Posts by LINCARD1000

Kiwi prankster 'oinks' down cops' radio and sings Old MacDonald

Re: Goodbye pork pie

Actually the remake isn't horrible, for once. A few differences from the original but the same spirit is there.

BOFH: The Boss, the floppy and the work 'experience'

Re: Enemy Territory

It has to be said that playing against Simon in ET, he is bloody lethal with that freakin' annoying noob-nade chucking gun.

And the laying of mines.

Grrr...

Ve need covert ops!

Siri, clone yourself and dive into this Samsung Galaxy S8 smartphone

Re: Bixby aka Mr Bix?

Holy crap, used to read that comic religiously (it was right up my twisted alley). Haven't thought about it in years though. Thanks for the reminder! :-)

Five-a-day energy drink habit turned chap's eyes yellow, urine dark, caused anorexia

Re: Outlaw non-food

Guessing it's similar in other countries, but fruit "juices" that contain less than a certain % of real fruit have to be labeled differently. So when shopping it pays to check whether you're buying a fruit juice or a fruit drink.

Some fruit drinks have probably never been near a real piece of fruit during their entire time in manufacturing.

Three-commas Thiel expresses love for himself, Trump and downtrodden millionaires

Re: I can't believe he's gay

"We" don't want him. He's not gay, he's a goddamned freak and a very poor excuse for a human being.

Birmingham sperm bank pulls plug after just a handful of recruits

Not sure about the UK...

...but here in NZ, although the eventual resulting ankle-biters have the legal right to find out who said depositor is should they be interested, however the depositor doesn't have any financial or familial responsibility.

So yeah, the brats can find out who "daddy" really is, but "daddy" is under no legal obligation to have anything to do with them, and that includes meeting them in person.

Terminator icon because something to do with kids and dead parents or something. I don't know, gimme a freakin' break.

BOFH: There are no wrong answers, just wrong questions. Mmm, really wrong ones

Re: Pseudo scientific load of cobblers @GrumpyKiwi

Working in NZ local govt myself, I hear you. HR? Stands for Hopelessly Retarded, doesn't it?

A-dough-be: Photoshop flinger pumps profits 50 per cent

Having had to deal with this Adobe cloud nonsense at work...

...I'm fairly confident in saying the only people happy about this are Adobe. It's exceedingly painful to handle installations and upgrades inside a corporate network with this stuff, not to mention all the utterly ridiculous hoops you have to jump through to licence individual users.

Bring back old-fashioned install media and software keys.

And then get the HELL off my lawn, you damned kids with your head in the goddamned clouds.

< /grump>

SpaceX blast kills Zuck's sat

Re: Facebook satellite lost before launch

See icon, that is all :-D

Astronauts sequence DNA in space for the first time

A primitive precursor...

...to a Start Wreck style medical tricorder?

It's life, Jim, but not as we know it.

North Korea unveils its home-grown Netflix rival – Manbang

Re: Would anyone like to...

That's actually rather funny :-D

Google's brand new OS could replace Android

And I wonder how much telemetry it would be passing back to the Gobble mothership after installation - is this Google's Windows 10?

They monetize everything, Shirley they're not doing this out as a freebie to world+dog out of the goodness of their shriveled, black, advertising-bedecked hearts?

Russia is planning to use airships as part of a $240bn transport project

Would be kinda neat to airships plying the skies again, even if they are used only for cargo. That said, I reckon there would be a fairly healthy market for passenger airships. Perhaps not huge, admittedly, but enough to be financially viable I would have thought.

Given the novelty of the method of travel, the relatively slow speed would be a feature on such a trip rather than a hindrance. After all, nobody takes a trip on an ocean cruise-liner for the speed of getting from A to B :-) For business and the like where speed is necessary you take a plane. For pleasure, why not be lofted through the air in comfort and style? I'd sure as hell pay good money for that.

Computers vs Ebola: Scientists use big data to predict future disease hotspots

Re: Batty, just completely crazy

Nananananananana BAT-FLAN...

/me dies laughing

Don't mind me...

Curious

Will have to do a bit of research to find out just what the process of transmission from bat to human is.

The mind boggles otherwise. Bat blood transfusions? Having hot unprotected bat butt sex? Catching it off a toilet seat that a bat has used? Bat sneezes?

Righty ho, Friday afternoon and I am outta here. Have a great weekend all :-)

Star Trek Beyond: An unwatchable steaming pile of tribble dung

Re: Blame It On A Transporter Malfunction

Or why Ferengi (etc) couldn't just use replicators to replicate gold-pressed latinum (that would quickly make it worthless, but let's not tribble, I mean quibble...). Or replicate replacement bits for various parts that get blown up on spaceships (modular? We've heard of it).

Etc

Etc

Etc...

...sometimes you just need to turn off your internal critic and enjoy it for the entertainment it's supposed to be. Not always so easy when you've got more than a couple of brain-cells to rub together and plot-holes are big enough to swallow a galaxy class starship, but I digress... :-)

You can’t sit there, my IoT desk tells me

Re: Let's talk balls

Been using one for about 9 months or so now, and have to say it's quite good. You very quickly get used to the fact that it's not as mobile as a regular chair and although you can be all slouchy on it, it's actually not that comfortable to do so. It also encourages you to get up and off it every now and then which is good for you anyway :-)

Only downside is the office clowns who make the same tired fucking joke every time they see you, about wanting to kick the bloody thing out from under you.

Happy bouncy fun time balls go! (we like balls)...

Huge double boxset of Android patches lands after Qualcomm disk encryption blown open

[expletive deleted]ing Samsung [expletive deleted]unts.

We'll smash probe into comet 300 million miles away for kicks, er, sorry, ... for science

Re: We really need better power sources

Some of the more intelligent kids brought up in a very anti-nuclear weapon/power environment work out okay in the end.

Not that I'm hugely intelligent, however I've come to realise that nuclear power was unfairly demonised by many in the early days, most likely as an off-shoot of the dislike of nuclear weaponry (which was and is justified, IMHFO).

We need nuclear power (alongside advancements in sensible forms of renewables) in order to move forward as a species. weapons not so much. Bring on cheap and safe thorium reactors! :-)

What the 'phobes don't seem to get is that while a rocket carrying a RTG type payload going "poof" wouldn't be a particularly wonderful thing, it wouldn't be the end of civilisation as we know it that many make it out to be. The benefits to science and our understanding of the universe around us vastly outweigh the slight risk of such an accident.

Watch as SpaceX's latest Falcon rocket burns then crashes

Re: Root cause

Well there's your problem right there - the LASER equipped shark they used for altimeter purposes that was strapped to the side obviously caused the rocket to use up more oxidizer as it came in for a landing than they expected.

SpaceX may wish to investigate the feasibility of using smaller sharks, and perhaps strap two of them to the first stage so they have a back-up.

Lester Haines: RIP

I had hoped this was some sort of sad joke...

...but it doesn't look like it is. Not much to add that hasn't been said already and more eloquently by others. Never met him in person but always really enjoyed his work here over the many, many years.

Wow, this has got me tearing up.

Telegram crammed: Hackers find way to send massive messages

Re: Telegram?!

Wrong... they are best for apple pie. Presuming of course, that you are speaking of the granny smith apple and not granny smith who lives down the road.

Oh, I don't know...

BRB, checking on my fava beans and a nice Chianti.

UCLA shooter: I killed my prof over code theft

I hope someone remembered to feed his kitten.

Toyota not shybot about whybot it will trybot the iBot

Idly speculating whether or not Toyota will try and cheat on the emissions test for this thing... :-)

In all seriousness this has the possibility of positively impacting on many people's daily lives. So here's to Toyota making this sort of tech far more accessible to more people.

Russia faces Ukraine and Georgia in Eurovision deathmatch

Here in NZ we got the UK feed with Graham Norton's voice-over. Geeze he's a snarky wee fellow at times, isn't he? Crikey.

Great entertainment* as always :-) Although I thought Poland's jacket should have won. Not their entry, but the singers jacket. That was epic. Ukraine's entry was a bit... meh. Bring back Svetlana Loboda from a few years back, her entry was amazing.

* entertainment does not necessarily mean some of the entries were any good. Bad can be entertaining, after all.

BOFH: If you liked it then you should've put the internet in it

Re: Crappy power supplies! GAAH

Ooooh... that sounds familiar. Sleeve bearings (or similar).

I worked a few years back for a certain video conference equipment manufacturer (since borged) in their reverse logistics group and noticed a pattern of fans failing on a certain popular and high-end model of codec and did some investigation.

Sleeve bearings.

And they all began failing at once all around EMEA and APAC on codecs of a certain age. I alerted our service centres at the time to stock up on replacement fans (with ball bearings) and informed our R&D and production groups about the epidemic. I don't think they cared because the up-front cost was less for production - they didn't care about the back-end cost for repair/replacement as that didn't affect their budgets, despite it being a higher cost to the company in the longer run.

Deep sigh.

Icon for the system temperatures of some of the units. Our service centres sent me occasional photos of various faults for shits and giggles... many of these in a lovely shade of toasty brown.

AI, VR, bots and YOU? A survivor's guide to The Future™

Re: Softly, Softly, Catchee HyperRadioProActive IT Power with AI Command and Control ‽ :-)*

I actually upvoted you, because I think you are El Reg's pet AI project based on what you write and when the AI apocalypse comes I want you to remember that I was nice to you and not kill me please, Mr. AIRobotMasterSirYourMajesty.

Space archeologist discovers new evidence of Vikings invading America

Re: a tractor company producing real sports cars

A friend of mine refers to eggs as "bum nuts"... and now it vaguely creeps me out every time I eat one :-)

Dick Smith database, web store sold to Kogan

Opted out as soon as I got the email this morning, but it's actually kinda nice (if a little surprising) to see that the receivers are acting in such a responsible manner with regards to privacy of customer records and the like. Good on 'em - you don't see many such actions these days.

Greybeard monobrow baldies rejoice! Boffins comb out hairy genes

Re: Meh

There's a certain irony about your Register username and your statement about being all shaved... :-)

(troll icon in lieu of a 'laugh out loud' or amused equivalent icon)

Eurovision Song Contest uncorks 1975 vote shocker: No 'Nul point'!

@x7 - I LIKE PAIN :-)

From a dirty foreigner's POV....

I love it.

Politics aside, it's just plain entertaining. Even the utterly horrible entries are entertaining if for nothing else but the train-wreck effect. And every now and then there are some truly great songs, although I wish more countries would sing in their native tongues even if the words are unintelligible; as someone else pointed out, you don't have to understand what they're saying if the way they're presenting it is beautiful.

Even though they never get anywhere, it's also rather neat to see some of the comedy entries from countries who know damned well they're not going to win, but go out there and have a good time anyway.

It's very easy for some to take it too seriously, get upset with the politics and the fact that it's several hours of Euro-fluff, but from my POV, it's just great entertainment.

As an aside, I happened to be living in Norge when they won in 2009 (I think it was). The partying in the streets afterward was something to behold. Was at a EV party hosted by a work friend and everyone there went absolutely mental. Great times. So down vote away as I know I'm in the minority here based on most of the comments so far, but just understand that from the outside some people just accept and enjoy it for the outrageous, silly but fun spectacle that it is.

Samsung: Is gadget lust still a thing in 2016? Nope

What djstardust and asdf said - upvote for you, upvote for him, upvote for EVERYBODY!

Burned when I bought an S4 and then found it was effectively no longer being updated less than 2 years after buying it. A premium handset should have a longer effective lifespan than 18 months - 2 years, Samsung.

That and it's loaded down with all sorts of unnecessarily fruity crapware you cannot get rid of without rooting the damned thing. And you shouldn't HAVE to do that.

DARPA commits to brain-computer interface development project

Call me paranoid (but not Shirley) however if they ever perfected this sort of tech what would stop them from implanting it into someone unwilling? Say POWs or prisoners or even people just suspected of being whatever the flavour du jour of pedoterrorist* is?

Would make interrogations a lot easier, possibly? Or control over the person?

* definition as suggested by whatever dodgy govt happens to be in power

While I have faith that there could be a lot of really beneficial, positive spin-offs from this sort of technology (eg for the disabled), I have little faith that it won't also be used for nefarious purposes by various agencies, which is far more likely.

Kill Flash Now: 78 bugs patched in latest update

Re: I want to cry...

In this instance it's two external vendor sites, so nothing we've got any active control over.

I've tried just about every kind of voodoo short of gutting a live chicken on the boss' desk to find a work-around as well.

I want to cry...

While it's not on my personal machines at home, we are forced to have it on the comps we have at work for some business critical applications (payroll and vehicle booking). The people who make decisions here didn't even consult and the PHB didn't think to object either when these solutions were implemented.

ISS 'nauts prepare for Cygnus space truck consensual grappling

Re: All it needs is The Blue Danube as a sound track.

I say, old chap!

Don't scare the horses! :-)

Aussies' distinctive Strine down to drunk forefathers

Re: Kiwiland

Do you take muwk un your coffee wuth those fush'n'chups, au bro? :-)

Huawei Q3 shipments soar, expects to shift 100 million mobes abroad this year

According to the people who work for the company, "Wah-way" - the H being one of those strong, silent types.

German football hero battles Nazi doppelgänger

The Matrix must be running low on memory - it's recycling faces a little too often now ;-)

(Termy icon because it's the closest I can think of)

Shocker: Net anarchist builds sneaky 220v USB stick that fries laptops

A tool for the paranoid...

I think this is rather neat, actually, if for nothing else but to cause a bit of mischief to prying eyes of various border security or aforementioned TLA agencies. Get stopped at the airport and ordered to hand over all electronic devices so they can be "examined" for dodgy things? Sure, here you go... Fzzzzt goes some expensive hardware.

Might possibly earn you a jolly good rubber-gloving by angry officials, however.

Find shaving a chore? Why not BLAST your BEARD off with a RAYGUN

Lasers? PFFFT!

How terribly yesterday. I'm going full-fat nuclear. Kick-start my new Razonium(tm) plutonium powered razor! It'll nuke those hairs back into the stone age and give your skin a nice, healthy* glow. Forever**!

The first 50 kick-starters who give me $50,000 each will automatically be eligible for the model that shoots frikkin' sharks from the handle!

* For very small values of healthy

** Forever being whatever plutonium's half-life is

Pope Francis' first act in America: Halt iPhone 6S, 6S Plus deliveries

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!

...actually, I cannot believe nobody has brought up something along the lines of "Jesus mobe" in this context!

*Edit* goddamnit, pipped at the post by Chairo... well played that, Sir and/or madam :-)

OFFICIAL: Facebook growth BIGGER THAN ... JESUS, the INTERNET!

TFTFY

...content free ad network...

SPOOKY new Pluto snaps will make the HAIR RISE on the back of your neck

Re: One Way Mission to Dwarf Planet X

Queue the theremin sound-track! :-)

BOFH: Power corrupts, uninterrupted power corrupts absolutely

Ah, the good ol' ET server...

"We need an engineer!"

Thassokay, Simon - I'll have my flamer and/or mobile-MG ready and waiting for you on Friday night :-)

(flame icon for my favourite BOFH roasting weapon)

Nano – meet her: AMD's Radeon R9 4K graphics card for non-totally bonkers gamers, people

This Actually Looks Kinda Neat

I've got a slightly aging but still quite well spec'd out Shuttle XPC gaming rig that something like this would be *perfect* for. Yeah, the price is a little high but damn if those aren't some good specs for something that size. Most cards designed for smaller cases aren't particularly powerful beasties so this makes for a pleasant change.

3 display ports is also rather spiffing eh wot! :-)

Ads watchdog slams Mind Candy for upselling subscriptions to kids

Bin Weevils?

AKA maggots? :-o

(Paris icon because it's the closest icon in the list that looks like a maggot)

Parrot drone pwned (and possibly killed) with Wi-Fi log-in

Yarrrrrr...

RAWK! POLLY WANTS A HACKER! POLLY WANTS A HACKER! RAWK!

*runs for the hills screaming like a loon*

AI finally understands primitive sketches – aka marketing presentations

You forgot to put "paradigm" in there somewhere :-)