Posts by Jay Cooper

Bulletstorm

Lolz @ Sir Wiggum

The Jury is out because it's not set in a contemporary setting? The Jury is back in with thier decision about your commetns and have decided you are a plank.

Gaming is all about innovation and fun and having played the BETA for this I can assure you, it is absolutley brilliant. Set in the future or not, if a game sucks, it properly sucks. This is back to basics, good old fashined blasting. Remember the beserker power up in DOOM II? That massive smile you'd get at knwoing you were going to kick some serious arse? Thats this game through and through.

Briliant.

Ten Essential... iPhone Games

Bejewlled

It's just awesome. Blitz is one minute of amazing fun and gets so damn competitive.

ASA slaps beer-punting ladyboy

@presumptuous

Daily Mail readers then surely.

Asus launches 'world's fastest' smartphone

Even my mum wouldn't be seen dead with that

It's just that fugly. Sack the design department.

Vodafone prices up first touchscreen BlackBerry

iPhone is shit anyway

Crackberry all the way. Actually, I think they are both shit. Give me a nokia 3510 anyday.

I'm very sorry, says gay health warning clergyman

Well.....

Personally can't see what the problem is. If I'm going to sleep with a man I'd like to know if he was gay or not. Euw, gay men. Not my cup of tea. Now give me a straight one any day of the week. Just don't tell the wife.....

Paris, as even she's got more sense than to make idiotic plank boy comments like that.

Dell launches monster quad-core notebook

Is it sad that.............

I feel mildly turned on by this?

Sainsbury's punts 'Innocent kids juices' for £2.99

@ Mike Groombridge

For a comment on grammar you may just wanted to have proof read your post.......Capital letters are a godsend in the English language.

Email hacker banged up for exposing boss's sex life

@ John Sanders

Of course people send sex messages! How else do chat to the fit receptionist you fancy having a bit with when you are supposed to be working. Although i don't obviously. WOuldn't dream of it.

Now how do I erase these emails?

How government will save you from P2P deviance

Encrypted Torrent Exchanges

So.....if ssl encryption is sued by the torrent exchange in question, can these monkeys still track us......I mean me, I mean, oh, crap......Ok. Can thay still determine who's "thieving" this content?

And are we scared of a Government that can't even keep it's strongest constituencies? (Goodbye Glasgow East....lol!)

Google's spycar revs up UK privacy fears

How do you define consent to have your image taken?

I once got caught shagging by the CCTV cameras in the cashpoint lobby of my local HSBC. Apparently as I was on their property I couldn't do anything about it. They wouldn't even give me a copy of the tape to show my mates.....bastards.

David Davis tells El Reg that Labour is 'mesmerised' by tech

Anyone want to join my class action lawsuit?

For breach of privacy when I caught on CCTV without my express permission? Obvioulsy my actions waive the neccessity for permission in certain instances like when i walk in a bank. Reckon "so good they named him twice" Davis would support me?

Like fuck. I'm leaving this dump of an Island. Anyone care to follow? Oh, will the last one out please unplug my phone charger?

Civil Liberties are dead........................

The Moderatrix will see you now

What do I do!!!!!!

Moderatrix,

I am due to be getting married in September. Back in the day, I was a regular ladies man, and had a massive issue with fidelity. In fact, my wife to be is the only relationship I’ve had where I have been faithful (hookers don’t count, and neither do one night stands in other countries). This week though I have been Facebooked by no less than four ex girlfriends, all of which want to meet up in order to “catch up”. I know for a fact that catching up involves dipping my wick in their candle holder. This presents me with quite a dilemma.

Anyway, my question to you is, should I stick with Windows XP on my gaming rig or upgrade to Vista?

Thanks in advance for your response.

Who will be the next Doctor?

My money is on....................

Tennant. But it would be nice to be surprised. I'd much rather see an English man in the role. Some one like Keanu Reeves or Kevin Costner. You know, people that really represent England......................

Quantum of Solace trailer teases fans

@ Richard and Adam Foxton - Oh shut up!!!!

Pretty sure Craig is Bond. I seem to remember him being cast as Bond and his character being reffered to as Bond the whole way through Casino Royale. What do you want? Connery back? Sorry, but Craig IS Bond. Re-invented maybe, but it was needed after the debacle that Brosnan put us through before although i hasten to add it wasn't he who wrote and directed it, he still agreed to be in it.....Euch!

I for one thought CR was awesome and truimph much needed from the franchise. Can't wait for this one. The ladies alone are getting me a bit stic......sorry. I'll stop now.......

Telegraph falls to the Tw*t-O-Tron

18 months and my sentance is over

And I can finally get out of this downtrodden, limp dicked, always raining, constantly whining, imigrant infested, chav hugging, staffie shooting, Optimus Prime martyring, Daily Mail buying cuntry.

I can't wait. I won't be back until we build a wall round Wales and dump all the chav's over the top.

Actually, it's not the Chavs or the Staffies that are making me leave. The real threat to humanity and rationalisation as we know it surely the Daily Mail.

Grand Theft Auto reportedly inspires teen rampage

Hmmmmm, I wonder if................

Dip shits like this are thinking "Hey! Everyone is talking about how video games kill kids brains, so lets go on a crime spree and blame a video game. That way the pricks that run our country will sympathise with us and blame the games industry instead and we'll get away scott free as we were the real victims....."

Any chance? Mmm? Mmm? Perhaps? Maybe? You know thats exactly it.

Paris, as she even she wouldn't believe this shit.......

North Carolina targets WTF licence plates

This has me

LMAO and ROFL! How FUBAR is that? What a bunch of SOC's!

Man accused of using LinkedIn to steal clients

Hmmmm, interesting

I'm a massive user of Linkedin. I find it to be a brilliant and invaluable resource. I consider it mine and not my companies and like this chap would fight tooth and nail to keep it. My network includes a lot of old customers. In my view it's no different to picking up a phone and speaking with them, and there is no law against that (at least not the last time I checked...........)

THe only thing I can think of which would even give Hays (who I have used before and they are shit....actually, beyond shit.....complete detrious of the worst kind) a leg to stand on is they were paying for their agent to use the premier package and not the free version. Then maybe, just maybe they'd be able to do something about it.

Handset sales drop for first time in mobe history

18 month minimums

The AC above has a good point. I wasn't allowed any decent phones if I dropped to a 12 month tariff with my supplier, so was forced into an 18 month contract as I'm sure many others are to get any sort of functionality from a handset at all.

Still, won't be long till we have them embedded in our flesh, then it's gonna be a pain in the arse to upgrade (although I'd like to think thats not where they'll be embedded.........)

Undercover teachers to track gang members online

Seriously?

What is up with this Govenrment? They really think that this is the way to go?

I used to be a doorman, and I quit because of little knife carrying hoodie thugs. It must be even worse being a teacher. This is really going to bridge that "trust" gap.............

Paris, as even she can come up with a better idea than this.

The economy: A big Arab did it and ran away, claims PM

@ Mike Crawshaw

Depends where you live.......I hear in Eastern Europe they are pretty cheap and decent.

And did Broon mention anything about Cheap and Decent whores? No. See, always skirting round the real issues.

Hidden card fraud taxes UK.biz

Chargebacks.....

As a merchant you can negate liability of chargebacks by enrolling in a 3D Secure program. This is Verified by Visa or MasterCard SecureCode. In the UK, France, Sweden, Finland etc, this means that liability for any fraudulent transactions lies with the card issuer, not the customer or the merchant. As long as the merchant is enrolled, they are are not liable.

Problem with this is that not enough awareness of 3D Secure has been given to the public. It does stop the small merchants from being targetted by gang and makes sure that anyone unfortunate enough to be a victim will get their money back.

Strange that the banks have promoted this more..........

O2 PR calls Reg readers 'techie nerds'

Gotta love em

Lets face it, it's not a shock that they identified you lot as geeks. You are. I omit myself from that brand as I'm one of the few cool and trendy people who uses this site. I'm not a geek. I'm not.....

Gotta go, mums just said my tea's ready and she can't carry it up the stairs now she's ninety.......

But in reality, I love PR cock ups. I'm with O2 and am gonna guilt trip them into an awesome deal come May. I would switch out of revulsion for their incompetence, but 3 are shite and the less said about Orange the better. I also used to work for Vodabone, so will never go there again.

Premium rate watchdog primes 'Miss Bimbo' probe

Well, it's one thing murdering people in a game, but another to encourage boobjobs.....

Isn't it? really? Am I wrong? I mean, can you imagine the queues of pre teens standing outside the chop shops on harley street this is going to cause?

US.gov disappears European-owned Cuba websites

What a bunch of planks

Everyone is entitled to thier own political and moral views, but when an English company and the internet is affected by ridiculous US Govenrment "shady" policy like this it's time to take a stand............................... Everyone point in the general direction of the US and laugh.