* Posts by Anon Koward

41 publicly visible posts • joined 28 Feb 2008

Bear squeeze blues: How to destroy a bank

Anon Koward

Taxes on bonuses etc

There has been a lot of talk lately about taxing bonuses and taxing the rich in general, whilst this is an admirable goal let's not forget the reality that exists.

The Inland Revenue employs a lot of accountants and I am sure some very good people but on the whole the best accountants and tax lawyers exist in the private arena not in the government sector because like anyone intelligent they appreciate their take home salary can be tripled by servicing the wealthy.

This therefore means that these folk are able to employ their best tax avoidance (not evasion because that's illegal) strategies to ensure their clients pay the least amount of tax, in fact on paper a large majority of millionaires etc actually appear to earn less than day to day workers in the financial sector.

Who always end up bearing the brunt of these government knee-jerk tax rules? The middle-class those earning about £50K which to be honest is not a hell of a lot of money, even those people earning over £100k aren't that well off even though that may sound like a lot of money to most people.

Anyone earning over at least £200k can start to afford the best tax people and lets not even think of those folks earning over a mil.

The mob always screams for blood but 9 times out 10 its the wrong people who end up bleeding to appease the media frenzy and the governments pandering to over-reactive savants.

Reg readers rage at comment icon outrage

Anon Koward


Ok my recent post about icons may have been a tad hasty... thank you for bringing the old one's back but honestly some of the redesigned one's (flame and heart to name a few), look like one's my 4yr old son* draw's.

So I am going to stand by my statment of boycotting the icons.

*He is quite talented!

Mythbusters RFID episode axed after 'pressure' from credit card firms

Anon Koward
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How dare you imply that I live in that lawyer infested land! (No offence to those people that have no choice and were born in America :). (I am in the UK btw)

When I went to watch the clip yesterday it kept displaying that YouTube message saying it was no longer available, I assumed they must have pulled it *shrug*, works fine for me too today.

Anon Koward
Black Helicopters

YouTube Clip

It looks like it has been pulled too, ahh bless that silly American legal system in action again..

A cynic may point out that America is actually governed not by a government dictatorship but more so by a legal dictatorship.

Sony e-book reader to debut in UK tomorrow

Anon Koward

@"I count 23 buttons. Why?"

"Or they could both get together with Nintendo and release the WiiInk."

How About iWii :)

Chinese boffins crack invisible-shed window problem

Anon Koward
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Hmmmm perhaps already in use?

I think my project team have stolen and are using this technology today. Whenever I need them to do an urgent task they bloody well disappear!

iPhone passwords not worth the paper they're written on

Anon Koward


I believe most of the posts wrt iPhone vs Windows mobile are slightly off track here. The iPhone like all major smartphone products are trying to break the stranglehold that Blackberry's have on corp usage.

The iPhone as a product may very well dominate the personal use market, (I don't know if it has or if it will etc), but you won't see any major tech-heavy spending company invest in an iPhone until it tightens it's security.

The Blackberry whilst not as pretty as all the smartphones out there is the workhorse of big companies and Apple wants a cut but looks like it has a long way to go..

Microsoft's IE 8 puts giant web hole on notice

Anon Koward

Slagging match...

Every comment thus far has been slagging off IE, you fanboi's are persistent aren't you :)

Whilst i will agree that more than likely this won't stop all XSS attacks at least it provides some protection and that at least should be encouraged not discouraged for any piece of software no matter the OS or in this case browser.

Whilst I am not a major advocate for any single software product from any company, (I actually feel that each product has it good points and bad, how in the world can some people get so vehement about code does escape me a little), I do respect MS for fighting a battle on so many fronts in the software arena. They have in the last 10 years released products that have shaped IT* and that is something to respect.

*Whether that shaping has been beneficial or negative is not an argument that i would be eager to debate but you can't escape the truth they have shaped it..

UK.gov loses 29 million personal records

Anon Koward

@Bigus Dicus

I fully agree, although the problem is not wholly and solely with the respective IT departments, (all the time anyway!).

I did a stint recently with a UK government organisation overseeing a large technology deployment. One of the challenges faced was trying to get the users to adopt encryption for removable media. This problem was exacerbated by the fact that the head of HR could not see the need for encryption!!

Needless to say i was gobsmacked and even though everyone in Technology was pushing for encryption none of the users would allow it.

Talk about the tail wagging the dog.

Satnav turtle locates cannabis stash

Anon Koward
Black Helicopters

Kill all turtles!

The various governments are obviously now utilising other members from the animal kingdom and turning them for their own nefarious uses.

Nothing else for it, all turtles must die*

*Ok that may be a bit extreme but hey what’s the alternative no more pot???? no arrrrggghhh no!

Russell Crowe to play Bill Hicks?

Anon Koward

Final Statement

FYI Russell Crowe is a k1w1, he was born in NZ and whilst he moved to the lucky country at an early age he is not from god's country..

He does prefer to be classified as an Australian but we don't want him, any country in need of a has-been actor? You can adopt your very own chubby, racist beer swilling*, no good actor.

*Although beer swilling has been put in here as a detriment it is only for effect and is certainly not considered a detriment by this poster

Be Unlimited pulls plug on home CCTV service

Anon Koward
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@ dont need be for this

I too would be happy to assist in helping out the poster with his difficulities in order to assist with setting his secuirty up any way he likes it to be.

I have had a few years experience at putting in security systems of differnt sorts..

Just drop me an email at ozzievegas@gmail.com

Tired of RRoD taunts? Turn your Xbox 360 into a PC

Anon Koward

Why, why, why?

As per the title, why? Why would anyone in their right mind spend about £300 (Xbox £130-150+this case £150), on this??

You can buy a nice low-end PC for that and the Xbox 360 isn't exactly a high-end spec PC anyway, I just don't see a financial benefit add to that the whole reason consoles are not shaped like PC's is so that people (especially the ladies of our respective households), don't mind having them in the living room.

This product would appear to be something that will assist in prying away money from fanboi's and idjits..

Fake feet trip up Olympic opening coverage

Anon Koward

Good news for the London 2012 Ceremony!

Now they can CGI some sunshine into it!

American man too fat for execution

Anon Koward

Death Penalty, America and Sheila's

Ok so here is my 2p:

Wrt Death Penalty and whether it should exist or not. If it actually works as a deterrent then it is still a valid form of punishment. Only if you can proves conclusively that by killing someone it has helped save other lives than it can be considered as a useful form of punishment but are there better way's?

America, ok whilst I enjoy yank bashing as much as the next guy their culture is not that dissimilar from the British, Canadian or even Australian culture so whilst folks may foster an illusion of us and them, apart from some minor variances such as accent and a number of different laws once you scratch that small epidermal layer we are all very much the same.

Sheila's never want to hurt a fly, (I am generalising I know but its not too far from the average female opinion), so I am not overly surprised by the reticence displayed by SB at a number of the comments made by us lot :) The male of the species is by nature a very aggressive protective animal and we have no qualms to kill something/someone that has the potential to cause harm to the ones we care about, (pack style mentality).

As to whether our society should have corporal punishment like executions as a form of punishment, I for one say yes they should if it acts as a deterrent. We should definitely strive for a society where it isn't a necessary form of punishment but I believe we have a long way to go and until our society as a whole has progressed to that point we should continue to use any deterrents to criminal acts such as murder etc as we deem fit.

Profs: Teacher-student relationships key to sex education

Anon Koward
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Superb work!

"It soon became clear that teachers willing and able to forge closer relationships with their students always came out on top."

Intentional or not what a brilliant line!

Oz man cracks one off while speeding in drug-packed car

Anon Koward
Thumb Up

For clarity

Esky is the Aussie word Chilly bin is the kiwi term

Drugs are a rip-off in Oz on average and more so in remote locations like Darwin.

Average speed on the highways in Oz are 110kph but in the NT (Nothern Territory) the dirt roads have no speed limit

Of course the cops always over-inflate the value of a drugs bust and the coppers up North (down South from the UK of course but you know what i mean), will always take a cut for themselves

Slapping the bat whilst driving is a past-time for most NT drivers, fuk all to look at except ant hills and sand anyway..

Lesbos climax as lesbians lick Lesbians

Anon Koward


So El Reg isn't a lesbian online site??? When did this happen i thought all the flame wars about the JesusPhone and Global Warming were a direct result of the lesbian readership, not to mention their fixation with Paris!

I will have to take my "straight man wanting to watch lesbians battle it out over the best OS" readership elsewhere... (Perhaps WIRED is better for this hmmm)

/I'll grab my coat with hidden camera in it then...

Apple iPhone 3G

Anon Koward

@ Alex RE:MMS

I and my missus use MMS for sending dirty little pics, can't do that with email, wouldn't want the government to have a pic of my peni in their files!

MMS isn't dead and a lot of people use it, just because you don't doesn't mean the mobile world revoles around you buddy...

SCO ordered to pay Novell $2.5m Unix royalties

Anon Koward
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It's a bit sad though...

to see two tech companies that were in their day market leaders now fighting each other for scraps and bits of each others rapidly dwindling empires.

Such is the lifecycle of business I suppose but yes I am sure that bloodsucker lawyers are extremely happy.

MS takes Windows 3.11 out of embed to put to bed

Anon Koward

@ all the "Long Dead"

I think he was baiting us :)

Yep I remember using 3.11 and even 3.1 (never used 3.0 as was busy compiling beta Linux kernels and trashing my FS before then)

Ahh those were the days SCO System V was clunky but damn stable, Novell 3.x was 80% of market share (ctrl, ctrl, shift, esc anyone) and NT was a glimmer in the eye of MS...

Nope not long dead but I do smell a bit!

Mayor Boris to cover Porsche costs in CO2 tax brouhaha

Anon Koward

Hear, Hear!

This statement and I quote:

"As such, like all flat taxes, you could see Livingstone's plan as hitting the less well-off disproportionately hard", has to be the most insightful statement around taxes that I have seen for a while.

The constant problem with "taxing the rich" is that they can afford the best accountants the country has; it is a very simple principle:

I have 1 million pounds I want to avoid paying as much tax as I can on, I can give £100k per year to an accountant who will ensure that at least 95%+ of that million is protected.

Inland Revenue Tax inspectors earn about 30-40K pa and are quite good there is no doubt but the smart ones jump ship because they can see the writing on the wall, (30-40k pa or 100k per client!).

Ergo Inland Revenue and new taxes can never compete with the rich and its always the mid-income earners that always end up paying for society, hence why I am glad the like of red Ken are not in power, (although there are hundreds of his ilk dotted around the mass that is the UK government).

Are the ice caps melting?

Anon Koward

@whats next

I have read through all the comments and I was waiting to see if anyone had noticed that, (nope all too busy debating trends in graphs and coming up with a myriad of intellectual insults for each other).

It is a sad fact that scientists don't earn enough money in their chosen career that they have to resort to scare-mongering tactics such as global warming, AIDs etc to raise grant money as job protection but let’s not forget it is a fact.

The other aspect to all of this is that these disaster scenario's play into the hands of the mostly bored, commonly drunk jurno's and politicians. It's a safe topic to write/talk about as it automatically spurns this type of lengthy debate.

I can in all honesty say that I neither like nor dislike Al Gore and his message on Global Warming I respect hi ability to make him very large sums of cash, marketing on the latest disaster scenario.

In summary are we all going to burn up in a Venus like cataclysm as a result of Global Warming, no? What do I base that on, what graphs or facts? None I call it faith* ;)

*Not the religious zealot's faith in some unknown entity but the type of faith that Physicists has about Quantum Entanglement or Biologists over the creation of life..

The Moderatrix will see you now

Anon Koward
Dead Vulture

Is it too late for moi?

Due to a heavy increase in white noise that others call work I missed this article yesterday, as such am I too late or can I just squeeze a little one in?

Who thought of the term Camel Toe?

What is the English fascination with the hankie?

And finally: Do you stroke the buttons on your keyboard or do you press them quite firmly?

Many thanks

Google's Street View spycar clocked in London

Anon Koward


So when was this confernce in basingstoke? And is it a gay only event?

El Reg procures OGC mousemat

Anon Koward
Black Helicopters

Ahhh the good ol OGC...

I remember quite clearly my foray into the world of Government IT and the OGC, what a travesty of government bureaucracy!

I believe the OGC is the world’s best example of how to take a really good idea and implement it so badly that it is impossible to get anything done. It brings back the pain of trying to explain in multiple 30+page documents as to why VMware was chosen without a full competitive bid, (at the time it was the only virtualised environment software on the market!).

Nice Logo though, I hope the taxpayer enjoys all the money that was spent by the OGC on this.

/Tongue out of cheek

US woman sues over exploding thong

Anon Koward
Thumb Up

Sun = Hell

Well I for one shall be there in Hell to greet you all with some hot and spicy Bloody Mary's.

CherryPal out sweetens Apple with 2W, ultra-cheap PC

Anon Koward


The one major drawback for this device compare to a normal PC or even that new low-powered PC that was being bandied about ASUS EEUC (or whatever the acronym is), is that this device is not flexible.

Lets not forget the fundamental reason PC's took off so quickly over Mac's in the old days was due to flexibility of use, by the details that i read in this article it would appear that this device is only ever going to cover a niche market.

I can't see any mainstream business opening up their firewalls to allow this device to run those necessary apps like Outlook etc, (forget iTunes!), which means it has already limited itself and isn't flexible.

What about future upgrades of HW, but a new CherryPal every few years?

It just doesn't appear to be that that flexible, I think this CEO missed a trick, the market isn't crying out just for a green low wattage device, they are crying out for a green low wattage PC that still has flexibility...

Google's Hot Trends shafted by strap-on

Anon Koward


Well a mate of mine moved to Texas earlier this year, so I guess I know where all of this can be traced back to..

Potty-mouthed hackers steal comcast.net keys, go for a spin

Anon Koward

@Dick Tard

I think you will find it was Dick tard lane, obviously a troll of el' reg who just couldn't figure out where tard is actually meant to fit into a sentence!

/mines the coat with "L33t Tard Warez" on it...

Ballmer and Gates defend Vista, drop Windows 7 hints

Anon Koward

Vista bashing??

I don't believe anyone has been Vista bashing per se, a lot of the comments are all around personal expriences with Vista so its a bit of an ezaggeration to say they have been "bashing".

The simlpe facts remain Vista has not done as well as expected, MS are conducting some damage limitation to maintain integrity.

Will MS topple over as most anti-MS fanboys want as a result of Vista no but it does allow a more competitve market for OS's which benefits me as the end user so I am happy!

Vista/XP/Linux/Solarias shit even VMS used em all and all have good vs bad points. I just love seeing an OS will pretty colours...

Anon Koward

@Vista is great

Come on admit it, your Steve Ballmer posting aren't you :)

Vista on your iPhone - almost 'perfection'

Anon Koward

Ode to the 'Tards

I suppose that having spent so much time in IT it was bound to happen, I personally am very much OS agnostic these days and that can be extended to mobile devices and anything else that has an IT angle in it.

So to all the respective 'Tards trolling the site looking for the commencement of an OS war I say this:

Whatever you’re firmly held beliefs about the look and feel of an OS the by far larger proportion of users do not give a toss about the pros and con's they are more interested in the look and feel. Vista as an OS does appear to be a buggy piece of bloat-ware BUT the icons, graphics and animations do look quite nice.

Which is why a company like this has a market and releases something like a Vista skin for the Jesus phone, so save all this bleating about comparing OS's it means sweet F all to 80% of the user base out there and less to the rest of us reading this article...

/pulpit off

Thus spake the Moderatrix

Anon Koward

@Graham Bartlett

There are shoes and handbag stores in all female toilets, this is why:

a) they go to toilets in pairs (review potential purchases, provide moral support etc ad nauseam)

b) it takes them so bloody long!

Barclays Capital slashes contractor rates by 10%

Anon Koward
IT Angle

BarCap doing it again

They tried this on when I worked with them in 04; Credit Suisse did a similar thing by forcing all contractors to take 2 or 3 weeks holiday.

This type of ploy is an easy way of the CIO showing his boss how he managed to reduce the IT budget without impacting delivery, all said it is just smoke and mirrors because next year the contractors come back in at the same rate they were on before the cut!

Most Banking IT contractors have done a stint at BarCap and they are known as the "chop shop2 of IT banking, highest turnover of staff than the rest of the business silo's under Barclays but that is just down to Bobby Diamonds aggressive policies, (he hates IT people :)

London teen orders 'cab, innit'

Anon Koward

Queen's English

Could have been far worse, she may have ended up with a rack full of servers delivered to her door, (Cab/rack delivery is typically fairly cheap its all that lovely stuff they put in it that makes it expensive ;)

...I'll grab my Ye Olde English Scholar coat...

Move over Storm - there's a bigger, stealthier botnet in town

Anon Koward

@ Jermey "Evading security used by enterprise"

Typical Enterprise Security has a number of respective layers, the more business critical the system, (or higher risk such as public facing kiosks etc) the higher the respective security with an internal users desktop being near the tail end. (broad generalisation and not always the case)

Furthermore as a developer most IT support/operations/administrations departments will generally allow full access on a PC as it is the path of least resistance, the better approach is to either completely sandbox dev environments and PC's with a staged release into prod environments (for both PC's and servers)

Last point, if this utilises SMTP connectivity back out I would have expected most corporate firewalls to block outgoing SMTP from desktops?

Top cop: e-crime is the new drugs

Anon Koward
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@AC "The close the stock exchange at 5pm"

So true, in fact at one Bank I worked at they found one day when our trading systems went down the bank in fact made money because all those pesty traders weren't adjusting their positions constantly!

Traders, bless em..

Anon Koward

@AC "It would be easier to shut down the Stock Exchange..."

From a point of view that is correct but one must remember the scale here:

It would only be marginally easier to spend the vast amount of time and energy to either insert some malicious worm into an Exchange feed or some extremely elaborate DoS attack than it would be to obtain enough C4 to blow out multiple DC's that contain the core of the various Exchanges.

Either route would require a large amount of money, planning and knowledge

'Bullying' Aussie high school stops fingerprinting kids

Anon Koward

Nanny State

Tbh some of the responses I feel are a good indication of why the UK has ended up with the crisis it faces at the moment which is its teenage population.

Don't get me wrong I am sure there is a bit of sensationalism in the press about the yob's in Britain but there is still very much an element of truth.

If these types of measures can make a difference in forcing teenagers to start attending schools and not bunking off to get drunk in the park or whatnot then I say "full steam ahead".

As a parent I am far less concerned with the country becoming an Orwell 1984 institution than I am of seeing "happy slapping" and Ambulances, Fire trucks and coppers being bricked on by 14-18 year old youths...

Boffin stacks 16 PS3s to simulate black hole collisions

Anon Koward

If they did this on the Wii..

They could use the controllers to simulate black holes slamming nito each other or perhaps have Mario try and escape from the gravity well!

/my coat's the one made up of strings...