* Posts by Ketlan

399 publicly visible posts • joined 29 Jan 2008

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UK's Get Safe Online? 'No one cares' - run the blockbuster ads instead

Ketlan
Meh

Hopeless...

'John Lyons, former crime reduction coordinator at the National Hi-Tech Crime Unit, said the Get Safe Online project had done "little to change attitudes".'

That's because their emails were only sent out occasionally and contained such gems as warning you not to give your passwords to passing strangers and not giving your bank details to any stray Nigerian princesses.

TPG flashes cheeky 'down under' CAPTCHA

Ketlan
Happy

N*gger?

'I was commenting on an Australian news site discussing a story about rascim and I got a CAPTCHA which had the word 'N*gger'. I have the screen shot at home somewhere.'

Is that Randy Marsh?

IT bloke denies trying to shag sheep outside football ground

Ketlan

Ohmigod...

'Ewe a Spurs fan, me hearty?'

I've only just realised - it must be national pirate day. Again, already? Oh, God.....

I, for one, welcome our robotic communist jobless future

Ketlan
Unhappy

Re: Oh,ffs...@Ketlan

Similar points made, but Tim was rather more polite than you. What a shame - some of the points you made were actually interesting but who can be bothered to debate with someone who calls them a berk (and we all know what THAT means) simply for having a different view.

Ketlan
Thumb Down

Oh,ffs...

'But we don't have monopoly capitalism: we have capitalism combined with free markets.'

That, frankly, is bollocks. What we have is the "appearance" of a free market, nothing more. Shop around a bit (particularly in utilities) and the monopolies become obvious. Wherever one shops for rail travel, gas, electricity or water supply, telephone lines, mobile phone deals and, to a large extent, access to the internet, costs to the consumer are remarkably similar over the whole country - manipulated that way in the same way that oil cartels back in the States used to co-operate and manipulate the price of oil so they all got to maximise their profits at the expense of the customers. Exploitative scum, the lot of them.

Top UK billionaires considerably richer than Chinese ones ... for now

Ketlan
WTF?

What?

'Hurun Research estimated that a quarter of its Rich List 2013 were members of the Communist Party.'

On the face of it, they're hardly sharing the wealth around are they?

John McAfee tweets from BEYOND THE GRAVE: Drug binge death? Not me, mate

Ketlan
Devil

FFS...

'John McAfee tweets from BEYOND THE GRAVE: Drug binge death? Not me, mate'

FFS Ah well, there's always tomorrow.

New iPhones: C certainly DOESN'T stand for 'Cheap'

Ketlan
Trollface

Affordability my arse

'New iPhones are just what you expected – unless you expected affordability'

Hands up everyone who thought the new 'cheap' iPhones would actually be cheap. I thought not.

400 million Chinese people can't speak Chinese: Official

Ketlan

The gentle touch of the State...

'Nonetheless, China's Education Ministry is poised to launch another Mandarin unification drive, with a spokeswoman saying it would be "focusing on the countryside and areas with ethnic minorities".'

No doubt concentrating on the Uighurs and their like who, despite there only being around eight million of them, continue to speak their own dialect, much to the fury of the Central Committee, who love homogeneity in all things - or at least among the masses.

Gov IT write-off: Universal Credit system flushes £34m down toilet

Ketlan
Devil

Reshuffle off this mortal coil...

'Of course, it stopped short of suggesting a ministerial reshuffle as such a recommendation is outside of its remit. But one can't help but think that Duncan Smith will be the latest and most high-profile victim of the Universal Credit catastrophe.'

Bliss if it happens but if it didn't after he was found to have blatantly lied about his educational attainments and repeatedly 'misled' the country over the costs of fraud within the benefits system, it's not likely to happen just because he's flushed a large amount of public money down the pan.

On the other hand, if he IS booted out, let's hope he takes that other fraud, Lord Freud, with him.

South Carolina couple cop cuffing for shed shag

Ketlan
Devil

Not exactly flashing

'Bowden will face similarly face a disorderly conduct charge, as well as an "indecent exposure ... for having his genitals on public view" rap.'

His genitals were hardly on public view, were they. He was inside a damn shed.

Kim Kardashian's bosom pal in bling snatch Instagram unpleasantness

Ketlan
Thumb Down

Ohmigod...

I have no idea who the Kardashians are but I hate them already. Even more, I loathe and detest anyone who will waste such an exhorbitant sum as half a million dollars on anything, let alone a particularly hideous watch. The world is truly fucked.

Google Glass is high fashion in September Vogue magazine

Ketlan
WTF?

Still a dork...

I'm not sure if the woman in the image looks like a dork because of her weird hair style, her bizarrely thin waist or the idiotic outfit she's wearing. I hardly noticed the Google specs.

Nude swimmers warned of GONAD-GOBBLING FISH ON THE LOOSE

Ketlan
Devil

Pffft...

Sounds like a load of bollocks to me.

This weekend: Watch HOT STARS shower! Moon won't interfere

Ketlan
Meh

The Persys

As usual, I shall go out and watch for the Percys and as usual, it will be cloudy and/or pissing down.

End of an era as Firefox bins 'blink' tag

Ketlan
Happy

Futurefox

'Mozilla has also listed other, far more important, changes to Firefox 32.0'

Now THAT'S what I call planning ahead.

Mobes, fondleslabs, web sending Brit families back to THE FIFTIES - Ofcom

Ketlan
Meh

Credenza?

Here in Blighty, we used to call these sideboards or, if mum was trying to be posh, glass or china cabinets. Credenza is, I believe, wholly American. Correct me if I'm wrong though - I can take it. :-)

Fever pitch as Dublin tar drop fall captured by webcam

Ketlan
Happy

Bad, bad, bad

"pitched battle (sorry)"

You should get some kind of journalistic medal for that. :-)

1953: How Quatermass switched Britons from TV royalty to TV sci-fi

Ketlan
Thumb Up

Brilliant!

Nostalgia - dont'cha love it.

Worth remembering that sugar was rationed until 1957 and farthings we're still very much legal tender (and amazingly, there were sweets that could be bought for a farthing then).

An interesting time and made a lot more interesting by such things as Quatermass and the Goon Show.

Showing my age? Rubbish. :-)

Psssst: If you wanna be rich, make the next privacy Robocop app

Ketlan

"Errr, pretty sure the only Jews who have 'clear memories' of the Nazis are the ones who lived through the Holocaust. Don't see what Zuckerberg being Jewish has to do with anything?"

Because those who survived the Holocaust make damn sure their descendants never forget what happened.

Ketlan

"In Europe, people remember a time when you could be killed for having the wrong political beliefs or religion. The people who run Facebook and other big social media companies don't have that baggage, so privacy can be something of an abstract concept to them in a way it isn't in Germany, for instance, with memories of the Stazi and Nazis."

In many places, you can STILL be killed for having the wrong political beliefs or religion. A good enough reason on its own for having a bit of privacy when using the net in whatever form.

The comment about Facebook and privacy issues being a tad abstract compared to those who had clearer memories of the Nazis is strange, given that Mark Zuckerberg is Jewish. Not many people have a clearer memory of the Nazis than the average Jew. Not being snarky, by the way - I'm Jewish, too.

'Thundering mechanical behemoth' walker mech to attack Leicester today

Ketlan

Sigh...

Generally speaking, I love modern art but - oh, dear...

Universal Credit? Universal DISCREDIT, more like, say insiders

Ketlan
FAIL

Re: Just maybe...

"Government sources reveal 'one dole to rule them all' in 'total disarray'"

Is anyone surprised? Anyone at all?

"Our second source warned that the Universal Credit was in such poor shape that it could cost Secretary of State for Work and Pensions Iain Duncan Smith his job."

Good. Fucking good riddance.

Godmother of Unix admins Evi Nemeth presumed lost at sea

Ketlan

Re: "The boat was last heard from on June 4"

Yep. Still, hope is hope.

Ketlan

Purely personally...

A major shocker. Matt Wootton has been an integral part of the Green Party here in Lancaster, UK. Keeping fingers firmly crossed...

Facebook's Winklevoss Bros file to launch Bitcoin Trust for investors

Ketlan

Not the first IPO

Two slight inaccuracies. This isn't the first Bitcoin-related IPO. See http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/blog/2013/jul/01/bitcoin-virtual-fortune-crypto-currency for just one example. Also, Bitcoins today were worth nearly $85 this morning and are now $85.61, not $89.

That aside, trading in a virtual currency is no different from trading in a 'real' currency and there are fortunes to be made and lost, which means some chancers (or Winklevossi) will come along to hoover up the cash that some other sucker loses.

Kinky? You're mentally healthier than 'vanilla' bonkers

Ketlan
Thumb Up

Re: WTF?

@ David D. Hagood

Thanks for the explanation. I still don't really get it but I'm pretty thick anyway. Kudos for trying. :-)

Ketlan
WTF?

WTF?

"Associations were examined using χ2 tests of independence with φ and Cramer's V as effect size measures and eta or Pearson's correlation. Group differences were tested using analysis of covariance, with partial η2 as effect size measure. A priori contrasts were tested using α = 0.01 to correct for multiple testing; for all other tests we used α = 0.05, two tailed."

Okay, I'm still interested but does someone want to explain what all that shit means?

Thongs of praise: Slip on Japan's skimpy mobe knickers

Ketlan
WTF?

Oh, God...

Would somebody kill me now, please...

PLAGUE of SEX CRAZED MONSTER GRASSHOPPERS to hit East Coast

Ketlan
WTF?

Lots and lots and lots...

According to the Independent, they're expecting around thirty BILLION of these little buggers. And I complained because one fly annoyed me by coming into my kitchen yesterday!

First, the bad news: EA bags Star Wars games rights

Ketlan
Unhappy

Bye, Star Wars...

"Still waiting for the good news"

Now EA is involved, you'll have a very long wait.

Debian 7 debuts

Ketlan
FAIL

Re: Oh, dear...

'Eh, there are only so many characters in Toy Story, don't you know?'

Toy Story? Sorry, never seen it.

'I certainly don't agree with shooting the writers just because you don't like it as an OS release name.'

A figure of speech, nothing more. The choice of name is still tragic though.

Ketlan
FAIL

Oh, dear...

It could be the best OS ever - but 'Wheezy'? Whoever thought that one up should be shot. Tragic.

One of the world's oldest experiments crawls towards a fall

Ketlan
WTF?

Too exciting

I watched the pitch for a minute but decided the excitement was too much for me. This kind of thing is all very well for you youngsters who enjoy today's frenetic pace but us wrinklies need to watch our heart rates.

Went and made a cup of tea instead.

UK.Gov passes Instagram Act: All your pics belong to everyone now

Ketlan
Thumb Down

Theft

Looks like theft to me.

High-rollers’ shop pitches wallet-pounding, wall-pummelling MONSTER TV

Ketlan
FAIL

Gawdelpus

Anyone who buys one of these is a complete and utter twat. Downvote all you like but I'm firmly of the opinion that TV and the mush it seems to make of people's brains is the blight of our country. And no, I don't have one and I have no desire to get one.

Nick Clegg: Snooper's Charter 'isn't going to happen'

Ketlan
Happy

Re: How to be a Politician...

I thought underpants were involved somewhere...

Virgin Media: SO SORRY we fined your dead dad £10 for unpaid bill

Ketlan
Happy

You gotta laugh...

''Being deceased, it's probably slipped his mind' says son-in-law'

Don'tcha love a guy with a sense of (wicked) humour.

Want a coffee with Tim Cook? Better start saving now

Ketlan
WTF?

Who? And why???

I can think of an awful lot of ways to dispose of $50-100k and none of them involve Tim Cook, Elon Musk or, gawd 'elp us, Piers bloody Morgan. I could manage a tenner or two for a weekend with Gwyneth Paltrow though...

British designer builds $15m iPhone for Hong Kong mogul

Ketlan
WTF?

If this is true...

If this story is true, my opinion is that both Stuart Hughes and the Hong Kong businessman need to be repeatedly and vigorously kicked in the bollocks until they both come to their senses.

Maggie Thatcher: The Iron Lady who saved us from drab Post Office mobes

Ketlan
Thumb Down

FFS

I was hoping that at least the Register would have been a site free of the Thatcher beatification that seems to be going on at the moment.

Facebook skins Android with Facebook Home

Ketlan
Happy

Re: The IT Crowd.

Ah, FriendFace. Best advert ever!

Got a BlackBerry? It may be telling your friends when you watch pr0n

Ketlan
Happy

How embarrassing...

'As the system is also linked to the video player, BBM contacts are getting notified about porn preferences too, which might prove more embarrassing than the latest single from One Direction.'

I wouldn't be too sure about that.

Review: Jabra Revo Wireless headphones

Ketlan
WTF?

'a whopping £200'

Ha. Great April Fool!

No, hang on a minute...

Second International Cat Video Festival coming to Oakland CA

Ketlan
Happy

Overlords, my arse

Until they learn to put bread around their faces, they'll never rule us!

Er...

Furious Stephen Fry blasts 'evil' Reg and 'TW*T' Orlowski

Ketlan
Happy

Thank God it's (not) Fryday

"The ubiqutious thespedian appeared 189 times on British TV in two weeks over Christmas - not including voice overs."

Yet another good reason not to own a TV.

Goblinproofing One's Chicken Coop hailed oddest book title

Ketlan
Thumb Up

Odd titles

I've only got two books that I've bought for their titles alone: 'Tiger Standish Does His Stuff', which I always thought was a great porn title, and 'Re-inforced Concrete Made Easy'', which speaks for itself really. Don't you love shit titles. ;-0

This page has been deliberately left blank

Ketlan
Thumb Up

Re: Why?

'I think ketlan is under the mistaken impression that she was walking around with porwigle in her mouth, (like some sort of brooding cichlid), and that the bottle contained just water.'

Precisely. Right, and thank you, Danny14. Got it now.

I'm not always this dense you know. Only on Wednesdays (geddit).

Ketlan

Re: Why?

'Let's take it in stages: First learn to read; then read the story.'

Don't be a dick. Just explain.

Ketlan

Re: Why?

'I think you need to read the story again...'

Okay, I read it again. And?

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