* Posts by Elmer Phud

4520 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Mar 2008

FCC gives SpaceX the go-ahead to drop Starlink satellite orbits by 500 kilometres or so

Elmer Phud

Re: Fun with Cable Ratings

"The power delivery required for a full charge is about 1200kW of DC power (100*60/5). That means pumping 5000A at 240VDC, or about 2900A at 415VDC. (Using P=V*I). Ignoring losses."


We've been promised a 'national network' of fast chargers -- but it seems that the public still thinks about a 13amp plug as a 'power connector'.

The local charging points are just single phase, low current, sucking on the street lamp supply.

I guess this means swapping the 13amp fuse for kitchen foil again.

Mayday! Mayday! Microsoft has settled on a build and Windows 10 21H1 is inbound

Elmer Phud

Re: Shouldn't they be calling it Windows 11 by now?

Win 3.1111111111111111111112

Won't somebody please think of the children!!! UK to mount fresh assault on end-to-end encryption in Facebook

Elmer Phud

Re: Once again the tired refrain

I help run a youth group -- I'd much rather educate them and also them have a secure communication channel for reporting and discussing things they may not want parets to see.

Just because parents have no idea about a life on line they shoudn't do the 'bogey man' crap to further shackle thier kids.

Elmer Phud

low-hanging fruit?

Whatever happend to What's App being in the employ of 'who ever is this weeks ssocial devil'?

I thought that was the target?

Nothing about MP's and Cabinet members and other secure messaging systems . . .

I wonder why

Elmer Phud

But do I want kids being able to feel safe when reporting dodgy adults?

Do I wan't 'battered women' to feel secure when trying to report their partner nearly killed them --again?

Or do I want this nasty bit of work bleating about 'openness' while denying others?

Close Solitaire and open this: It’s everything-Microsoft's-up-to-that-isn't-at-this-year's-Build

Elmer Phud

"rather than the gaudy effort that appeared with Windows 8, when Microsoft tinkered with the beloved format."

and people stopped using the now hopeless MS version

Doom: The FPS that wowed players, gummed up servers, and enraged admins

Elmer Phud

Wolfenstein -- the PaintshopPro of the 386 gaming world.

Everyone seemed to have a copy but no-one ever seems to have bought one.

European fibre lobby calls for end to fake fibre broadband ads

Elmer Phud

Re: Meat

'Possibly meat' would be the usual D'Blah explanation.

NASA's Mars probe InSight really has Mars in sight: It beams back first pic after touchdown

Elmer Phud


They have landed it in a field of potatoes --that's obvious from the pic

Openreach names 81 lucky locations to be plugged into its super-zippy Gfast pipe

Elmer Phud

Re: 81?

If LLU was opened out so BT could uses other's ducts then a lot of groundwork wouldn't be needed.

I've got FTTC and an O/H span while just outside my door is a green pipe leading to a half empty cabinet that BT can't use .

Elmer Phud

super, just super

Ah well, looks like I'll STILL be FTTC and O/H for decades to come

Barnet Council reckons Capita's dropped the ball on outsourced services

Elmer Phud

Oh Great

Having slashed and burnt to achieve full 'It wasn't ME' status my LA is now admitting they screwed up?

There is no office space left, few buildings, nothing much more than town hall and mayor with bling round their neck making comments so very close to 'strong and stable'.

But with a record of not complaining when developers fail to provide the contracted social housing and ensuring that the borough's youth have had all local youth clubs buildings demolished to make way for new (private) development, I expect nothing but a mirror of Brexit with the borough continually blaming everything on other people.

Now Europe wants a four-million-quid AI-powered lie detector at border checkpoints

Elmer Phud

Already exists, both as 'diplomatic' travel and executive jets.

Elmer Phud

Re: £4m doesn't go far

Having problems here trying to work out exactly what is irking you,

Local funding, EU funding or the cabal of 'big tech'.

Chinese biz baron wants to shove his artificial moon where the sun doesn't shine – literally

Elmer Phud

A birdy told me

I guess it will work as well as the way to deal with birds on crops -- kill the birds.

Then starve as the bugs destroy the crops for a few years until the birds come back.

Finally. The palm-sized Palm phone is back. And it will, er, save you from your real smartphone

Elmer Phud

Re: Neutered

But it's not a phone.

Think of it more as an old-time hard wired extension off a huge chunky 'master phone' with big buttons on it.

It has no functionality without the main device.

A ' 107 plan phone' for the new miilennials

Your RSS is grass: Mozilla euthanizes feed reader, Atom code in Firefox browser, claims it's old and unloved

Elmer Phud

I'll miss seeing the Reg's arse

Microsoft deletes deleterious file deletion bug from Windows 10 October 2018 Update

Elmer Phud

Bad user!

My default Documents folder is generally ignored as any rebuilds or new machines have all documents elsewhere due to machines in the distant past having small drives and it's easier to bung data elsewhere than having to keep finding space.

I just ignore 'My Documents'

Day two – and Windows 10 October 2018 Update trips over Intel audio

Elmer Phud

That would explain things

I had settled down to listen to Alfie Moore's 'It's a Fair Cop' and had to abandon the programme as the sound was bloody awful.

I thought, 'Oh it'll sort itself out when I boot up tomorrow ' and I find it's another cock-up.

It's not a new 'experience', Microsoft, it's (sniff, sniff) a return to the good old days of ---Upgrade, reboot while holding Rosary beads.

JAXA probe's lucky MASCOT plonks down on space rock Ryugu without a hitch

Elmer Phud


We have a real Space Hopper!

UK's Openreach sends full fibre to Coventry

Elmer Phud


I can't see my bit of O/H being replaced by then.

They can't use the fibre cabinet just up the road on my side - it belongs to everyone else.

UK ruling party's conference app editable by world+dog, blabs members' digits

Elmer Phud


This sounds like a standard gobermint IT project as wot has been seen over the years.

SNAFU - in which respect I expect it to be announced as a resounding success and a huge benefit to those who use it etc.etc.

UKIP doubled price of condoms for sale at party conference

Elmer Phud

Re: UKIP condoms

A bit bloody late then . . .

Now they will put them on their heads to try and protect themselves from the shitstorm that is comeing

Elmer Phud


Oh no, not rage - mere observations.

Though I'm not sure why they are selling them as Sir Nige of Thanet just goes on an onan onan onan on,

The internet – not as great as we all thought it was going to be, eh?

Elmer Phud

Unicorn poo

Many people, it seems, bought the idea that all was wonderful and the internet was full of fairy farts.

But the internet has people using it and some people do not agree with others while others find destructive trolling 'a huge laugh'.

It is NOT and never has been a wonderful safe (and boring) place.

SpaceX dodges lightning while storms keep Japan earthbound

Elmer Phud


"delighting the SpaceX fanboys with yet another successful touchdown, this time aboard the drone-ship "Of Course I Still Love You", stationed out in the Atlantic."

This is the problem, every time Musk is a twat, the naming thing is such a plus point.

And I feel that there are many at The Reg who also have this issue - being huge Banks fans.

$200bn? Make that $467bn: Trump threatens to balloon proposed bonus China tech tariffs

Elmer Phud

Ah, such wisdom . . .

Does he not know that as soon as the ban on China was announced, US 'Patriots' flocked to Chinese wholesalers to buy up flags?

The makers raked in a small fortune they said 'we make other flags' - keeping quiet about exports to places NOT on the banned list.

As the US tech industry kaaks itself and shakes it's head in the sheer disbelief of a 'supreme businessman' who can't even plastic-coat a turd.

Pluto is more alive than Mars, huff physicists who are still not over dwarf planet's demotion

Elmer Phud

Re: Stop this playground spat!

ALL planets are FLAT!

You 'round worlders' are always trying to fool us with fake topography!

FFS! doesn't the Turtle and the four elephants give the game away?

Official: Google Chrome 69 kills off the World Wide Web (in URLs)

Elmer Phud

Re: The layers keep piling up

Most folks would be hard pressed to change a fuel injector these days --yet they drive billions of miles without it being the cause of a trip to the shrink.

I know how my washing machine and dishwasher work -- but I'd not be too bothered if I didn't

Elmer Phud

Re: It's become a search engine box?

Well, yeah.

Isn't that how things usually work with Google 'anything'?

That so many out there refer to the browser as 'Google' is not a bit of a clue?

Bug bounty alert: Musk lets pro hackers torpedo Tesla firmware risk free

Elmer Phud

Re: "Those who want to be enrolled in the research program will need to contact Tesla directly"

" owners will need to register both themselves and their cars"

Reading is soooo last week . . .

Canny Brits are nuking the phone bundle

Elmer Phud

Data use

I'm on a cheap PAYG SIM. I worked out that most of the time I need a data connection I'd either be at home or somewhere I can slurp. Also that for some folks, 'all you can eat' leads to being on-call 24/7.

Creaky systems 'cost lives': Health secretary Matt Hancock pledges to solve NHS IT woes

Elmer Phud

It's taken a while

we've not seen one of these for a while.

They usually end up either scrapped after many changes of firms and guaranteed payouts or so far behind that they are no longer for for purpose - and still paying out guaranteed lumps.

Ah, if only things were as smooth as Crossrail . . .

I've seen the future of consumer AI, and it doesn't have one

Elmer Phud

The cooker needs more info

The cooker first needs to monitor the home and detect the unmistakeable signs of a pissed person.

THEN it checks the fridge to see what it contains and is most likely to be favoured by someone at the stage of 'experimentation'.

At that point it accesses its own system and compares with Michelin star type food, and shuts down as a matter of sheer decency and taste (while ordering a pizza)

Elmer Phud

Re: Personality

Wot, like as in the local KFC or burger chain?

They have 'courses' to try and remove any trace of personality

Anon man suing Google wants crim conviction to be forgotten

Elmer Phud

Yeah, well . . .

"“as an entrepreneur who is involved in business, investment and civil society ventures in the UK and overseas”, stating that “he intends to raise venture funds by equity offerings.”"

As someone who is capable of understanding politician's doublespeak -- this sounds a bit 'Trotter-ish' to me. The last bit is wonderfully iffy.

DraftKings rides to court, asks to unmask 10 DDoS suspects

Elmer Phud

Re: SHOULD they be allowed to ?

It's like an email I got from BT where, apparently, I'd downloaded Fast and Furious number somethingorother.

Considering I leave my BT side open to slurpers- it's still my IP address where the slurping comes from.

I ignored the email.

But, then who needs to download F&F?

It's not as if it's not on TV all the time.

Russian volcanoes fingered for Earth's largest mass extinction

Elmer Phud





Boffins bork motion control gear with the power of applied sound

Elmer Phud

Why takeover?

Jamming such devices could prove more fruitful with military tech

Cobbler feels the shoe-leather: An IP address is still not a human

Elmer Phud

IP means me?

I got an email from a firm apparently given access to my records by BT.

Something about Fast and Furious four being downloaded from my IP address.

After being informed by the rest of the house that:

a, they'd got it already

b, they'd got subscriptions to site so why download

c, 'fuck off, that one's shit

I ignored the email and still haven't had the joy of informing someone that I share my IP address with anyone else with a BT login who could even be my neighbour.

Windows 95 roars once more in the Microsoft round-up

Elmer Phud


Green Screen Of Death - sounds like an enhancement to me

Android data slurping measured and monitored

Elmer Phud

"As we repeatedly point out, Apple makes its money from selling overpriced hardware"

It's all about the money, money, money - they don't really give a toss about YOU, just your pocket.

Elmer Phud

Re: RE: tiggity

"What's a gender?"

A list of stuff you're supposed to get through at a meeting before heading to the pub

Southport: Come for a round of golf, stay for the flesh-eating STIs

Elmer Phud

Thanks for the iimage

" before your todger starts acting like it just saw the Ark of the Covenant."

Having seen a few pickled dicks in a Naval Hospital museum --- some might not believe the number of different ways a todger could disintegrate in their very hands.

Elmer Phud

Big Frank?

"Why does it hurt when I pee?"

another Frankie song.

London's Gatwick Airport flies back to the future as screens fail

Elmer Phud

Blah Blah

""an innovative, cost effective system that are easily scalable, more flexible and resilient, and require considerably less infrastructure and maintenance"."

Someone has got a fat bonus at the costs of several workers.

Beam me up, PM: Digital secretary expected to give Tory conference speech as hologram

Elmer Phud

Re: The shape of things to come?

If only -- they might be more humanitarian.

Self-driving cars will be safe, we're testing them in a massive AI Sim

Elmer Phud

" recreates a virtual version of 32km of Oxfordshire roads."

Nice, M40 -- just the thing for nose-to-tail autocars.

Go Zuck Yourself: Facebook destroys patent suit over timeline

Elmer Phud

IP squatters / Patent trolls

Can wear top hats while pogoging unnder the belies of Anacondas.

Either my name, my password or my soul is invalid – but which?

Elmer Phud

Re: "Wrong" email addresses

Shirley not!

And no one ever uses them for FB accounts, either,