Posts by Secretgeek

Council clamps down on 'man on the street'

I think you'll probably find...

..that Mr Colpoly's HAS heard of concetration camps and probably thinks that they they have their uses when dealing with ne'er-do-wells.

Oh and to everyone winging and bitching about how they're just words and wondering what the problem is I suggest you find the nearest big black guy, engage him in conversation and see how many times you can drop the word 'coon' into the discussion before you end up eating your own testicles.

Languages change for a reason, a conscious society recognises the inequalities in it and changes accordingly.

Anatomy of a malware scam

'All your credit card detail are belong to us.'

Can't believe no-one's said that already.

Great article by the way.

Coat please!

Cops cuff anti-drug ninja vigilantes

Sad, sad , sad.

Is it just me or is the mental image of two grown men in full ninja costume with a massively under-inflated sense of their own mortality pootling along in a Ford Mondeo, surreal, depressing and funny all at the same time.

There has to be a scene from a film there. Anyone?

Paris because hopefully the ninja outfit would muffle her voice.

El Reg salutes ultimate shed anthem

Fantastic.

Keep my coat, I've got a shed.

Council IT provider's staff exposed back-room operations

Just turn it on again.

Yep, that's me done.

Bush makes last-minute grab for civil liberties

As an aside to all this reasoned debate.

"...quite literally, help frontline officers to connect the dots."

'Quite literally'?

I figured out dot-to-dot puzzles shortly after I learnt to count (before then everything looked like the Flying Spaghetti Monster). If US security require a humongous database with a gatriliion Hz of processing power simply to help do a childs puzzle then the security of it's borders is probably the least of its worries.

Boeing gets new raygun-on-a-lorry contract

@@Onto the future.

'It's cheaper to launch a small interceptor rocket than it is to put a massive nuclear reactor laser satellite into orbit.'

Very true, but it's a lot less cool.

Come on, 'massive nuclear reactor laser satellite'? Who DOESN'T want one of those?

Cloud computing lets Feds read your email

@ChessGeek

You pretty much nailed what I wanted to say there.

Remind me not to email my lawyers, or my therapist, or my doctor, or my secret cabinet minister lover Jack Eesmif.

Mines the one with the etched wax tablets in the pockets.

But of course the courier is a third party too. Bugger.

Philippine troops battle rampaging MILFs

Makes me think of...

... when I was a teenager and my mates mum except that she's 50 foot tall and battling Phillipine soldiers and tanks - 'Noo, Mrs Baker stay away from the power lines!'

Or was that just a dream I had once?

Mines the one with the picture of my mates mum in the pocket.

'Why not try nude female midgets?' says Microsoft Adcenter

“vn b m gn mbnmncbm xbc bcv 0 vfkmjirhtfnkj nb b x bmnx bv”

I think you'll find that was amanfromMars' last search.

BOFH: Burying the hatchet

Just wanted to point out...

...the unfortunate positioning of the 'Vodafone Exec Stabbed...' story, just above 'BOFH - Burying the hatchet'

Ouch.

UK.gov to spend hundreds of millions on snooping silo

It's been said elsewhere.

But is relevant here too:

'If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.'

Mine's the one with the tickets to Canada in it.

UK.gov misses deadline on EU Phorm probe

Should that be?

'It requests answers on how and why the UK government has acted over both the secret trials of Phorm in 2006 and 2007'

Or more importantly, how and why the UK government HASN'T acted over both the secret trials.

@ @RIPA

Q - 'Quite why the ISPs want to annoy and alienate their customers by changing their role from passive data conduit to active data interceptor is something only the ISPs can answer.'

A - Cash.

Joint Committee gets it (mainly) wrong on human rights

The limits of power.

It seems to me that what is happening is a separation into two issues of something that should only be one.

The rights of the individual and the limits of government power are being split with the diluted limits of government getting the upper hand. So you can quite happily say that the individual has the right to a trial by law but if you then remove governments need to comply with their half of that agreement then the right is effectively not worth the paper it's written on.

I have a right to freedom of expression (within the limits of the rights of others e.g. I can't just kill people and say I'm expressing myself of course) but the government has the right to create legislation that restricts that expression in any way they see fit (or gets good headlines). Again what exactly is my right now worth? Nothing.

A right should be both a means of granting freedom and granting limits, to the individual and the government respectively. Anything other than that is merely food for the sharks, sorry, lawyers.

Carbon Trust: Rooftop windmills are eco own-goal

Micro-gen DOES work!!!

A relative of mine had no connection to the grid for a whole year, his only source of power was a 6 foot turbine and this was more than adequate for him and his family's electricity requirements. So there, it does work, have it!

Admittedly, he was living in a caravan in a field in the country at the time so in fairness his leccy requirements were almost nil.

But apart from that.....

Killer Satnavs amok in 'Utah Polyhedron' phenomenon

@Kain preacher

Is that a threat?

Time for coat obviously.

Sovereign immunity blocks DMCA suit against Air Force

Bring on the freebies.

So the entire US Government can become massive freetards with the added advantage that they have the resources to set people to task cracking any piece of software they take a fancy to, while the rest of the freetard world has to wait for some civic minded hacker before they can download it from p2p sites?

Hmm...not exactly setting the best of examples are they?

Doh! What am I saying? This is the US Gov we're talking about.

Gimme the freestuff.

419ers crank up the menaces

Ha haha haha ha ha..

'send you to death'?

I've read about Death. Nice guy, penchant for black, rides a horse called Binky.

Quality. Unfortunately, my overdraft won't stretch to $3000 usd so I'll have to spend the next 10 days looking over my shoulder for my would be assas......

Damn, I hope I got that joke in first.

Mines the one with the giant target on it.

Nike pulls Air Stab trainers

Air Stab?

Is that like air guitar?

Coat please.

HMRC disc losers still getting paid

@ 're: El Reg, grow up'

The point I think you're missing here is that a manager, theorietically at least) shouldn't have to oversee every single operation of the area. What they should do is install, embed and if necessary impose a culture where data protection concerns are understood and accounted for. If that didn't happen then the manager has failed and should be held accountable.

Of course if the manager failed because senior management couldn't give a toss about data protection either then they should go too along with the junior numpty that sent the discs in the first place.

It's not acceptable to say 'Well management can't control everything.' in any area of management. That's when you get things like Potters Bar.

MoD in £1.75m rush order for SAS backpack radars

Couldn't they have just gone with BLER?

Hmm...maybe not.

Still looks like an incredibly useful piece of kit. Detecting a crawling man at 1.5K? Impressive, very impressive.

Rig a network of them to one of the gunbots they're working on and there'll be no sneaking up on our 7.62mm armed robotic masters then!

Sony PS3 movie downloads are go

As much as I like my Xbox...

The list of movies it currently has is pretty crap really and I wonder with 300+ movies whether initially PS will be any better though it's studio line up looks strong. Remember there are an AWFUL lot of crappy movies that Hollywood execs are desperate to see any kind of return on even if it's a few thousand people renting it out of curiosity.

I'm interested to see what Netflix will bring to the party though from what I've heard it'll not be much better in the way of quality.

BT breaks up families

@ Aristotle

Did you notice that they cut the clip of him giving the blonde the eye in the record store (because it implied that with his funky new mobile browsing he could nip off for a shag with a random stranger whilst also booking his missus a holiday)? Odd really, seems like an actual benefit that would appeal to people looking for some extra marital action.

Oh god, I've just realised how sad the fact that I noticed AND the fact I've commented on it makes me.

Coat please.

Court advisor says poem list infringed database right

1000 top poems in German

Come on people, how much money were they really going to make from this? If they somehow managed to sell a thousand in 5 years I'd be surprised.

Mine's the one that says 'uncultured oaf' on the back.

Obama bloats Vista by 11MB

@AC 'Space, the final frontier'

Slightly off topic. I have a reasonable amount of space on my hdd but would be really interested in stripping out some of those unneeded expanded copies of updates you mentioned. Know anywhere that provides guidance for that kind of thing?

Ta.

Baptist church in assault rifle giveaway

And lo...

He transformed her into a pillar of (as)salt (rifles). Bob 3(ii)

Mine's the one that says 'I'm going to hell' on it.

Mars whacked by object bigger than Pluto

@Pete

Yes, it's Jupiters fault apparently.

He's going to pull off a shot that might take us or Mercury with it. Although it might just pot it in the Sun or lose it off the table altogether.

http://space.newscientist.com/article/dn13757-solar-system-could-go-haywire-before-the-sun-dies.html

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!

Someday.

AVG disguises fake traffic as IE6

Am resisting.

Like other posters I started using AVG because of it's minimal effect on my system performance.

I'm still ignoring the 'PLEASE GET AVG 8!' pop up but from what's been posted here looks like I'm going to have to faff around getting another scanner.

How good is this ClamAV?

Bloke crams 13 into Volvo S70

@ Everyone who says 'I don't see the problem'

'No longer allowed to think for ourselves.' - Ah, that's ok. So when my kids about to stick their hand onto a hot stove I'll just stand and watch and let them think for themselves shall I?

For everyone else arguing that it's the nanny state, go cram you, you're loved ones and a few mates into a car and drive around until some other dick on the road turns it into meat blender and after you're finished burying your family you get back to me. Though you'll still probably blame the other guy.

The man's an idiot of the highest order.

/rant

San Franciscans prep monument to US prez

@Robert Scott

ha haha ha hahaa...

...quality thank you.

'...we would all be speaking Arabic right now because we would have turned French and said We Surrender!'

Sooo....the French speak Arabic and 'We surrender' is French is it?

Riiight.

Even Paris knows your arguments are flawed, and she knows some french too.

Snoop-happy councils warned off RIPA abuse

@Mike

You're only jealous.

Erm....

@ Mycho I've read the posts and I may have missed it but I'm pretty sure that no-one mentioned council workers 'following young schoolgirls around whenever they feel the urge'.

Have you just given us an enlightening insight into your foetid imagination?

Or was it just your run of the mill Freudian slip? ;-)

Seriously, I work for a council and I haven't followed any schoolgirls around....

...since the court order.

Plastic mac please.

Fine, fine!

I bow to the weight of more knowledgable commentators that letting your dog crap everywhere is a criminal offence.

Man, that'll teach me to not do my research.

And if you're correct - let's fire up those closed circuit badboys and catch us some poopers!

First off...

RIPA is not anti-terror legislation. Yes it can be used for that but it's original purpose was for the prevention and detection of crime. This hang up on 'anti-terror' is just media hype.

Second, RIPA is a fantastically badly written piece of law. It was rushed through to counter the effects of Human Rights Act (which basically said 'thou shalt not spy on anyone - unless your law says it's legal to' which ours didn't.)

Thirdly, local authorities are quite specifically only allowed to use RIPA for the prevention and detection of crime. If they have, as the reports suggest, being using it for dog turd droppers then the recipient of the fine has particularly good grounds not only to get the fine dropped like a tab end but for getting the council bollocked for inappropriate surveillance.

As bad as it is, this isn't an issue of 'new' spying laws or even of government big brother. It's basically some council jobsworths with bad oversight deciding that as they've got some bright and shiny cameras why not try and make a few of the gazillion quid they've spent on them back by collaring fag droppers and turd leavers.

In fairness, I don't particulalry mind it. People who leave behind the turds of their dogs should have their face rubbed in it to make sure they don't do it again.

CERN declares Large Hadron Collider perfectly safe

@Mark 'Re: Proof?'

Thanks for the reminder of 'The Black Hole'. Quality movie.

As for the rest of it. C'mon, it'll be fun. Frankly I'm hoping for a sizeable but not world ending disaster just to take my mind of the crappy headlines and reality tv.

'Suck it and see' I say.

Or will that be 'See it suck'?

There is no other icon for that comment.

The war on photographers - you're all al Qaeda suspects now

@'Contact your MP'

Any chance you could provide an example of the letter you sent or those that you received?

Very good article.

Reminded of an incident a few months agoe. A road had been closed so that a large crane could lift a big something or other on to the roof of the Capital One building in Nottingham. Two guys were stood looking at this going off about 100 yards down the road and one had his phone out and was taking a picture when two sizeable yellow jacketed security guards came over and told him in no uncertain terms that he wasn't allowed to take photos.

I remember at the time thinking that was bollocks and yet I walked on anyway and didn't say anything.

I regret that it's complacency like mine that will/has lead us on the road of this particular Orwellian nightmare.

Leeds thieves target Ford Focus chips

'Sky field force interface manager'

As opposed to the Sky force field interface manager who's contracted out to the Empire providing crap tv for Death Star residents.

'Welcome to the 'TV for planet destroying weapons' helpline, your call is important to us...'

God, I'm such a geek.

Coat, please.

Cardiff 'copter coppers give chase to UFO

@ MarkMcA

"Metaphorically, ET could have walked here - and probably has."

Hee hee.

So your argument is that ET probably has metaphorically walked here.

Walked here, metaphorically.

Hmmm....well putting aside your assumptions that ET has legs, is able to survive in a vacuum, has a lifespan of a couple of billion years, has a decent enough navigation system in his little ET pocket to find his way here, can actually find a particularly good reason to be arsed to walk(!) to a poxy backwater planet in this spiral arm of the galaxy (when there are so many other big earths and gas giants a lot closer), that it is actually possible to walk in space, and isn't so utterly fucked off from walking all that way, only to find a planet where the highest local lifeform is about to make itself extinct and take the world with it, that it doesn't just wipe us all out on the spot, apart from those minor assumptions I can see absolutley no problem whatsoever with your comment. Oh, and just in case you decide to jump on me for taking your metaphor literally - you're suggesting that ET got here very very slowly. Just what exactly would be the point? Any alien worth his crackly moon dust would surely use a wormhole?

I for one will welcome our 'desperately in need of a new set of Nikes' Gump-style decided-to-go-for-a-run overlord. (Deliberate singular - just the one ET? Was he the one with no mates?)

Firefox 3 downloads hit 7m despite server FAIL

Call me a sheeple if you like.

But I've been using FF2 for a while. Quite liked it so I downloaded FF3 last night. It's working fine, though no adblocker yet of course and I've added a nice little app that arranges images in an interesting way that may or may not get annoying after a while.

So everything pretty much same as really.

Meh.

What's the fuss?

Social networks may be imaginary

I want a spherical cow.

I had a dodecahedron chicken once.

You should've seen the eggs.

Ta daa!

Nope that's it.

I'll get my hemi-spherical butt out of here.

UK prisoners offered data cabling training

Depends what you want.

The fundamental divide here is between those who feel that prison should be a punishment and those who feel that it should be an opportunity for rehabilitation. There is no cross over with these two arguments.

If it's punishment you're after then by all means lock them up throw away their key for an indeterminate period, remove anything but the basic stuffs required so that the inmate doesn't die then sit back in your chair and say 'That'll learn 'em'.

If you think the idea of removing someone from society and having them be a better person when they return seems like a good thing to you then giving offenders an opportunity to see that there's more to life than drugs and violence will probably seem like the way to go.

You can't have it both ways.

You're not going to get a 100 bright and shiny IT bods each year coming from these courses. What you might do is show some of them that there is another world out there. IMO, even if you only got 2 a year that went on to lead law abiding lives I'm guessing that the money you'd save dealing with the crimes they would've committed would more than make up for the cost of the courses. Doesn't that possiblity alone make it worth it?

If you think not you're obviously not thinking about society as a whole, which, whilst perfectly understandable, is a bit sad and depressing.

Sharp pitches 'world's largest' LCD screen

I want one.

Please?

UK appeal court dismisses mod chip conviction

Alternative uses.

I've just bought a shovel. I might use it to bury the bodies of some media executives.

Would somebody like to sue B & Q?

BBC deploys the Tw*t-O-Tron

Can't comment......

......too busy laughing.

'Swan roasting' - Genius

Northrop scoops DARPA mindreader-helmet threat visor cash

...actually

I think that 'Target' is better than 'Task' in my previous post. Maybe I'm just being picky. I really should go and do some work.

Ermm....

You still have to see it and i.d. (usually) it to kill it.

Is the Mentally Interfaced Soldier Task Awareness Kill Evaluator Helmet going to do that too?

Dissolving the plastic bag problem

@AC '@Jolyon'

Thanks for the surreal mental image of chavs strewn over trees.

That's tickled me for some reason.

Chav Trees

Homeboy Hedgerows

Blinged Bushes (?) Not sure about that one

Qinetiq rolls out 'third party' SDK for killer robot lines

@AC Big Trak

I was so jealous of my of my cousins Big Trak I programmed it to drive from his bedroom and into the stairwell...

Crash and burn.

iRobot Roomba 560 robot vacuum cleaner

Erm....

I for one welcome our mediocre dust busting overlords?

That can't be right.