Who knows what else have they rushed through testing like that?
What is this 'testing' of which you speak?
It's not fun, shiny and (fr)agile so why bother? That's what your customers are for.
893 posts • joined 3 Apr 2007
Its British Gas. I never expected less, and am surprised that there is not more.
Oh there is, soooo much more - you have no idea. Their website is a clusterfuck of epic precautions - the login process is painful enough and it just gets worse from there.
The British Gas website pretty much sums up everything that is wrong with modern software 'development', to whit: spaghetti coding: chuck stuff at the wall and keep the stuff that sticks, irrespective of whether it works or not[*].
Is $FRAMEWORK or $METHODOLOGY new and shiny? If so, crowbar it in there and fuck the consequences - form triumphs over function eleven times out of ten.
Why pay for QA/testing when your long-suffering customers will do all of that for free.
[*] - I would say that the Hive website was the Ur-example of this, but it seems to have settled down a bit of late, both in terms of 'style' and stability.
It's all just ones and zeroes. If it isn't a one then it's a zero. How hard can that be?
Getting the ones and zeroes is the easy bit ... it's putting them together in the right order that's the trick.
As the late, great Eric Morecambe once said: I'm playing all the right notes, just not necessarily in the right order ...
Linus' potty mouth notwithstanding, let's not forget that some of this shit is hard - my last tussle with the kernel was way back in the 2.mumble days where I had to write a couple of drivers for some hardware in my lab - my C chops were a lot better back then but even so, hacking on the kernel was not for the faint of heart (one bit of hardware was sorta-kinda supported, which made life a bit easier, but the other wasn't so I had to work from datasheets and whatnot and write everything from scratch) - still gives me nightmares.
You want documentation? Well, there's the code itself ... other than that, good luck!
I probably wouldn't even know where to start now.
There's also the 'some of this stuff is boring' aspect - whilst you'll probably have no shortage of people queuing up to work on the latest shiny shiny or the $ARCHITECTURE_DU_JOUR, there's no escaping the fact that the 'boring' stuff in the kernel will need occasional care and feeding as well, and that's not as sexy by half and people will be less inclined to do anything once the current maintainers have moved on[*]
[*] - I'm one of those developers who actually enjoys working on the 'boring' stuff. It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it ...
It's a bit of a running joke round here, but:
- The Audi logo is referred to as "The Olympic Rings Of Twattery",
- Audi itself is an acronym for "A Useless Driver Inside"
- BMW actually stands for "Bloody Minded Wanker" (or, as a German-speaking colleague of mine had it, "Bayerische MistWagen")
(and another wag pointed out that the Porsche Cayenne is proof that Germans do actually have a sense of humour)
White Audi TTs in particular are filed under "things to run away from very fast" since they always seem to be driven by hairdressers with the spatial awareness of a goldfish and the IQ of a can of soup.
BMW and Audi do make some very nice cars, but the image is tainted by some of the idiots who drive them. Much the same could be said about Apple products ...
TBH, I'd rather have the folks working at $WHEREVER slaving[*] away developing code which works rather than sitting in healing circles wringing their hands about whether or not someone, somewhere will be offended by what has been written.
Y'know what? I don't give a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut whether your code uses 'master/slave', 'parent/child' or 'this/that' - as long as it works, I don't care. I really don't. If you must insist on this new-age, touchy-feely, snowflake bullshit then please, keep it to yourselves - or failing that, you can look through some of my code: the terminology used therein would probably make your fragile little heads explode.
[*] - yeah, I used 'slaving'. Downvote away ...
(of course, it should be BEEEEELLLLION dollars, but you get the general idea)
Giving credence to such ideas merely reinforces them, and contributes to an atmosphere where gullible rubes set fire to 4G antennas, because they're too fucking stupid to know the difference.
And therein lies the nub of the problem (emphasis mine) ... these are the same fools who are lauding Spaffer and Hancockup as saviours of the NHS despite plenty of evidence to the contrary.
George Carlin was right ... if my code scaled as well as stupidity appears to then I'd be happy indeed.
I think he really is an Employee of MicroSoft in disguise ... or a total asshat .....
The former would be difficult to prove.
The latter .... not so much.
He's the new millennium's answer to Joerg Schilling (if you don't know who he is then look him up - Poettering clearly took asshattery lessons from him)
And yeah, PulseAudio is an absolute fucking abomination.
Time to resurrect my ownCloud (or whatever it happens to be calling itself this week) setup.
Or maybe treat myself to a NAS box.
I've cancelled my Dropbox Business service largely because of the 20%+ price increase they tried to slip under the radar but also because even if I did use all of the space on offer I'd undoubtedly run into problems with backups/rehoming of data should everything go wahoonie-shaped. Whilst it was highly unlikely that I'd ever use Dropbox Paper, the fact that it hoovers data up doesn't surprise me in the least.
In the immortal words of The Exploited: "Fuck 'em".
but then, 'not a good fit' or 'not exactly what we were looking for' could mean 'too old, grandad'
Or 'too expensive' (you want experience? Well that don't come cheap ...)
Or 'you're more experienced than any of us and that scares us shitless'.
"Not a good fit" I can understand - it's something I get a lot because I have this annoying tendency to think for myself, but the "not exactly what we're looking for" always makes me laugh - if you put a list of $TECH_DU_JOUR on your job requirements then that's never going to happen, particularly if you're asking for x years of experience in a technology that has been around for y years (where x << y - yes, I've had this and yes, it makes your hiring manager look like a complete idiot)
Finally, even if they can't deduce my age from my experience (finished my first degree in 1992, PhD in 1996 - work it out) it's always fun telling the slave traders that I'm quite happy doing what I'm doing, thank you so very much. They seem to have a hard time with this.
I can't really call myself a 'greyhair' 'cos to do that I'd need, y'know, actual hair.
Ditto for 'greybeard' - having more hair on my chin than the top of my head is just plain embarrassing ;-)
I really should compile all the bullshit excuses I've had into a book - never mind a sabbatical, I could probably afford to retire on the proceeds.
Having recently turned 50 I'm painfully aware that I'm very, very old to be in IT but not management -- to the extent that I've started teaching myself some basic carpentry and DiY skillz in the hopes of having some sort of income when the inevitable happens and I stop getting invited to interview for a new job. (Current place is a hellmouth, I'm only hanging on because it's in the City, Brexit's frozen the jobs market, and I've been here long enough to get paltry but non-zero payoff if they want to make me redundant when the business ups and moves to Paris.)
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt .... and I'm not 50 (yet)
I've parlayed my knowledge of electronics and love of all things noisy into a nice little business building synthesisers. I still keep my hand in doing some development work for an old colleague and friend who I actually trust (and, better, trusts _me_) and I'm doing pretty well for myself so far.
Having gone through a year of unemployment and the inevitable round of interiews, broken promises and bullshit excuses for not getting the job despite having all the experience and then some I've decided that the recruitment companies and their ilk can go fuck themselves - I'm finally in a position where I can work on my terms, not those of some complete asshat in middle management.
And y'know what? Not only am I much better off financially (obviously YMMV a lot with this) but I'm a lot happier as well. SWMBO went through a similar palaver, although her field is museums rather than IT, and I'm trying to get her to put her crafting skills to a similar use. If you've got a skill, why not try and make some money with it?
My only regret is that I didn't do this 20 years ago ...
I have a Chocolate beer in the Fridge (A gift from a friend) I just can't face the utter disappointment that I know it will be.
Depends what it is.
One of the best chocolate beers out there, IMO, is Sam Smith's Chocolate Stout .... better still, the brewery is about 6 miles down the road from me. The Brooklyn Brewery did (still do?) a pretty decent chocolate stout too.
My fortnightly trip to Leeds for comics and coffee is next week, so I may well swing by the brewery tap and give this a go.
However, I'm a bit leery of any collabs that North Brewing undertake these days, especially after the utter catastrophe that was 'Sour Bru', the beer they did with Brewdog for the 2016(?) Collabfest. Jesus H. Tittyfucking Christ, that stuff tasted like vinegar (and I _like_ sours, gueuze in particular)
Also, as several people have pointed out already, if a beer is unfined or doesn't using isinglass finings then there's a better than even chance that it is vegan anyway.
"The days when software security meant getting a strong enough elastic band."
Or a cardboard box, if you were really pushing the boat out.
I remember during the first week after I started my PhD I was going through some of the assorted gubbins in the lab which included, amongst other things, a hole punch and a virgin roll of matching paper tape (as an aside, the punch was a thing of beauty - built like a tank, so I suspect that it might have been something put together by the guys in the mechanical workshop).
There was also a shoebox containing a bunch of punched cards, each _very_ clearly numbered. Knowing that I was a computer wonk by the standards of pretty much everyone else in the physics department, my supervisor pointed out that it was 'how we did things in the dark ages' - the content of the cards? The code that went with _his_ PhD thesis, ca. 1975. Written in FORTRAN, rather than COBOL though.
And who knows, in 60 years time people will be saying the same thing about the CD that contained the code and whatnot for my thesis (the less said about the code the better - FORTRAN as written by someone who's first language at the time was C)
To remove racial bias, have Jacob Rees-Mogg set the test.
Then the test would be in Latin, and someone would have to tell the Tangerine Fucktrumpet that "Latin" =/= "Latin America" ...
(for those fortunate enough not to know about Rees-Mogg, let's just say he's a swivel-eyed loon who seems to live in the 18th century and would gladly bring workhouses and compulsory Latin lessons if he thought he could get away with it. One newspaper described him as "a thoroughly modern bigot", which is all you really need to know)
Mind you, one of those automatic airsoft guns pumping out a stream of plastic BBs might do the trick. Could be a Reg project - can we build a replica Phalanx CIWS using a Raspberry Pi, an airsoft gun and some open source AI/ML pattern recognition sw so it doesn't blast holes through Tiddles and Rover?
Wherever Lester is now, Gawd bless 'im, I'm sure he's smiling and nodding agreement. Just needs an appropriately pithy name and acronym and half the battle is won.
Make it so!
Agreed - The Hydrogen Sonata is very good, and well worth a read. It follows on from Excession pretty neatly. My introduction to the Culture was 'Consider Phlebas' when a guy staying in our flat at Uni said 'you like sci-fi, give this a whirl ...'. I didn't get into his non-SF stuff until quite a bit later, probably after having heard "Espedair Street" on the radio now that I think about it.
I may be misremembering but I think "The Crow Road" might have got the R4 Book at Bedtime treatment at some point as well.
Re-reading "The Steep Approach To Garbadale" at the moment - for someone who claimed to have had a happy childhood and stable family, Banks wrote the 'dysfunctional Scottish family' amazingly well (see also "The Crow Road" and "Whit")
Although it isn't sci-fi, I can recommend the BBC Scotland production of "The Crow Road" - pretty much a who's who of Scottish actors of the time (including a younger Peter Capaldi) and it actually does the book justice.
In fact, if you're not familiar with Banks' non-SF work then "The Crow Road" and "Espedair Street"[*] (made into a radio series on, I believe, Radio 4, a few years ago) are good places to start.
[*] - unusual for a Banks book in that it has a happy ending. Sort of.
Ian M Banks' Culture series isn't a blueprint. It's self indulgent transhumanism.
It's bloody good, self-indulgent transhumanism though ...
(some of Charlie Stross' work is in a similar vein - I live in hope that he and/or Ken McLeod will reach an agreement with Banksy's estate and write a new Culture novel)
I tried growing a beard once - the 'itchy phase' was absolute hell, but once through that it wasn't actually too bad, and relatively low maintenance too.
Then I realised that having more hair on my chin than on top of my head was bloody embarrassing - being a slaphead and looking like you've swallowed a bear and left its arse hanging out are not a good combo. I've not had a 'close' shave for a while (sensitive skin, and all that) so a going over with the clippers every so often does the trick for me.
Much as the bearded, man-bun'd set make me want to reach for the Clue-by-Four[tm], I won't deny that their appetite for moustache wax, beard oil and other accoutrements does a very good job at keeping my employer in business and, by extension, paying my wages.
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