Posts by Arnold Layne

Tesla recalls Roadsters

@ emo and David

> Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious

Nice to see you supporting a British manufacturer (yes, I know their owners are foreign). Wonder if you've ever owned a Lotus or are just spouting, parrot-fashion, something you heard in a pub once on a special needs days out? I'm on my fourth one in ten very happy and fun-filled years of ownership. Have covered over 140,000 hard-driven miles including some very big trips across Europe and only had a Rover-made water pump fail.

I'll be driving my Exige 240 to work today and smiling all the way. Doubt if you dullards will have half as much fun for your money.

BNP DDoS 'mega-assault' not actually mega in the least

@ AC

> > In case you haven't checked their are millions of people voting BNP now

No. After you've taken your shoes and socks off and counted up as far as you know how please try to remember that the the next number is "twenty one" not "millions".

My father served in the war and saw Belsen shortly after its liberation so don't try to tell me there was no holocaust you small-minded nazi lowlife scumbag.

Kent council plans giant 'Hollywood' erection

Damn, beat me to it

"...it should be a large "Steer Clear" sign visible from outer space."

That and a large wall with razor wire on top around Chatham should do it.

Mudway council's so inept they managed to forget to renew Rochester's royal charter; after many hundreds of years it's no longer a city.

Apple double takes on shaken babies

Just needs rebranding

plus a new picture to make it "Gordon Brown Shaker" and they've a hit on their hands.

Google puts Chrome tabs on options list

@ sage

"And when the hell do we get Chromium up to date on Linux? I tried it, and all I can get working is the mediocre alpha one"

Arent you supposed to do it yourself? After all the Linux fanbois are always banging on about how wonderful and empowering open source is...

http://code.google.com/chromium/

US parkies in 'burrow-buster' marmot detonation campaign

Somebody has to say it...

Hey, nice marmot!

Vatican researcher claims Templars worshipped Turin Shroud

@Steve

"Where were the nerds and the geeks and the scientists before electricity? In the monastaries"

Edit for accuracy: Being tortured to death in the monasteries.

Students Union reps vote to ban cheap booze for students

Shame on Maggie Thatcher...

...for not stopping compulsory membership of the students' union back in the 80's when she had the chance. Curious how alI the loud mouth politicos then ranted on about freedom but wouldn't give students freedom of choice to join.

A guaranteed income stream with no effort required establishes the freeloading mentality that career politicians exploit for as long as they are able. Woolas is a case in point: When I was at Manchester in the 80's he was active in the union and living off tax payer's hard work with nothing to show for it and continues to do so now. Scum, the lot of them.

Competition Commission scuppers Capita takeover

Missed opportunity

They should have allowed it on condition the post-merger name was changed to IBS Crapita.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome sums them up perfectly.

Infant calls cops to dad's dope plantation

@Loki and Robert Moore

Loki: "From the article i guess this is a second house and not the family home as the mother 'apparently' was not aware of the growth"

Er, possibly yes if they were a nice 1950's style nuclear family. In the fractured modern world they're probably separated (hell they may not have been a couple for much more than the time it took to conceive) and loathe to visit each other .

Robert Moore: "There was a case recently where this procedure was not followed, a woman died, and a police dispatcher was terminated"

With extreme prejudice? Harsh, but fair.

Iron Maiden axe cut ribbon on 'rock’n’roll' hotel

Rock and Roll - you sure?

guests will enjoy "... REN Skincare bathroom amenities... bathrobes and slippers"

Sounds more lke it's aimed at manufactured boybands than rockers. Keith Moon must be spinning in his grave.

Europe-wide emergency number is go

Re cars phoning in when crashed

Bloody hell! With the way the French park that's the Parisian emergency centres swamped by calls within 5 minutes of the system going live.

Regulator to probe Davenport Lyons' P2P porn cash demands

C'mon it's Christmas!

"I expect financial penalties and disbarment to hurt them far more than beheading. "

Yes, but where's the fun in that? Let's put that empty plinth in Trafalgar Square to good use and spread a little Christmas cheer to all but Davenport Lyons.

HP squeezes 85 data centers into 'six-pack'

Yeah, right

"Now that I think about it, it might have made more sense back in July 2005 to have outsourced the whole HP IT transformation project to EDS and then bought the company when the project was done"

Are you having a laugh? EDS couldn't arrange a piss-up in a brewery.

Tragic Twitterers tweet goodbye to family life

Surely not?

> According to Yahoo/Sky, Sadville is growing by 70,000 users a day. I wonder who told them that

Would have thought Sky's growth rate would have flattened out by now. 70,000 new saddos (sorry, subscribers) a day seems wildly optimistic.

'Googlebomb' blows up in Daily Mail hack's face

Missed a trick

It would have been so much better from a Mail obsessed-with-property-values-nastiness point of view if the hits returned "Julie Moult, whose house is worth 50p, is an idiot".

Craigslist supervillain seeks henchmen

It's a shame...

...that villainsupply.com went down the pan. He could have got all his evil genius needs, and some, there.

Emirates airline website plummets offline in A380 excitement

Re: Another Option

"They are owned by a government that are oil barons, I'm sure they can afford the fee"

Hell, they can afford Network Solutions

EDS delivers final final numbers

Re: EDS Stands for

Exceptionally Dense Shitheads

New York threatens Comcast with anti-porn suit

It's the "Glorious Loyalty Oath Crusade"...

...and Andrew Cuomo is Captain Black. I claim my £5.

Paris who mumbled "gimme eat" with a full mouth

Daily Mail loses employee info

Yes but...

...you haven't told us how much Mr M J Hindley's house is worth.

After all that's always the most important thing on every Mail reader's mind.

French Colonial Marines to get Aliens medic-datalink

Oh god, I can see it now.

"It would be great ... hack the system so that the generals back home think some key units are being wiped out, triggering a retreat, then in the confusion -really- wipe them out."

No need to go to all that effort. It'll get outsourced to EDS or Crapita and they'll fuck it up without the hell of hackers.

Flame icon because it reminds me of the Foreign Legion's badge.

Arthur C. Clarke dead at 90

RIP

A truly sad day and a great loss to not just science and fiction but the world.

"I was trying to sort out why that headline hit me as hard as it did and I think it's because knowing that someone like Arthur C. Clarke is around is enough to keep a little spark of hope, of optimism, burning in the back of your mind." Oh yes.

Exploding turnip threat menaces Indiana town

The usual measured response by the US is expected

That'll be one extraordinary rendition flight coming up for Graham "The Turnip" Taylor then.

Paris, as it's a tale of two vegetables.

Blunkett gets another job

Honest Dave

"His fee from the paper was recently reduced from £150,000 to just over £100,000"

Given MP's track records of honesty it probably wasn't reduced at all. When he's found out it will be put down to an error by a minion.