* Posts by Paul Smith

28 publicly visible posts • joined 15 Feb 2008

Fanboi co. punts half-price Mac mini memory

Paul Smith

If they'd suggested Crucial...

..they couldn't have come up with such a childish title though.

Nude Apple iMac pics leaked to web

Paul Smith


Seems like a lot of work to get a non glossy screen!

Apple Mac-sprucing bores fanbois

Paul Smith
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In denial pricing.

£650 for a useable version of the Mac mini?

Somebody pass today's Financial Times to Apple.

Reg Reader poll on notebook quality: results are in

Paul Smith


Love em, never had one break down and pretty Linux friendly in my exp too, just wish we had a proper (and sensibly priced) web configuration shop thing like the US, or Dell UK. It's very frustrating having to wade through a million hardware variations at Insight, and still not find the model you KNOW exists.

Hardware / software surveys, they've long been tainted by a very strange breed of crusader. Sony owners trying to justify excessive cost, Apple owners trying to 'belong', boys that have managed to boot an Ubuntu live CD considering themselves hardcore UNIX. Worst of all, weirdos that haven't even tried the product and are just brainwashed by the life-style marketing. Seriously, it's like walking in to a school yard circa 1985 and asking 'Spectrum or Commodore'?

Course, I didn't see the the survey in the first place, it was probably burried amongst stories 'bout jesus shaped dog shit, celebrities with fannies, and of course all the other reader surveys.

World's 'smallest, lightest' laptop launches

Paul Smith
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@ Andrew Garrard

I'm not sure what phones you've been dreaming about, but the iPhone is about 165 dpi, the Nokia N96 is less than that.

The reason no one brought up the >245 dpi of this thing is because we didn't think you'd need it spelling out again. Your 'phone' might have smaller pixels, but when was the last time you put it on a table and typed on it? Take your imaginary phone, install Windows on it, install a few applications that were designed for 83 dpi, hold it 20" away from your eyes, have a little think about what you've seen, then come back and we'll continue the conversation.

Were you planning on strapping this device to your face? In public?

ICO tears school CCTV a new peephole

Paul Smith

CCTV has taken all the fun...

...out of hiding people's stuff.

Unless of course your the only one that knows how to operate the DVR.

Shoes? I haven't seen your shoes!

Let me check ...nope, nothing on the cams.

Mobile heavyweights mass to get Carter over 2Meg for all

Paul Smith

@ K

I have absolutely no idea how it compares to putting your mouth on an arsehole and sucking, but I do find latency doesn't make much difference when using the 'web.

Having the service disconnect, over and over and over, just as your filing your tax return is fcking fantastic though.

Thanks for that, 3. I didn't want to get to bed or anything.

Large Hadron Timewaster

Paul Smith
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And don't let us see you posting your stories round here again, me lad.

Acer intros 10in Aspire One netbook

Paul Smith

Blah Blah Blah

Same toss every time: someone bitching that it doesn't have a 7”, 1920x1200 screen and runs the most popular OS. Ooooh, 10 inches, I won't be able to lift it! Now complaining that it has more than 8GB storage and a battery that lasts all day? WTF is that all about?

And this crap about 'your supposed to have another, bigger computer at home'; say's who, Intel? Have you tried thinking that through? 1.6 Ghz/ 2GB/ 160GB *is* a proper computer, it’s more powerful than the four y/old Thinkpad I run my business on and not everyone wants to fanny around syncing machines the way you or I do. What do you do when your daughter goes off to university? “Here you go dear, we got you a lovely netbook for your homework, fits nicely in your bag ....oh, and you'd better take this 25KG Quad Core tower and 24" monitor with you too, just in case you need to do more than piss about on facebook.”

Stand near the high street displays for 30 seconds; listen to what netbook customers are asking staff for. They don't want a screen they can't read, hardly any want Linux and they'll bring them back when they find a SSD is too small to store anything on. Just because they don't buy the lower spec Linux models you prefer, doesn't mean they're idiots. They do know what they want, believe it or not.

Who reads The Register?

Paul Smith
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Do let us know ...

what percentage bothered past page two!

With pie charts and everything.

Crash survivor Twitters from burning plane (false)

Paul Smith

@ NukEvil

Open your back pocket dictionary and look up the word Twittering, you'll see it's not actually a made up word. Twittering: Rapidly speaking high-pitched, trivial, shit.

US Navy's robot stealth carrier plane unveiled

Paul Smith


that they're worshipping it by candle light.

Before Pong, there was Computer Space

Paul Smith

Comes in Red, Blue, Yellow and Soylent Green.

The yellow one looks like some Sesame Street inspired nightmare.

A380 too quiet, moan Emirates pilots

Paul Smith

Staff only door?

Stick an 'Exit, Mind the Step' sign on there. As for the noise, I've slept in shipping containers with lads using stihl saws outside but baby yowling really is worse, usually creeping into your dream as some kinda alien cat monster. Didn't they ban carry-on babies along with liquids, books and shoes?

iPhone lights a fire

Paul Smith

@ glenn

"content no longer available", just seems to do that when you leave it for a while. Refresh the page and the embedded 'tube video will be alright again.

Tesla exec quits as rival clocks up major deals

Paul Smith

That's right Karma..

..face the wall, you Joker mouthed monster.

Asus Eee PC S101 luxury netbook

Paul Smith

@ 1280x800 on 8", 9" or 10".

I'm sure 170 dpi would be pretty unusable for many people. It'd be no use at all for the applications I keep on my Thinkpad, unless I strapped the screen to my face.

You can certainly change the font sizes in a browser, but not everything is adjustable. What about the web sites that have sections of text written on .gifs? My bank would be unreadable for a start. Setting the OS dpi to compensate would drop any benefit gained from the extra res' in the first place, and as before, this doesn't work with everything.

Oh, and the VIA CPUs used in the HPs are particularly shit. Let's not get carried away with what these things can do just yet.

US Dept of Agriculture rubbishes Amish anti-RFID push

Paul Smith
Black Helicopters

Holy Cow!

Some group: 'We don't want to tag our cows.'

USDA: 'Calm down, you don't have to.'

Clear-cut example of Jackbooted Owellian oppression, right there. I'm actually painting it on to a banner in my own blood as we speak.

NASA's CO2-scan sat arrives at launch site

Paul Smith


Of course it was a joke; we see piss-poor variations of it after every CO2 story, making it instantly recognisable. Complaining that somebody called Evil doesn't laugh every single time is a bit surprising though.

Reg readers in Firefox 3 lovefest

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Dumb and Dumber.

FF has had me worried ever since Mozilla decided that when I type w into the address bar on my laptop it should:




Awesome indeed.

I also now use -f switched shutdown after a beautiful example of taking time off work / coming back to find FF3 asking: 'Are you sure? Wouldn't you like your browser to keep you logged in to Windows and your encrypted volume of security systems, banking and accounting details?' Aye, I was sure.

But I'll put up with anything rather than go back to flash overlays covering what I'm reading like some insane clown and monkeys asking to be punched.

Handheld games console three-way shoot-out

Paul Smith

Oh Brave New World that has...

Once upon a time, handheld computer game round-ups in November were assumed to be buying guides for parents. For the posters arguing that nobody reviewed next year's 'haven't actually been invented yet' toys, toys that play telnet and rsync, or brown corduroy toys that make a political statement, I can only assume you like the sound of children crying on Christmas day.

Perhaps you think you can justify playing 'Lego Toilet Puppies II: Scoopy Doo' yourself as a 20, 30 or 40 something commuter, but really.. trust me on this, you WILL look like an immature twat.

T-Mobile launches 3G broadband sharing station

Paul Smith
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Can also be done using Draytek Vigor kit. I've tried it on '3' with about the results suggested by Nipsirc, above.

Netbooks and Mini-Laptops

Paul Smith


There must be somebody here using 3's Huawei with Linux on these. I use XP on my Thinkpad and find the 'My Three' log-in page doesnt work with Firefox, only IE. So how are you keeping track of data usage in Linux?

Western Digital's 2.5-inch to hit 1TB by early 2010

Paul Smith
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Hitachi have a 5400rpm 500GB up on Dabs, noticed a couple of weeks ago. 78 squids.

iPod Touch, Nano disassemblies reveal surprises

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The reason I don't use something bulky and fragile like the Touch for music is because I run and bike; surely it's not the most obvious device for this kind thing. Why would it have a pedometer?

Are posers strapping these to their arms/legs/face outside the North East? Is there another kind of running I haven't tried, one that doesn't involve much bouncing or tripping over dogs?

I can just imagine £hundreds of sparkling glass and metal scraping along the road behind me, people gasping.

Nuke-nobbling US laser jumbo fires test beams

Paul Smith

Pew! Pew!

@ J-Wick

Thanks man.

One post to rule them all!

Police likely to ignore Brown's cannabis changes

Paul Smith
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The most dangerous thing...

...I've ever seen anyone do on smoke is go to the shop for some Jaffa Cakes.

It's not like they rampage round the town on a weekend smashing windows, fighting and pissing in the streets.

Lenovo ThinkPad T61

Paul Smith

Black and chunky.

In photographs both the R61 and T61 have two completely different cases each. I can only guess that the 14" case has ports at the front (annoying) and a new squared look, 15" has them at the sides. They really do make buying these as complicated as possible.



This a is a business machine; I don't need to plug a video camera into the front and portrait format applications should take preference over DVDs where possible. Unfortunately the panel makers are all tooled up for this format now and - they reckon - other markets are too small to be worth bothering with.

We're being dragged along by the sheeple!

-YouTube button on T62 it is then.