Posts by Martin

No, no, no! Disco joke hit bum note in the rehab center

Re: Could be worse, of course

That would not be a joke. That would be cruel and unusual punishment.

Re: "If he downloaded Hallelujah, the problems would have been much worse"

Urghh. Can't stand it. You can't rhyme "....do you?" with Hallelujah. You just can't.

Portable Large Language Models – not the iPhone 15 – are the future of the smartphone

Personal AI can redefine the handheld experience...

Redefine the handheld experience? Come on, that's the sort of marketing bollocks I'd expect from a puff piece, not an actual article.

ChatGPT's odds of getting code questions correct are worse than a coin flip

Re: MO

And politicians, CEOs, management, estate agents,etc.

As the man said - con artists.

Bizarre backup taught techie to dumb things down for the boss

Re: "you have to wonder how they get home each night

Yes - but it also said in the story that they had to explain this to the boffins every time it happened. I think you're entitled to be a little exasperated when that happens.

Circle Line

It should now be called the Spiral Line.

Keir Starmer's techno-fix for the NHS: Déjà vu disaster or brave new blunder?

Beer Korma? Really?

You may or may not have made some good points. But you completely lost my attention when you used the stupid Beer Korma joke, not once, but twice.

It's as clever and funny as New Liebour, Bliar, Camoron, and others of those ilk. It's just peurile and irritating, and it completely undermines your claim to have a reasonable argument.

Downvote administered.

Thanks for fixing the computer lab. Now tell us why we shouldn’t expel you?

Re: Top Experts

I hope they paid you for the travel time and inconvenience for returning to site.

To improve security, consider how the aviation world stopped blaming pilots

There are loads of examples of companies who were market leaders, thought they had it easy, and didn't bother to adapt - and suddenly, they were playing catch-up.

One obvious one springs to mind - Kodak.

Goddard Space Flight Center's new boss swears in on holy Pale Blue Dot

If we're swearing in, then surely this is the one?

Child hit by car among videos 'captured by Tesla vehicles, shared among staff'

Re: Human error

I don't think the important point is whether you're in public or in private. The important point is that Tesla seem to be uploading stuff from their cameras and then their staff seem to be sharing it around.

They shouldn't be uploading stuff without permission.

And even if they HAVE got permission, it shouldn't be generally accessible and shared around.

Pager hack faxed things up properly, again, and again, and again

Re: not much of a "who me" but marriage was involved

But, unfortunately, the downvotes indicate that the reputation of techies being a bunch of sad bastards with no sense of humour is not totally unfounded...

Re: Last pager I saw...

One day, many years ago, I left my pager in my car. The car was broken into and the pager and one or two other items were stolen, including an early mobile phone. I called the police and gave them a list of the items, and also told them the number to activate the pager. Two hours later, I got a call from the police. They'd apprehended some suspicious lads, and one of them was carrying a little black item.

"So what's that then?" says Mr Plod.

"Ah", says lad, "that's a pager, and it's mine."

"Oh really?" says the cop. Rings the number I'd given him and asks for a test message to be sent. Pager vibrates....

The phrase "caught bang to rights" springs to mind. Unfortunately, they had already offloaded the mobile phone and other items and denied any knowledge of them :(

Botched migration resulted in a great deal: One for the price of two

Re: The opposite problem

Oh, yes. In my days as a contractor, I managed a couple of times to get a contract direct with the company, rather than through an agent. The upside was a significantly better rate - the downside was chasing the accounts department. They just didn't seem to understand that, for a sole trader, a 90 day delay on payment of invoices was a bit of an issue.

At one company, I'd managed to get the accounts department to agree a thirty day payment schedule, which I could live with. A few months went by - and then, after five weeks, I hadn't been paid and asked the accounts team where the money was. "Oh, ninety days payment" trots out the grunt at the other end. So I spoke to my boss, who spoke to the accounts department, who promised a cheque would be raised immediately. By the Friday, it hadn't appeared. So I spoke to my (very supportive) boss again, and told him if the cheque didn't arrive on Friday, I wouldn't be coming to the office on Monday. It didn't. I didn't go into the office on Monday morning. My boss spoke to someone at accounts. I don't know what he said, but a cheque was couriered to me on the Monday afternoon.

This, btw, seems to be a UK issue. I had a friend who ran a small company with international customers, large and small. UK companies were always three months, and then you might get into the next cheque run. Far East companies paid in thirty days or less.

Techie fired for inventing an acronym – and accidentally applying it to the boss

Re: Well that was unfortunate.

Well, in my whole forty year career from small companies to large, I've never seen it happen. You can't set up new rules and backdate them; even with connivance, you still need evidence of gross misconduct.

If such a thing had happened to me, I'd have been to see an industrial lawyer PDQ. You'd at least get a significant payoff.

Re: Well that was unfortunate.

In the UK at least, "because we want to" is not enough. You have to have not been doing your job properly, and they have got to have gone through a disciplinary procedure.

https://www.gov.uk/dismissal/reasons-you-can-be-dismissed

(Of course, P&O ferries were able to dismiss all their staff and admit they were in breach of the law with absolutely no come-back.)

Techie wiped a server, nobody noticed, so a customer kept paying for six months

Indeed. I think my reaction would have been - if you haven't used it for six months, why not? You tell a little white lie - you say that no-one knew what the server was doing, as far as we were concerned it was surplus to requirements. So it was switched off for a week, and no-one shouted about it - so it was decommissioned.

To the Moon? Emojis can be financial advice, says judge

Re: I'm perpetually amazed

A little cynical, eh?

I think it's more likely that most sales transactions are where the buyer pays just a little more than he'd have liked, and the seller gets just a little less than he'd like. But generally, both sides are reasonably happy.

Forget the climate: Steep prices the biggest reason EV sales aren't higher

Re: "a strong desire to reduce refueling costs"

It's just a mess of charging systems at the moment in the UK, probably the same everywhere.

Indeed. I have thirteen different apps for charging my EV. THIRTEEN!!!

And that's not thirteen apps I've downloaded just in case - that thirteen apps each of which I've actually used at least once when charging on the road.

It also doesn't include the app associated with my home charger.

And I only charge on the road on holiday - I don't do a huge amount of travelling otherwise.

It is actually quite ridiculous.

Two signs in the comms cabinet said 'Do not unplug'. Guess what happened

Re: Don't forget mischief

My mother was once approaching a one-way street as a pedestrian, and so only looked one way before crossing. Unfortunately, a few days earlier, the road had been converted to two-way... Fortunately she walked into the side of a moving car, not in front of it. Still, it knocked her over, and she was a bit bruised. However, it transpired that she'd been knocked down by a nurse on her way to work to the local hospital, so she just got taken straight to A&E...

Low code is no replacement for software development, say German-speaking SAP users

Re: Deja vu all over again

Or even The Last One from 1981.

I've retired now, but I spent nearly forty years writing software, and I never saw any sign that it's going to be replaced with some magic that will allow end users to write software without knowing what they are doing. And I'd bet that anyone starting a new career in software this year will still have a job in twenty years time.

Go ahead, be rude. You don't know it now, but it will cost you $350,000

Re: Now ask me why ...

Many years ago, in Aviemore, I met a drunken Glaswegian eating a pie. He was incredibly friendly and chatty, but the drunkeness made it hard, and the pie made it harder. I can truthfully state that the only bit I was sure I understood was when I heard him say, laughingly, "Ah, ye canna oonderstand the dialect!"

Sizewell C nuclear plant up for review as UK faces financial black hole

Re: Daft

Thatcher gets blamed because she was the one who started the neoliberal mess we are still saddled with. Along with shutting down our manufacturing industry, and selling off all our state assets and North Sea Oil, and using the money to reduce taxes (mainly for the rich) rather than investing in our future. As a direct result, we now have the first generation of kids for YEARS who are generally worse off than their parents,

(Yes, yes, I know, she dealt with the over-strong unions too. But what a bloody cost.)

Re: Daft

Comprehensive schools were not introduced against parent's wishes - only against the wishes of the parents of the 10% who went to grammar schools.

And the introduction (and retaining) of comprehensive schools has been demonstrated to be better overall for most kids. So, the change was evidence based - something the current government has no interest in whatsoever.

Agreed to some extent about student fees and loans. But it's not that simple either - there was a demand for more higher education as we went towards a more skills-based system (mainly due to the fact that our manufacturing base got shut down by Thatcher.)

And the "great system" we had had been massively underfunded by the Tories. You can argue as much as you like about some of the things that Labour did, but they DID significatly increase spending on education, and for those few years, building were repaired, new schools were built, teachers were well paid and schools had reasonably sized classes.

And finally - Blair sent his kids to a state school. The London Oratory is a state Catholic school. Get your facts right.

Minecraft's 'first luxury goods collection' features real-world $3,000 Burberry coat

You exaggerate. The t-shirt is only $570. That's $20 for the t-shirt and $550 for the word "Burberry" in a naff font on the front. A bargain - I'm getting two.

No, I will not pay the bill. Why? Because we pay you to fix things, not break them

Re: I have a problem..

Yes - I used to be rated on an international team (UK and US) against my peers.

So we'd get things like:-

Did such-and-such do a good job on that project?

UK answer. "Yes, very good job - 8/10"

US answer. "Hell, yeah! 10/10!"

And of course, you tend to know the people better in your own part of the world. And as a result, the US guys tended to get more of the promotions than the UK guys...

Re: It goes far beyond that ...

Or Bacchus. There's a reason for the word bacchanalian.

Re: It goes far beyond that ...

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil-worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?

(For some reason, when I first heard that, it really tickled me...)

To make this computer work, users had to press a button. Why didn't it work? Guess

Re: Bad design

Unless you've never driven a car that has a "Start" button instead of a keyhole.

Actually, my E-type had a keyhole for the ignition key, and also a "Start" button to turn the engine over to start it.

It's not that interesting, but I just wanted an excuse to mention that I once owned an E-type.

Those screws on the Apple Watch Ultra are a red herring

Hear hear. I HATE those rare days that I forget to put my watch on. You feel such a pillock looking at a blank wrist to find out the time.

And my watch was my 40th birthday present from my wife - it's nice to be reminded of that every time I want to know the time.

There's no good reason a smartwatch can't last as long as a regular watch, with normal servicing.

But then how do I show my friends a brand new shiny-shiny every couple of years?

Tongues wag that Softbank's Son may sell Arm to Samsung

Re: Wrong

Different words, though.

Shut it simply means shut your mouth (or shut yr maarf in Sarf Lunnon)

And it's definitely "get shot of", not "get shut of"...

Can reflections in eyeglasses actually leak info from Zoom calls? Here's a study into it

Re: “Eyeglasses”? What is this, the 18th century?

It's quite an old film, but at one point in Twelve Angry Men, a bunch of the characters have a discussion about eyeglasses. Never thought of it till now, but it is an odd word to use. Over here in the UK, it's normally "glasses" or sometimes "specs". Also, "sunglasses" or "sunspecs".

Chemical plant taken offline by the best one of all: C₈H₁₀N₄O₂

Coffee or even Coke - no problem !

I used to work for a company that made coin mechanisms - the sort you used to find in Coke machines and similar.

Those things were designed to continue working even if Coke was spilt into them - because that's what people would do deliberately to try to break them.

Rest in peace, Queen Elizabeth II – Britain's first high-tech monarch

Re: Not my Queen

And one more point. Charles became King at the moment that the Queen died. The monarchy is seamless - which is why the Royal Standard is the only flag not at half-mast.

The Accession Council is merely approving and announcing the transition. It's tradition - it doesn't actually change anything.

Quite right - my mistake.

From one spelling and grammar pedant to another - bravo!

Also, the driving test was suspended during WW2. I believe that if you have a provisional licence for two years, you could just apply for a full license.

Using the datacenter as a dining room destroyed the platters that matter

Careful who you're talking to...

In the days of batch runs, in my first job, a friend of mine told me about an operator on the evening shift in the machine room who was in the habit of taking his evening meal and a couple of beers in there.

Someone came up to him and said "What do you think you're doing eating in here?"

He responded "And who the fuck are you?"

To which the answer came back "I'm the fucking divisional manager. Who the fuck are you?"

Salesperson's tech dream delivered by ill-equipped consultant who charged for the inevitable fix

Re: Now quickest interview ...

OK - what did I say to deserve a thumbs-down? Is someone really affronted because I don't want to work in defence? (I wouldn't have worked for a tobacco company either, though that "opportunity" never came up.)

Anyway, retired now - don't have to worry about that any more.

Re: Now quickest interview ...

My two quickest interviews were when I was a contractor.

The first was when I arrived, and the guy thanked me for coming, and said "So, first question - where do you see yourself in five years time?" I was a bit surprised, and said "Well, I don't know, but I don't expect it to be here..." It rapidly transpired that they didn't need a contractor, they were looking for a permie. The guy apologised profusely, and paid my expenses. The agent who sent me along got an earful from me, and no doubt got an earful from the company too.

The other one was even quicker. I didn't do defence work - it clearly stated that at the very top of my CV. An agent phoned me, and asked me to interview at Decca Data Systems. I got a confirmatory letter (long ago, before email!), which fortunately arrived on the morning of the interview - which was when I discovered the company was in fact Decca Defence Systems. So I phoned the guy who was expecting to interview me, apologised and told him I wasn't going to be coming for a job I clearly wasn't going to accept. He was very nice about it. Unlike the agent, who had the temerity to ask me why I hadn't gone to the interview.

I said - because I don't do defence work.

She said - Why not?

I said - Not that it's any of your business, but it's a matter of principle.

She said - Well, that's all very well in principle.

I said - It's worked out fine for me in practice too, and put the phone down on her. Didn't use that agent again.

Re: Sold for the wrong job

Not your fault you'd lost a day - I would have thought the company should have reimbursed you anyway. I'd have made a lot of noise about it.

That 'clean' Google Translate app is actually Windows crypto-mining malware

Re: Clever catch

Annoying, isn't it. If only the people responsible for this, and other, clever malware had instead turned their skills to legitimate ends - you never know, we might actually have some secure browsers and operating systems that worked well.

LG makes a TV roughly the size of a queen-sized bed

Re: Parlor Walls

The Veldt - first story in the "Illustrated Man" collection.

You're welcome.

Nuclear power is the climate superhero too nervous to wear its cape

Downvoted for your use of the oh-so-clever-and-funny bureaucrazy - not once but twice.

Keep your cables tidy. You never know when someone might need some wine

Re: My girlfriend did it

Back in the very early eighties, a new multiprocessor system was being demonstrated at a trade fair in Germany. It was literally the prototype - the only one that was working in the world.

The boss managed to spill his beer into it.

Every card was removed from the rack, and carefully rinsed with water and dried. The backplane was also carefully washed and dried. It was all put back together, with fingers crossed and a prayer or two offered up to the gods of technology. Power was applied....

It sprang into life, like it had never been away.

Psst … Want to buy a used IBM Selectric? No questions asked

In one of my early jobs, our company built a box and modification that converted a Brother electric typewriter to a parallel printer. Which meant that you could get, for a fairly reasonable price, a letter-quality parallel printer (rather than a dot-matrix not-quite-so-letter quality).

(For those who are interested...yhe electric typewriter keyboard was basically an array of push switches on a grid - the hardware was a ribbon cable soldered to the grid, and the hardware was a little multiprocessor that took the parallel printer input and converted it to signals which simulated a key being pressed. It was quite a fun job - writing the microprocessor code and working in parallel with the hardware guy debugging his hardware. Worked very nicely, albeit a bit slow!)

Weird Flex, but OK: Now you can officially turn these PCs, Macs into Chromebooks

Re: Wait... what? Now you can officially turn Macs into Chromebooks!?!

Particularly when you see the amount you can get on eBay for your Pre-2014 MacBook...you might well end up in profit !

The perfect crime – undone by the perfect email backups

Re: No doubt it's easy to do if you know how...

Should have thought of that! Thanks. I'll bear it in mind for the future. Have an upvote,

Re: "Delete" = "Hide"

First programmed a computer when I was at school, in 1969, in Basic, Algol and Fortran. Started work in 1976. Worked in real-time software development and infrastructure development and support on early message switching systems, theatre lighting, POS systems, and market data systems, using Assembler, C, Python, running on CP/M, UNIX and Linux. I've written software for bespoke real-time microprocessor systems, debugging the software in partnership with the engineer debugging his hardware. I've worked on infrastructure development for complex networks of dozens of machines. Retired in 2015.

Still use computers every day (Chromebooks and Linux boxes, no Windows), still writing occasional bash scripts.

No, I don't think I'm new to computers. But I don't know everything about them, and I don't know easily how to type Greek characters.