* Posts by Boris the Cockroach

2456 posts • joined 10 Mar 2008

Exsparko-destructus! What happens when wand waving meets extremely poor wiring

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Re: Nothing New

Yupp... been there.. seen that... had to fix it anyway because the boat was leaving in 4 hrs regardless....

With Alphabet's legendary commitment to products, we can't wait to see what its robotics biz Intrinsic achieves

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

AI to program

industrial robots?... is it April the 1st again? this covid pandemic has really screwed up my sense of time..

We dont want the robots to program themselves or analyse the task or do anything other than what we tell them to. because they are bloody expensive when they break.

our way is that repeat work is saved as programs, the machine tool is loaded with a part number, the robot is loaded with a program matching that part number, and away we go making bits (I've simplified the process a lot here )

Any new work is designed up and tested as best we can off the machine, followed by teaching the robot howto hold and move the part.. everything done nice and slow so we can see the problems as they occur so where is the AI going to fit in?

20 years learning machining and programming? or is it just going to find 'best fit' from a huge database of knowledge without the specific knowledge that always catches us engineering types out

Or put it a shorter way "would you fly on an aircraft thats had its flight control software written by an AI?"

BOFH: You say goodbye and I say halon

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Ahhhh such dedication

to be able to come up with an accidental boss replacement tool and yet no trace of how the foul deed was done

We are learning so much here it defys belief.

Now if only he could teach us the best way to protect our keyboards....

although on the subject of teaching, our work experience guy left today, an older and wiser man, for although he never wants to have anything to do with the likes of us robot wranglers again, he has learned that in any future employment to seek out the oldest grumpiest employee and offer him coffee in the morning, then sit at his feet and learn the wisdom from him. And especially run any new idea past his eye and wait for the possible reactions:-

1. laughter : forget about your idea and go get more coffee

2. 'The look' : run away if you want to live and return after 30 mins with more coffee

3. The raised eyebrow : your idea has some merit , fetch more coffee, notepads, pens, drawing equipment, laptop, CAD station, another coffee, a full cost analysis of your proposal and how best to sell it to the manglement.

Subcontractors working on CityFibre's £45m Derby rollout threaten to 'rip up tarmac' in dispute over payments

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Re: Reason

In our case when a customer refused to pay on 'such and such' grounds where they were a sub-contractor to another company, we moved all their work to 'holding' and got on making other people's stuff

Then we found out that our valued customer was in the process of stiffing other suppliers in the same way.

Their aim was to bankrupt their sub-contractors so that they wouldn't have to pay their bills. thus keeping all the profits we'd make(and other suppliers make) for themselves

Must have been hard for them to explain why the project was being held up for a lack of pressure housings we had no intention of finishing until we'd been paid for the 1st batch.

And people wonder why I always want to go with the boss for the annual visit to a Birmingham customer..

UK celebrates 25 years of wasteful, 'underperforming' government IT projects

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

View from the ground floor

There is a reason for the systemic failure of government IT projects

Perhaps a discussion among el-reg regulars would reveal a couple more , but the primary cause is 'mission creep' (something us engineers suffered from when I were a civil servant in <redacted>)

What would happen in our case is that some non-technical mangler would try and keep up with us techies by spouting "wouldn't it be a good idea if such and such was implemented" after reading our prototype report.

To which our most respected team leader (science qualifications coming out of his ears) would answer "f*** off, you dont know what you are talking about, the design is fixed"(he taught me so much.. )

of course software is a different kettle of fish when outside contractors are doing it, because "sure it can be done, lets stick a varience in the contract and away we'll go, subject to the extra time taken to implement it" is the standard answer, and if delivery is in 9 months time, and you are retiring in 6 months... who cares anyway

repeat after a change in government, followed by the comittee(a great way of avoiding responsibility for cock ups)approving yet another change , and you can see why a simple job to display the time on a display in the house of commons lobby takes 5 yrs and 40 million quid.....

Russia's ISS Multipurpose Laboratory Module launches after years sitting on a shelf, immediately runs into issues

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Re: No problem!

Speaking as an Elite vet, you're going to be far better served by asking for a Kerbal space program veteran with 10 year experience in flying rendezvous orbits (usually by planning but mostly by the seat of their pants.)

You see the latest batch of elite pilots have been spoiled by something called 'an autopilot' whereas us true kerbalnauts distain the use of such devices and thus able to calculate orbital mechanics in our heads.

Plus we have a rather nifty universal docking claw...

Verified: UK.gov launching plans for yet another digital identity scheme

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Re: Got to keep the gravy train rolling

You just had to mention Fujitsu.

Just as a paper exercise(after reading another load of posties were cleared of theft) I considered howto make a transaction client/server system that could do what horizons did.

The short answer : I could'nt.

the longer answer : the only way I could finally do it was to get the transaction log from the client, and send it unverified onto further processing. any transmission errors went too

And these are the sorts of people the government want handling "One ID to rule them all "

Oh dearie dearie me

UK and chums call out Chinese Ministry of State Security for Hafnium Microsoft Exchange Server attacks

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
IT Angle

When it comes to revolutions I agree with Orwell

That the revolution is led by the middle classes saying to the proles "rise up look how badly the aristos are treating you", then once the aristos have been safely guilotined/shot/thrown down a mineshaft and the middle class revolutionaires are in charge, suddenly we have a new bunch of aristos and the proles go back to being treated as bad or worse than they were before. and the revolutionaires make sure no one can topple them by shooting all the remaining middle class people on the basis they are 'class traitors' or something

Stalin was good at that.

Gung-ho tank gamer spills classified docs in effort to win online argument

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: In the public domain

I think that one was ment to be found and handed to the BBC......

As for tank man, lets hope he was posting from a communal computer in the mess rather than the one in his barracks room......

Happy 'Freedom Day': Stats suggest many in England don't want it or think it's a terrible idea

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
IT Angle

I'm off

clubbing and socialising tonight... no mask... Boris said its was all ok

And Boris would never lie to us would he? would he? .... would he?

Actually bozo the clown has made this pandemic worse with his mixed messages, failure to cancel sporting occasions last year , failure to close borders, failure to ensure isolation measures were followed... and spending money like a waterfall on entirely the wrong things(but gave his ministers companies a fair amount of cash).

And with the latest 'freedom' day bozo will ensure that covid casulties among the younger and poorer generation go up as 'who needs them anyway.. they'll never donate 10 million to the tory party in exchange for a knighthood and a 1 billion pound bung to their company.'

Refreshing: An Office update that won't frighten the horses

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge


"Please bring back space efficient, logical design!"

They will in a few years..... so they can charge you for the honour AND claim its more productive as a sales line to the beancounters.....

And thus everyone curses m$ as they relearn all the shortcuts...again....

NASA fixes Hubble Space Telescope using backup power supply unit, payload computer

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Re: Sounds vaguely familiar.. LOL

Our problem was never the security on the gate, our problem was always the brain dead squaddies/matlots left to guard whatever room we were installing the kit in.

Come back from lunch and its "Cant let you in there , its all secret stuff"

And my team leader would then point out that he'd designed it, bob had built it and I'd installed it and we all knew exactly what it was and what it did... and in any case you were here 30 mins ago and watched us all come out of that room saying we were off for lunch.

I wonder if the military hand out awards for mindlessly following orders...

Windows 10 to hang on for five more years with 21H2 update

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Same old windows 10

Rebooted my Linux file server into windows 10 to check something.

Then hit the reboot button to get it back to being its usual self.

Please wait windows updating.... ok time to go cook anyway

Come back 30 mins later "Please wait windows updating".. F.you , power off and boot it into Linux

I have bitter memories of win10 doing that at work and wasting a whole morning when our CAM system 'updated' (and me getting a kicking from the boss too )

BOFH: But soft! What light through yonder filing cabinet breaks?

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge


"I can see the PFY reaching for the workplace accident report form, but I shake my head slightly ..."

That line would have destroyed yet another keyboard.... had work experience guy(who to say the least, is one of the nicest people I've ever had to teach/corrupt ) managed to throw a plastic sheet over said keyboard thus preventing my lunch time pre pub coffee from coming into contact with it.

Maybe a full afternoon session in the pub will have some effect on him.... but must teach him to art of turning off the phone first. cant have the boss calling up and disturbing the lessons...

Try placing a pot plant directly above your CRT monitor – it really ties the desk together

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

The call

came from a relative

"Moniters dead.. went fizzle fizzle pop"

Duely turned up, and the nice 19" crt is dead as a dodo.

Spun it around on the desk and whipped the cover off and WTF!.... cat fur and god knows what all over the innards

"Oh yes, tiddles likes sleeping on top of the moniter because its nice and warm there....."

Wheres the vomit icon?

Annoyed US regulator warns it might knock SpaceX's shiny new Texas tower down

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

And yet

He has planning permission from the local council


Something smells here..... maybe the FAA want a nice brown envelope too

UK's biggest trade union takes aim at Amazon over 'price gouging' allegations

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
IT Angle

It wasn't just Amazon

£5 for a roll of low grade toilet paper at the height of that shortage....(self induced shortage by stupid people that is)

But there were plenty of copies of The Sun to go round and being covered in shit instead of full of shit improved the paper no ends..

UK govt draws a blank over vaccine certification app – no really, the report is half-empty

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Dont worry

I had my first back in feb

Then in may just before the 2nd was due , got messages from the NHS demanding I had my first....

Gave in after checking with GP they were'nt fake, booked a 'first' and got my 2nd

People at clinic (the same one as first) had no record of me having the jab... until I showed them the appointment sent to my phone and the card they gave me at the first.... then they went "Another missing record" updated everything and jabbed me

If NHS england cant even record a simple jab , you've got no hope of NHS scotland even thinking of talking to NHS england.

As Europe hopes to double its share of global chip production, Intel comes along with $20bn, plans for fabs

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Re: Cost assertions don't make sense


"We're schooled in the long obsolete notion that Asians work for peanuts (or rice or whatever). They don't. They earn good money, comparable with the wages paid to US workers (here I mean 'workers', not executives). Land and utility costs in the US can be low, especially in states like New Mexico. So where's this "Costs 30% more" coming from?"

Speaking from the industrial plant end of the IT game, pretty much the machines cost the same where ever you are, shipping and import taxes apart, and then the primary costs are labour and power in that order.

The cost advantage in Asia is that employee protection is much laxer, along with enviromental laws.

So we have to fit lock out cages around the gear adding to the cost, and have to pay someone to recycle used oil/coolants rather than pouring them in the nearest river also adding to our running costs.

The biggest downer on what we do is is always the customers going 'I could get it made cheaper in China with the same plant" to which our response is nearly always "we give a quicker turn around(no 8000 mile ship voyage for delivery), plus you can come in and discuss your needs when its clear your designers need new crayons"(we're slightly more diplomatic than that with the last one).

BOFH: Where there is darkness, let there be a light

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Hang on.. its monday

And I haven't done anything to the work experience guy... apart from make him dispose of 2 keyboards

Although he did scream "it burns it burns" when he disposed of the one the former PFY left me

Wanna feel old? It is 10 years since the Space Shuttle left the launchpad for the last time

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Re: Good.

GPS for a start , now we can use a simple mobile phone to locate us when we get lost.

It also lets us explore our own origins, like how and when the moon was formed.

But the most revealing thing is just how much tech was developed aroudn the idea of ICBMs and launching stuff into orbit

Where's the boss? Ah right, thorough deep-dive audit. On the boardroom table. Gotcha

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Was'nt quite in the board room

But lunch time for me on the night shift was a wander to the local refreshment center (that closed at 11pm) to partake in a light snack (liquid)

The pub had 2 bars and you could see from one into the other.

Ordered lunch, glanced into the other bar... then pointed out to the barman that the man in the blue shirt would be paying for lunch.

The man in question was the owner of the business I attended. needless to say, he came storming round to where I am with "WTF you doing in the pub while you should be at work" and "I'm not paying for your lunch"

"ok" I responded "I'll just walk back to work without my lunch, and when I'm back there, I'll call your wife with the news you were in the pub with a lady and your tongue was so far down her throat I'm sure you were tickling her vocal cords...."

I find blackmail such a dirty word, I prefer "Performance enhanced gift giving"

BOFH: Here in my car I feel safest of all. I can listen to you ... It keeps me stable for days

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

We have still

much to learn from the BOFH, partly on adding extra clauses to our contracts, but especially where to insert said clauses

Speaking of inserting, the departed PFY left me a present, all boxed up neat as you like and sealed in plastic... on unwrapping it I'll only use the word 'keyboard' for it as its rectanglar and has a USB lead hanging off it... dried up coffee and hobnob bits are the least of the things in there.

On the bright side though, we have a work experience guy starting monday so rather than calling Porton down's biological warfare department to get rid of the thing, I'll use work experience guy on monday... baptism of fire and all that..

Florida Man sues Facebook, Twitter, YouTube for account ban

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Thumb Down

Re: It's the plot of 'The Producers'.

Great... I've now got "Springtime for Hitler" as an earworm ...

Programmers! Close the StackOverflow tabs. This AI robot will write your source code for you

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Will this approach

write code for my robots?

Or will it spit out reams and reams of simple code that could be covered by a far more readable simple macro.....

Revealed: Why Windows Task Manager took a cuddlier approach to (process) death and destruction

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge


some of our stuff, the operators could just hit e.stop and then turn off the plant/robot/machine at the isolator before ending the shift....

When the PC based machines started appearing , it took ages to persude them to do a proper shutdown of the machine from the control interface rather than walking around to the isolator and pulling the nuke lever... why... because the proper shutdown saved all the in use data files to the HDD ready for the reboot... pulling the plug leaves the machine in a indeterminate state because the controls only seem to save to HDD every 10 mins or so....

Anyone for a 2 foot long tool spinning at 7000 rpm and the machine beliving its a tool only 3 inches long..... and people wonder why I keep a spare set of underwear at work..

Hmmmmm, how to cool that overheating CPU, if only there was a solution...

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

2 happening occur to me

1st one was when I were a young and keen apprentice at all things CNCery... we had a spiffing 5 axis mill, the hallowed area of the gods(well the guy with 5 years experience of loading punch tapes anyway), one bit of it was water cooled for some reason, trickled through and then dumped. until the maintance guy decided "whats this pipe here? " and cut it off.

Luckily we never started the machine as no one could get near it due to the stench coming out of the drain pipe where the water was dumped into the street sewer.

The other was a few years ago, when the alledged mangler could'nt get the HP coolant circuit running after the coolant tank was cleaned, however he had seen me prime the pump by loosening a hose fitting on the HP circuit when the pump was replaced..... and we all know that this one ends up with the coolant tank being emptied in about 10 secs by a 300 PSI pump .... was impressive how far it went too ...

If only he'd listened... loosened.. and not while the pump was running....

Happy with your existing Windows 10 setup? Good, because Windows 11 could turn its nose up at your CPU

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Thumb Down

Just need to leak

a nice story to the 'green' lobby about saying "windows 11 wont run on an earlier than 2017 pc resulting in a huge amount of e.waste being generated as companies/people are forced to upgrade"

Should get them frothing at the mouth, making lots of noise and having m$ change the specs to keep them quiet.

Then again my spare/network storage box from 2011 running an I7-2600 with 8gig of ram struggles to run windows 10 (Linux mint 20 runs like a dream) so theres no chance win 11 will run on it.... even if I wanted to

BOFH: Oh for Pete’s sake. Don’t make a spectacle of yourself

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Having been

denied my usual round of keyboard destruction by being dragged to a customer's site by the boss for the day("Be nice Boris, and say things like 'That idea could cause some production issues' instead of 'That idea is a load f'ing shite.. who came up with it? a deranged monkey with a box of f'ing crayons?' ")

I could really really do with a set of those headphones.... and glasses however the boots (steel toed) I can provide for myself but have no one to use the cattle prod on as my PFY handed his notice in today :(

Treaty of Roam finally in ashes: O2 cracks, joins rivals, adds data roaming charges for heavy users in EU

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

And this

is why bozo the clown and his cronies were the worst people ever to take charge of brexit

Because they have no idea how anyone beyond their bubble actually lives (labour are nearly as bad now...) and whats important to people.

The instant brexit was voted for, the Queen should have taken over the talks, appointed a bunch of experts to run them instead of a twat of tory davis who turned up minus his laptop and a list of terms to discuss, and got a proper deal between neighbour nations who want to trade despite differences on the way they are run.

Instead we have that there maybe a border between Northern Ireland and the republic, but it maybe in the sea.. or not..... or in Wales.. actually who knows where...a border agency that insists on triple checking form 5637374282H/P78 part 3 regarding the export of a resistor, but has'nt a clue of how many people are here illegally, and finally some bozo in 10 clowning street who takes credit for the vaccination program, but not the decisions that resulted in there being 1000s more cases here before taking any action...

And I used to think Thatcher was bad....

John McAfee dead: Antivirus tycoon killed himself in prison after court OK'd extradition, says lawyer

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Re: Why was he in a Spanish prison?

Tax evasion

guess he didnt have enough money to buy a few congress critters like the megacorps do....

Tolerating failure: From happy accidents to serious screwups … Time to look at getting it wrong, er, correctly

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Fixing errors


"Another policy was to tell the operators that, if they made a mistake, to talk about it and they would not get in to trouble."

This is the line I use all the time on our operators, own up, confess to have borked things, then we can either give you a bit more/different training or re-write the programs to prevent you(or anyone else) from making the same borkage.

Had one machine smash a 6 inch tool straight into the job when the operator hit start... needless to say this was very loud and everyone went to brown alert.

On finally persuding said operator to confess , it turned out that he'd slammed the safety door shut faster than he should have done, the PLC picked up the the door as being shut and allowed start to be pressed, which then commanded the door lock to come in and lock the door.... however the lock bolt could not engage, and so the machine threw an error "door not locked".

Operator then shut the door properly and hit start.

Everything locked, but the machine had a read ahead buffer of 5 lines, so when it hit the first error , it dumped the buffer, on the 2nd start it started from 5 lines in.... and missed out a vital setup command... hence the crash. (this fault diagnoses took me the better part of 1/2 a day)

So procedure and training were changed than on a door not locked alarm, the operator(s) were to find a setter and get them to reset the machine. and no more crashes.

plus the operators were far more open about borkages as they saw that they would not be fired for causing a major borkage.(unless they did the same thing 3 times in a row and got told to leave the building via the wood chipper....)

Updating in production, like a boss

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Re: Excuse my ignorance

Especially when the boss tells you that there is'nt time to validate and slow mo the code to prove

A. it works

B. It wont destroy anything (or anyone in the process)

Playing catch with a 100lb tool turret after its rammed a chuck spinning at 2000rpm is NOT fun. especially when it comes to changing your underwear

Windows 11: Meet the new OS, same as the old OS (or close enough)

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Re: Here here

The controls we have are all either a custom OS (a popular Japanses brand) or a german application running on top of a Linux OS with an XFCE desktop.

However the germans did offer a version that ran on top of windows and there was a big note in the mantainance manuals saying "UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ALLOW WINDOWS TO RUN UPDATE"

so everyone bought the linux version instead and now they dont offer a windows version.

Slightly more seriously, it really doesn't matter what OS is being used.... if the software has a fault it will crash the machine regardless (in my line a crash means more than a BSOD).

We had one machine move without being commanded....... then it did it again while I was trying to fault find the thing.... with the door interlock on... eekk (the whole control system got ripped out and sent back to germany to find out why it did it)

Anyways.. back to windows... the next version should be called POS because thats what windows is.. also I would not be surprised if the next version of windows after that would be a windows UI running on a Linux kernal...

What job title would YOU want carved on your gravestone? 'Beloved father, Slayer of Dragons, Register of Domains'

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
IT Angle

Re: Sir Christopher Wren's epitaph

I used to drive upto oxford and then take the A40 or A44 to go west (much more fun than droning down the M4/over the bridge)

However what was a simple roundabout(with gas station/MacDs ) they've turned into some god forsaken mess where you now have to drive into Oxford through 14 traffic lights to a roundabout with no signposts and the lane markings that seem have been splashed on at random.

(maybe oxford council thinks we're still at risk of invasion and came up with that scheme to confuse the invaders)

Anyway , back to the subject, I think mine will be a choice of 2, the classic roman

"As you are now, so was I, As I am now, so will you be"

Or better

"Here lies Boris the cockroach and he's bloody annoyed"

Wanted: Brexit grand fromage. £120k a year. Perks? Hmmmm…

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Re: Is one of the

I was hating bozo the clown's guts before it was fashionable

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
IT Angle

Is one of the

qualifications "Must have been mates with boris at oxford" ?

BOFH: When the Sun rises in the West and sets in the East, only then will the UPS cease to supply uninterrupted voltage

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge


printing out the new cockroach coat of arms (2 crossed dead keyboards on a mound of dead keyboards), the BOFH has given me another good idea for making sure the irritating production 'engineer' has an accident.

Just need to google up "Earthed anti-static mats" and know a suitable sparky who can be bribed into doing less than stellar work behind the filing cabinet in said engineer's office.

Followed by a monday morning request "Could you just get that drawing out"......

Gov.UK taskforce publishes post-Brexit wish-list: 'TIGRR' pounces on GDPR, metric measures

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge


Imperial measures

I cant wait... when us engineers can say "just needs couple of thou" instead of "move it 51.8 microns"

Back to the great days of yore when the drawings arrived in metric, got converted to imperial, converted it back to metric because the machines and measuring gear were all in metric too....

Actually its more about making sure the 'hancock is a cock" headlines stay out of the daily w(m)ail and daily excess while winding up the guardian to cover said story (also keeping the "hancock is a cock" story out of there too)

What Microsoft's Windows 11 will probably look like

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Re: Just

Such reckless hate for a simple idea.....

With office running on Linux, those linux geeks will make damn sure office will run.

For m$ it opens up a whole new revenue stream, plus the chance they can move away from the legacy of windows(and all its faults)

But FOSS.... whaa

I used closed source applications on Linux EVERY DAY, the machine tools run a custom Linux OS, then they install a closed source application on top to interface with the hardware.

If you so wish, you can contact the manufacturer and get a copy of the OS (asking for the source of the application gets a robust f-off)

It is possible to make money selling software that goes on Linux and m$ should do it(by making office for Linux)

PS Mount a USB via the command line in linux?. ... I've never done that once and I go back to Fedora 6 !

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge


give up m$ and make office available for linux.

New York State Senate first to pass landmark right-to-repair bill – but don't go popping the Champagne just yet

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Re: If they reject the bill call them out

We manufacture parts for <redacted>, we make them something like 100 000 + parts of various descriptions per year(we never bother counting after a while)... so we made them 1000 6mm pins.

and had to argue over the price (about $0.05 each).

Imagine my surprise when I discovered one of these parts in a shop ... nicely wrapped in blister pack for $15 .....

And then started investigating the mark up on some of their other products......

Whatever you've been doing during lockdown, you better stop it right now

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

Will you be doing

dead fish duct taped behind the prod.engineer's desk 3 months ago?

BOFH: Despite the extremely hazardous staircase, our IT insurance agreement is at an all-time low. Can't think why

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge


keyboard bites the dust

Not mine... or the PFY's, but strangely my boss has unblocked the register at the firewall and taken a look at the articles within to see if he can find a clue as to why so many keyboards are broken on a friday.

According to the PA, when he read the BOFH , he stood up and shouted "Thats where that damned cockroach finds his ideas!" however his coffee was knocked over in the act of standing up and yupp you can guess where it landed.

Ruined the weekend ..... after all that time and trouble I spent sweet talking the PA so she would'nt notice the PFY dropping the laxative in the boss's coffee... hey ho always next week

'Vast majority of people' are onside with a data grab they know next to nothing about, reckons UK health secretary

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge


why dont we just delete the han part so we have an idea of what hes really like

More to the point... is there a special training school in tory party HQ for churning out useless twats to 'run' the health service?

Fastly 'fesses up to breaking the internet with an 'an undiscovered software bug' triggered by a customer

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge


there'll be a very nice "Who? Me?" story out of this followed by a nicer "On-call" story

The internet was designed to avoid single point of failures...... dearie dearie me

Australian cops, FBI created backdoored chat app, told crims it was secure – then snooped on 9,000 users' plots

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge


The title sums this up.

Tiananmen Square Tank Man vanishes from Microsoft Bing, DuckDuckGo, other search engines – even in America

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
Big Brother

And for

god's sake

Dont say that Taiwan is an independent country else china will ban you

Oh well thats el-reg banned in China (along with winnie the pooh strangely)

BOFH: I'm so pleased to be on the call, Boss. No, of course this isn't a recording

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: The boss

Stealing that line for future use ..

Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

The boss

Has figured out the connection between el-reg and the routine destruction of keyboards on a friday

Hence he got our IT gurus to block el-reg at the company firewall.... the bast

However, he does not realise he is dealing with a fiendishly cunning beast.... whos noticed that the new machine is controlled by a custom application running ontop of a XFCE linux installation... however.. the machine does not have internet connection... or didnt until someone plugged a USB lead into the port on the back and set his phone to 'tethered' mode, then rebooted said machine.

Minimise the control application and I have a desktop complete with browser to play with.

Although after reading the bit about Dave retiring, I now have to explain how a machine less than 14 days old has a keyboard that looks like its been in use 14 years.......


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