Posts by Antidisestablishmentarianist

AT&T's iPhone 'iLaunch' sets record

Sheeple, Sheeple

All these people are sheeple! There must be something wrong with it for all those 'mainstream' people to buy one - I mean don't they know anything? The [Nokia/Gandroid/HTC/etc] is far better because of [insert reason mainstream people couldn't give a toss about] and isn't make by Crapple etc etc

But it's all okay - calm down calm down - stop your frothing iPhone haters. 'Your' phones are now the minority - certainly not mainstream, and that's far 'cooler'. You can tell yourself that each time you pull out your phone "I'm cool, I'm cool, I must believe".....

* Did anyone notice the terms I stole from Webster? I didn't use odd capitalisation though. Where is that rabid frothmeister anyway? Hope he didn't pop a vein in his head

Speculation mounts over AVG plans for OS X client

Always

I've always had AV software (Intego) on my Mac. Why risk an infection just so you can be a smug git.

iPhone 3.1 code goes beta

@And in other news

If you have no interest in the iPhone SDK, why did you bother to open up an article on it and place a comment saying so? That's like tweeting on twitter that you don't like twitter. Twat.

iPhone v Pre - the celebrity smartphone deathmatch

@So it's iPhone vs Pre because...?

Not sulking in the corner I hope?

Apple's iPhone 3G S: the $179 handset

And the point is?

I read this article expecting to find some conclusion at the end thus making it worth my time. I know us Reg readers are meant to be clever, but do we really have to draw our own conclusions?

Iphone costs 9$ more than Pre and...and....um....?

I'm lazy - can you fill in the gaps please?

Microsoft's Bing in travel trouble

Wot a load of tosh

Once you remove all the stuff that's the same, it's totally different!

Apple releases Java patches (finally)

What's Java?

Must be something important right? To warrant such a speedy response?

Yamaha TSX-130 iPod dock

@Overpriced

"A decent DAB radio, decent CD player, ipod dock and the box should add up to no more than £250"

Really? How do you figure that. Do you know the prices of all the components - how much their R&D costs, at what level that's amortised across their product line etc etc? Perhaps they're building up to a quality rather than down to a price?

Unless you're just saying, "I wouldn't pay more than 250, so therefore nothing should cost more than 250 - I have spoken", in which case you'd be a noily pra.

Sun succumbs to Apple envy with Java Store push

Scenarios, scenarios

There are many possible scenarios if you miss the boat:

- You wave it goodbye

- You jump for it and miss, sinking quietly without a noise in it's wake

- You jump for it, grab the back of the boat, lose your grip and get ripped apart by the propellers, causing passengers to gawk and wince at your bad luck and bloody mess

- You jump for it, grab the back of the boat, but haven't the strength to get in - you call out to the passengers for help, but they ignore you, leaving you to be 'that annoying person' always yelling from the back

- You jump and make it, sitting with the others enjoying the ride

- You jump and make it, cause dissension amongst the passengers and crew, declare a mutiny, push the captain overboard and take over, setting sail in your own direction.

I wonder which of these Sun and Microsoft et al will 'suffer'

Smera tilting e-car debuts in Paris

Queue the moaners....

...going on about how ugly it is, how expensive it is, how blah blah blah. Yawn.

All I can say is, if i was a rich bastard I'd get one.

Apple to look to software to differentiate multiple iPhone models

I've said it before...

...but when your hardware is just a big touch screen, there isn't much further you can go - I mean how many different chrome bezels can they come up with?

This means it's all down to the software.

If they segment it's fine - as long as you can upgrade AND downgrade. It'll let some noobie start of with the basics and work through to the full monty, without shelling out for new hardware. Apple will take your second child as payment for such functionality though - but that's nothing new.

I would have thought Hackers would have been cheering the news - it'll give them something to have a go at.

Why the iPhone's megapixelage alone won't matter

@Jonathan Ash

"Just to add I have a nokia n95 and the camera on it is just as good as any basic point-and-shoot"

I haven't seen a 'My N95 already does this and is better than everything in the world' style post in ages. Nice one.

Elgato Turbo.264 HD hi-def H.264 encoder

@JC

This isn't aimed at people with quad cores is it. It's aimed at those with wheezy machines - not new spankers who could soft encode in their sleep.

Admittedly it's a small market, but still a market.

@Jerome

Wow really? Clever boy. Yes I can see it now - rather than buying a little usb stick, people will run out and buy a whole computer to do the same thing. Yes, it will be very popular......

Mac flirts with 10 per cent web share

Firefox

I hate to say it, as I associate FireFox with bad hygiene, but I've been using it on my Mac for the past several months as Safari had turned into a crashing/freezing pile'o'poo. Still, I had to hunt out a Safari skin for FF, as the standard one positively reeks of said bad hygiene. Yuk.

Samsung LE40A786 'smart LED' 40in LCD TV

@Scott McKenzie

For someone who seems to know a lot, you know little about the power consumptions of plasmas.

Pssst, I'll give you a clue. They don't run full tit (550w) all the time - power consumption varies with the amount of light in the image. Of course working out the AVERAGE power consumption is just toooo hard for anyone, so it's easier (but very misleading) to quote the MAX power consumption.

The (now old) argument was that on average a plasma isn't that much more consumptive than an LCD (which is running at max all the time). However these new generation ones that turn their backlights off take the game back to LCD.

Me, I'd have the top end Kuro ANY day of the week.

Prolific worm infects 3.5m Windows PCs

@billy no mates

I'm going to have to assume that your moniker and description of 'why it won't happen to linux' was written as a mockery of linux. i.e. I use linux so I'm a 'billy no mates', and it won't happen to linux because you have to go through all this crap just to get from a to b, and because lots of people are lazy they just won't bother. Perfect security - make doing things so long/boring that nobody will do it.

If it is a mockery, I salute your efforts. If it wasn't then you are the new linux poster boy, the one we can laugh at.

Apple prices MacBook Pro battery surgery

Ripoff!

Apple at it again...blah blah blah....my N95 has a user replaceable battery...blah blah blah

Oh yeah, that's right - I don't care.

Next please.

Palm Pré WebOS: hardware hands-on

The dock

I'm loving the dock and the inductive power thing. The more we see that type of thing the better.

Wireless HDTV set for 2009

@you missed the EX!

That only does 1080i.

Power?

Until they invent a wireless power supply for the telly I'm not interested. If you have to have even just one cable going to the telly, then wireless is pointless in my view.

Nokia N97 touchscreen webphone demo'd

Good luck with that Nokia

You'll need it.

Apple iTunes Store goes '100% DRM-free' - allegedly

@adnim

I was waiting for a freetard to pipe up. Don't you get bored spouting your 'leeching middlemen/record labels' yawn fest? You rebel you.

iTunes Plus Plus?

Hopefully they'll introduce Apple Lossless downloads as the next step. That would be sweet.

iPlayer finally makes friendly with Mac and Linux

@Gerry

Oh dear. Someone took my pisstake seriously,

AIR? Ewww

So now they're not just in bed with Microsoft: it's a threesome, with Adobe too.

I mean that's not very open or free is it. Everything should be free, open, and free. Don't forget open. Very important.

You know, until everything is free, open and free, I will boycott everything.

It is very important you know.

LG DVS450H 'floating' DVD player

@Blather

Wow. Like Totally Wow. You've seen 'every other' DVD player on the market in order to make this 'they're all the same' statement?. That's either impressive or sad, I can't decide.

Either that or your making a completely inaccurate sweeping generalisation.

I wonder which it is.

2008's top three touchscreen phones

My N95....

Ah, I fondly remember the days on the comments section when it was 'My N95 can do this, My N95 can do that..Nah Nah Nah'. Life was much simpler then.

I just bought a new phone. Not an iPhone, no not even an N95. Instead just a plain phone - Nokia 6500 Classic. I turned off 3G, MMS, everything when I got it. Now it's _just_ a phone. And thats just f*kin great.

FBI recruits former Lehman Brothers IT exec

@James Woods

"It only makes sense to reel in failed corporate executives"

Yes yes, the failure of Lehmans was all down to this IT exec. Yes yes, it's well documented all over the web. Therefore you are correct in saying he is a failure. Very correct.

Paris, 'cause even she couldn't make this causal link stick.

Native-Linux music player Amarok gets major overhaul

Wow, looks stunning

No really. Those Linux boys have got UI's all sown up. Yep. Awesome.

Shall I stop now or do you get the picture....

Indian court urged to 'ban Google Earth'

@Alan Esworthy

Yes yes, I to am for carrying-guns-on-my-person-just-in-case-there-is-a-terrorist-attack-near-me-and-just-in-case-the-professionals-piss-themselves-and-run-away-so-I-can-be-a-hero-and-shoot-them-terrorists-myself. Yes, definately a good reason for us all to carry guns. Will come in handy.

Sony Ericsson Xperia X1 Windows Mobile smartphone

@Levente Szileszky

You need to get out more. Breath some air - walk around a bit. It'll be OK.

Jobs not dead as Jesus Phone outsells CrackBerry

Get the rabies shots out....

....cause there are going to be some people frothing at the mouth in righteous indignation about this.

I'm looking at you Webby. Perhaps their success despite their 'documented' sh*tness means that everybody are just stupid sheeple? Or maybe it means you're just crying out in the dark. Alone.

Vista SP2 beta could land within next four weeks

You are all deluded

I personally have never had any problems with anything. This obviously means that everything is OK. Anybody saying otherwise is clearly deluded.

Also, anything I don't have a use for or don't like should never be made as that would be stupid. It is impossible that anyone else would have a use for it or like it.

(Sadly the people this satire is aimed at will simply not get it....)

Motorola's navel gazing Android delayed

They still make phones?

...and soon in combination with Android?

Epic Fail.

Apple MacBook

@Ashley Pomeroy

You are out of touch with modern society

Apple revamps MacBook as 13in MacBook Pro

@Touchpad and keyboard

If you look carefully at the video on the apple site, the 'click' isn't achieved by a tap, it's an actual 'click'. The touchpad physically depresses with (click) pressure. Don't know how that will be to use in real life, but hopefully it'll be better than the shit 'tap' some systems employ.

Apple bans App Store heartbreak chatter

This IS shit isn't it....

Just too much puffed up self importance from Apple for my liking. All I can assume is that they've rejected these apps as they have the exact same functionality due in their next release, and don't want the competition.

But swinging to Android, jeez, could they make the interface look more amateur? I mean Google are hardly paragons of HCI, but really. Looks utterly awkward.

Should suit the target market perfectly then.

Apple revamps iPod line-up

The problem with any touch screen...

...is that it all becomes about software. As the interface is all software driven, your hardware is a just a screen and a case - thats it.

Things is, how many times can Apple fiddle with the screen and case to make people want to buy a new version. Or will the next touch come out with rainbow coloured backs etc.....

Maybe this is why Apple are charging for the 2.1 update ($10US?). Perhaps they realise that the impetus to change hardware with the new touch interfaces will diminish, and that software is where the money will be.

Apple channels Pandora with iTunes 8

Genius privacy?

This is from the 'learn more' page about Genius (before you turn it on):

"The information sent to Apple includes details about the media in your iTunes library such as track names, play counts, and ratings. This information will be stored with an anonymous Genius ID and not linked to your iTunes Account. When using the iTunes Store or Genius sidebar, Apple will also use your purchase history to give you better recommendations."

So, they anonymise your ID, and yet they look at your purchase history? If you're anonymous, how do they know whose purchase history to look up? Obviously Apple do link the two.

Whilst Apple know what I've purchased from them, I don't want to send them info about my other music (at least whilst they can link the two), so until there is a better understanding of what's going on with this I won't be turning it on. Tinfoil hats and all.

Big and bendy e-ink displays on way

Black flash

In many of he 'e-ink' style displays I've seen (including this one), when the display changes (i.e. change page), it flips all the balls to black before the new image/text is displayed. I hope you can optionally choose to flip to white as the black flash make me feel ill....

Or maybe they chose black as the white _actually_ makes you ill....

'World's largest TV' sports super HD resolution

@dervheid

"I'd be much more impressed if they managed to get that sort of resolution into a 'normal' (sub 48") screen"

sub 48"??? could you come up with a more arbitrary size? Well, OK, 47 and 15/16ths would be more arbitrary, but really.....

Ofcom considers termination charges

Paying to receive calls?

Not on your f*cking nelly!

Oh wait - I don't live in the UK.

You may proceed.

Google stretching underwater comms cable?

Guam?

Obviously a jumping off point for the future....

Or a now not so secret location for Googles new super-anti/villains hideaway?

Apple goes auntie over slasher comic

If the iPhone was the only market

...to deliver to then this would be a bad thing. But it's not. Windows Mobile, Symbian, Android anyone?

Why are people getting all upset about the treatment of iPhone apps? Apple have rules and can apply judgements how they see fit. If you don't like it, leave. Can it be more simple? No. Take your (no doubt open-saucy) moral indignation somewhere else.

UK etailer punts bovine coitus thumb drive

Typical

People whining about free stuff.

Emotional distress. Quite.

Just typical.

US made to wait for Quantum of Solace

Same day release at cinema and physical media

Yes, if they do this they'll _definately_ see an uptake of people going to the cinema (rolleyes). I'm sure the cinema owners are _all_ for it.

I still go to the movies for the 'important' films - the ones that need to be seen 'big'. Our local cinemas are brand spankers, digital (incl 3D) - the lot. In fact my local has the honour of the biggest 35mm screen world (30.67m x 13m). Up on the comfy leather recliners getting served dinner and a beer during the film, it's not too shabby. Definately an 'experience'.

The rest of the time I'm patient enough to wait till it turns up at my local rental so I can watch it on my 50".

Why are people so caught up on seeing things 'first'? Slow down a bit and you might enjoy life a bit more (and no I'm not some old bugger).

gOS - a Google good OS for your Mum

@Colin Wilson

"It looks very nice, but the lack of configurability put me off - perhaps if they could introduce a "normal" and "admin" settings toggle to hide the more advanced features from regular users, it would encourage take-up."

People who want 'admin' levels + configurablility aren't the target market.

Apple faithful snared in phishing scam targeting Mac.com users

Firefox!

Firefox couldn't pick up the scam? FIREFOX!!!!

I don't believe it. Impossible. Firefox is the saviour of all mankind. You are spreading salacious rumours here.

Stop it. Just stop it.

PS3 DVR add-on launch delayed

@Don't get it

"Am I missing something?"

Yes

You are missing the rest of the world.

In lil' old NZ for example this will make the PS3 one of the few PVRs in the world (yes world) that can record DVB-T Mpeg4 HD broadcasts. This is totally irrelevant to you in the UK as such broadcasts don't exist - making the PlayTV a bit pointless as you suggest. But where this 'new' broadcast tech exists, it's a godsend (I think some of the scandi countries also use this).

Oh, and um, it means I get a DVD player, BluRay player, music/video server, PVR etc all in one box, with ONE remote. Win Win Win. Oh and it plays games, but you can't have everything I guess.