* Posts by Bob Gender

49 publicly visible posts • joined 18 Feb 2008

German mayor's browser tabs catch him with trousers down

Bob Gender


Vodafone to spend £100m on 150 new Brit phone shops

Bob Gender

Wouldn't this go nicely with a decision to pull out of Carphone...

It's EE vs Vodafone: 'How good is my signal' study descends into network bunfight

Bob Gender

I have RootMetrics on my iPhone...

And what's with the para about "different radio chipsets"? Oh, look, Vodafone advertising!


Foxconn preps for Peak Apple with FIFTEEN THOUSAND new hires

Bob Gender

Re: That's a lot of jobs...

Wow - please post this sales data by country.


Millions of unloved iPhone 5Cs gather dust in warehouses – report

Bob Gender

"Demand for the iPhone 5c has not been as strong as the demand for its blinged-out brother, the iPhone 5s"

So you're just going to state that as fact, when even your "source" is a story based on... 3rd party research?

5c outsells 5s - that's the dirty little secret everyone with actual data knows. I hope someone at Apple is laughing at you.

Call me a fanboi, meh, I don't care - you're the ones proclaiming to be a news org and yet regurgitating BS from uninformed researchers with a product to sell.

Vodafone Germany looks to provide end-to-end encryption with SIM signatures

Bob Gender

Ah, so they're lying, got ya.

Feel free to read the source itself, if you want.


I searched for El Reg's story on this but it must have slipped through the cracks. Or do I mean "not fit their childish agenda".

Bob Gender

Any chance of an objective comparison of this with Apple's "burn the admin keys and superglue the locks" privacy infrastructure?


No, didn't think so. Much easier to use words like fanboi and pretend that Apple does nothing special that might make their customers choose to buy their products over the weak crap from others.

Galaxy S5 launch parties to fizzle in Samsung's back yard

Bob Gender


The S5 was announced a year after the S4, which was announced a year after the "SIII" - how is that bringing anything forward?

And re post above, Apple probably sell about 4 handsets a week in South Korea so I doubt they're bovvered.

I wanna see our MNOs get slapped for over-subsidising... They give away TVs and still make 25% margin.

eBay rejects Carl Icahn's board nominees as 'inexperienced'

Bob Gender

He's forgetting about...

SNAD Fraud - how are PayPal and eBay going to be profitable if they're not in it together?

Vulture wraps claws around Elgato Thunderbolt Drive+ portable SSD

Bob Gender

Re: "that’s a serious amount of money"

"the fanboi"?


Not sure if trolling or pushing crayons up own nose.

You're spending WHAT on iPhone 6? Wells Fargo downgrades Apple stock

Bob Gender

Re: They haven't since about 2007

"So there haven't been any properly 'new' feature additions in half a decade."

If you mean no espresso machine, fair enough. If you mean the iPhone 5 has feature parity with iPhone 1 then I'll have some of what you're smoking please.

Apple kicks iStuff-sniffer out of App Store

Bob Gender

Re: a shaky bus ride nonetheless ...

It's fairly easily explained - it was a website, not an App. I know this can be confusing to the elderly hacks running this place.

Rule number one: never get your facts from El Reg.

Frinstance, no iPad Airs exploded recently - twas an iPad 4. But journalism is dead, so whatever gets 'widely reported' gets 'reported' as news.

Lumia 2520: Our Vulture gets his claws on Nokia's first Windows RT slab

Bob Gender


That file manager will come in handy then, so I can find charmap.exe and do a Euro symbol?

First look: Apple iPhone 5S and 5C

Bob Gender

Re: So, wallpaper on the 'C' version

No, the wallpaper can't be changed. You must comply with Ive or DIE.


Bob Gender


"That's a welcome contrast to the iPhone 5 which felt almost unsettlingly light."

Like these horseless carriages, which are unsettlingly fast?

Apple MacBook Air 11-inch 2013: Netbook with next-gen tech

Bob Gender

Loving the Reg's continuing prissiness about Apple ("Where's the innovation!?! they yell, 3 paragraphs before mentioning the PCI-Express SSD and the 12 hour battery life...)

BlackBerry's retro-look QWERTY Q5 mobe: Resentment by design

Bob Gender

Re: This part sums it up for me

I don't know why he mentions swiping up, unless the Q5 works differently the the Q10.

From any 'main' OS screen if you start to type it shifts to Instant Action (which is also Search) mode and suggests a list of things you might want to do. Takes much less brain to type "email bob" than it does to go to the hub, make sure you're in Email, compose, etc.

Also stupid on BB10:

a) When you perform an action on a message in the hub (eg, "File") it then takes you back to the message. Which you've obviously just done with, because you filed it. Should go to next unread, or root.

b) No changelogs on the updates despite frequent updates being BB's only road to survival. As a matter of fact the update points you to a URL (which you can't click - they can't have actually used their own product) which when I went there is their blog post for the very first update back in January. Horrible.

Sleek Nokia Lumia details EXPOSED ahead of Thursday's disrobing

Bob Gender


Buster Gonad, a (Viz) joke so good you used it twice!

I'm not convinced that "Lumia 1020" is the final name, although open to being proven wrong. Have seen indications of another name in some interesting places (no, not EON or ELVIS).

The other problem is Sony are going to 20MP for i1 and I'm not sure WP8 +PureView has enough power to stop that 'winning'.

BBC-featured call centre slapped with hefty fine for unwanted calls

Bob Gender

Why is Swansea the UK capital of unsolicited telephone marketing? Especially outfits that sail close to the wind.. Is there an infrastructure or labour reason?

EG, if you ever got a call from someone offering you mobile phone insurance or "We're (mumble) Orange, you are entitled to a free smartphone upgrade" (both based on purloined data from MNOs), chances are it was somewhere near Swansea.

Windows 95 to Windows 7: How Microsoft lost its vision

Bob Gender

More Fonts = More slowness

Does it still have the same 16 bit font setup (including the font viewer)?

North Korea announces missile test sat launch

Bob Gender
Dead Vulture


"Satellite launch rockets and intercontinental ballistic missiles are very similar technology, differing only in details,"

"Penguins and transit vans are very similar things, differing only in details"

Me fail English? Unpossible.


"..isn't generally assessed as being able to mount a nuke on a missile yet. A successful Taepodong-2 test, however, would be a further step toward such a capability"

Umm.. How does testing a new ICBM (MRBM, more like) get them any closer to solving the major engineering issues around turning a 3-ton engineering device into a 450Kg nosecone-shaped weapon? One doesn't lead to the other. The issue isn't a lack of suitable missiles, it's managing to turn a reliable nuclear weapon into a much, much more compact and resilient package.

"After all, the much better funded and successful Iranian Safir-2 launcher is little more than a rebadged (oh god I hate typing this word) Taepodong-2."

Little more? I think you need to review the recent Omid launch... Quite a bit more than a rebadged Scud stack, I think.

Sony Ericsson to reduce handset range by 20 per cent

Bob Gender
Jobs Halo

It's a funny old game

At least Nokia finally got the E-series and N-series teams talking to each other, and Motorola finally understood that hardware and software should be designed in co-operation with each other.

SE handset range is insane though, even taking into account the need to have low-, mid- and high-end handsets across both prepay and contract and the fact that they run Cyber-shot, Walkman and now XPeria sub-brands 73 is a bit much.

Screwgle™ - Google's new ad revenue model

Bob Gender

FFS Cuil

"As usual, The Register missed to boat on Cuil. Maybe by next week The Register will actually notice them and announce it."

Yes, because the register should always announce when a new search engine fueled entirely by hot air, plugs and shameless self-promotion (I can't turn around without seeing them mentioned today, a side-effect of the management ancestry I guess) launches. You do know that a REVOLUTIONARY NEW SEARCH ENGINE launches daily, no?

FFS, for most of the day they were serving "No results found for blah blah" because they hadn't worked out that when their search servers fell over under load, "Umm, we're really busy" would be a better message than "we're shit at search". On the day they were running around PRing themselves to Hell.


PS white search box (that doesn't have a cursor in by default) on a black background? Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh. I prefer the at-least-we're-honest godawful green and cyan colour scheme at tripleme.com.

HP shatters excessive packaging world record

Bob Gender

As I was going to St Ives...

I met a man with an HP EULA.

How many boxes were going to St Ives?

US sees first airliner flight with laser defences

Bob Gender

Now with pics!


That's just crying out for a caption contest.

Bob Gender


Also worth pointing out that most (if not all) MANPADs are pretty poor at shooting down a multi-engine passenger jet. You'd tend to end up with a shredded engine and ~300 stained pairs of pants, but as we saw with the DHL jet at Baghdad in around 2005, it's pretty hard to take out an entire jet with an SA-7 or similar.

Bob Gender

First US flight?

What about El Al? They've been packing bobby-dazzlers* since at least 2002.

*Oh, if I ran an arms emporium..

HD TV in the UK

Bob Gender

Very comprehensive

Except you forgot to mention that XBox Live offers a range of HD films, on a rental basis. Has done for months, actually.

I don't use it much (well, once actually - when I first got my HDTV it was the only HD source I had, and I was disappointed to find out that The Matrix only had a Pro-Logic soundtrack but at the same price as Blockbuster there's no reason to leave your house providing you have fast-ish broadbeans.

And then of course there's a world of free HD downloads out there if you're prepared to hook a PC* up to your TV and get torrenting. Allegedly.

*Windows Media Centre still sucks balls though - roll on XBMC on x86...

Orange prices up iPhone en France

Bob Gender

@Rotten oranges

Try www.esato.com - pretty much all SonyEricssons can be "debranded" for free, or at most €6 at home through a software solution.

You need to change the CDA to /1, and then use SE Update Service from memory.

Heathrow T5 security tackles Transformers t-shirt threat

Bob Gender


One can't help but notice that he looks somewhat.... Swarthy?

Not that anybody's profiling, oh no!

The New Order: When reading is a crime

Bob Gender

@ Delaney

"I wouldn't chance being in posession of a copy... would you?"

Too fucking right I would. This isn't a fascist police state and I'm innocent until proven guilty. I refuse to self-censor, and I refuse to be required to keep track of what's "good" reading material and what's "ungood".

DVLA, Tiscali, Barclays rake in phoneline cash

Bob Gender
Thumb Up

We stopped using them

We went for an 0870 number a while ago to feign largeness ("clicks 'n' mortar", too), but I decided (since we're in the Telecomms retail field and deal with lots of people on their mobiles) to move back to 01xxx about a year ago - definitely the best option, as it a) shows you have a geographic presence in the UK, b) either counts as minutes from your allowance or isn't barred from your workphone and c) shows that we value customer service above making a few extra K a month.

Petrol stations deploy anti-theft stingers

Bob Gender

Shell, home of the cloner

Having had 2 cards cloned at my local Shell petrol station (along with 3 or 4 friends), can I fit spikes to my card that impale the hand of the skimmer when they do their under-the-counter maneuver?

MS bashes Gay(wood) Xbox Live gamer

Bob Gender

What was wrong with...


George Bush's nephew is called "Pierce", by the way.

PS3 update fails to fix Grand Theft Auto IV woes

Bob Gender


I'm supposed to be working from home today but now I'm going to find it impossible not to fire up the [REDACTED] and play some Free Play online..


Lewis Hamilton and friend targeted in computer blackmail plot

Bob Gender


Quick, Call Stefan Eriksson! We've found his driver!

Kiwi airliners converted into giant iPod docks

Bob Gender
Thumb Up


"Air New Zealand will equip eighteen of its airliners with in-flight entertainment rigs allowing iPod users to play their video on seatback screens, listen to audio through the aircraft system, and control their plane via the device's interface."

Rock Group goes titsup

Bob Gender
Thumb Up


I have around 25 biros on/in my desk, but I haven't seen a cap for any of them in months... Fancy a trade?

Bob Gender

Gambling sites

If I buy a used car and it turns out to have been stolen, I lose the car.

So when are the gambling sites going to be refunding Rock's creditors?

Boris backs weed for pain relief

Bob Gender
Thumb Down


Why is it that people assume that change is always a good thing?

A fresh turd is still not preferable to a wilted rose.

Windows Server 2008 is better than Vista, but why?

Bob Gender

Media Center?

Does 2K8 have a media center?

Windows Vista update 'kills' USB devices

Bob Gender
Gates Horns

No, really, how is anyone defending this thing?

"1. People who have never tried it and just like bandwaggoning.

2. People who tried it for an hour maybe, and decided that they didn't like it based on things like UAC that can be turned off in 10 seconds or so.

3. People who buy sub-standard hardware and expect it to run."

I've been running it for 6 months on a Core2Duo with 4Gb of RAM and a XT2600 HD video card, with UAC turned off - as a media centre, under my HDTV - and it sucks balls.

Media Centre is an unresponsive piece of crap (what, you want to see a list of files in "My Videos", instead of thumbnails? Tough!), my Xbox 360 won't read the music from Vista unless I hack the registry (convergence, we've heard of it), the fonts are all over the place at 1920x1080, the hard drive is constantly thrashing even when I'm watching a film over LAN (yes, indexing service and every other service is turned off - Resource Monitor or whatever helpfully reports that "System32.dll" [iirc] is using all the HDD bandwidth)




Really, you can't look at Vista and say "yup, a lot of thought went into this". I'm pretty far from a usability expert but even I come up with 15 ways to make common tasks more obvious every time I use it.

Looking at how much I spent on my hardware, and how much better it is than my last PC purchase (PIII 1Ghz with 512Mb!!!) I can't see where my money went, and am considering sticking Mythbuntu or OSX or even XP on it, just so I can enjoy my expenditure.

Kent bloke buried under 3,000 congestion charge receipts

Bob Gender

Computer says no

"This comes back to one of my pet peeves: that putting "systems" in place stops people using judgement. Instead of asking "is this person a pervert who'll interfere with the children?", or "I think we want to keep half an eye on X, don't you?" we have progressed to "All the system checks are OK, so we're covered"."

My favourite is credit scoring, whereby the bank that holds my loan can refuse to extend the loan because I don't meet their criteria - despite the fact the monthly payments (never missed) would remain the same and I earn twice what I did when I took the loan out (and for a FTSE 100 company rather than for a sole trader).

I, for one, look forward to welcoming our Skynet system overlords. At least I can run around with laser cannons shooting them then.

Mine's the DJ.

Wikileaks exposes Scientology's zeal to 'clean up rotten spots of society'

Bob Gender

Another cult with similar methods

"I think it is very well known that when ever an article about this pseudo religion goes up on any site, their amry of Lord Xeenu fanboys will flock to the available comments section in order to prove to everyone that their legally approved factets show that we are all dumb and they are all correct."

Did you know you can actually get a widget that tells you when anything judged either pro-palestinian or anti-zionist is posted, so sufficient numbers of rightwing wackjobs can go and crowd out the comments with "ur an antisemite!!1" posts?

Did you know the Vatican has the world's oldest intelligence agency?

I've always held a mixed opinion of LRH; on the one hand him (and his brethren) are scum who bilk the gullible and sick, but on the other hand he found a business plan that worked.

I'm in TCR this weekend, might stop by and see if the girl with the gasmask and the cracking ahem T-shirt from enturbulation.org is outside.

Smiley face because I'm an OT-3 and Tom lends me Katie every now and again, and also because Scarlett failed his audition.

Foreign losses jack UK plastic fraud up to £535.2m

Bob Gender


Cryptome.org posted the industry-only brief in this a couple of weeks ago - keep up at the back.

I've had 2 bank (ie debit) cards ripped off in the last 3 months, have to say that Smile were very nice about it (instantly reversed all the transactions over the phone) whereas Barclays made me fill out forms, and review my own statements, and said that more charges may appear in the future.

Needless to say I'm still waiting for PayPal to refund me.

Anyhoo, as a result I have now switched to using a credit card exclusively online (they shoulder the risk and refunds are instant) and a Tuxedo prepaid card (or more likely cash) offline. My debit cards have been cancelled and replaced by cashpoint-only cards.

Chip And Pin (aka "Fuck you, liability isn't with us any more!!!11") led me to do this - thanks, APACs!

Valentines to reflect CNP intro date

Restored Vulcan hits financial turbulence

Bob Gender


Isn't there a Star Trek film underway? Can anyone say "cross promotion"?

Mine's the Buzz Rickson MA-1...

US satellite-shoot effort seeds conspiracy theory storm

Bob Gender

@Charles Manning

"Sidenote: Funny watching the pots and kettles... When China shot a satellite it was a BadThing according to the US because it would make space junk etc etc. Shoe is on the other foot now."

Apples and bowling balls - China's shot put debris into orbits where it'll remain for centuries, and they did it unannounced. This is much, much lower and even those against it concede that all the modelling shows debris persisting for less than 30 days.

Y'all should read this:


Also thermal transfer is a strange thing (ever had baked alaska? What's the melting point of ice cream?) so it's entirely plausible the tank would make it down semi intact, but again the chances of this thing hitting populated dry ground are miniscule.

Bob Gender



Picture of it. I for one welcome our new chilli-shaped UFO overlords.

On a serious note, pictures have consistently failed to show solar panels which indicates several possibilities; it has them and they failed to deploy, they're shielded to be invisible from Earth, it has a Plutonium-powered RTG power source or it uses a shitload of D-cells.

The fact is that shooting this thing down poses a risk to the ISS of the order of 1000-1 (from NASA), much greater than the chances of fatalities on the ground, so someone's working from a risk/reward calculation we're not party to.

Bob Gender

This is not a drill!

It's a satellite!

Anyhoo, this is an excellent test of the SM-3 (Standard Missile 3! Love them complicated acronyms) coupled with the X-Band oil rig they have somewhere between dry dock in Hawaii and on station off Alaska, given that the closing velocities will be around 9.8Km/sec and the SM-3 has only ever intercepted at 6km or so.

I'm not a fan of orbitally-delivered hydrazine slush puppies, or aliens from out space ZOMG!!1, but still this seems very excessive given the moral high ground they've been claiming over the ChiComms since their own little (unnanounced, higher and more dangerous) fireworks party.

Skull 'n' Crossbones for the 0.007 people this hydrazine will kill on average.