Posts by Daniel Wilkie

Brazilian Playboy eyes miniskirted uni student

Well regardless

I definately would!

Docs press for probe into 'designer vaginas'

So...

- "Healthy messaging about the normal variation in female genitalia, as well as body shape and size more generally, is needed and important.”

So the home made videos instead of the studio ones should be shown more right?

UK to build robot stealth raygun jet/copter

Honestly

It's quite clearly part of "Operation Rebuild" - we'll launch them en-masse into US and European cities as the first phase of our grand scheme to rebuild the Empire.

Don't you know anything?

US boffins hail lab-grown rabbit todger

Is it just me

Who is anticipating a new flood of porn stars with surgically augmented penii (?) which are SO long they're wrapped from their torso to their feet and could harpoon a whale without leaving their cabin?

How I rebuilt Europe after the Berlin Wall collapsed

@Rattus Rattus

Um, actually I kind of like being part of a system that benefits the lucky few - I'm quite happy with my allocation as things stand :)

@Kenny Millar - What foul language? :s

Isle of Man plays catch-up on extreme porn law

Um

The cartoon is the same one for both links - even the link is identical. Just so you know. Which you clearly did and now I've ruined it.

Bugger.

H Ross Perot Jr fails to grab rhino by the horns

Not sure why he'd have a claim to the head anyway

If he failed to shoot it... I mean surely that's just a reminder of his mediocrity?

Linden Lab unveils Sadville: Enterprise Edition

@Duane Young

"get away with making everyone in my office a furry!"

Deviant. That is all.

BAE mounts the Last Charge of the Light Cavalry

Just a little point though...

We have made some pretty decent tanks. Scorpian is well thought of as a recon tank, and the Challenger 2 is, as far as I recall, pretty well respected (although this is probably in a large part down to the effectiveness of its armour)...

Large Hadron Collider team flicks switch on Xeon grid

@Mark Donnison

You mean like this?

http://lhcathome.cern.ch/

STRONG REAL SEX? That's not porn, rules ASA

@ITWillSaveTheWorld

Maybe teenagers just like sex more these days?

FBI techs shy away from facial recognition

James A Loudermilk II ?

There was a time when names that unwieldy were saved for Royalty. Honestly, do people not just think it would be quicker to introduce themselves as "James Loudermilk"?

Yours Sincerely

Daniel P Wilkie XVII

Southwark council sues IBM

This may be why I am not a lawyer

Because to me it seems simple. The system either does what it was supposed to, in which case IBM are in the right, or it doesn't in which case the Council are in the right.

Why is law so complicated?

Green Berets get wearable combat smartphones

What happens when

they're links go down because wardrivers have been hijacking their access points to download torrents?

:p

UK gets final warning over Phorm trials

Not sure if want

I can see the benefit of improving personal privacy, but I'm not sure saddling the taxpayers with "Large daily fines" is really going to do anything for our already completely fucked economy at the moment to be honest.

No doubt it will do wonders for the EC as a whole though, since they'll be getting a large daily income courtesy of the British Taxpayer.

Tabloid hack scum face jail

Maybe it's just me

But I read that as "Tabloid Hacks Cum Face Jail".

It must be friday :\

Microsoft's Hotmail 'blacklists' NHS email - again

Really though...

Should things where lives are "at risk" be dependent on email? Maybe I'm just old before my time, but I like to think if my life was at risk for the taxes I pay I'd get something a little more substantial.

Also, it's not just the NHS that suffer from this sort of palava - it's happened to our email system a few times here as well (I suspect at least one of the times was caused by a competitor...) - and it's a pain to get removed from the blocklists. Having said that, I'd be sure MS must have a global whitelist somewhere that they can add .nhs.uk to?

Almighty rumpus in Swedish lesbian enclave

@Luther Blisset

That was my bad, I didn't mean to post AC :p I shall investigate, in the interest of "Doing Science"

Ralph Lauren stick insect sacked for being 'too fat'

@Jamie Kitson

Damn, beaten to it.

I'm 5'11 and 11st, and I don't consider myself fat or overweight, clearly I'm wrong :(

Sky confirms telly-on-Xbox launch date

@GloucesterMatt

Yes sadly :( Unless you can disable the ability to watch BBC channels.

Also, i thought the sky player was supposed to be free for existing subscribers :(

Trojan plunders $480k from online bank account

@Big-nosed Pengie

Not wanting to cause agggro, but perhaps in this case the example slightly misses the mark...

A better example would be:

Car X is poorly designed and constructed and fragile, but strangely popular. Many VIP's who use them get assassinated.

Car Y is well designed and tough but very few people use it. An even smaller percentage of those get assassinated.

You'd take Car Y of course. And then when everyone has Car Y, said assassins would just develop ways to destroy Car Y.

OK my analogy isn't perfect, but more accurate to the situation don't you think? Your example implies that Windows crashes and then hacks all the banks and steals everyones money (which it may well do tbh)

Delta hacked my email, says passenger rights chief

Is it just me

that thinks every time somebody sues someone else for something like this, the amounts involved seem patently ridiculous? I mean $11,000,000 for some stolen emails. Really? I'd have a little more sympathy if she was asking somethign more sensible in damages...

I thought damages were supposed to represent the damage done, not more than many people would earn in 40 years...

Man jailed over air traffic control IT kit eBay scam

Several Things

Firsty, yes he should indeed get jail. Even if he stole ONE laptop, it's still theft. Secondly, they probably have the same numpty security as many other government places where if you have a contractor pass you can come and go as you please and nothings ever questioned.

But regardless, he stole several things from a customer, that's theft, theft = jail. Not sure what the argument here is. As for the MP's not going to to jail, well you have to be proven beyond reasonable doubt to have committed a crime first don't you ;) And MP's are a cunning bunch!

Royal Marines' semi-hovership prototype launched

@Dave Bell

I don't think the MBT capability would be so much of an issue for the Booties - unless things have changed a lot recently they don't have any organic armour support, they're principly light infantry and operate as such, with just light troop carriers (such as the aforementioned Viking) - they're similar in role to the Parachute Regiment, only they principally deploy from the sea rather than the air.

Note to any ex-booties reading, I didn't say you were the same as the Paras, just filled a similar role so please don't beat me :p

WD adds e-ink screens to external HDDs

@Cliff

Ah, but the $150 model will be the 500GB, whereas the $170 reduced interface one will be 1TB ;)

Wales adopts mobile average speed cameras

Reducing Vehicle Emissions?

Surely if everybody is slowing down and speeding up (since even if you were sat at, say, 40 in a 40, or 60 in a 60, everyone seems to shave 10-20mph when they come to average cameras) then that will INCREASE emmissions?

More to the point, who cares....

SFO kicks BAE corruption charges upstairs

Not to be picky...

But if 70% of the employees are overseas, that still leaves around 30,000 UK employees, which still does make them a significant employer really doesn't it.

Swedish military bras burst, melt during 'rigorous exercise'

A lesson from History perhaps?

Why don't they just go to chainmail like the Vikings did? Fireproof AND supportive!

Ford says new Taurus 'is fitted with stealth fighter radar'

Just a thought

And I'm sure I'm missing something obvious here... But why does a car NEED a synthetic aperture RADAR? I've managed to successfully drive around for the last 9 years without driving into anything else, merely identifying and classifying threats with my eyes...

I just don't see it as being a good idea, people are distracted enough when they're driving - surely getting them to rely on RADAR to warn them of what's knocking about around them is a bad thing.

Also, RADAR, not radar - RAdio Direction And Ranging - it's an acronym not a word :p

Most expensive RAF aircraft ever takes to the skies

Be honest Lewis

This is you every time you find out something about the MOD's latest spending ideas isn't it?

http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/2364/ffffuuuu.jpg

British troops get nifty techno-gunsights

Not to be picky...

It's not that difficult to fire the SA80 from some quite bizarre angles, excepting it's weight. It really has very low recoil, especially if you compare it to the yank rifles in their various forms.

Just thought I'd point it out.

Ohio armed robber asked victim for a date

Is it me?

Or does that robber in the Hostage Love Story not have a magazine in his gun?

Good Housekeeping readers play hunt the G-spot

@Ian Michael Gumby

You sir, better be trolling.

In case you're not, what section is this in? That's right.

Lad from Lagos makes YouTube pitch

Fridays dose of Epicness

Well done for finding that one!

Pair charged with BNP list breach

@Messy Anonymous Coward

With most of the groups on the banned list, the reason they're not permitted many public offices (Police for one example) is because the views of their self declared political beliefs are incompatible with the role of said office.

It would be like putting a member of the Pirate Party in charge of copyright enforcement in Sweden for example - they may well be able to do the job perfectly well, but their political beliefs would be likely to compromise their dedication.

I personally have no issue whatsoever with BNP members - we live in a democracy, they're entitled to believe what they want. I work with at least one. HOWEVER I would take issue if they were a police officer as it would call into question their impartiality whenever an issue of race/religion came up.

British boffin named first ever 'doctor of texting'

@Shane8

"take off predictive text then see if you have good grammer and spelling!!!"

It's grammar...

'Metal muscle' memory-alloy robot flapper bat shown off

Is it just me

That remembers these "Metal Muscles" sound awfully much like the system used in the powered armour so popular in the Sci-Fi genre...

Couple that with the exoskeletons being developed, and the brainwave reading control systems, and I think I've sussed what DARPA are REALLY after....

Air NZ rolls out naked safety vid

@AC 11:59

I don't know, I quite liked the bit with the manual inflation of the lifejacket.

Yes, I am single and have been for a while, what's your point

Lockheed engineer: F-22 Raptor Stealth tech is 'defective'

@Danny F

SU-37 is a Flanker?? Flanker-F if memory serves, it was a prototype or something like that. And I very much doubt the F-35 is particularly survivable, indeed if it can fly as claimed above, it would be more survivable than the A-10 which was more or less designed with soaking up bullets in mind.

As for the range - I'm assuming you mean weapons range? In an air to air engagement the F-22 would cream it, and in an Air-to-Ground engagement they wouldn't be using F-22's anyway :p

DARPA hands BBN $30m in evil 'Machine Reading' plan

Umm....

Is it just me that thinks this seems like a really REALLY bad idea? Don't get me wrong - the gene pool needs some chlorine, but a robot apocalypse is way down on my list of preferred apocalyptic scenarios. Indeed it ranks only slightly above the 60 tonne hummer sized bullet proof spider based apocalypse...

NASA reacquires original Moon landing footage

Oh FFS people

It's true, the moon landings are fake, and I have the proof in some files passed down to me from my grandfather, that were stolen from a facility in Nevada. I'll just scan them in and then can we please move past this?

Well that's wierd, there's some kind of black helicopter hovering outside my

HSBC online banking hits another wall

Fail again

It was down yesterday a bit of the morning for me. Internet banking being down I can cope with though - much more of a problem was a few weeks ago when EVERYTHING packed up, including card authorisations, just as I was in a petrol station.

<rant>

Card - Declined, Cash Point - Exceeded daily limit - wtf, telephone system - unavailable, internet system - unavailable.

And before someone points it out, yes I had money, and no I hadn't withdrawn anything that day

Then 4 hours later, all back up and running. I phoned them and they said it was the first they'd heard of it...

This was despite people I know all around the country who bank with them and had the exact problem at the exact same time.

</rant>

iPod saves lightning-strike teen

Seriously

Did anyone see the picture from the link on the next story down about the house struck by lightning? Wow...

I'm assuming if you're somewhere near trees in a lightning storm, the same drills as for hand grenades would work, drop to the ground facing the trees. Of course you're not wearing a helmet so perhaps facing away would be better. Only then you're going to get tree shrapnel up your arse instead... Catch22 really!

Che Guevara's granddaughter poses for PETA

Hmmmm....

I still would though...

F-22 may live on: Cheap secondhand Eurofighters on offer

@Lars 3

Exactly the point, Maginot Line anyone?

Having said that - the point is if we arm for the war we're fighting now, then due to development times and time into service, most of the kit we're buying for our current conflicts won't make it into service till these conflicts are over, and who knows what the next one might be.

The colonials might object to their repatriation for a start, so we might have to deploy the Eurofighter against the F22 after all :p

Royal Navy warship almost fires on UFOs

I almost raged...

I was about to rage about the RADAR powered guns and infrared decoy flares and phalanx till I read the article and realised that they weren't your words.

The Type45 is fitted for but not with, and likely will remain so after it is commisioned. The (formerly Vickers I believe) 4.5" gun is meant for shore bombardment rather than anti air and is perfectly advanced enough for what it does.

If I remember correctly, the Diamond onwards will be fitted with Phalanx when they enter service, but the Daring and Dauntless will remain without.

Her Maj honours NZ wizard

To be fair...

I doubt the queen has much involvement in the process anymore, uk.gov seem keen to take everything else away from the royals so it wouldn't surprise me if this is just political nowadays as well. Or maybe I'm cynical...

Gov spunks hundreds of thousands on mobe condom clip

@Free Condoms

I used to like going to buy them. I only used to make them into balloons and stuff but it made me feel like a rock star anyway, and nobody else ever knew they weren't getting used.

Well not till now anyway - where's that facepalm smilie?

Worldwide GPS may die in 2010, say US gov

GPS?

Is this that new fangled thing I've heard about where the sky-gods shout directions at you through a unit in your horseless carriage? Sounds like witchcraft and wizadry to me, it'll never take off.

Duke Nukem developer answers Take-Two suit

@Michael

Best collection of analogies EVER - hat's off to you sir!