Posts by oxo

NASA explores 'Curiosity' for nuclear-powered Mars rover

Send your name to Mars

Why oh why would we want to do that?

London stab murder rate entirely normal, says top stats prof

Just..

Just cos it's normal for London doesn't make it acceptable.

Traumatised Tibetan monks offered singing bowl therapy

No need

Is there any need to take the piss out of this?

BBC pumps 60 quid a head into Gaelic

I have an idea

Given that it's the scots we're talking about here, I'd bet that all the gaelic speakers would rather have a £60 discount on the license fee, and no gaelic channel.

US Army working on 'exploding marmalade' missile tech

Not Marmalade -you're just being funny

But I would say that a thixotropic gel would be just the ticket.

OXO

(ex-rocket scientist)

Boffin seeks $300,000 to build eight-wheel 230mph EV

Hmmm

Looks like a Citroen DS to me.

'Miracle' plane crash was no miracle

Brainless as usual

"the one passenger who turned on his cell phone so his GPS could be used to locate his body"

How exactly would that work, as his GPS is not a transmitter..?

UFO wind turbine prang site sealed

Well..

I for one welcome our new windmill-smashing overlords.

Boffins offer plastic printing service

This is not new

See

http://fabathome.org/wiki/index.php?title=Main_Page

ASA slaps beer-punting ladyboy

Damn..

Oh shit, the twatfromMars is back

Oz driver pulled with todger in pasta sauce jar

Reminds me of "Desparately Seeking Susan"

"What's the Jack Russel for"?

World's first AI birth achieved using frozen rhino sperm

:O

I'm thinking that I'd not want to be the one tasked with collecting the sperm..

BMW unwraps electric Mini

"higher amperage charge"

There's no such thing.

I assume you mean Current.

Today is not Hadron Collider Day

Cross the beams

Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.

Dr. Peter Venkman: What?

Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?

Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.

Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm a little fuzzy on the whole "good/bad" thing here. What do you mean, "bad"?

Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.

Dr. Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal!

Hadron boffins: Our meddling will not destroy universe

Nice one Lewis..

However, if a "wavefront of nonexistence would spread out only at light speed", then you hardly be able to see it coming would you?

Intel bets millions on speedy DNA sequencing chips

Am I a bit thick or summat?

"There's also no better way to show your significant other you care than firming up the odds of her getting cancer."

Eh?

iPhone will ship in green packaging

@Edward

"Remeber when Paris Hilton was the ONLY thing you reported on for about two months?"

Ah the good old days :)

Hey reg hacks, how about a few more PH items?

Veteran climate scientist says 'lock up the oil men'

I remember the saying...

"There's no fool like an old fool"

Dog collared with Cat-5 cable

eBay

I believe the standard ElReg term for this is "online tat bazaar"

'Humvee of the Skies' robot air-car design unveiled

Ha ha ha ha ha

Exhaust gas recirculation seems like a great way to make it fall out of the sky (assuming it can get there in the first place)

Paris, because she knows when to blow and when to suck...

Navy sonar dolphin 'massacre' - the facts

Explosions in the area

My sister lives a few miles from there and she told me there were a number of loud explosions at the time of this incident.

Apple takes the operator's shilling

Get Real

"No end customer ever asked for a phone with a camera or Bluetooth."

You really believe this? Sheesh...

O2 prices up the latest iPhone

Can you find out -

How much on Payg? The O2 website says it will be offered.

Aussie droid planes in Barbados hurricane probe

300 feet?

It'll be mighty turbulent down there, and some amazing downdraughts too.

I'd be surprised if they make it back from this mission.

Boeing raygunship fires first blasts in ground testing

PMSL

Thanks for this line :)

"The secret raygun project couldn't resist a hint as to where they got their new technology"

Brennan JB7 Micro Jukebox

I'd buy one if..

.. it had network support. Not just for tracks from my PC, but for internet radio.

Phones 4u accused of misleading customers

Gits the lot of them

P4U sold my other half and 18 month 3G contract on the 3 network, despite the fact that there is no coverage where we live. They told her there was ;(

When she went back and complained, they simply set the phone to only find GSM networks.

Grrr..

You'll learn to love mobile TV

Cat Keynes

Ah, I was at school with her brother Milton.

Dull sort of chap..

coat etc...

Nokia confirms 'iPhone killer' handset in pipeline

S60 ? Oh dear

"Unconfirmed reports suggest Nokia's would-be iPhone killer will run on the Symbian S60 platform."

That'll mean that bluetooth connection and contact sync to cars will be broken then, just like the N95.

Send your loved one's ashes to the Moon for $10k

Bonkers

In these green times, shouldn't we ask if this is a worthwhile use of fuel?

Transgender man prepares to give birth

Yeah, but

It's a woman giving birth, not a man.

Gilded Perkins puts ego yacht up for sale

Who are these people?

And more to the point: Who f-ing cares?

US mistakenly sent nuke-ICBM parts to Taiwan in 2006

@ Matt

"It's a bit like Star Trek, if I were in charge the first two things I'd do would be to turn off the holo-deck and turn off Data."

Er, right.

DARPA releases 'Blackswift' hyperplane details

Barrel rolls

A barrel roll cannot be done in *any* aircraft by sole use of ailerons.

A barrel roll requires positive g throughout, including when the aircraft is inverted. This is accomplished by pulling back on the stick to generate increased g, and also needs a higher than normal entry speed to the maneouver.

Nokia gets the upper hand in global IPR wrestle with Qualcomm

and while I'm at it..

"despite holding far less IPR assets there"

fewer IPR assets, not less.

Onyx Liscio micro mobile phone

Why pay more?

It's £60 on ebay

Apple sued over iPhone caller ID

Get a grip you lot

This guy invented caller ID lookup in 1988, patented it, then licensed it to the major phone companies.

Years later another phone maker comes to the market and decides it doesn't want to pay him for his invention which has become now so successful that *everybody* thinks it is obvious.

Well they do have a choice.. Either license his invention, or don't use it.

That's it. Nothing else to get excited about. It's just another day in patent licensing.

Asus Eee PC gives Sony the willies

Ya, but it's an Asus

It'll be in the bin in 6 months. My Sony TR-MP5 is still going strong after years of use.

Gov boffins to carry out simulated London dirty bombing

@ Which Gas

It's given on the website linked in the article.. perfluorocarbons

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfluorocarbon

Nokia unwraps bendy nanotech phone

Wow.. looks like a Goa'uld hand device

Will it be able to do mind torture if you have a well charged battery?

Map paints gloomy picture of world's oceans

Hmmm

"...synthesized global data on human impacts ..."

Do they mean they made it all up, or is there some other definition of synthesis I don't know about?

Nothing synthetic about Paris.

Enraged vegan spitroasts Reg hack

Take care mate...

A brief google shows she is one of those mad animals rights type people. She is also married, which I find even more amazing!

Dead Bird seems appropriate as an icon

Big Climate's strange 'science'

@Paul Fleetwood

CO2 is not a pollutant. In fact, life on this planet depends on it.

Chinese smartphone imitates sincerely flatters Palm Centro

Nonsense !

It looks different enough to me.

eBayer invites buyers to rip him off

It's been updated..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On 08-Feb-08 at 01:24:50 GMT, seller added the following information:

I AM SORRY BUT I HAVE HAD TO CANCEL THIS AUCTION. THE MAIN REASON IS THREATENING EMAILS I AM GETTING AND ALSO THE FACT THAT EBAY WILL CLEARLY BID THIS UPTO £10M AND THEN TRY AND DO ME FOR THE FEES.

I HAD NO IDEA THIS AUCTION WOULD GET THE GLOBAL RESPONSE IT HAS AND ITS JUST A SHAME THAT EBAY WOULD RATHER THREATEN ME THAN ENGAGE ITS CUSTOMERS – BUT I GUESS THAT’S JUST THE WAY LIFE IS THESE DAYS.

I WOULD LIKE TO WISH EVERYONE ALL THE VERY BEST AND I HOPE TO SEE AS MANY OF YOU AS POSSIBLE ON PLACES LIKE WWW.TAZBAR.CO.UK GO ON, GIVE THEM YOUR SUPPORT. ONE OF US MAKES NO DIFFERENCE – THOUSANDS MAY DO, MILLIONS WILL!

SORRY FOR ENDING THIS EARLY, HOPE YOU ALL UNDERSTAND WHY I HAD TO.

ANYONE WHY STILL WANTS TO BUY THE LAPTOP PLEASE SEE MY AUCTION ON WWW.TAZBAR.CO.UK