't forget to bite, though.

I found your take on Kenshi interesting, and it sparked my interest. I went and checked my Steam account and found that I had classed it under Ignored at the time. Reading the game's summary in Steam, I see why : I'm already playing 7 Days to Die and nothing in the game's description told me that it was that much different from what I'm doing already.

But now I look at the game in a new light and I'm wondering. The fact that the game is not an MMO (you could have specified that, but it's okay) is a big plus in my book - I am sick of sharing my game time with griefers and other nuisances. I will pay more attention to this title now.

Sex and drugs and auto-tune: What motivates a millennial perp?

Well there might be a bright side

If indeed the future is filled with wankers, then that means less 1st-worlders using much too many resources and polluting the world.

It also means that I look forward to seeing how that works when I'm 80 and so full of arthritis I can hardly move. Unless I'm still spry and agile, in which case it's the nurse who's going to wish I was full of arthritis.

Let's pity the nurse and hope I'll be full of arthritis.

We ain't afraid of no 'ghost user': Infosec world tells GCHQ to GTFO over privacy-busting proposals

Jake, you forgot to check your sarcasm meter.

I disagree on one point : any acceptable solution must include a warrant approved by a judge whose decision will be recorded and subject to FOI requests.

It is useless to try and limit the amount of interceptions allowed - how can you ensure they will respect that ? They're already respecting nothing. Put a judge in charge and jail him if he gets too cosy with the spooks. With a public record of intercept warrants, we regain some control of the situation.

As far as manipulating the masses is concerned, I think they already have that part down pat. The people who control the media know exactly what to say and what not to say and when to maximize the effect.

That is why, whenever something really important happens that they have to talk about but would prefer avoiding, you get some really important sports event to talk about endlessly.

That is why they spouted sooo much nonsense about WMDs months before invading Iraq.

It's an endless game of manipulation, and the Internet is the only true counter-balance that we have. Which is ironic when you see just how much the Internet is used to manipulate as well.

In other words : we're fucked any way we turn.

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Cambridge Analytica had a hand in deciding Brexit.

Yes. The proper authorities.

Some food administration has absolutely nothing to do with anti-terrorism.

In the living room, can Google Home hear you SCREAM? Well, that's what you'll need to do

Re: One wonders why such devices have become an accepted norm

I blame Hollywood, who has for the past decades made it look easy in every sci-fi flick they have made. From the impossible gestures in Minority Report to the abusively simple way voice commands are given in practically any film that uses them (thinking of the original Blade Runner right now - great scene, but still technically wrong), people have latched on to the idea that not using a keyboard/mouse interface is a good idea.

Well, we'll see how that pans out in the long run, but you'll take my mouse out of my cold, dead hands before I give it up.

Yeah. Use your remote and quit your whinging. You've already got a useless toy, on top of that it's not working any more. Learn your lesson and buy a radio.

A proper radio tuned to BBC Radio 4 would work a lot better, you never have to yell at it, and you can turn it on and off with a button. Oh, and it will never change functionality behind your back.

But why use something simple when you can go cutting-edge and make your life even madder than it already is ?

Infosec bloke claims: Pornhub owner shafted me after I exposed gaping holes in its cartoon smut platform

Agreed, but still : the checkout till does not mean you disrobe and get rogered in front of strangers and cameras.

You may be getting rogered, but it's not physical.

And I can smile and be polite and least try and take the edge off of her plight.

Finally, come on. You know that, when sex is involved, everything is different.

Re: Who watches cartoon porn anyway?

Not that I will proclaim being a fan, but I do believe that cartoon porn has one obvious advantage : no real women are abused to make it.

I've heard that there are pornstars that actually like their jobs. That's fine, to be sure, and better them than someone who hates herself for doing it, but my problem is that I have no clear indication of which ones hate themselves and which ones don't.

Sure, some of them smile more convincingly, but so does Melania.

IEEE tells contributors with links to Chinese corp: Don't let the door hit you on Huawei out

@ martinusher

"Another thing that Trump and his entourage doesn't get is that in the US the government has to obey the law, it is not the law"

I am absolutely thrilled to learn that. Now could you please explain why the law doesn't seem to be lifting the slightest little finger to bitch slap the orange monkey and force him to learn that ?

Because, up to now, it would seem that the waste of air that is occupying the Oval Office is the law, since the law is not slapping every one of his unlawful acts down. Some of them, when a judge can be bothered, but not all of them.

Re: In which country are you going to form your organization

A country whose local laws make lawyers of a multinational corporation smile.

Know the enemy and know yourself: Walmart's new chief techie spent 15 years in the Amazon

Fret not. Walmart is bringing in the heavy guns - this Kumar is solid gold (from a golden parachute point of view). He obviously has the high-level view that Fortune 100 CEOs adore so much.

Which obviously means that he has never been a boots-on-the-ground, hands-in-the-mud grunt, oh no, my dear chap. What we have here is the golden-braided horse captain coming in adorned with the glory of many previous campaigns who will, by his mere presence, solve all the issues.

At least, that's what he'll put on his CV when he leaves Walmart for some other high-profile, highly-paid situation. I'm sure he's also 100% buzzword-compliant.

It's the curious case of the vanishing iPhone sales as Huawei grabs second place off Apple in smartmobe stakes

What ?

"Google has said it will comply with the order by pulling access to Play Store and other services from future Huawei mobile hardware"

Um, aren't you forgetting something ? Like, the fact that it may be Huawei hardware, but the people who bought it are not necessarily in China, or even Chinese for that matter ?

Somehow I feel a lawsuit coming up for Google, based on the fact that US citizens had and have, right up to that August deadline, every right to buy Huawei, and Google has no right to refuse service to US citizens, if I am not mistaken, and I'm pretty sure that Google is going to catch some major flak if it tries that outside of the US.

I'm sure it's all nice and fuzzy to have a whipping boy, but you can't extend that whip to everyone who happens to be in the same room.

If servers go down but no one hears them, did they really fail? Think about it over lunch

Re: you can set your own locale regardless of the software language

Yeah, about that : I used to set my location to France, and keep the US English language for the interface, because I prefer doing my computing in the language it was invented in.

The interesting side-effect of that is that all browsers today pay attention to my location and don't give a fig about my language choice : in other words when I go to IBM, Amazon or even on Google, and search for something - the results I get are in French, and that pisses me off.

Um, guys, my language is English. Get with the program.

Never let something so flimsy as a locked door to the computer room stand in the way of an auditor on the warpath

Yeah, but you weren't wearing hoodies now were you ?

Re: whether if they'd had their sidearms they could have shot the lock off instead

That has been Mythbusted. Shooting a lock actually strengthens it because you are adding lead impediment to its proper functioning.

A rocket launcher, on the other hand . . .

Microsoft? Oh it's just another partnership, insists GitHub CEO

"We treat Microsoft as a partnership"

And that will last right up to the second Microsoft decides to not tolerate that any more.

You have been bought. Microsoft owns you now. Do not make the mistake of believing that you are in control.

A decade ago, there was a bank director in Luxembourg that treated the majority shareholder like any other partner. Curiously, that person is no longer the director of that bank. Gee, I wonder why ?

Let's make laptops from radium. How's that for planned obsolescence?

Fox News ?

Nonsense is their specialty.

Re: We should have just let dodgy banks go bust and pony up compensation [..]

And we should have put the entire board of those banks into prison.

For the rest of their fucking lives.

As an example to the rest.

Just a few weeks ago my wife had the idea to stop using plastic water bottles to take on the road. I fully agreed with her and we decided to buy a set of aluminum thermoses that we use now. Not only do they look a hell of a lot better than plastic bottles, I now have fresh water available for most of the day.

And I am no longer polluting the environment with used plastic water bottles.

I only regret one thing : that it took me fifty-two years to realize that.

Gee, SEC, how did that get out?! 'Leaked' Tesla email claims big boost in Model 3 production

"he agreed to clear future Tesla-related tweets with the regulator before posting"

That would never have happened if he used a PR department, like large companies usually did last millennium.

A PR department has the advantage of having a clear view of communications and of the communication strategy, which it applies to everything that goes out. Of course, that also means that the billionaire has to accept that he does not communicate anything that does not go through the PR department.

Which is what is happening now anyway, except that he has transformed the regulator into his PR department - and he can't fire the regulator.

Looks like he should have had a PR department.

No Huawei out: Prez Trump's game of chicken with China has serious consequences

"deal with longstanding issues like government favoritism toward local companies"

How is it that that can be a point of contention ? Name me one country in this world that doesn't favor local companies.

These people company representatives who are complaining about local favoritism would be howling like wolves if Huawei was given favor in the US over any one of them.

I'm not saying that there are no reasons to be unhappy about business with China, but that is not one of them.

Irish data cops are shoving a probe right into Google's ads

Would you mind explaining how Google has access to my credit card data ? The shops where I physically go to buy stuff do not have a Google browser on the cash register window, and I do not see Google scripts being used in financial servers.

So I'd really like to know how you think Google can find out what I purchase in brick-and-mortar stores with my credit card.

Nurse ! He's off his meds again !

Re: hence taxes on the populace can be a smidgen lower

Your optimism is touching.

Phisher folk reel in Computacenter security vetting mailbox packed with sensitive staff data

Oh really ?

"However, these logs cannot tell us precisely what was in the mailbox at the time of the attack or whether the data was exported or just deleted,"

I understand that the logs can't, but the backup of the mailbox from the day before the hack surely should.

You have the backup, right ? Surely you specified in the contract that the mailbox needed regular backups, right ? A solid, international corporate structure advocating data security would not think of signing a vetting contract without proper backup procedures, wouldn't it ?

Why do I have the impression that I'm pissing in the wind, here ?

Twist my Arm why don't you: Brit CPU behemoth latest biz to cease work with Huawei – report

Hmm, let me check - yup, popcorn reserves are reaching the critical low point.

Need a resupply, urgently.

UK Space Agency cracks open its wallet, fishes out a paltry £2m for Brit plans to return to orbit

"help develop ambitious proposals"

That has to be the greatest call for the snouts to get into the trough I have ever read.

Had they said "Here, piggy piggy !" it would not have worked any better.

Microsoft Windows 10 'Burger King' build 1903: Have it your way... and it may still leave a nasty taste in your mouth

What was that ?

"Cable said Microsoft's "measured and throttled approach" reflects the company's commitment to provide customers with more control of and more transparency into avoid another tsunami of angst with an update process that now incorporates a longer period of testing."

That's more like it.

Yes, but why should he have to ? Why does an update go and change a default ?

Oh, silly me, it's Windows, so duh.

Bug-hunter reveals another 'make me admin' Windows 10 zero-day – and vows: 'There's more where that came from'

Re: Wouldn't it be fun

No, it wouln't. I doubt that Micrsoft's customers are all blind or braindead - they are, however, hopelessly addicted.

Some are trying to fight that, which is why many, many servers in the corporate world are being switched to some flavor of Linux. The advent of Google Docs, among other things, means that small businesses no longer have to have Windows on their machines, so progress is being made.

In any case, punishing users for the master's failures is unfair by any count.

Re: It's like saying that if you don't like eating cabbage...

Wrong simile. If you don't like eating cabbage, you can not eat it.

Once you're born here, it doesn't matter if you like it or not : there's only one way out.

That is, until we have at least one colony somewhere else, but I suspect that that bitch would still gripe whatever the planet/moon/space station.

Backup your files with CrashPlan! Except this file type. No, not that one either. Try again...

CrashPlan

So it's the Plan to Crash my data ? No thanks. I have a backup system, thank you, and I do need to backup parts of the stupid Program Files directory which everyone and their dog seem to use as storage locker for data their code dumps there.

Who are you to decide not to accept data from a given folder anyway ? Either you backup the data I want backed up, or you can take a hike.

Do Not Track is back in the US Senate. And this time it means business. As in, fining businesses that stalk you online

Re: We Are Legion

I like the idea, but I'm afraid the Legion is in front of the telly with a pint and can't quite be bothered to get all pitchforky right now.

Re: banking on [..] they will be out before Europe can catch them

That will not help those that continue to deal with Europe.

Lyft, Uber drivers boost app surge prices by turning off, tuning out – and cashing in

Eventually, after a lawsuit or two.

Where there's a will, there's Huawei: US govt already eases trade ban with 90-day reprieve

Around the world ? Really ?

"The US government on Monday gave Huawei temporary permission to obtain technology from American organizations so that the Chinese giant can continue to maintain and repair existing deployments of its products around the world" in America.

Please do not give further attention to the American tendancy of believing that it decides what happens for the entire world with its government policies.

Sophos tells users to roll back Microsoft's Patch Tuesday run if they want PC to boot

So, what Sophos is really saying . .

. . is that Microsoft put together a critical patch and Sophos couldn't be arsed to test if that was going to bork its product.

So now, you remove the critical patch that protects you in order to give Sophos time to pull its finger out and patch its own shit.

Of course, when you have shit running on shit, you get shit service as well.

It's 50 years to the day since Apollo 10 blasted off: America's lunar landing 'dress rehearsal'

Challenger was not a failure of Congress

Those were the days

Heady times indeed. But the risks were enormous. Had it not been for a truly impressive collection of very intelligent and dedicated people, many more people would have died than the unfortunate count we already have.

Do we have the technology to go back ? I'm confident we're getting there. Do we have the intelligence and dedication to do so safely ? One can only hope.

In any case, I think it is a good thing that private companies are flexing their muscles in that arena. NASA has demonstrated that the beancounters at the top are not to be trusted with life-or-death decisions, so a private company that puts its reputation on the line is a much better guarantee of safety.

Giga-hurts radio: Terrorists build Wi-Fi bombs to dodge cops' cellphone jammers

Re:have a machine with a 4G module just poll a random Reddit page

I don't think it's a good idea to add that level of complexity to a thing as dangerous as a bomb.

First, you're adding more bulk to something that is already conspicuous.

Second, terrorists (outside of Hollywood) are not exactly technical wizards - they go to terrorist school to learn how to make a bomb, they do not go for an engineering degree and then take that knowledge and build a bomb from scratch.

To think that the average terrorist not only knows how to make a bomb without killing himself and, on top of that, also has the hardware and software skills to program something that goes and "polls a random Reddit page" is frankly pushing the bar.

Finally, and most importantly, that 4G polling is a signal saying "I'm here !" to anyone who knows how to look for it. I'm sure that broadcasting the bomb's position is not a very intelligent way to go about bombing a place.

Re: Even manual counting of results should only result in a delay of a couple of days

Sorry, but in France the presidential election metropolitan results are available the same day. It is understood that External Territory results (ie the islands and other ex-colonies still under French rule) will take a few more hours, but in mainland French territory the ballots are hand-counted, verified and the tallies are centralised in Paris before 8 P.M.

So no, manually counting ballots does not impose a delay of several days. Stuffing the election, "arranging" the results and plain disorganization, however, can very well have such an impact.

Cray's found a super scooper, $1.3bn's gonna buy you. HPE's the one

Re: CRAY emblematic enterprise

Yes, congratulations. Now Cray is going to emblematically be ground into fine powder and scattered in the wind of HPE's incompetence. Yay.

China trade tariffs? Fuhgeddaboudit, say Cisco execs. We, er, shifted some production

Re: Hang on just one moment

"Cisco make their kit in China"

Don't you just love the irony of the situation ? We're supposed to believe that Huawei kit made in China is an existential threat to US communications, but Cisco kit made in the same country is clean as a whistle.

Yeah, sure. Pull the other one.

It's 2019 so now security vulnerabilities are branded using emojis: Meet Thrangrycat, a Cisco router secure boot flaw

There is Huawei hardware made in the US ? Now that's news.