Posts by Midnight

Welcome to Heathrow Terminal, er, Samsung Galaxy S5

Nice idea, one little problem.

Now, if somebody accidentally breaks the glass in one of Terminal 5's windows, they have to replace the entire building.

Did Google order staff to 'steal' web ad cash from publishers? THE TRUTH

Re: What a coincidence...

Analysis of Google Adsense bans show that roughly one in ten of them happened in the last three days before payout. Coincidence? I think not.

It's almost as suspicious as the way that Google employees take 40% of their so-called sick days on either a Monday or a Friday.

Spy back doors? That would be suicide, says Huawei

Re: No security issues?

That's not a security issue, it's a matter of customer convenience.

I trust Huawei more than ever knowing that they have made sure I can never be locked out of my secured network again.

Most Americans doubt Big Bang, not too sure about evolution, climate change – survey

I could comment about how surveys are conducted, but Sir Humphrey has beaten me to it.

http://users.aims.ac.za/~mackay/probability/survey.html

Money? What money? Lawyer for accused Silk Road boss claims you can't launder Bitcoin

Re: What's the point?

"No, no, no. "A transaction was made by anonymous party X to anonymous party Y" is not traceability."

Right. That's only metadata, and of no value whatsoever.

Original iPhone dev team was 'shockingly small' - Apple engineer

Re: Dead right...

"If you were crossing a large desert, which would you want - a horse or a camel?"

An airplane.

They accused him of inventing Bitcoin. Now, Nakamoto hires lawyer to clear his name

Re: Get real

"If he's really invented Bitcoin he'd be rich enough to buy a new identity, a private island, a Learjet [...]"

And to hire an out-of-work 64 year old man to move into his old house and answer to the name of Satoshi Nakamoto if any reporters come by.

Google slams Play Store password window shut after sueball hits

Re: Reminds me of....

It's not? Then I'm going to have to sue the Internet!

Women! You too can be 'cool' and 'fun' if you work in tech!

Re: Wow this new monitor is the coolest

She's trying to impress Moss and Roy by looking busy, but doesn't know that they just came into the office to plug in her computer.

Delhi police forget passwords to corruption portal, ignore 600 crimes

Re: I wonder...

'the corporate slogan plastered on their cars; "with you, for you, always".'

Now do they mean that as a promise, as a threat or just as a warning?

Yes, they do.

Dell charges £16 TO INSTALL FIREFOX on PCs – Mozilla is miffed

Re: Sounds about right

You're supposed to use the "mindless fanboi" icon when posting that. Unless you were being sarcastic - there's an icon for that, too.

If the goal is to deter people from asking you for help with Windows, then it's the perfect answer.

"Well, yes I am a doctor but my specialty is in removing organs for transplants. I can tell you why you have that pain in your abdomen, but I would have to take out your liver and both kidneys to do it. Is that okay with you?"

Fukushima radioactivity a complete non-issue on West Coast: Also for Fukushima locals, in fact

Re: Bah!

"Does no-one at this benighted excuse for a digital newspaper understand the first thing about homeopathy and the Laws of Dilution?"

As I understand the process of dynamisation, all it would take is a little bit of shaking and the entire Pacific ocean would become a homeopathic nuclear reactor with a mass of 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 times that of the original Daiichi NPP and, as such, capable of producing about 29 billion times more power than we receive from the Sun.

I don't see a problem with that.

Mathematicians spark debate with 13 GB proof for Erdős problem

Re: Test? No problem

Yes, but how many of those atoms could dance on the head of that pin?

Credit card of PayPal PRESIDENT cloned by UK crooks

He's right about that.

"My card (with EMV chip) got skimmed while in the UK. Ton of fraudulent txns. Wouldn't have happened if merchant accepted PayPal"

Indeed. PayPal would have pocketed the money long before any lesser thieves could have gotten to it.

Apple's Hacker Princess dumps fruity firm for Elon Musk's Tesla

Re: "fruity firm"

That exclamation point is only tilted by eight degrees. You need to tilt it exactly nine degrees to add the correct bit of whimsy.

Haribo gummy bears implicated in 'gastric exorcism'

In other news

The song "Hot Shot City" is particularly good.

Google grabs slice of interwebs for EVERYONE (who speaks Japanese)

[...] the word literally means “everyone” in Japanese, and “suggests multiple people doing things together”.

Why does everything on the Internet have to be about porn?

Cicada 3301: The web's toughest and most creepy crypto-puzzle is BACK

Re: Desmond Bagley "Running Blind"

That reminds me of a story involving time travel. The Clever Scientist figures out that as soon as time travel was invented, someone was bound to travel back in time to kill Hitler (Or some other Interesting Historical Figure). Once that happened someone else was guaranteed to travel back to stop him from doing that, and so on and so on. The only change to history which could not possibly be undone by another time traveller was to prevent time travel from being invented in the first place.

This explained precisely why his last two attempts to build a time machine had each met with mysterious setbacks and disasters, but it also provided a guaranteed technique for using time travel to win The War: Just allow The Enemy to steal all of your research, knowing that they will throw everything they had into trying to beat you in the "Time Machine Race" which they can't possibly finish, let alone win.

There was either a short story with that as the plot, or a future version of me travelled to the past and told it to me many years ago. I have never been able to figure out just which explanation of that story is true.

Scientists discover supervolcano trigger that could herald humanity's doom

Re: Probability and Mathematics

Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?

Intel bungs PC on an SD: Tiny computer for Internet of Things and wearables

Re: Volume

> > if it was a smartphone it would be considered a failure.

> Mainly because it doesn't have the hardware required to make calls.

You can also use a smartphone to make phone calls? That must be some hidden feature that nobody ever talks about.

Calling all Spare Rib veterans: Sisters, don't lose your rights!

Re: Well Done El Reg

" ...You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling anyone or anything."

"But the plans were on display..."

"On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them."

"That's the display department."

"With a torch."

"Ah, well the lights had probably gone."

"So had the stairs."

"But look you found the notice didn't you?"

"Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of The Leopard'."

Enraged by lengthy Sky broadband outage? Blame BT Openreach cable thieves

NEED MUCH More Severe Penalties!!!

Go home, Boris. You're drunk again.

Malware+pr0n surge follows police op to kill illicit streaming sites

That was appropriate

Curiously enough, this article was accompanied by a banner ad informing me that asian women want to meet me.

Have the City of London Police been in touch with El Reg recently?

BOFH: Is WHAT 'running slow'!? GOD

Perhaps you needed to give the guitarist a "Soar" knob.

http://www.mixerman.net/diaries5.php

http://i.imgur.com/HpbVL.jpg

Ohh! The PRECIOUS! Give it to uss. We WANTS it: Shiny iThings coming in 2014

Re: @Ascylto

I wouldn't know what the inside looked like. I can't open the fridge without a pentagram-shaped screwdriver, six plastic wedges of different designs, two litres of solvent and a hair dryer.

HTC phone STOPS BULLET, saves Florida gas station clerk's life

Better than the iPhone 5.

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/09/26/gold-iphone-5s-cant-withstand-being-shot-with-a-sniper-rifle-but-it-still-looks-good-trying/

Okay, it was a _slightly_ higher power weapon, but the results are more dramatic that way.

Want to keep the users happy? Don't call them users for a start

One more thing

Don't set them on fire either. That rarely helps as much as you think it would.

Anonymous and pals gather in support of girl at centre of rape case

"People called Romanes, they go, the house?"

City of Munich throws Ubuntu lifeline to Windows XP holdouts

Re: How does this help?

While I appreciate the complexity of that answer, it does not answer the question of how to change the screen resolution.

That procedure changes the resolution of the frame buffer used during startup, which is something which the average user has no use for. Once the system has booted and started up the graphical logon and desktop there is a slightly different process to be followed:

1) Open the system menu, then select "Preferences" and "Monitors". The exact location and appearance of this may vary depending on exactly what distribution, version and desktop you are running but for me that menu option has the helpful subheading "Change resolution and position of monitors" directly below the title.

2) Click on the "Resolution" pulldown and select one of the supported resolutions available.

3) Click on the "Apply" button. The resolution will change and a window will pop up asking if everything looks okay.

It really is that easy. If looking at the wrong answer can "frighten the shit out of Joe User", then how did they ever survive using Windows when confronted with directions like this for changing network settings?

(From http://support.microsoft.com/kb/929852, and yes this is the answer to the wrong question just like editing the grub configuration to change the frame-buffer settings is the wrong way to change screen resolution.)

Click Start, type regedit in the Start Search box, and then click regedit.exe in the Programs list.

In the User Account Control dialog box, click Continue.

In Registry Editor, locate and then click the following registry subkey:

HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Services\Tcpip6\Parameters\

Double-click DisabledComponents to change the DisabledComponents entry.

Note If the DisabledComponents entry is unavailable, you must create it. To do this, follow these steps:

In the Edit menu, point to New, and then click DWORD (32-bit) Value.

Type DisabledComponents, and then press ENTER.

Double-click DisabledComponents.

Type any one of the following values in the Value data field to configure the IPv6 protocol to the desired state, and then click OK:

Type 0 to enable all IPv6 components. (Windows default setting)

Type 0xffffffff to disable all IPv6 components except the IPv6 loopback interface. This value also configures Windows to prefer using IPv4 over IPv6 by changing entries in the prefix policy table. For more information, see Source and Destination Address Selection.

Type 0x20 to prefer IPv4 over IPv6 by changing entries in the prefix policy table.

Type 0x10 to disable IPv6 on all nontunnel interfaces (both LAN and Point-to-Point Protocol [PPP] interfaces).

Type 0x01 to disable IPv6 on all tunnel interfaces. These include Intra-Site Automatic Tunnel Addressing Protocol (ISATAP), 6to4, and Teredo.

Type 0x11 to disable all IPv6 interfaces except for the IPv6 loopback interface.

To use the DisabledComponents registry value to check whether IPv6 was disabled, run the following command at a Windows command prompt:

reg query HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Services\Tcpip6\Parameters /v DisabledComponents

You may receive the following error message:

ERROR: The system was unable to find the specified registry key or value.

If you receive this error message, the DisabledComponents registry value is not set. If the DisabledComponents value is set, it overrides the settings in the connection properties.

iPhone 5S: Apple, you're BORING us to DEATH (And you too, Samsung)

Re: premium priced phones.

https://play.google.com/store/devices/details/Nexus_4_8_GB?id=nexus_4_8gb

"We are out of inventory. Please check back soon."

Clearing out last year's inventory at fire-sale prices is nothing new either.

Penguins, prepare to get SPACED OUT: Ubuntu 13.10's Mir has docked

"I was thinking instead of having a actual docking station all you need is a wifi enabled monitor and keyboard"

And for that you would have to wait for 802.11ad to be available, as even a single-link DVI connector has three times the bandwidth of 802.11ac, the fastest wifi standard in use today.

You could try compressing the video stream before transmitting it, which is what Apple did with their ill-fated Lightning to HDMI adapter ( http://arstechnica.com/apple/2013/03/apples-lightning-to-hdmi-cant-actually-output-at-1080p/ ), but you might not be pleased by the picture quality and anyone trying to use the same wifi network for anything else, such as connecting to their own monitor and keyboard, may want to throw things at you.

Canadian comet impact fingered for triggering prehistoric climate shift

On behalf of Canadians everywhere

We're very sorry about that.

Billionaire Google founder splits with wife, allegedly beds Google Glass staffer

I've seen this story before

Isn't this how Microsoft Bob got started?

Mystery of Guardian mobos and graphics cards which 'held Snowden files'

Re: Huge flaw in article

"So, it seems that the Guardian has copies of some classified files. What's the required response from our department?"

(pulling a binder off a a shelf, blowing dust off of it) "Hmm... According to the regulations we need to ensure that the documents are destroyed along with any mimeographed copies of them, and at least two officers need to oversee the operation."

"Mimeo-what? How old is that book you're reading?"

"I can't make out the date but there's a reference to King Edward in the preamble. Anyway, rules are rules and if we don't march down there and start burning mimeographs it'll be our heads."

*sigh* "If you say so. Shall I head down to the stables and have them ready your coach?"

"If that's what the regulations say we have to do, then you'd damn well better."

A short, sharp tool kit to get you to the top in financial IT

But on the third, gripping, hand it could just be poor punctuation combined with a need to overly explain a reference which might be unfamiliar to at least 5% of the intended audience.

Re: this is not

By an incredible coincidence, Google is not very successful as a bank.

Rise of the Machines: How computers took over the stock market

Re: Taxes aren't a solution, they're a way to compound a problem.

All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

New Android plan: Gurn at your phone to unlock it

Re: Speech Recognition

"This is a voice-activated telephone. Please state which number you would like to call in a clear and calm manner."

"E-LEV-EN!"

BOFH: Go on, beancounter, type DROP TABLE asset;

Re: Did Simon forget

My personal favourite is finding the same tape you put in weeks ago still in the drive and a box full of unused blank tapes on the next shelf over, even though you know the full backup takes three tapes.

Apparently the helpful folks on the night shift didn't understand why the tape kept popping out of the drive and just pushed it back in every time. That caused some kind of meaningless warning to appear on the backup console, but there was no reason to read it as selecting "OK" made that go away as well.

Tea, Earl Grey, hot! NASA blows $125k on Star Trek 3D FOOD PRINTER

Re: If the printer itself costs £125k......

Soylent Ink is people! It's PEOPLE!

Hunt: I'll barcode sick Brits and rip up NHS's paper prescriptions

Re: Anti-fraud measure?

I don't think that "abolished" means what you think it means. The word you are looking for is probably "pocketed".

Flat mobe battery? Just light a fire

Re: When "convenience" becomes less so...

Or use a Nokia. Their Nokia Maps^W^W Ovi Maps^W^W Here There Everywhere^W^W^W Pants Maps^W^W... Oh, whatever they call it this week, their maps application stores everything locally meaning that it's still useful even after you leave home. I have never understood the fetish for expensively downloading high resolution satellite maps just so you can figure out which exit to take from the highway.

CURSE you, EINSTEIN! Humanity still chained in relativistic PRISON

Re: Since this is ask-a-stoopid-question-Friday

The pressure is still greatest at the core. That 's why the middle part of the sun is where all the burning happens.

Re: unless...

That would explain why half a second after we turn the bloody thing on, it either shorts out, blows up, or has a sperm whale fall on top of it.

Re: Stupid question

Where the car analogy starts getting interesting is if you could reach under the blanket with a tin of blue paint and turn one of the cars blue without ever looking at it.

If the other car must be red because the one you just painted is blue then you've got a fun toy that you won't want to think too hard about.

Movie review: Oblivion

I don't know... I don't think that this remake was a good idea when the original with Patrick Stewart and Sean Bean was just fine.

30 years ago, at flip of a switch, the internet as we know it WAS BORN

Re: Actually...

I think you meant "The internet as we know it was born on September 182, 1993, when AOL spewed all its users out of its walled garden onto Usenet".

Galapagos islands bombed with 22 tonnes of Blue Death Cornflakes

Re: A cheaper option.

Or The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents.

A bitter spill to swallow, or 'how to smeg up your keyboard'

Re: Simpler soloution

Mandrake. Mandrake, have you never wondered why I drink only distilled water, or rainwater, and only pure-grain alcohol?

Habitable HEAVY GRAVITY WORLD found just 42 light-years away

Optional

Jinx? Why not Mesklin? That would be a little more interesting.