* Posts by Rat

19 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Apr 2007

Labour MP denies calling Tories 'scum-sucking pigs' on Twitter


Suspicious, but...

If - and that's a big if - he was hacked, I suppose it's possible that the hacker deleted the old, non "scum-sucking" tweet, and retweeted it with the added words.

Seems highly implausible to me, though; if someone had hacked the account with the intent of publicly embarrassing the Minister, you'd think they'd tweet something a bit more offensive and contentious than that.

Sounds to me like a common-or-garden noob getting caught out in a bare-faced lie. About par for the course for politics in this country, these days...

'Anti-cyberbullying' rapper sorry for SMS smack talk

Dead Vulture

He's So Stupid It Must Hurt

The irritating little fuckwit called her the day after the show. That hardly constitutes "heat of the moment", now does it?

Besides, I thought that in this country, making a death threat was a criminal offence?

Revolutionary triangular-key keypad out on Android



...sounds great, but there's no way in hell I'm paying £2 to beta someone's software. Free trial or no sale, bub.

Helpdesk Heroes or unappreciated geeks?


Even The Cleaners Are Against Us

A while back, I was sysadmin for a small-ish call centre in the southwest UK. Amongst our various servers was a small unit that had originally been a desktop, but had had Linux installed on it and was temporarily acting as mail server for the company. Now, whilst we had UPS for our "mission critical" machines - PDC, fileserver, db server, and the server that ran the call centre package we used - the little Linux mailserver was just plugged into the wall like any other desktop.

It ran fine for about a week following deployment. Then, the first Monday morning following installation, I arrived in work to find the early-rising MD running around like a headless chicken. "Email is broken!" she wailed. "Fix it now!". First port of call, obviously, was the mail server, which I found be sitting awaiting approval to run a full disk check. "Odd", I thought, and let it run. An hour or so later, mail was back up and all the stuff that had been sent over the weekend arrived in people's mailboxes.

All was fine for the rest of the week. The following Monday, I arrived in work to find that "email is broken again! Fix it now!". Of course, I went to look at the mailserver.

This time I found that it was unplugged. Consequently, I asked about the areas that the weekend cleaners covered, and was told that yes, the server room was an area that they were supposed to clean, and yes, they had a key.

I affixed a small Post-It note to the plug that read "DO NOT UNPLUG!", and the mailserver served us reliably and faithfully for another six months until management made good on their threat and bought a new server and a copy of Exchange. But that's a whole other story...


Sometimes They Lie

I once took a support call from a user complaining that her keyboard had stopped working. Since her office was only a couple of doors down from mine, I duly strolled over to take a look.

Upon arrival at the desk, I pressed a couple of keys - CapsLock, NumLock, the usual suspects. I took a look around the back to check that the keyboard was still plugged in and it wasn't some wag playing a joke - and indeed, the PS/2 connecter was still connected. I unplugged it, checked for bent pins, put it back in. Still nothing.

I then asked the user if anything had happened recently that she could think of that might have caused it; she said no. I asked if she'd spilled anything on the keyboard - again, the answer was no. I told her that I'd get a replacement for her, and then unplugged the keyboard, picked it up, and put it under my arm.

At which point, a stream of cola poured out of the keyboard and ran down my trouser leg. She looked at me, sheepishly, and said "Oh. Sorry.".

Phorm gets £15m lifeline

Dead Vulture

Here's hoping...

...that this heralds Phorm's slide into ignominious obscurity. Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of tards.

Tombstone because, let's be honest, that's where we'd all like to see Kent E and the rest of Phorm.

Phorm woos browsers with personalised web


Yeah right

The day I opt in to Phorm's browser profiling is the day I invite Kent Ertugrul to anally rape me with a splintery stick. I'll be damned if my browsing habits go toward lining that fucktard's pockets.

Oh, and don't think I won't stoop to badmouthing Phorm to each and every person I have any influence with regarding IT - and, like most geeks, that's quite a lot of people...

Hippus HandshoeMouse

Thumb Down

Nice idea, shame about the price

Sounds and looks like a great mouse, but they can go f**k themselves if they think I'm paying £266 for a left-handed version!

Huawei shows iPhone-style Android handset

Thumb Down


Nice render. Let me know when there are some technical specs to indicate that it's something other than vapourware.

Exam board to hear appeal over format cockup


School cocks up and students suffer

Nothing in that article explains to me why the students are being made to pay for what is clearly an administrative cockup by the school.

BBC's speak you're branes collapses under Brand-Ross sex outrage


As far as I can see...

...the only real value to this whole thing is that it might finally expel that tedious twat Brand from our screens. I don't have any real beef with Ross.

Vista scrabbles for X Factor

Dead Vulture

Marketing is the root of all evil

'"This is where we set the record straight, shatter the stereotype and show who the REAL PCs are," thundered Rob Reilly, top man at Microsoft’s ad firm Crispin Porter + Bogusky.'

What record? That Vista's crap? Too late, the techies that decide which OS your average punters - ie their Mums and Dads - buy already know that Vista is a steaming pile of shite.

Which sterotype? That Vista's a steaming pile of shite? Horse has already bolted on that one, mate. You know what they say - you can't polish a turd.

The REAL PCs? Wtf? Does this marketard even know what he's talking about? Well, of course not, but that's never stopped them. Oh, and they're inanimate objects, so that's "what", not "who". And this muppet is allowed to *employ* people?

Just put Vista out of its misery and move on.

Reg reader completely loses the plot


Spunk Bubble

Seems like the article in question touched a nerve - which pretty much confirms to me that that excruciatingly written vitriol was shat out by one of the top brass at whichever forgettably mediocre telco the article was about.

The risible spelling and grammar can only be the product of a public school, so clearly his English Master spent too much time penetrating and not enough time educating.

All in all, 2/10. Your troll-fu is weak, rich wanker. Go back to fucking your employees.

The IT Crowd goes west

Paris Hilton


...are we exporting this rubbish? It's not a geek comedy, it's a comedy that ridicules geeks.

I'd be more than happy to see the turgid shit-com that is "The IT Crowd" die a death and fade into well-deserved obscurity.

Paris, 'cause at least she's actually funny, even if she doesn't mean to be.

San Francisco's 'rogue' sysadmin still being paid while in jail


Live the Dream

"He was very good at what he did, and sometimes that goes to people's heads and we think that's what this is about."

Or perhaps he just got crapped on by senior management, and decided to live the dream...

Homer Simpson debuts in Oxford Dictionary of Modern Quotations


Hail to the Kwyjibo!

This cromulent article certainly embiggened my understanding of modern quotations.

NASA inks deal for Shuttle replacements



I agree with Morely. Where's the pioneering spirit that put men on a sound stage in Nevada?

Channel 4 refuses to pull Diana crash pics



Absolutely despicable. From the article :

"Channel 4 supremo Julian Bellamy said it was "not their intention to cause William and Harry distress". He expanded: "Channel 4 acknowledges the concerns expressed by the Princes William and Harry about the documentary. We would like to make clear that it was not our intention in commissioning this programme to cause them distress and we do not believe it is in any way disrespectful to the memory of Princess Diana."

Since the Princes have explicitly asked for certain scenes to be removed, and since Channel 4 have completely ignored their quite reasonable request, Julian Bellamy was quite clearly lying when he made the above statement. Besides, his opinion as to the level of respect shown is irrelevant - only the Princes' opinions matter in that regard.

If only there were some way to hold him to account for the distress he's about to cause...

UK's lags bemoan Freeview channel blackout


They're kidding, right?

From the article:

"Prisoners should count themselves lucky that they even have televisions..."

I think that says it all, really. Whiny little biatches.