* Posts by Mathew White

127 publicly visible posts • joined 1 Feb 2008


Judge Dredd 'Black Box' recorder/spy kit for guns unveiled

Mathew White


@%!*& the damn things out of batteries. Who the $%!@ soldered it in!

Animal lovers say no to radioactive NASA monkeys

Mathew White

If only...

If only they had used spider monkeys...

Apple said to have axed Atom support from OS X 10.6.2

Mathew White

Or maybe...

...they aren't going to continue to explore the atom as a platform and have taken their developers off coding support for the atom and have removed it from the next build to stop junk piling up in the system.

I'm sure that you can go download the darwin source and preserve the atom support and compare it with the next version if you worried.

Mozilla's SeaMonkey 2.0 exits cryptobiosis

Mathew White

@ Austin Modine

Does it have prawn browsing mode?

Virginia corrections officers on 'dog fondling' rap

Mathew White

Animal Cruelty?

Did the dog make a complaint or did it leave the officer a $5 tip...

Sony Walkman NWZ-S544

Mathew White


Please place your device on the table while i get the latex glove out. If you bend over it will make this much easier.

Mathew White

Oh Dear

Does is deactivate the speakers when the owner steps on a bus or any other form of public transport?

Otherwise it should come with a health warning, something about random strangers cramming the device in an orifice of their choosing.

Mandy declares 'three strikes' war on illegal file sharers

Mathew White


Do we think that they meant to have c@binate but got distracted by the whale song. (All thought that would read as 'Cat Been Ate" nom nom)

Lucky this is just all noise, so the dark lord can sound as pro rights holders as he wants without any care for implementing such a system as they (Labour) arn't going to be around to do so.

Pig plague? There's an app for that!

Mathew White

Penn And Teller

I believe that Penn and Teller suggest that everyone either rub bumps, or fornicate each other.

Greenpeace wags finger at eco-laggards

Mathew White


Greenpeace can't tell their ass from their elbow. All the serious, sorry - make the qualified, scientists left them when they realises they were a bunch on millitant loonys who have not concept of ecology. They're campaigning for more energy saving light bulbs whilst at the same time demonising computer manufacturers for using mercury in their displays.

I think its fair to say the Greenpeace have cause more ecological disasters than they have ever tried to save.

"Lets go camp on the oil rig to protest, stopping them from safely dismantling it before it leaks oil everywhere! Thats a great idea. What? we just made half the north sea a toxic wasteland... has to be the oil companies fault"


"lets ram the ship of people hunting whales, oh noes - our ship got dented! THEY ATTACKED US!"

Atheists smite online God poll

Mathew White

Deleting entries

The number of votes was close to 200,000, now its 166,464 - and it keeps dropping so I'm guessing they they are gradually doctoring the results/removing duplicates at the same ip.

Re Endorsing, this is part of what the guardian had to say on the alpha course:

"Woman leads church boycott in row over evangelical pig-snorting

A woman has walked out of her church and is holding services in her living room because she says she cannot bring herself to 'snort like a pig and bark like a dog' on a Church of England course. Angie Golding, 50, claims she was denied confirmation unless she signed up for the Alpha course, which she says is a 'brainwashing' exercise where participants speak in tongues, make animal noises and then fall over. Mark Elsdon-Dew of HTB, Holy Trinity Brompton, said the Alpha course included lectures on the Holy Spirit. 'It affects different people in different ways,' he said."

Mathew White


...the silent majority.

Man gets 3 years in clink for eBaying Adobe prods

Mathew White

Fair Dues

I think that its no secret that post people learned photoshop from a pirate copy, however selling pirate software is, in my opinion, unforgivable.

For this same reason I don't intent to publish any software anywhere remotely near china due to their IP laws.

PS: I wonder if his cars are as retro as the software he was peddling, PageMaker 6.5.. tee hee.

Nokia sues Apple over iPhone

Mathew White

Eyeing Apple's Patentes

Im wondering, now Nokia has brought out their large touch screen device, if they are eyeing up some of Apple's patents and want to blackmail Apple into a reciprocal licensing deal.

The fact they have waited 2-3 years to do this is a bit of a joke. If your precious patents are being infringed then you stand up and say so - its not like they wouldn't have noticed within months of the iPhone being released.

In addition the timing of Apple's record stock price and Nokia's record loss just make them look like a desperate company.

Either way, fail Nokia.

Rigid sky-train to fly through magnetic rings on sticks

Mathew White


"Tubular rail would operate as a single rigid train unit that runs through elevated support rings like thread through a series of needles. "

So how does it go around corners?

Also, moving the power source from the rolling stock to the infrastructure is nuts. If 2 hoops in a row go then the whole line has to be closed down. At least you can take a self propelling train off the rails.

WTF is this country called America?

Mathew White

CBA to read the other posts

I made this mistake when visiting Canada. They like you to call it the US or USA.

I wonder if mexicans and people in the southern continent have the same attitude.

But hey - I'm half Canadian so GOOO CANADA! WOOOOP

Steve Ballmer's Windows 7 dance party

Mathew White

Caption competition...

"I knew people said Kylie was short, but isn't she australian?"

Burger King cooks up Windows 7 Whopper

Mathew White

Standard Microsoft...

Thats what i call bloatware.

Telcos double down on netbooks with Windows 7

Mathew White

why yes...

...because offering them with vista would be retarded.

Im still looking forward to people taking their machines back; wondering why they can't change the desktop picture... or did Microsoft back track on that?

Windows 7 - the Reg reader verdict

Mathew White
Thumb Up

@Mark Eaton-Park

And in snow leopard you can type '>console' at the login screen and be done with that pesky GUI!

Mathew White
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Uninstall Competitors Sotware.

"The upgrade process gave me a list of about 5 programs to un-install," he says. "Which I did, it was some drivers, iTunes and the Google Toolbar."

Erm.... I wonder if it tried to uninstall firefox and any oracle apps present as well?

Open source webdesktopmobile kit bear hugs PHP

Mathew White


I built a load of native Mac apps using PHP and Applescript as a wrapper ages ago.

Court kicks YouTube rant missus into touch

Mathew White

Reminds me...

Does she only have 1 leg, lost when hit by a police motor bike?

Microsoft inks Bing pacts with Twitter, Facebook

Mathew White
Gates Halo

Oy Vey

Yet another reason not to have a facebook account.

Im still bemused by M$'s attitude to Bing. But then again - they do lover their bloated, disorganised and overhyped software thats based on another company's engineering.

I gave him a halo, just to be ironic.

Crypto spares man who secretly video taped flatmates

Mathew White

@ David W. RE other post


"On Monday, Part III of the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000 (RIPA) came into effect. Under Section 49 of RIPA Part III, police can serve a notice that requires encrypted data to be "put into an intelligible form" or, in other words, decrypted.

Failure to comply with a Section 49 notice can result in a two-year jail sentence, and failure to hand over an encryption key to the police can result in a five-year sentence."

Wikileaks publishes BNP 'member list' (again)

Mathew White

@Anonymous Coward@celticbuilder

Your forgetting that Labour changed the word 'Polytechnic" to "University" because they saw a bit of paper that said people who when to universities earned more, and thus would give the state more tax. Ho Ho.

Mathew White


If this is, as most people reckon, the list of enquiries - not members then posting it is a bit wrong in my opinion.

If you want to see Julian Assanege's (director of wikilinks) true colours read this article concerning the News of the World, and tell me he isn't a hypocritical, self righteous, fruit-cake. My jaw dropped reading it.


Mathew White

@ AC: British Nutsack Party

"The last time this kind of group gained power, the leader was called Hitler."

No... Last time this kind of group gained power, the leader was called George Bush Jnr.

Republican men hormonally emasculated by US election

Mathew White

Simular to..

I believe the same graph can been seen when you study 2 groups of opposing football supporters.

Whats equally as interesting is that a group of people watching in the pub show changes in their testosterone levels in correlation with their team's players. (offset by the fact that after more than 4 pints you have more oestrogen in your body than a woman).

EU says 3G on GSM now the law

Mathew White

Sell Off

And the government was so looking forward to reselling the GSM frequencies for hundreds of billions of pounds.

Auto thief foiled by guardian satellite

Mathew White


Was the perp called Dave?

Did the car have a synthesised voice in the on board computer?

Did the car say "Im sorry, I cant do that" when asked to keep the throttle open?

I'll get my coat.

Spycatchers accuse nuke boffin of selling secrets to 'Mossad'

Mathew White
IT Angle

Different case

Unlike the previous well publicised FBI sting where an Armenian immigrant was claiming they could sell them super evil rockets that turned out to be him trying to scam the undercover agent, this actually seems to be a genuine case of a person selling 'secrets' to a foreign agency. And information that could potentially lead to a large gaping crater between Tel-Aviv and Tehran.

I find it interesting that America considers Israel as someone it is bad to sell nuke secrets to, considering they practically endorse the Israeli Nuclear Bomb program and its 110+ warheads (A-Bombs i believe) by refusing to acknowledge that they even exits.

Maybe if america put pressure on Israel regarding its nuclear capacity, the Iranians might not be so peeved when the west accuses them of developing nuclear weapons every week. Look at Pakistan and India. Once one was confident that they could anihilate the other should the need arrsise they both chilled out a bit, not much, but a bit. But I digress.

PS: Can we get a end-of-the-world-mushroom-cloud icon Moderatrix? Pretty please.

Freecom Hard Drive XS

Mathew White

Missing design element

They forgot to add the Zip.

UK fatties demand 'hate crime' status for lardo-baiting

Mathew White

Oh the fail.

So does this mean that it will be illegal to charge someone who is in possession of 2 buttocks the volume of small car for an extra seat on an aeroplane?

And what about someone who is 24 stone, don't they have a significantly larger carbon footprint? (no pun intended)

Being at the larger end of the weight scale myself, I think that people shouldn't to try and make the state babysitting them and other people.

The FLAB people seem to think that overweight people should be treated like addicts, not a minority.

Microsoft's Sidekick restoration turns into farce

Mathew White


You entrust your data to a company called 'Danger'. I'd consider that fore warning ;)

Oz driver prangs ute during 'amorous activities'

Mathew White


We need some Bones/CSI style CGI reconstruction...

Danger lurks in the clouds

Mathew White


$100 t-mobile credit for the loss of your last 3 months of business contacts. errmmm... who are you mean to phone?

Sun's online Java shop prepping for business?

Mathew White


Java apps, ick. I'd force feed myself web 2.0 sawdust over it any day of the the week.

Humorously, java was originally penned as a rich media layer for the internet, designed to replace flash. Took em long enough - but better than adobe air....?

Sony claims 'lightest notebook' crown

Mathew White
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Netbook specs, Notebook price...

MP urges Royal Mail rethink on postcode site takedown

Mathew White


Maybe Mr Tom Watson MP might (pure conjecture) have had something to do with the government 's Job Site Plus using this illegal-under-royal-mail's-EULA/terms-and-conditions, in his capacity as 'minister for digital engagement '. If this were the case, coming out on royal mail's side might be a tad embarrassing.


So you think it would be fine for me to go and sell a premium rate phone line for:

"Unique personal assistance of any kind, even if your house is burning or your leg is chopped off, well help!"

... that in fact just forwards the call to 999...? We've paid for the police as taxpayers, why cant someone else make a bit of profit off it eh? The police don't like someone else charging to block their switchboards, oh noes!?

Hotmail phish exposes most common passwords

Mathew White

Brute forcing

So given the data analysed from above, there is an almost 1% chance of guessing the persons password in 3 attempts by going down the list. (100*93/9843)

More if you assume a country of origin.

Tories would take an axe to Labour IT policy

Mathew White

/cry with happyness

<sob> Im so...<sob> happy <sniff> these are tears <hankey> or joy <sniff>

Then again, these are pre manifesto promises from politicians, politicians!, so take the eventual implementation with a big ben sized pinch of salt.

But I'm cautiously optimistic that we will see a move from the monolithic contracts that are in place and so often fail so badly where a more modular approach to projects would serve better.

O2 finds new way to bind iPhone users

Mathew White

3rd party

So when Vodaphone or Orange offer you visual voicemail on, say, a £18 tariff provided you bring your own iPhone; O2 will look a bit stupid.

Apple flounces out of US Chamber on greenhouse gases

Mathew White


QQ /gquit

US military jets to run on weeds, scum & corpse-grease

Mathew White

@Bit Fiddler

Damn you for posting first :)

Palm Pre re-re-introduces iTunes synchronization

Mathew White
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This is just one big publicity stunt and its getting boring.

If palm cared about their users and making a good product they wouldn't insist on making them have sporadic ability to sync with their device, and would instead write their own or buy out one of the third party companies that make syncing utilities. Maybe they should take a page from Apple's book; iTunes was once SoundJam.

Apple Mail and iPhone users get vid-tracked

Mathew White

What about webmail

Does this also effect people who use webmail through a html5 compatible browser?

If so you should update the article with your findings as its much wider in scope than the 5-10% of web users using those clients.

CCTV website recruits video vigilantes

Mathew White
Thumb Down

Saturday night back street cameras

Saturday night back street cameras are gona be popular.

Also, i see a problem with the prize:

"In return, the members will be entered into a crime-fighting league, receiving points for each genuine incident reported. At the end of each month the top scorer will receive a £1,000 cash reward"

"To discourage frivolous reports, users will be allowed three alert messages per month."

So in effect that makes this a lottery, unless for the fact that "fewer than one crime is solved for every 1,000 CCTV cameras deployed" means that they dont expect many people above 0 on the league table...?

Pirate Bay back online and back on Google

Mathew White
Paris Hilton

The irony being...

Its rather ironic, considering that google is probably responsible for putting more people in contact with pirated porn than the pirate bay.

NB: Pirated porn != Pirate porn, aharrrr

Why Paris? ...need I remind everyone/anyone?

MS plasters Ballmer's signature on Windows 7 special edition

Mathew White


"Inside the box, Microsoft has included the aforementioned balloons, which the eagle-eyed among you will recall had been unceremoniously yanked from European Windows 7 parties."

So every signature copy of windows 7 has a "Caution, choking hazard" written prominently on the box...?