Posts by MikeC

Outbound space probe looks back at tiny Earth and Moon

Dammit...

I wasn't smiling, can you take it again?

Google Earthlings fly to Mars

I wonder...

I wonder how happy the martians will be when Google lands a couple of black Opels with monstrous cameras on the top???

Google UK honours Queen Liz 2.0

Greek

After this visit, will the Duke now be known as Phil the Geek?

Mine's the one with the Royal Family Commemorative Umbrella...

Facebook - The Movie! Exclusive storyboard peek

Amazing

I will be sorely disappointed if the film does not resemble this story board! The ending is astounding!

Must be a Friday!

Croydon devil dog execution: Exclusive photo

Impressed!

It always impresses me that even at this late hour on a Friday afternoon, El Reg is working as hard as ever to bring photos of these disturbing events that no-one else would endeavour to find! Sir, I salute thee for your tireless work towards public knowledge!

Asus to release desktop Eee PC as Ebox

Somethings wrong...

I can't quite put my finger on it but there's something thats not quite right with the pictures of these desktop Eees. Something about the pictures of the laptops that made them look much more eye catching than the desktop variety.

Paris, because there's something about her that's missing too!

Sony: world PS3 sales pass 12.8m consoles

@ AC

Xbox 360 for Hardcore/Online Gamer? Don't you mean a PC. I'm sorry to say but FPS shooters don't really work on consoles. Racing games maybe but I just use a game pad not too dissimilar from an Xbox one to play them on a PC. Last I checked I didn't have to pay to play online on either the PC or PS3(I personally don't play MMORPGs for this reason - hell, I've already payed for the game and yes, I'm a tight git). As for the PS3, I bought it to play games - the Blu-Ray drive, media abilities etc. is all an extra bonus and just saves me plugging a PC into my TV!

As for the "exlcusive" downloadable content, it actually annoys me that Microsoft are basically bribing companies to get the exclusives, but then again why would they change their business practice after all these years! I suppose they have to do something with the money they get from charging to play games online!

Saying all this though, once I finish a game on a console, I always end up back on my PC, playing Battlefield 2 online, for free! Roll on Battlefield 3 (well ok, Bad Company too, but that one doesn't count!) Hell, I prefer my PC, bought a PS3 becuase I had a PS2 and didn't buy a 360 because I'm fed up of lining Microsofts pockets! And I prefer going to the gym or playing squash than playing on a Wii. I love inciting console-ist hatred!

Disclaimer: Please take with a pinch of salt!

The battle of Lesbos: Exclusive combat pic

Missing luggage

I was wondering where my palm tree had got to! Been waiting weeks for BA to get back to me about it, but obviously I should have just asked El Reg first!

Grand Theft Auto 4 queue man stabbed in head

Nasty

I'm glad I wasn't in when the postman dropped my copy off yesterday! I mean, everyone's heard what the postal service are like for taking guns to work!

Other than that, all I can say is what a game it is!

Google starts Street View in Europe

European Cities

Good luck to them if the think they can manage Amsterdam without being shot by those protectiong the "sights".

And how the hell are they going to get a van round Venice! :D

Sorry, couldn't resist!

The one with the European City Guide in the pocket, please!

Nintendo Wii 'like a virus', games boss sniffs

Monstrosity?

Actually, the shiny black goes nicely with my TV. If I wanted to have what looks like an ancient external CD-Drive, I'd buy one off E-bay and sod paying all that money for a white GameCube! Oh sorry, i forgot how "intuitive" the control system is for the Wii. My arse, if waving you arms around like a moron is intuitive then hey, I missed something. Wii fit? I'll go to the gym. Can't half tell I've had a crap day at work! ;-)

Now that I feel MUCH better, I will admit - I may have a PS3, but at the minute its PC games all the way!

Nintendo denies third-gen DS outing at E3

Wii 2

Is that a WiiWii then? Sounds worse than the original. Also, is there much more they can get out of the GameCube?

As for the E3 news - are they going to bring back cartridges instead of discs??? With backards compatability, everyone could wave their arms around playing GoldenEye!

London store brews £50-a-poop cat-crap coffee

Exotic?

@ AC

Since when has Budweiser been brewed with exotic cat piss? Alley cat piss maybe, but never exotic!

And while I love coffee, I'd really rather not have anything that's previosly been through the digestive tract of an animal, or anything/one else for that matter, especially not at £50 a go. Hell, I feel ripped off paying £2-£3 at Costa!

El Reg reconstructs Heathrow T5 chaos

Play Time

I need to start finding reasons to play with toys on a Friday. Maybe a diarama of what to do to the boss next time he pesters you for something inane and pointless? (BOFH competition anyone??)

Otherwise, nice attention to detail!

El Reg offers cut-and-paste comments service

YOU BASTARDS!

You bastards...you really went and did it didn't you. You've stolen my enitre years worth of flames, insults, put downs and stupid comments that I was going to use on El Reg this year! And now you've posted them to the site, I'm going to have to find new material!

Next time I'm putting my notebook on Ebay, then at least I'll get something out of my efforts.

Paris, because I need SOME consolation!

Famous Five film lined up

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

My childhood has just been destroyed in one go! Why can't these people stick to the originals. Phones??? Laptops??? What happened to a buried map and a compass??? Postman Pat's already been buggered up completely so why don't Disney stick to the mouse. He seems to have worked fine for them in the past!

With th new phones and the anti-nanny state stance it sounds like it'll be a film about a bunch of asbo-wannabes! Grrrrr!

MPs get £2k home cinema on taxpayers

Shopping Around

In all honesty, these lists should be reviewed and then thrown in the bin. If they want a shredder, go to Stationary Box, they cost £15, not £50! Or get a hand operated one and they are about £5 tops!

My Home Entertainment System hasn't cost £1700, because I shopped around, cost me a tickle over £1000! It's good to see my tax payments going to the use we're led to belive they are used for, such as the NHS (though surely they use my car parking fees for that), a decent education system (mmmrph, hurhur) and everything else they lied about in their manifesto!

Think I'm going to run for Parliament, so I can claim benefits such as these and also so I can stand up on TV and call Gordon Brown, Badger Brows et al a bunch of Ham Shankers!

Bill Gates loses richest man crown

Finger food

A $62 Billion buffet?? It could end world hunger! Think of all the Vol au vents!!!! And little cocktail wieners! Even Homer Simpson would be satisfied with that as an all-you-can-eat!

What, you mean Warren BuffetT??? Ah, bugger, the one with the pockets full of food then, please...

Data pimping: surveillance expert raises illegal wiretap worries

Our survey says...bye bye to BT???

"Detailed customer research by BT has shown that once customers are aware of the benefits of Webwise, they are overwhelmingly in favour of the free security features and more relevant advertising during web browsing," it told The Register last week.

Are these the same customers who click on every "You have Spyware, download this FREE anti-virus, anti-spyware, and anti-spam software now" link they come across?

The same software that then shafts your computer right royaly that then takes ages for someone with enough brains not to click on said link to remove?

If only I'd been asked my opinion, I'd have told them where to stick the enitre thing...

US government forces military secrets on Brit webmaster

@ On behalf of the USofA

This TV show with Eliabeth I...it wasn't called Blackader was it?????

Fujitsu Siemens pitches Eee-style sub-notebook at pros

No way near as good!

For a start it's missing a promotional photo of the laptop with a lovely lady! Till a photo as such appears, I am not impressed!

My vote still stands, therefore, for the Elonex Girl!!!

NASA, UK boffins plan tunnelling Moon mole robot

Mole-ing!

I didn't realise The Mole could fit into Thunderbird 3! Or can Thunderbird 2 now manage return trips to the moon!

The one with the marrionette strings attached please!

Critics split over DDoS attacks on Scientology

Newsgroup

Sorry, i got stuck on the entire newsgroup for Usenet bit. Put it as an acronym and you get arse. Just what people make of themselves when joining. I remember when they had a bit tent up in Birmingham - you couldnt see in to see what they were doing in there, and everyone who came out looked a little groggy ;)

Reason for Paris should be obvious!

Spirit discovers life on Mars

Red!

This this is the problem with leaving automated robots roaming around in the desert with red colour filters on the camera lenses. People will inevitably end up wandering into shot before being chased off by people in black helicopters!

Paris, because I wasn't sure which icon to use - the alien for the martian explanation or get my coat so I don't have to rush finding it later when the nice men in black helicopters some looking!