Posts by Steven

Airbus jets could be converted to fuel-cell propulsion

Yes, but

If the plane was on a treadmill... never mind.

Vote now for your fave sci-fi movie quote

"I Must Not Fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the small death that brings total oblivion"

Dune. (Earthworm Jim).

Student taser victim spared electric chair

"I am a far more reasoned individual than I was a short while ago"

That's electric shock therapy in action there, and can be delivered to your doorstep by people in smart uniforms. Nice. I'll be keeping my questions, all questions, succinct from here on in. Unless I can get into that S&B society.

Red Arrows Olympic 'ban' causes online furore

@Sir Runcible Spoon

I've long been in favour of basic reasoning tests to qualify for a vote. Yes, I realise that everybody deserves to have a say in their representative but if that individual is too stupid to understand what is being said what's the point in counting their vote?

@Ian,

We're not bad at everything, think we're still topping the European Teen Pregnancy rates! Go Britain! We should be so proud of these fertile throwbacks.

Rise of the f*cking machines: Arse Elektronika bumps uglies with Web 2.0

Johnny Five is alive!!

... And this time he's horny as hell!

Do they need help with marketing this?

So, what's the first rule of Reg Club?

First rule

The BOFH stories do NOT need to be commented on.

'Happy slapping' vids prompt Brown to push net filters

@Julian Cook

"For those of you who disagree you only enable an environment that allows for paedophiles to commit crime"

Excellent way to stifle the debate, thanks for that.

The problem as I see it is that the internet is a global phenomenon. Countries, as we can see, have different laws to one another (whether they be duly elected democracies, i.e. UK vs US gambling laws, OR unelecected dictatorships) and surely those countries have the right to choose what content the subjects that they represent* should see. Filtering at the national level seems to be the only workable solution to the "big" problems. As for what your children are able to see, well as the argument has always gone with the television - there's always the off switch, little Johnny will have to actually use a pen *gasp* to do his homework at the *gasp* library.

*deliberately didn't say "elected" here as democracy isn't the be-all-end-all of solutions imho.

Cadbury bows to 'bring back Wispa' net campaign

I should get out more

Checked 16p against the RPI and it should come out as about 39p at todays money (figures include tax). Obviously I didn't factor in any movements in the cocoa bean/milk markets.

I'd like to throw my (not inconsiderable and getting less inconsiderable by the snack) weight behind the Coconut Boost campaign. I'd also like Vic and Bob back to advertise them.

Jason Bourne disses James Bond

The sound of a director disappearing up his own backside

"It's about essence and truth"

Of course it is. Anyway the difference between the two films is that Bond has some comedic relief meaning it appeals to a wider audience. Got to say I prefer the Bourne films.

As for imperialism, I should point out the sceptics still use miles, gallons etc. so they're as imperial as the Brits ever were. Oh, I think I missed the point there.

And as for the monogomy comment, Bond wouldn't have lasted for quite so many films if you had to look at the same woman, no matter how beautiful, again and again and again and again and again - look at Brad and Jennifer... maybe.

Upskirting Dutch bloggers head for court

@Goldie - Time for a reg poll?

""Firstly, why is the damned bot still posting? Will no-one at El Reg remove his nonsense?"

Seconded. It's incoherent gibberish - even Hunter S. Thompson would be embarrassed to put his name to it."

"Glad it not just me who finds it annoying."

Right. First, seconded and carried. It's a motion that should be put to the vote. Some post tat on here... for example any comment about the BOFH is completely unnecessary - we all know it's great... but this stuff is just drivel. Yes I *know* i don't have to read it but scanning down a thread of insightful or useful commentary and you get that "look at my random capitalising" nonsense, it's just so disappointing.

Doctor Who signs up thinking man's crumpet

No matter how many stars they sign up

I'm not going to be watching that series while the talent void that is Tate is on it. Worst casting ever (and I'm including every film with Andie MacDowell in that list). Bulldog chewing a wasp.

I'll be watching the one with Kylie in it though, obviously. No point cutting off your nose to spite your face, is there?

Pipex invites customer to get 'c**ted'

@Patrick - Not a word?

It's certainly used where I come from following the long tradtion of adding "ed" to pretty much any word to get another word for drunk - see trolleyed, wasted, bladdered, f*cked, and indeed c*nted. While I admit adding a number to the end makes it less of a word, in this text age it would go: "Do u know who paid for taxi, or were u c*nted2?"

As for the quality of journalism, most sites are blocked at my work so it's nice to be able to read adult-oriented content and tat about z-list celebrities as well as the healthy dose of tech stuff!

Right, back to podball.

Finnish Football, LA riot journo join attack on YouTube

Big business fails to learn from others mistakes

When big music got their knickers in a twist about music file sharing they got all litigious as well. Rather than thinking "hey, it seems people actually want to watch a 30 second highlight of their team scoring a goal on a saturday without paying for a 12 month subscription to see them - I wonder how we can make it easy and cheap for them so they don't have to do it unlawfully" they just try and stop it (or even more lazily just say "thanks for showing that to everyone - give us some money").

Google must have known that all these company lawyers were just sitting there waiting for the deal to go through so they could chase them for money, i'm just surprised they didn't have this "fingerprinting" system ready to impose from the moment they took it over.

I do wonder how many companies going after YouTube will turn round in a few years time (or less) and ask them to do some sort of pay-per-view hosting for them - it's a fantastic channel to get their product out through. I just hope they get told to get knotted.

Jordan names sprog 'Princess Tiaamii'

Spudúliké

"It's exo-ic!". Very little difference between these two and "the Slobs" of Harry Enfield fame.

What's al-Qaeda's take on the iPhone?

It's all just so disappointing

I used to think that the people who read this esteemed pulblication were all bright and witty individuals but yet again we see a case for the flashing gif "it's a joke". I weep.

Also, is there any chance you can just not publish the "What's the IT angle" and "I love/hate apple" posts because they're boring the crap out of me. The fact that people can be bother to write these inane comments is just depressing.

UK invades California in cyber MMORPG wargame

Why not invite other countries to play

Phone up Kim Jong il and tell him we're planning to invade. He hooks up to the network, has a bit of a barney and then at the end of each week we tally up the losses on each side and agree to dipsose of them humanely in a kind of gentleman's agreeement. I think I may have seen this somewhere before (Star Trek). It's a great idea and the only way that IT is ever likely to become a reserved occupation.

Space boffins fire up plasma engine

I'm just wondering

How these guys would do at that Physics GCSE I was readnig about yesterday and/or whether they'll be taking on any British students who've passed said challenge. It's not all about numbers and equations remember...

Paris Hilton goes down for 23 days

Do we know which other "celebs" will be in there with her?

Because even if it's just coppers and politicians it would still be a better batch that the last celelbrity BB. I imagine they have security cameras everywhere as well so surely it would just be a case of streaming it to some channel or other and people would be riveted. The question is whether the phone votes go to their release or towards them going to the chair. I guess any italian inmates would choose the latter.

Brit cuffed for German towel-torching raid

Or..y'know the brits could get up earlier

It's an annoying habit but both Brits and Germans do this, last time I saw it in action the British were putting down towels on their way back from the pubs and clubs VERY early in the morning. God bless this sceptred Isle.

Sir Alan Sugar unveils East End supercomputer

Not sure I like Alan Sugar

But we seem to agree on the direction computing should be headed. Ideally in the direction of the nation being able to get completely plastered while a computer does my job - just so long as they all have that chip implanted that makes them believe in robot heaven....

Kenneth Williams tops funniest film one-liner poll

Disappointed not to see

"I've been beating off in the shower for so long I get a hard-on when it rains" from Weird Science....

And surely the Cameron Diaz line is more visual.