* Posts by LeBeourfCurtaine

43 posts • joined 6 Mar 2008

It's official: Apple will reveal 'a little more' on October 23

Paris Hilton


So, come on let’s have a look at it,

come along now let’s have a sniff of it,

come along now let’s have a little bit,

come along now let’s have a little bit,

come along now let’s have a little bit more.

Paris: because recursion inspired innovation rules!

Pastafarians: Get your noodly appendages off that Facebook suspect



Reg hack attempts gutsiest expenses claim EVER


Bistro mathematics

An example of Bistro mathematics perhaps? Invented by Douglas Adams to traverse the universe faster than anything else before, it might explain how the Reg lunch party ended up paying the bill in Spain...?

So, what IS the worst film ever made?


The Room

There is no alternative. End of.

Samsung, Google whip out Android 4.0 Nexus

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Paris Hilton

The fickle dictats of fashion

Where digital cameras are concerned, the number of mega pixels isn't as important as you might think. A 10mp camera might sound fantastic, but depending on the optical chip used, the image quality could be worse than a 5mp camera. The ability to deal with low light levels is very important; I had a Nokia 5800 with a dual LED flash that resulted in grainier, lower quality images than my current Samsung Galaxy S without a flash.

I recall reading in the tech press and various reviews that the iPhone cameras have never been regarded as having a particularly high quality image output, so 8mp versus another manufacturer's 5mp offering might not be indicative of anything other than a perceived improvement.

As for video, watching Venture Brothers whilst on the train has been a welcome diversion! If only battery technology could keep up the pace :o(

Paris - because style matters, dangit!!

Biker gang plunders Covent Garden Apple Store


Hot pursuit

There's a suspicion in some parts that the remaining miscreants out on the lamb will be hunted down by a pack of Hell Hounds, courtesy of a recently deceased Captain of Industry...

Samsung shifts 10 millionth Galaxy SII

Paris Hilton

Lies, damn lies and statistics

"Ten million is an impressive number, though some way off the iPhone's 75 million or so."

Is this a case of comparing apples with oranges, or rather holding up an entire product history of one product line against a single model? It's unclear whether that's 75 million iPhone 4's or every iPhone since the very first Jobsian conception?

Paris, because this house may be made of wax...

Sony to spill PSP 2 beans this month


What he said

....although we're still waiting for PS2 emulation to be switched back on on't PS3....

T-Mobile imposes swingeing cuts on fair use data limits

Paris Hilton


As a customer for 3 and a half years I was pleasantly surprised when I was offered a good package and a free upgrade to a shiny new smartphone, especially the 3GB limit which I was assured 'isn't billed for if you go over'. Signed up to it at then end of last year and am still waiting for the 'phone to be delivered!! This latest news from the provinces is not welcome >:o(

Now might be time to jump ship me hearties...

Paris - for the shame of it all.

Blu-ray barely better than DVD


Was it...

...Derek Jarman's Blue?



"What a heroically in-depth and informative article, the end-result is simply breathtaking!"

...is how I wouldn't describe this piece. Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's the cold that is ravaging my corporeal being and robbing me of the gifts of taste and smell, but I'm not sated. It's not Friday afternoon either :o(

Clive Sinclair unveils 'X-1' battery pedalo bubble-bike


The Dream of LaserDisc

LaserDisc was amazing at the time it came out. I was seriously considering buying one, but just as I could afford it DVD's came out and the rest is history...

(Now I'm on Blu-Ray - the last of the hard copy formats, perhaps?)

Fallout: New Vegas

Paris Hilton

IF it bothered you that much

...why not email the author? Being critical from behind the cloak of anonymity is like farting into a summer breeze.

Paris, because she'd inherit the lease on Tenpenny Towers.

PARIS unveils impressive box

Paris Hilton

Imagine my disappointment...

...when I click on a link entitled 'PARIS unveils impressive box', only to find Paris Hilton is nowhere to be seen!

Still, an article on a wooden box seems a fitting epitaph for Paris' film career so far. In more ways than one.

Paris, for the shame of it all.

All CO2-spewing kit now in existence is OK for the planet

Paris Hilton

I've seen the future...

...and OMG it's the piss-poor Demolition Man variety of Sinclair C5 derived electric safety buckets!! Hydrogen fuelled cars would have been much more fun :(

Oh and as noted by many others, EPIC FAIL on the lack of attention paid to the graph's units.

Paris, because only she can save us now.

Bye-bye to bizarro bye-laws, says UK.gov

IT Angle

Who watches the Watchmen?

"They has also been, as safety valve, the requirement that they be passed under specific empowering legislation, and be signed off by the relevant Secretary of State." - Up with this I will not put!

Making it easier to scrap outdated bye-laws without a drawn-out central review seems like common sense, but who's reviewing the creation of new bye-laws...? I'm with as2003, some oxbow lakes should remain for posterity.

Brits turn to web for World Cup action



Infamous PC retailer polls customers in run-up to World Cup and finds a majority watching online. Pass the crash trolley my heart's stopped at the shock outcome.

I must admit that I watched the opening came online today (via a 42" plasma, but, well, why slum it when you've got the kit), however given the lack of TV reception at work there was little choice.

I'm going for slow day at the office for the birth of this story :D

Firefox takes walk down 64-bit Windows street

Paris Hilton

True and yet...

...it doesn't alter the fact that 64-bit IE is awful. I'd happily use it for IE-specific sites if it was a fully-rounded browser, but the fact is that it's missing support for de facto web features. Pointless and does nothing but reinforce the view that 64-bit IE is an after-thought.

Paris, because MS just aren't trying.

Security bug bites 64-bit Windows 7



Why not just switch off the themes service until it's patched...?

US netwar-force Cyber Wings badge unveiled


Gerry Anderson would be proud

Captain Scarlett himself might covet such a majestic chest ornament...

Asus goes small on aluminium, big on Bamboo


Pics or it didn't happen

No pics = FAIL

Note to Captain Kirk: Warp speed will kill you



...why not just stick an 11m thick aluminium shield on the front of the spacecraft then? It's not exactly an uncommon metal. You could add an electromagmetic shield to it while you're at it and maybe some junk mail for good measure...

Sony unwraps 3D Blu-ray player pair...

Thumb Up

...in that case

The PS3 is getting 3D via a firmware update apparently, so if you're going the whole hog and buying a 3D compatible telly you could save a few £££'s there.

(See the end of this article: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/12/21/avatar_storage_effects/page2.html)

Sony to revamp movie classics for 3D era


Time this cash cow was tied into another fad

Namely carbon-credit-crunch-footprint-recycling schemes! As pointed out, each time the latest 'innovation' in viewing pleasure is touted in the age-old quest for cash (a.k.a. new money for old rope), the distributors should be forced to employ an exchange system for your old media (vhs, laserdisc, dvd, blu-ray, and so on), at minimal cost, given that you've already paid for the 'license'. PC makers have to offer disposal of old kit so the same should apply to physical media and the devices that they're played on. Organisations such as the MPAA seemingly want to have their cake an eat it, so let's ally ourselves in another cause for the greater good and fight obesity as well!

Cynicism as social baton?

Steve Jobs uncloaks the 'iPad'



Yes, it's name conjures images of sanitary towels and hence must be aimed at those of us of a menstruating disposition....

Toshiba unwraps Blu-ray player


World's longest pride swallowing competition ends

Isn't it nice to see everyone getting along together?

Channel 4 to go 3D



...didn't Channel 4 broadcast in 3D when they started up? The recollection is a bit fuzzy as I was still in single figures at the time.

Microsoft ditches Windows 7 E plans



I realise that this is vapourware, but that screenshot appears to show the ballot in IE. Going on past experience of Windoze, with IE shipping on the PC it somewhat implies that it will remain albeit hidden. Ballot via Windows Update would be the only compliant option would it not?

LG Germany cock-up uncovers Viewty successor

Paris Hilton

Guess the name competition

I'm going for 'Viewty Tooty'. Any takers?

Paris - because a phone without a name is a crime against socialitism.

Sony demos ultra-expensive, ultra-thin OLED telly

Paris Hilton

Little evidence...

...of it's alleged superior motion performance - to back up this claim the demonstrator shows footage of a woman eating and a series of static images. Does this explain Sony's PS3 sales strategy, perchance?

Paris, because even though she may not understand it, she might be able to afford it.

Register Hardware revamped

Paris Hilton

Is it me...

...or has the logo changed since this morning? I was successful in fishing for booze *hic* money, natch.

Paris, because it's a time to reflect on all the *hic* partying.


How very Black and Decker

Well, at least you've finally put on a link back to the El Reg front page.

Rifling through your pockets for Chrimbo booze money.

Next Windows name unveiled: Windows 7

Paris Hilton

A tad cynical perhaps...

...but has no-one noticed 'Windows 7' fits snugly with 'Core i7'? No?

Paris, because there has to be some hope left for the world somewhere.

OMFG, what have you done?

Thumb Down



Easier to get back to the main stories from sub-sections (Halloooo Hardware).

More stuff packed in.


In this age of widescreen monitors, you choose a fixed-width? Could've bucked the trend and gone for horizontal scrolling on the front page...

The Header image looks like a local newspaper's attempt at emulating the red-top gutter press.

The icons look like they were designed by an out of work primary school teacher.

Change usually turns out to be a good thing, but the site looks like the bastard lovechild of DailyTech and The Inquirer. Was it designed by committee?

Otto Z. Stern possibly dead at 57


Ramming speed

Let's hope he's planning to ram Hilary Swank's expedition to the core - food source identified.

Sat nav blunder places The Rock in Skegness


@Tim - Equally high hopes here

Still, the lack of news reports outlining the destruction of Skeggy by the Scorpion King should have been a big clue :o/

Granite Jesus, blessed be thy gneiss

Gates Halo

Well hung

I concur - not so much the divine hand of providence, as a giant pairing of cock and balls.

Bill, as he starts out on his second life...

Panasonic parent makes 30in OLED TV play

Paris Hilton

Screw OLED monitors...

...I just want a cortical shunt!

Paris, because this bandwagon's flogged the horses beyond death.

Komplett closes retail ops across Europe


Best days behind it

I recall that 2 years ago Komplett was untouchable on price, but I've noticed in the last couple of weeks that even trailblazing sites such as overclockers were cheaper. Rest In Pieces.

Motorised meat-smoker droid vigilante patrols Atlanta


Pray for lube

The 'Bum Bot' has a rather more sinister - nay terrifying - meaning over here in Blighty! Unless, perhaps, you have a Judy Garland fixation...

Mine's the engraving of a Bum Bot mechanic (Men at Work).

Boffins develop '500TB iPod' storage tech

Jobs Horns

Borrowing from Arthur C Clarke...

Perhaps in 20 years time 500TB will be enough space to store Steve Jobs' digitally recorded personality alongside 8GB of MP3s? Give it another 20 years and you might just be able to slip in some ego as well...

DAB: A very British failure


British Leyland styling

Aside from the bemusingly high price - despite DAB having been around for yonks - I'm put off by the appallingly awful look of, ah hell, every DAB radio I've encountered so far. Who, aside from the most ardent Next acolyte, wants a beech effect box sitting pride of place in their living room? ...with one speaker as standard?! What is that all about? Fortunately, I have the internet and *cough* Sky access to digital radio. Now what did I come in here for....?

Oh, um, image chosen as "searching for Data's off-switch".


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