* Posts by james

36 publicly visible posts • joined 28 May 2008

Japanese lunar orbiter to go out with a bang



is it just me or do the worlds various space agencies seem to be run by McG of hollywood fame?

'theres a car... lets blow it up'

'theres a boat... lets blow that up'

'hey guys... i have this great idea for some shit we can blow up next...'

shame we cant shoot christian bale at the moon

'Air fuelled' battery tech invented in Scotland


@anonymous coward

you get the whole porous part of the carbon container right? as in lets through molecules of a certain size (oxygen) while keeping other molecules and combinations thereof (ie water) outside?

think it through

Paris Hilton

submarine shenanigans

why not use it in subs?

if the porous carbon is placed in water instead of open to the interior atmosphere of the sub it should work quite well. averages of oxygen in air and oxygen disolved in water are 20.9% and 14.6% by volume, the difference in performance could be made up by using a 'frilled' system much like a fishes gills to give maximum surface area contact with the surrounding water.

this would be safer than just sticking them in subs in 2 ways, submariners dont suffocate and no chance of explosion due to oxygen buildup (the oxygen being released directly to the ocean to dissolve once again in water)

paris - cause she KNOWS how to park a submarine

Taiwanese rat snake bites Taiwanese trouser snake

Paris Hilton

men in rubber suits...

reminds me of all those old japanese 'creature feature' movies

"trouser snake Vs toilet snake - in a thrilling battle to the death...guest starring godzilla and mothra"

wheres the icon for 'geeky old git'?

paris - cause she knows how to nibble on a trouser snake (assuming veracity of certain videos)

Windows 7: MS plays a Jedi mind trick on netbook owners



pack of greedy twats

i have a netbook and i have windows 7 loaded on it

it runs ultimate edition PERFECTLY

it can easily handle me plugging in my dual digital reciever and recording one channel while watching another while i download torrents (of linux naturally) and faff around reading emails or the register and keep and eye on messenger

they seriously gonna tell me im imagining that? my netbook cant really do all that and id be much happier with something thatll run 3 apps and no media? (antivirus and firewall, thats 2 apps down already cause who uses the microsoft ones? does that leave ONE app?)

they can bugger off - anyone know where i can buy a hugeassed pirate flag? actions like these make me wanna say stupid things like 'ahoy' and 'matey'

Brown finally wins something

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jolly good show

been there signed that

also signed this http://www.petitiononline.com/JC4PM/petition.html, alas it has the same odds of being fullfilled regardless of signitories

No FreeRunner follow-up, says OpenMoko

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what exactly was open-source about it?

i would have bought one in a heartbeat (and i know of at least ten others who were the same) but it lacked a camera

if they had listened to the people on their forum when still in the design stages they could have had a lot more sales and a more useful bit of kit, but they chose to ignore all suggestions by anyone not on their design team

so much for the ideal of 'open-source' hardware

Romanian police arrest Pentagon hack suspect

Black Helicopters


so gary mckinnon who did bugger all but have a little nosey and leave the occasional text file pointing out the systems insecurity caused $700,000 woth of damage, but some nefarious oik who actually infected systems and wiped logs only caused $35,000 damages?

scapegoat much?

or are they just afraid mckinnon discovered info on their evil lizard masters in skin suits?

Robo-fish to hunt pollution in Spanish seas

Black Helicopters


every time i see this 'fish' it reminds me of the evil guys submarine in stingray

Channel 4 fails to open archives to Mac, Linux fans



the TV license has nothing to do with channel4, it pays for the BBC no money is forwarded to any other channel which is why they all use advertising for funding.

anyhoo... mplayer and the wmp codecs (not entirely sure of the legality but bugger em i own several windows licenses and dont use half of them might as well get my moneys worth) play it fine in linux, all you really need is the firefox plugin that makes it masquerade as ie

Enormous pain-ray patio heater towers erected in California

Paris Hilton


wouldnt it have been a better plan to prove its effectivness if they tested it say... somewhere that actually gets cold during part of the year?

paris - cause even she wouldnt be THAT dumb

Dear Obama: Please consider open-source a waste of your time


Dear Ted...

you sir, are an asshat.

Good luck with the purchasing of a closed source operating system every 2 years or so to maintain security and compatability, I wil be simply updating my opensource OS to each new version free of charge. Hows that for reduced overall cost?

Commissioner pours scorn on internet freedom law


@anonymous coward

several states do in fact license online casinos and many more license online poker - god help you if you run an online anything in another country though, take your kids to disneyland and theyll go home with pics of you being banged up on some rico based charge

just take a look:



Black Helicopters



1. 'anti-censorship software' wouldnt that simply be illegally hacking the firewall of a sovereign state? garry mckinnon will be glad to hear thats not an offence and he can get cracking on snooping round nasas pcs for more alien evidence

2. the 'merkin idea of a free internet is to lock up anyone who competes with theyre corporations online (online betting/casinos anyone?) just how 'free' is that exactly?

i say screw em all and just use darknets

i for one have a problem with my BRITISH isp and BRITISH companies i use online being forced to hand over my private details to a foreign power or be arrested if they set foot on 'merkin soil which these days seems to include 99% of the world in their opinion - not that i have anything to hide - its simply none of theyre damned business, theyre do as i say not as i do attitude pisses me off.


dammit now i aint gonna enjoy my weekend

UK cops' road accident reporting going paperless

Paris Hilton


anyone with half an ounce of wit (ie, who knows default passwords for the system theyll use or what pub any careless officer drinks in) will be able to wipe their speeding record then? sweet.

paris - cause shes probably the only thing thats easier to breech than a gov it system

Prof: 'Taser-proof vests put cops in danger'


fascist bastards deserve a good electrical prodding

soooo..... its fine for the cops to kill numerous folks and electrify the shit out of young children, pregnant teenagers, cats stuck in trees and wheelchair bound crippled old folk (all have been done numerous times now) for no other reason than to see who can get the best youtube video, but the moment someone thinks of a way to stand up and say 'hey if i make it ineffective then maybe youll stop being a twat with a license to torture' (geneva convention folks - electricity as a form of illegal torture) the cops all throw their toys outta the pram and start crying and everyone is supposed to feel sad for them?

i have another idea - a jury of 12 civilian peers to judge EVERY police use of a taser. when it is deemed unnecessary the cop gets a taser charge directly to the balls for the same duration/number of times as the person they zapped - i guarantee you theyd only ever use them in the circumstances they were intended for.

Senators push for restrictions on laptop searches

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yeah its just for the merkins, you'd think they might have added that as its kind of relevant and imortant.

if we treated one of them like that at an airport in good ole blighty they'd be spitting dummies right across the atlantic and threatening to bomb us all as terrorists - bloody fascists.

Acer raises UK prices



we get charged x2 the price for the damned things already, there is no balance between the dollar and pound prices, they simply replace the $ sign with the £ sign.

PC Gamers get Bill of Rights



"Fair enough, but shouldn’t a PC gamer know their machine’s specifications and then match these up to the system requirements listed on the game’s box?"

you mean like when i bought battlefield 2142? where i made sure that my machine surpassed all recommended specs? including the internet speeds?

game still wouldnt work, due to the crap online drm used by EA. took 3 weeks of arguing to get my cash back, but i guess that was my fault huh?

you spout that crap like the gamer is the one at fault, let me ask you this: when was the last time you saw a pc game released which wasnt broken or unplayable due to multiple bugs? 99% of modern games are rushed so badly that you have to wat 2-3 months after release to get a fully working version after several patches - if - IF - it even works then.

none of which is helped by stupidly ported console games which seem to be the latest fad, heads up game developer peoples - THEY DONT BLOODY WORK.

Arctic ice refuses to melt as ordered


oooh all scientific like

im sure you took into consideration that warmer temperatures will result in thinner ice, so that while the coverage could be the same (or even greater) it will be a lot thinner meaning LESS ice?

knowing that you are a respectalbe journo in a top notch publication and would never slap a half finished story on the desk to get out early on a high note of hysteria i will assume that it was an accidental omission and in no way brought about by a desire to sex it up.

Lies, damned lies and government statistics


nuff said


wish we had more like them



so the reduction in deaths and serious injuries has absolutely zero correlation with advances in vehicular safety devices, i would suggest that the 800 and some less occurances after taking rtm into account is actually due to safer cars.

Wind farm wound down on air traffic fears



civilian radar is notoriously crap at spotting low level craft anyway - read as "can't" (and some would say our military gear is just as bad and in some cases worse...)

just out of curiosity - when did they start building wind turbines several hundred feet tall?

The Beijing Bonanza



because information should be easily (and cheaply) available for all? just like those nice german hackers demonstrated to the chinese authorites with their firewall tweaking humour.

seriously how hard was that?

Why flying cars are better than electric ones



2km minimum safe distance is for large commercial jets (which have a turning circle of about the same) safe distance for light aircraft is a few hundred feet going down to a few dozen feet when you get to micro & ultralight craft.

speed, size and turning circle all play parts, if the craft is small enough and not overly quick it will be maneuverable and have a much shorter minimum safe distance relevent to similar or slow moving craft.

as for 'how are they going to land and merge with traffic' thats easy, short runway at the side of the road with a feeder lane, just like you see on motorways feeding onto access routes....you know what im talking about, those places where all that fast moving traffic merges with much slower moving traffic.

El Reg nails Street View spycars to Google Maps



I'll gladly jump up and down infront of one with a 5ftx5ft reg logo if they'll provide a tshirt and mug combo for it ;-)

Prius hybrid to get rooftop solar panel


@the prius owner

sorry but i have my doubts (even though i used to own a VW polo that consistantly got 45+ mpg)

you might wanna watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PP6fe6i1vaY



cause he proved a BMW M3 was more environmentally friendly than a prius - top marks that man

Bon-viveur boffin: Biomimetic bird, bat & bug bots are b*llocks

Black Helicopters


the artical is deceptive as it suggests that the bots are all being based around 'flapping' wings, this is not the case.

the majority of practical solutions are based around how birds/bats change their wing shape allowing tighter turns, better low speed lift and better aerodynamics at speed whist retaining conventional propulsion (propellor/jet).

nary a flap in sight.

Swedish customs pull Frenchman with two asses

Thumb Up

well saved

"unless he was able to produce biometric passports for the shifty-looking beasts of burden."

and that folks is how you successfully add an IT angle to an otherwise daft story

French gear up for biofuels retreat


republicanism indeed....

America, contrary to popular belief, is not a democracy but a republic.

look where that got them the poor buggers.

what we need is a return to a proper monarchy, first thing on the agenda..... "hey gordo me old mate, off with your bloody head"

San Franciscans prep monument to US prez



i think you mean "sur rendre"

which is 'report on' or 'to report on'

no "se" in french btw (oh noes attack of the mexican french peoples) - your last name bush at all? just curious as your either lying through your teeth thinking your actually telling the truth or just dumb as a rock, either would suggest a relation as each duirectly corrolates with the other ;-)

USAF ramps up kill-bot fleet following Gates sackings

Black Helicopters

pilots are asses

more than a few years ago i was RAF groundcrew (aviation technician - mechanical, dontcha know) and on fast rotations we would hover the helis a few inches off the ground and slide them into the hangers and around inside the hangers to get where we needed to park them for working (quicker on most but especially for lynx and griffins, since they have no wheels you cant taxi them), usually having around 5 feet of clearance above and around the blades on entry, to us it was no big deal we were all qualified to pilot rotary winged aircraft and light to medium prop craft.

the pilots got wind of this and because they didnt believe it was possible came down to watch - they nearly shit themselves good and proper, not one had the balls to attempt it themselves and formal complaints were lodged (which were later thrown out) not for it being risky but because 'unqualified' aircrew were repeatedly taking liberties by flying the pilots shiney toys.

tossers - every one of us could fly rings around them and they knew it, the complaints were thrown out because like it or not we were qualified to fly regardless of their bruised ego posturing.

stick them all in little boxes and make em fly drones i say, teach them that theyre there to fly and save lives not to bloody pose

Boffins: Roadrunner hypercomputer could drive a car



skynet is actually already fully operational


Navy sonar dolphin 'massacre' - the facts



"The Ministry of Defence admitted it had been conducting exercises involving surface ships and submarines in Falmouth Bay" when both types of vessel are involved you can be damned sure that they will be using active sonar of all frequencies to find the target subs.

as for the 'no live fire' thats hogwash, people who live along the coast in the area heard explosions (probably due to a mine based excersize or large caliber guns firing)

the navy originally denied even being in the area at all, so can you trust them on any other point?

"no we werent there, oh maybe we were but we didnt fire anything honest.... well maybe just a few rounds.... and a mine or two but those dont really count right?"

btw you need to do a bit more research before you put the word 'fact' in the title of a facetious column, active sonar of both low and high frequency has been shown to damage cetetian hearing, causing massive damage to their inner ears (simple google search would have provided you info on that) and besides do you really believe that sonar has stayed the same since the 30's? seriously like it hasnt increased in power and changed in frequency multiple times? catch a grip.

i like my tuna sarnies as much as the next guy and dont really care that flipper gets stiffed for me to eat a tastey sandwich (dolphins are evil little buggers regardless of their good pr - watch vids of them torturing porpoise and youll be glad they beached) but i disagree with people pushing their own biased belief as fact.

mines the one with the objective reality

Attack code in the wild targets new (sort of) Adobe Flash vuln

Black Helicopters

@the anon coward

why waste time, processor use and disk space for a slower experience? just use a sandbox app

hell just look for sandboxie (its free which is also a plus)

(black helicopter because i know im gonna get taken away for suggesting a simple and effective solution over a bloated unnecessary one - anathema to most IT folks)