Posts by Chris Bradshaw

Large Hadron Collider to fire up again next Thursday

Hmmm

'following the Xmas break in a week's time' - went a little heavy on the pre-Xmas partying there, Lewis?? ;-)

John Mayer tweets remorse over Playboy interview

While we are being infantile...

Ohh! Ms Bee used the* 'f-word'. Can I have her bun please?

* well, OK, 'an' f-word...

Vodafone tosses out idiot tweeter

Re nitpicking...

The 'vast majority' of Reg comentards use

<----------------- this icon for nitpicking comments like yours. ;-)

isn't it better to learn to accept the ideas of people who don't conform to what the 'vast majority' want? As long as there isn't any harm done to anyone, of course.

Dear Adobe: It's time for security rehab

Analogy closer to home..

"if there was such a widespread problem historically Flash could not have achieved its wide use today." As if the Ford Pinto, Chevy Covair, or indeed the Toyota Camry didn't gain popular acceptance as well.

And I guess he also feels Microsoft could never have achieved wide use of Windows with any frequent crash problems (BSOD, anyone?)...

Extreme pr0n suspect has his internet access suspended

But if he lives in the forest...

he will have increased access to animals. Not photos of animals, but the real thing.

Won't someone* please think of the animals**?

*other than PETA

** finally found a use for the badger icon ;-)

Microsoft's IE 8 misses Windows 7 updraft

90% != 62%

I make it only 62% and dropping, and that's assuming both IE8 and IE7 render as badly as IE6 (they don't) and also that customers have only one browser on their systems (they don't).

The look of shock is probably because they suddenly realize that every time they pay for a web site, the cost has been higher for code to work around the non-compliance of M$. Augumented by the high cost of being tied to M$ Office, Excel, and/or Word, the cost of upgrading to Vista and back down to XP, the extra license upgrades because the cheap PC came with Home Basic, etc...

Windows 7 users to fly without SP parachute

^H explained..

^H is shorthand for the 'backspace' control character in Unix. When you type a backspace into a terminal or shell, ^H is sent to the computer, which interprets it as a backspace and erases the last character.

If someone writes 'Vista is a steaming pile of turds^H^H^H^H^Hnoodles', they want to say that they wrote 'turds' but then decided to backspace over it and use a different word (in this case 'noodles'). Generally used for sarcasm and 'goodthink' highlighting...

Steve Wozniak, your time is up

Jealous?

Hey, what's the problem? Woz made a chunk of money and then retired to have some fun with his life, rather than trying to beat Bill Gates by running a big corp and making money. He's not a businessman, he's a prankster geek who made it (one of the first) and dropped out of the corporate world.

It really doesn't matter that he isn't extremely competent at a lot of the things he does. So what? He's enjoying his life, doing what he likes doing. How many of us, in his situation, would have the courage to do that?

Keep the Woz in el Reg - I'd prefer a world full of him and Jobs than a world full of Gates and co. And no, I'm not a fanboi...

Closeted lesbian sues Netflix for privacy invasion

She should have kept her head down

I have sympathy with her, she shouldn't be outed against her will. But the lawsuit almost challenges people to try and find her - she has publicized that she has something to hide and that by using the Netflix data plus the internet, she can be found. A lot of people with various intentions (good or bad) are going to try to find her, most likely some will succeed. If she wanted her data to be kept private, a public lawsuit is not the right answer.

There is the same difference between a 'security in obscurity' unpatched server and a 'try and pwn my unpatched server' challenge. One MAY be pwned, the other WILL be...

Iraqi insurgents hack US drones with $26 software

Excellent idea

As a side benefit, it will help get rid of some of the lawyers.

Plough gives birth to sextuplets

Can you please

use the term 'nude-eye' instead of naked-eye. It is so much more tasteful...

McKinnon lawyers file last gasp extradition appeal

mistaken...

Yes, but only if the suspect would potentially face the death penalty for the crime committed.

IIRC there was a case recently where the US guaranteed a murder (or similar?) suspect a max penalty of life so that the extradition could go forward...

AT&T to choke your iPhone

Read the byline

"By Rik Myslewski in San Francisco" - the author is based in (or writing from) the US. El Reg is British in origin, but there is evidently an office in SF with (one assumes) mostly American hacks. Honestly, how much more American can you get than "Myslewski"?

Icon - send the poor chaps over there a decent beer.

LHC pulverises previous record: 2.36 TeV surprise collision!

Or

Actually, the LHC is a large collider for large hadron collisions.

Uh..

Does the anti-matter really matter??

Yeah, the lab coat please

Microsoft and EU close on browser settlement?

sorted out?

Wake up, please. M$ still has the monopoly on OSes and is still abusing it. I cannot buy a new PC of my choice without paying a substantial amount extra for an OS that I do not want (Windows).

It is somewhat better than it was, but certainly not good enough.

No more UFO reports please, says MoD

Uh...

Shouldn't this come under the Foreign Office anyway? Of course, after the UFOs attack it would be a DoD problem, but until then ...

OT: We need multiple icon capability - I'd put alien, welcome, bullhorn, helicopters, grenade, fire and tombstone (in that order ;-) )

Lots of young adults still sexting shock

Keep it in perspective...

I am much more concerned about teenage promiscuity, with diseases and pregnancies, than teenage sexting.

A nude picture of someone published on the internet is one thing, unpleasant in a social sense but it does not damage someone's life or your body forever.

AIDS, other STDs, pregnancy, teenage motherhood will all change a person's life forever. Even an abortion can cause problems later in life.

Bing dies (briefly) after Microsoft hits wrong button

@ Pengie

I believe the correct term is 'went down'

And I absolutely agree, we'd all notice..

Muswell Hillbillies force BT to move broadband boxes

Ah, yes, but

Paris's box isn't 1.6 m tall, and (last I saw it anyway) isn't green...

Swedish lactating bloke's dream turns sour

Won't someone think of the children?

Seriously - Mummy is for breastfeeding, Daddy is for more fun stuff (being tossed in the air, climbing onto his head, throwing food at, etc...).

Pentagon world-sim tool making good progress, say profs

Ummm

I don't think so. Most Americans can't even get into a British or Canadian mindset (think about the current debates on health care, gun ownership, and the death penalty).

How are the Pentagon (not exactly the most open-minded of Americans) going to effectively simulate Muslims, Africans, Arabs, South-east Asians, etc. Let alone the smaller but still very significant differences between (say) Afghans, Pakistanis, Iranians, Uzbekis and Kazakhs. And then You have to simulate the different tribes / communities in these countries, plus differences due to city / town / village / farm upbringing, and education, religious background, nationalism / tribalism, and so on.

It's a great idea, and it would be fine if it worked. I just worry about the military mind's tendency to depend on an intelligence analysis (or in this case a computer) predicting what the 'emeny' (and for that matter what the local 'friendlies') will do, based on a very incomplete understanding of the people involved.

People were surprised what Hitler did, even though they read his books. Nobody thought Vietnam would be the quagmire it was, nor Afghanistan nor Iraq.

He/she who does not learn from history is bound to repeat it...

Uni seeks 'research officer' for sex trade 'fieldwork'

Only one question, really

What kind of perks does the job offer??

Spectrum goes liberal at EU level

Ah administration...

"less regulation, but more regulators, across Europe"

I, for one, welcome our new European spectrum talking-shop regulators...

Apple cult leader emails outside world

Bad PR

He needs to change his product's name, perhaps to iBackup myPodRip or something like that.

Then, he can (and should) send an email to his 6 million customers (who are also Apple customers) explaining the name change. That will cost Apple a huge amount in bad PR and customer goodwill, not measurable though.

Apple has a problem - even a good product which rips of their trademark will weaken or invalidate their trademark. They have to defend their product's name like this.

Tesla Roadster used for videogame audio

Ferret/blimp theme

Can we get off the ferret theme now. please, Mr. Coward? I think we've got it...

Megaphone because apparently someone didn't get it the first time...

Queen promises to make poverty and budget deficits illegal

Hurrah

'this is about governing, it's not about electioneering' - at least there is one person in UK politics who cares more about the long-term prosperity of the country than whether he/she will have a job come next election.

Oh, hang on, never mind...

Legless woman falls onto Boston train tracks

Wow

I'm just glad she wasn't trying to drive...

And am I really the first beer icon?

Eat my dust - it's time for Comment of the Week

Hmmm...

Gentlemen*, I think we lost. AIUI, no particular comment stood out, and instead one was picked at random - the smirk (if I read it correctly) was the Reg staff premeditating the look of dismay and despair on the faces of the straining commentards when realizing that the Camel Balls are going to someone whose idea of humor is brick dust in a brick factory.

Or, the AC got to the right pub at the right time...

* Just a figure of speech.

H Ross Perot Jr fails to grab rhino by the horns

This is the 21st century

You shoot animals for fun with cameras, not guns. If you want to show how brave you are, then get up close - the detail on the blown-up photo will prove it.

Being on safari is wonderful, I've seen wild rhinos in Africa and they are stunning, really beautiful and absolutely amazing. How someone can want to kill an animal like that is beyond me. Sick, sick, sick.

I'll kick in a fiver (pick any currency) towards Aristotle's horses showdown fundraiser.

Woman rings cops to decry daughter's superior BJ skills

Perhaps

Perhaps, as a conciliatory gesture, the daughter could show her mother her technique, some of her tricks. It might improve the entire family situation :-)

Agincourt actually an even scrap, historians claim

Did you..

check Wikipedia on this??

NZ town cans rabbit-chucking contest

Cultural differences..

If these were Central Asian nomads and they were tossing around a dead sheep / goat carcass on horseback (as they like to do), nobody would complain. Unless (I suppose) they were doing it in NZ, or the goat was a NZ citizen (as I understand it, there is a good deal of fondness for sheep there <wink>).

Desecration has different meanings for different people, some would think organ donorship is terrible too. And others would condemn burning a body (or for that matter feeding it to worms). Myself, I am for recycling it (feed the vultures at the zoo).

Tossing a dead rabbit is not worse than shooting a live rabbit, from the rabbit's point of view. What happens to it after death is immaterial, if the kids enjoy the contest and there are no health concerns, let them have their fun.

A dead body is just that, a piece of meat, unless you knew it personally (a pet) or were related to it (a human). It is somewhat disrespectful to toss a dead animal, but I can see the benefits too (the kids will be more inclined to think of rabbits as vermin).

Japanese bloke gets arsey over artificial rectum

Has to be said

What an a**hole...

El Reg launches 'Skinny Fit' fashion range

No good

How come she doesn't look like a stick insect carrying two watermelons??

Airport rethinks strip-scanner for kids

So don't show the 'body' image

Just have the monitor background be white, (or the same as the flesh color), so it shows the non-fleshy bits (belt buckle, pen, AK47) while making the body shape (almost) invisible.

And, frankly, given the choice between someone seeing an outline of a child's body (incl naughty bits) and someone patting said child down (incl naughty bits), the outline is a smaller risk.

Paris - because of the naughty bits...

iPhone saves woman from bear

Bears are scavengers

and will eat anything sweet, including apparently an Apple.

Windows 7, Bing and mobile will determine Ballmer's future

Perhaps...

if he threw a chair at the shareholders, and yelled that he would f***ing kill them, they would be more inclined to keep him on.

Need a flying chair icon

Twitter gets $100m injection

But where is the complete experience...

What are you drinking with the sandwich, and which mustard is on it? No link to a video of the chewing process, not even a pic of the sandwich.

This is the naughties, it's Web 2.0 now, you've got to improve the experience for all of us if you expect us twitterees to buy in...

Microsoft howls as Google turns IE into Chrome

Google will win this,

It is a perfect situation, Google just need to implement the bog-standard "You need a plug-in to continue, click here to download and install it" link.

The typical IE user, bless their little heart, will click on pretty much anything that asks to install itself because that is how they have been trained by M$ to interact with their computer.

And as soon as this Google plug-in is available, other sites (which want to use HTML5 so they don't have to code for older IE versions) will link to Google's plug-in for IE users to install. The user is happy because they still will have their familiar IE, and M$ loses market share.

Hubble back in form with stunning new images

@ 4 galaxies not 5

The galaxy close to the center of the picture is actually two galaxies, a bar spiral and an elliptical. Look for the bright central spots, the elliptical is below the spiral.

T-Orange: And then there were four

I sense a Reg poll coming up

"The new venture, which won't have a name until 2012"

Can we have a new name poll please? I respectfully submit for your consideration the following:

Morbinge (my personal favorite)

Torbile

Mobile Orange

Mobor

Mobe*

* I also propose a limited lifting on the Reg ban for the duration of the poll and subsequent merge if this entry wins).

Microsoft pimps bogus Windows 7 'launch parties'

WTF??

Someone somewhere needs a reality check, and a little maturity, and a big dose of humility. If customers aren't sponaneously having parties for your product launch (and, let's face it, they aren't), bribing them to host one is not going to increase their goodwill.

This looks like a kid's themed birthday party - substitute "Snow White" or 'Batman" or "Peter Pan" for "Windows 7 Desktop" and you have yourself a great party. For 7 year olds. The software should be substituted for the appropriate DVD. And, frankly, even with the extra noise, I'll take a 7 year old Peter Pan party over a product launch party any day. And I'll remember it longer...

For a 'worldwide' experience, they are missing too many continents and far too many countries. Doesn't M$ have pocket change for postage???

I wouldn't be seen dead eBaying any of the party stuff, sorry, I don't need the $$ that badly. But I would be interested in a psychological study of the people who would BUY this kind of stuff on eBay.

iPhone rescue girl gets head stuck down bog

Mum is right

"you have to laugh at these things" - she's right, the alternative is feeling bad about it for the rest of your life. She's got an instant claim to fame, and she'll be a stronger person because of it. Hold your head up (sorry for the metaphor, butt (sic) it is Friday...) and life goes on.

Anyway, it could have been worse - she could have fallen in...

Israelis offer unmanned robo smart-missile 8-pack

Let's see...

Usage - one assumes you parachute the (appropriately camoflaged) boxes at night into locations where they are not likely to be noticed fast, i.e. empty desert, cornfields, music festivals, etc...

Simple defense - build a 'lid' which hooks onto the frame, with bars to hold the missiles in. Or tip the thing over on it's side and park a car in front of it. But you have to find the box to defend against it...

Hmm.. A soldier with a gun and laser pointer for smart bombs isn't deadly enough, now they have to have cruise missles... Can't wait till they get mini-nukes in them.

Lots of icon possiblities here, but I'll go for Mr. Orwell :-(

German inventor gushes over portable women's weebag

Lego re-enactment please...

Filling a need we didn't know we had, at the expense of the landfills. How is this more useful than an adult diaper? Seems to me the unreferenced* but well-known NASA love-triangler had the right idea.

@ Eh? AC - if one wears a skirt, there's no exposure in the arrestable sense. Then again, if one wears a skirt, one doesn't need the wee bag...

@ northern monkey - the liquidy problem is what this solves, using super-absorbent crystals to soak the stuff up.

@Steve Evans - FYI, Germans (incl. some women) drink from litersteins, which is almost 2 pints imperial and just over 2 pints US. And IIRC, a half-liter of beer (about a pint) is the smallest measure you can get in a pub.

* Missed one there, Lester...

Microsoft assaults our senses with 'viral' Bing video

Beam me up Scotty

There's no intelligent life on this planet...

@ Urgh re "'m going to adopt "bing" as my preferred verb for taking a dump."

I'll go the sexual intercourse reference route myself, as in "I binged my girlfriend twice last night." Meet back here in three years to see who won?? :-)

Exotic star's 'violent ejections' during companion's visits

Sounds like an interesting relationship..

But doesn't the phrase "regular ejections of matter every few decades ... caused by occasional interactions between the star and a longtime companion." just cry out for substitution of the word 'ejaculations' instead of 'ejections', and similar throughout? It IS friday, you know, and there are rules about this sort of thing....

Paris because the beer icon is for later...

Germanic types in yodeling copyright tussle

WTF???

'...more exciting to listen to Oktoberfest bands' - Who goes to Oktoberfest to listen to the music (let alone get excited by it...).

OT: perfect icon (perfekt ikon??) for this...

Kind soul donates Claymore mine to charity

Sorry in advance

Not much Goodwill, more like Good Will Hunting...

Outta here...