* Posts by Jesthar

98 posts • joined 20 Mar 2008

Page:

BOFH: It's Friday, it's time to RTFM

Jesthar

Not only do they multipy, but they can turn on their masters too. I run a monthly report known as the MONARCH report (because it is the One Report To Rule Them All, and I couldn't get away with using MORDOR ;) ).

I named the thing and it had a definite clever meaning, but after ten years even I can't remember what it stands for, only that the MON was short for 'Monthly.'

Of course, it still pays dividends - when we needed some secondary reports, they naturally became known as the Prince of Wales report (PoW), and then the Duke of Cambridge (DoC)... We did draw the line at Princess Beatrice, though!

Jesthar

Re: I need some THC

We have one of those somewhere on our intranet - or used to, haven't seen it in a while... We are a specialist industry, so it kind of makes sense - we may as well be speaking Klingon sometimes as far as outsiders are concerned.

I do recall one time we moved into a new building when the managers running the orientation session proudly decreed than this building was to be an 'acronym free zone', and we were to use the full and proper terms for everything from now on and correct anyone who forgot. I only remember this as I got corrected by one of them in the meeting for saying PPE rather than Personal Protective Equipment at some point.

Reality, of course, mean the edict never survived us all leaving the room ;)

Germany orders Sept 1 shutdown of digital ad displays to save gas

Jesthar

Re: Exceptions for such dual-purpose signs have been arranged.

"I’d almost forgotten the aroma of a gas tap left open. Didn’t “they” have to add something for safety to aroma-less North Sea Gas or is my memory playing tricks?"

Indeed they did. My University campus had a site wide evacuation one day because a factory up the road that makes that smell had a leak...

BOFH and the case of the disappearing teaspoons

Jesthar
Terminator

'Teaspoon with a fairly large handle...'

Was anyone else thinking shovels at this point? ;)

Great to see the return of the 'terrible accident!' :D

Doctor gave patients the wrong test results due to 'printer problems'

Jesthar

I don't mind training users...

...but the training varies depending on the complexity of the situation and the IT intelligence of the user. ;)

For situations where the problem and solution can be explained to the user in a way they can comprehend, I will edtucate the user.

For more complex stuff, or where trying to get a particular user to do it themselves would be dangerous, I just tell them I've worked some magic and it's all better now.

This has been successful to such an extent that some users just ask me to "wave your magic wand and fix X" when putting in requests :)

BOFH: Who us? Sysadmins? Spend time with other departments?

Jesthar

Re: Good start

There was an Arty Murray years ago, in the last episode before the BOFH moved to El Reg: http://www.bofharchive.com/1999/bastard99-27.html

His fate was discussed in the first El Reg episode: https://www.theregister.com/2000/05/09/bofh_returns_from_the_dead/

:)

Google Russia goes broke after bank account snatched

Jesthar

Re: woke-global-climate-change-bullcrap

Traditional hydrocarbons (coal, oil, NG) are finite - hence the qualifier.

Last I checked, most F-T processes use coal or NG to produce synthetic oil. Biomas is useable, but lagging behind in terms of commercial development and has more technical challenges. Could be useful if it can utilise primarily waste biomass from manufacturing/food processing, otherwise it's just converting one traditional non-renewable hydrocarbon to an alternate format - at a net energy loss, of course.

Sabatier does have a better track record using wood as a carbon source (though coal and NG are still more common), but it also seems to have found a key role in renewable energy heavy systems as a method of using excess energy when demand is low to produce fuel that can be used on demand to cover shortfalls when demand is high.

Sure, renewables are far from perfect, and need to improve a lot in many ways. But maybe recent events will provide the catalyst for focussing minds on trying to make those improvements, now that there will be a lot more profit to be made - especially by the first to crack the various problems., particularly regarding sustainable microgeneration I suspect.

Jesthar

Re: woke-global-climate-change-bullcrap

Given that the tradiional hydrocarbon fuels are indeed a finite resouce, I am genuinely curious as to how you envisage replacing them in a long term sutainable fashion?

BOFH: Something's consuming 40% of UPS capacity – and it's coming from the beancounters' office

Jesthar

Re: I love the smell of burning beancounter kit in the morning

In that case, I call crabwise to the Strand...

Putin reaches for nuclear option: Zuckerberg banned

Jesthar

Re: I know, right?

I've always liked Billy Joel's "Great Wall Of China" - more subtle than direct in some in places, but some very clever expressions of the "We could have had everything, but you chose the douchebag route" sentiment. I believe it was aimed at his manager (a family member) who embezzled/mishandled millions of his earnings over the years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HP_uDksJu0

Under pressure, SAP shuts down Russian operations

Jesthar

Re: Fight back / ramp down

Well, to be fair, it's a bit easier to remove tech support than a country-wide dependency on hydrocarbons. ;) One involves a major reworking and re-resourcing of critical national infrastructure by dedicated specialists, the other just involves not picking up the phone and binning support tickets (so, lack-of-service as usual, then, in my experience of this particular vendor... ;) )

It will be interesting to see how many Western businesses will dip a toe back into Russian waters once all this is over. One has to think that having been badly bitten once, they may be reluctant to gamble again.

Finnish govt websites knocked down as Ukraine President addresses MPs

Jesthar

Re: Fuck NATO, their British overlords, and everyone in it

"Downvoting was meant as a self-moderation tool for harmful content and you lot are using it as "I don't like this and no one else should see it" button and as a way if reinforcing in-group beliefs (a.k.a.echo chambers)."

Whilst I can only speak for myself, from general experience I suspect that is a very niche way of interpreting upvoting and downvoting on a forum. Personally my interpretation has always been:

Upvote/Like - "I agree with the general content, sentiment and/or opinion expressed in this post," i.e a tool to allow quick expression of personal agreement, not a self-moderation tool.

Downvote/Dislike - "I disagree with the general content, sentiment and/or opinion expressed in this post," i.e. a tool to allow quick expression of personal disagreement, not a self-moderation tool.

Report abuse/Flag to moderators - "In my opinion this post contravenes the posting rules of this forum and should be considered for removal," i.e. a tool to draw the post to the attention of official moderating staff for judgement, not a self moderation tool.

Hide post/Hide all from this poster - "The opinions expressed by this post/person do not break forum rules but are not things I wish to see." I don't believe we have this option here, but it is the closest I have encountered on any forum to being a self moderation tool.

Russian media watchdog bans Google from advertising its services

Jesthar
Black Helicopters

Re: Doublespeak

Yes, but you have to ensure it is the updated 2022 version - "Special Military Operation and State Imposed Peace"

Intel suspends all operations in Russia weeks after halting chip shipments

Jesthar

Well, it's a fine list of whataboutery, I'll give you that, but I'm not entirely sure what your point is? Ukraine had a civil war against armed Russian backed separatists, therefore it deserves to be invaded by Russia? A specific peace treaty in Ukraine didn't last (twice - the first Minsk treaty suffered violations back and forth from both sides, the second Minsk treaty was almost immediately broken by a significant offensive from Russian backed separatists), therefore we should let Russia impose 'peace' for them? Ukraine is corrupt, therefore they can't be the victim of war crimes? Civilians died elsewhere, so it shouldn't be a concern in Ukraine? We shouldn't interfere in conflicts between other people, except when we should?

It's pretty much guaranteed that some civilians will die in any conflict. There is, however, a difference between collateral damage and deliberate targeting of civilians, and military forces are supposed to do all they can to minimise the risk to non-combatants. That part of the Geneva Conventions came about after WW2, the Blitz, and the subsequent flattenng of much of Germany by the Allies and Russia. Sure, there are going to be mistakes made. But it's hard to look upon the presence of mass graves, corpses with bound hands and execution style wounds, numerous reports of rape etc. and claim that is collateral damage.

As to corruption - well, yes, Ukraine has a corruption problem, second only to Russia in the whole of Europe if memory serves. That problem started with the collapse of the Soviet Union, and pretty much escalated identically alongside and in the same way as the Russian problem - until 2014, and the Revolution of Dignity. Since then, they've been slowly but steadily trying to root out corruption. They may have a long way to go, but at least they are trying. Maybe someday they'll only be as corrupt as, say, the US, or the UK.

Bottom line, this is an imperfect world and the human race makes a lot of mistakes. But we can always try and do better than before. Yes, that means we'll probably make more mistakes, as the only way to never make a mistake is to never do anything. Personally, I think that letting Russia have their way in Ukraine (which, essentially, involves the erasure of Ukraine as a separate culture and people) would be a mistake. Maybe you see that differently.

Jesthar

Really? You're going there?

Neither situation is nice, but looking at the hard, cold statistics, Israel/Palestine hasn't racked up as many dead (on both sides) in 18 years as Putin's invasion managed in 18 days (with many more since). Which is hardly surprising given that Putin sent 150,000+ troops into Ukraine and merrily ordered them to flatten anything in their path after the initial plan (to be welcomed as liberating heroes and surgically remove the Ukrainian government within a few days) descended into total chaos when both the government and everyday Ukranians said "Ni" and refuse to roll over and meekly surrender as expected.

There are also a lot more legal complexities surrounding Palestine - but middle eastern politics is way too complicated for the likes of me to get my head around, so I'm not going there.

Feds slay dark-web souk Hydra: Servers and $25m in crypto-coins seized

Jesthar

Re: Here's an idea

Why is it the cynic in me suspects the huge profit margins might well remain, and just be collected by pharmaceutical companies instead...

If you fire someone, don't let them hang around a month to finish code

Jesthar

Re: Morals

Agreed - sometimes the boot is the best option.

Many moons ago I was IT admin in an engineering department of a big company. One of the project engineers was an absolute social turd - OK at his actual job, but delighted in antagonising others for the sole purpose of mocking and humiliating them to 'prove' his knowledge superiority. Women were a favourite target, so I was firmly in his sights until I out-argued him numerous times with witnesses (to the point where he would walk away when I arrived, which regularly let me run interference when he picked on the office admin girls).

I will add that our managers were decent and would normally have dealt with people like that pretty swiftly, but this guy was also an ethnic minority, VERY well versed in discrimination law (to the point of exploiting it for profit as a significant second income stream by suing people and businesses regularly), and played the race/discrimination card at the drop of a hat. So there was a certain amount of extra caution, and Mr Obnoxious clearly believed he was Teflon.

Until one evening my boss discreetly approached me as I was wrapping up for the day and quietly asked how long it would take to lock Mr Obnoxious out of certain key systems. "About 30 seconds, why?" I replied. "Please do it now - he's about to have a meeting he won't be coming back from. He'll probably win an unfair dismissal claim, but HR have said it's worth it to be rid of him..."

Shortly after, I left the building with a big grin on my face. Rumour had it the meeting was 'interesting, and loud' ;)

IT advice fuelled by beer is the best IT advice of all, right?

Jesthar

Re: He is very bright

My university had a tounge in cheek 'glossary of terms' in the freshers handouts. If memory serves, one entry read:

"Lecture: A period time wherin the first ten minutes is usually spent watching someone with three PhDs trying to figure out how to work the lights and OHP"

File suffixes: Who needs them? Well, this guy did

Jesthar
Facepalm

Re: Users!

Or the amount of effort they are willing to put in to doing things the wrong way...

'I'm telling you, I haven't got an iPad!' – Sent from my iPad

Jesthar

Do not provoke the Keeper of the Logfiles...

User: WHY is my account on your system DEACTIVATED? I need CONSTANT access to do my Very Important Job! And look, I decided to cc in all my local senior managers so they know how inconvenienced I am by your incompetence!

Me: Here's a screenshot proving you haven't logged in for over five years, and it's been deactivated nearly as long. And yes, I DID just use Reply To All...

UK finds itself almost alone with centralized virus contact-tracing app that probably won't work well, asks for your location, may be illegal

Jesthar

Re: Of course, being centrally controlled

You have to look beyond the weasel words. Of course he's going to be defending the app - it's kind of his job. But it's easy to keep repeating how everyone is wrong about it whilst not actually offering any specific details or answers to concerns, whilst deflecting from the real privacy concerns with constant reference to the app not 'tracking' anyone, when the real concerns come from the uniquely-to-your-app coded data which would be sent to the central server if you pushed the button - data you then lose all control over and can be used however the recipents see fit for - well, forever.

And, technically speaking, he's not wrong when he says the app doesn't track people - the app itself (in it's current incarnation, anyway - who knows how it might evolve) isn't a tracker in the way most people would use that term (like the running/cycling route tracker apps). It's the central server that does that part, isn't it...

Anyway, I'll trust El Reg over a government minister any day when it comes to technical analysis and honesty ;)

BOFH: When was the last time someone said these exact words to you: You are the sunshine of my life?

Jesthar

Re: Putting the bodies under the floorboards

Speaking as a fellow cat slave, try changing their diet. You wouldn't BELIEVE the difference switching to grain free food made to the - er - odour component of solid offerings with my two.

Also, CatSan is crap ;)

Microsoft Notepad: If it ain't broke, shove it in the Store, then break it?

Jesthar

Re: Blink... Notepad?

Exactly - sometimes simple is extremely useful.

I don't do server stuff myself, but I still use notepad pretty much every day in my job - have yet to find a better way of stripping all formatting and hyperlinks off text in one swift move for moving between various applications, and I need to do that multiple times most days.

Fake broadband ISP support scammers accidentally cough up IP address to Deadpool in card phish gone wrong

Jesthar

Re: Dirty Scammers

Mum and I have an ongoing competition for how long we can keep these muppets on the phone. Currently, she's winning - and she doesn't even have a computer! :D

My favourite call was quite brief, though, and still makes me laugh! As I recall, it went roughly as follows:

Scammer: (heavy Indian accent) Ma'am this is David and I'm calling from BT, how are you today?

Me: (opting for the bright and breezy approach) Awake!

Scammer: Ma'am, the reason I am calling is that we are worried about your internet, for the past few nights it has been sending us error messages which indicate to us it is being used illegally at night, do you understand?

Me: (thoughtfully) Riiight...

Scammer: Ma'am, we're talking about your router, OK? It's been hacked, OK?

Me: (energetically) Oh, right! Hang on, I work in IT, let me check the logs!

Scammer: You're an IT professional?

Me: Yes!

Scammer: Right. I am talking to Mrs <surname>, yes?

Me: No! (Not married, and not going to correct them!)

Scammer: (confused, talking loudly to self) Then who the hell are *YOU*?

Me: (trying not to laugh) Well, that's not very polite for this time in a morning!

Scammer: (realises he said the last sentance out loud, not in his head!) >click<

BOFH: Password HELL. For you, mate, not for me

Jesthar
Facepalm

Re: "I rarely get cold calls"

I had a brilliant outcome to a scam call a couple of weeks ago...

Scammer: (heavy Indian accent) Ma'am this is David and I'm calling from BT, how are you today?

Me: (Deciding on the bright and breezy appoach) Awake!

Scammer: Ma'am, the reason I am calling is that we are worried about your internet, for the past few nights it has been sending us error messages which indicate to us it is being used illegally at night, do you understand?

Me: (thoughtfully) Riiight...

Scammer: Ma'am, we're talking about your router, OK? It's been hacked, OK?

Me: (energetically) Oh, right! Hang on, I work in IT, let me check the logs!

Scammer: You're an IT professional?

Me: Yes!

Scammer: (sounding wary) Right. I am talking to Mrs <surname>, yes?

Me: Nope! (Not married, and not going to correct them!)

Scammer: (confused, talking loudly to self) Then who the hell are *YOU*?!?

Me: (trying not to laugh) Well, that's not very polite for this time in a morning!

Scammer: (realises he said the last sentence out loud, not in his head!) >click<

Kept me laughing for days, that did! :D

Ted Nugent fined for failing to kill bear

Jesthar

Re: Weird laws for sure

Yup, check these out: http://voices.yahoo.com/top-20-silliest-laws-alaska-275833.html

Think my favourite has to be #3 - "It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane" - I don't think I want to know HOW they wound up with that one...!

Facebook shoves your face into creepy 'sponsored stories' in 2012

Jesthar

Re: missing the point I think

Being as I never respond to anything other than non-public family invites anyway (which come along once in a blue moon), and never public invites, highly unlikely I'll be featured anywhere. No comfort to other users, I know, but I did only say that *I* could live with it ;)

And if Failbook starts broadcasting private events to the world and his dog, then that's going to meet with some pretty vicious user backlash I should think...

Jesthar
Pirate

Finally, a stupid Failbook change I can live with

Firefox + AdblockPlus = What Adverts? ;)

Highlighted stories, on the other hand - *I* want to choose what I deem to be important, thank you. And DON'T think I haven't noticed that no matter how many times I un-Highlight any 'FriendX read these news articles' posts, you still keep highlighting them.

Then again, I only have the wretched thing to get regular updates on family, or I'd get rid of it in a heartbeat...

Fake doc cuffed in concrete arse shocker

Jesthar
Facepalm

Indeed. Sounds like a potential CSI episode...

... maybe entitled "How Do You Solve A Problem Like My Rear?"

BOFH: We don't need no stinkin' upgrade

Jesthar
Alert

I'm looking forwards to a quintuple whammy of this next year...

...as my workplace in rapid succession:

1. Does a major upgrade of one critical document management system

2. Replaces shared drives with another, very different document management system

3. Changes from Lotus Notes to MS Outlook

4. Upgrades from XP to Win7 - AND switches many to virtual desktops (aaargh - thankfully excluded from that one!)

5. Switches from Office 2002 (yes, 2002, not 2003) to Office 10

Yup, that's going to be fun on the few thousand user scale...

BOFH: Where's my free fondleslab?

Jesthar
Thumb Up

Perhaps not a classic...

...but I giggled my way through it :D

Beer bottle shagging beetles with HUGE MEMBERS win prize

Jesthar

Would be fun to try in London, though ;)

I'm not sure the car flattening only being a stunt has any bearing on being awarded the prize - he was just demonstrating that running them over with an APC was a potentially practicable way of solving the problem. And isn't that what scientific research is primarily concerned with, the exploration and validation (or otherwise) of hypotheses and/or theories? ;)

BOFH: Attack of the Global Corporate Overlords

Jesthar
Pint

"You need *training* for that over here?"

*snerk* I salute you, sir. I am filing that one away for future use, if you don't mind - and as I'm a woman, that should confuse 'em! ;)

Classic episode, Simon - have a salue yourself, too :)

Vodafone's network knackered by thieves

Jesthar
Pirate

First rule of geekery - ALWAYS have a backup

"I now have an entire work force with no mobile communications. Does the phrase "single point of failure" spring to mind."

Comment from a friend of mine: "At some point last night, Voda realised they should have issued O2 or Orange mobiles to their callout engineers..."

Another nice slice of irony in our (rather major) Vodaphone-only company, though - we recently opened a new major office, where it was rapidly discovered only the Vodafone network got any decent signal in most of the building, despite perfect service levels on all networks immediately outside. Accusations of network blocking were dismissed with a 'not our problem - you can always change networks' from the brass.

Now the office has been beautifully devoid of annoying ringtones all morning, and the poor little Blackberry addicted dears are showing serious signs of withdrawal symptoms...

BOFH: There's no 'I' in team, but there's a 'u' in suck

Jesthar
Pirate

Can't believe I missed this for over a week!

But oh, what perfect timing - just this morning I received a huggy feely e-mail from H&S central about how they've been looking in to exciting ways to communicate their vision and emphasise that we're all in this together and everyone needs to be engaged.

Their grand idea? Yet another poster campaign... and the poster is bright pink with a 'zero tolerance to accidents' theme and a blank space to insert appropriate local messages and photographs to *really* encourage team engagement!

Well, I addressed the engagement part easily by logging out of the phone system. That just leaves the poster insertions to take care of...

;)

US Army 'to issue every soldier with a smartphone'

Jesthar

Probably an improvement on BOWMAN, though

Or "Better Off WIth Map And Nokia", as UK troops rapidly re-branded it...

But hey, this is the military we're talking about - the brass aren't usually happy unless tech items cost twenty times more (and, more often that not, work twenty times worse) than off-the-shelf solutions would ;)

Russia wins World Cup bid in parrot-sickening travesty

Jesthar
Pirate

Don't care much about foolball, but I am hoping for a couple of things...

1. WikiLeaks vs FIFA

2. Israel qualifying

Now THAT would be entertainment ;)

Scareware cold-callers target 1 in 4

Jesthar
Pirate

I now almost wish...

...I'd answered that 'Out Of Area' call which was ringing on the house phone when I walked out the door this morning. Oh, well, hope the cat had her fun with them!

My Mum got one of these calls last year. On paper she might look like your perfect mark (retired, not techie etc.), but she's no dunce and I've trained her well - she played along, kept the scammer talking for as long as possible and got as much information out of them as she could (whilst taking comprehensive notes for me), before merrily informing them she didn't even own a PC so they must be spinning her a pack of lies.

From what she told me, I don't think the overseas gentleman on the other end of the phone appreciated her line by line refutation and demolition of his carefully rehearsed script... ;)

BOFH: BOFH vs Bot: Ultimate Smackdown

Jesthar
Thumb Up

Never mind the demise of the boss

"Facebook users" - classic!

Only reason my desk isn't wearing a layer of tea is because I know enough to put the beverages down before reading a new BOFH :D

Hacker unshackles Kinect from Xbox

Jesthar
FAIL

These bytes were made for cracking

Given that the first programmable digital computer in the world (Colossus) was brought into existance for the sole purpose of cracking hardware based encryption (the Lorenz cipher), one has to wonder why Microsoft are surprised that the oldest historic computing tradition continues... ;)

BOFH: You just can't go around killing people

Jesthar
Terminator

Oh, please, please, PLEASE can I borrow it?

I could do *SO* much good with one of those around here...

*prints pictures of certain lusers*

Loving it - particularly the Die Hard line! :D

Panasonic bags Avatar 3D BD exclusive

Jesthar
Alien

Exclusive rights "until 31 January 2011"

Well, now, that's only three months away. Plus maybe a little longer for alternatives to hit the shops. But it still means that the only thing required is a modicum of patience, and then you'll get to see Pandora in all it's 3D glory on whatever brand of system you choose... ;)

Plus you should also be able to get the kit for a little bit less then, too, taking three months market maturity plus the January Sales into account.

Alien for obvious reasons - besides, even they wouldn't be tempted by such an obvious sucker play ;)

BOFH: Join the club

Jesthar
Pint

Re: Not catalysts

"That's an experiment demonstrating oxidation. The difference in oxidation energies between the iron and aluminium means that the aluminium violently takes the oxygen from the iron oxide, hence the fierce reaction.

The magnesium is there for 2 reasons: firstly, the activation energy for the thermite is quite large, so having something easily lit that burns hot enough to ignite the reaction is a plus. Secondly, the magnesium ribbon burning down gives the teacher time to get away from the reaction before it starts"

Yes, I remember the running away and hiding bit! ;) And the plexiglass protective screens, and the goggles etc. And the headmistress wandering in halfway through with some prospective parents and getting quite a scare as the thing went up! ;)

Anyway, it's over just over half a lifetime since that demonstration, so my memory is a little fuzzy on the precise details... ;) I'm /fairly/ sure there was an unmentioned catalyst in the mix, but I can't remember what it was. And I could be wrong.

But, hey - things went boom in a suitably spectacular, ceiling damaging manner, and that's what really matters, eh? ;)

Jesthar
Thumb Up

Ahhh, fun with magnesium!

Excellent! :D It'd be ruddy difficult to keep track of for avoidance purposes, too - magnesium burns too brightly to watch directly.

How do I know this? At school we had a chemistry teacher who decided to demonstrate catalysts in action using a rather volitile experiment of creating iron from iron oxide + aluminium powder as a catalyst and a heat source - in this case, a magnesium fuse. It was so much fun, she demonstrated it twice!

Slighty bigger version of what she did here:

http://www.davidavery.co.uk/thermite/index.htm

So, assuming the robot had aluminium panels... ;)

As for our results - well, last time I re-visited that classroom, there were still bits of iron embedded in the ceiling... ;)

Guardian super-blogger flames Reg boffinry desk

Jesthar

I'm gonna regret this, aren't I?

I really, really should know better than this, but here goes...

I, for one, like the fact that El Reg posts climate change articles with sceptical overtones (with a side order of tongue-in-cheek humour). It makes such a a refreshing change from the usual on-with-the-hair-shirt-and-ram-it-down-the-throat-whilst-castigating-the-unbelieving-heretics approach favoured by many other news outlets. I may or may not agree with any particular article, but at least I don't feel like I'm expected to go gird myself in sackcloth and find a nice pile of (carbon-footprint-enhancing-rainforest-destroying) ashes in which to wallow in penitance during self-flagellation once I've finished reading.

Regarding my position on climate chance, I suspect I find myself in one similar to many people - accepting as logical that the various CO2 producing activities of man affect the planet, but warily unsure as to what extent due to the general hype and what we strongly suspect is associated profiteering. Not that we'd ever admit this in person, of course (or that we're heartily sick of the phrase 'Carbon footprint' and it's associates to the point where we're starting to consider boycotting companies repeatedly labouring such points in their advertising), as we fear being mown down by the 'how can you not understand this is a CRISIS!?!' brigade - or, at least, deafened by their megaphones.

I don't expect to be fully able to understand the details of the complex science of climate change as I'm a BOFH, not a boffette. Come to that, on the evidence of even just this article and counter article, it would seem a strong probablility that no-one really does. After all, I seem to remember a time from my younger days (and I am not far into my third decade) when the boffins were worried about global cooling and whether there was a real possibility of another Ice Age if we weren't careful. What I would like to see, though, is the basic facts and figures presented in a non-biased, unhyped, non-agenda pushing way, but I strongly suspect that isn't going to happen (thanks to EITHER side, please note). Of course, if anyone knows different, links are welcome!

Anyway, I long ago decided to throw away the hair shirt and just carry on doing all the little things I can, if only to stop the greedy utility companies from getting their hands on more than the just-under-£40-a-month they currently extract from my bank balance...

Cambridge chap's todger topiary gets the chop

Jesthar
Grenade

Time to up the ante ;)

Next stop, a full size replica of Michaelangelos 'David' - after all, that's *culture* ;)

BOFH: Robot wars

Jesthar
Thumb Up

Still laughing!

Thank you, Simon! I needed that after this week!

Oh, and am I the only one who expected the line:

“Still, they think they’ve nailed it this time...”

to be followed up with a nasty nailgun incident? Ah, well, maybe next time ;)

Oz pedestrians fall to 'Death by iPod'

Jesthar

Not just the player, but the headphones...

Possibly MAINLY the headphones. Back in the Walkman days, headphones were - lets face it -pretty awful, not much good at blocking out the surrounding world unless you forked out the megabucks, and in-ears models were practically non-existant.

Nowadays, a major selling point for headphones is just how well they block/cancel out the sounds of the world around you to provide you with a truly enclosed, unimpinged upon listening experience. Use those whilst out and about, and you may as well be clinically deaf, but without the associated learned survival skills.

I experienced this myself whilst driving to work a couple of years ago. I was approaching a junction where I had right of way, and a cyclist blithely lurched across the road right in front of my car. Thankfully I'd seen him coming and realised he wasn't going to see me and stop, but had I not hit the brakes in time I'd have taken out his front wheel. As he sailed past - still not seeing me or realising how close he'd just come to needing a few weeks in traction - I could see the white earphone cables trailing from under the helmet, and realised he was on another planet entirely...

Joy Division designer tackles England footie strip

Jesthar
Stop

Re: I was there... I always will be...

"As for commentards knocking the squad... You only have one national team. Be proud of it and support it - or (1) emigrate and stop with the whining already, (2) get out there and do better yourself."

Correction. We have plenty more than *one* national team. We have quite a lot, including more than one just for football (women's team, under 21's etc.). And many of them are doing significantly better on the international stage than the Premier League Prima Donna love in that is the England Mens Football Team.

Of course, these are teams from other sports, and as such may be unheard of amongst the ranks of those for whom Football is a matter more important than life and death. But for those who dare poke their heads aboth the terrace parapets for more than a brief moment there is a valuable lesson to be learned - many of these other teams are actually doing quite well!

Our Rugby teams in both formats are held in high regard, and our Cricket teams have also been enjoying a few good years, including Ashes success. Our athletics team has been steadily improving for quite a long time, and have even been winning some Olympic and World gold medals. Our rowers, swimmers and sailors are regularly blowing much of the opposition out of the water (metaphorically speaking ;) ), and our cycling and equestrian teams are also often at the head of their respective field. Heck, even our Winter Olympians and our gymnasts have been bringing home the medals!

About the only team that comes to mind which is performing to the same level as the England Mens Football Team is the Davis Cup Tennis Team. Nuff said, I think!

I should note that, whilst I am not a football fan and rarely watch internationals on TV, I would actually like us to do well on the international football stage, if only so we get a reprieve from "1966 and all that". But until the current lot work out how to actually play together as a unit, or they drop some of the egomaniacs and draft in some players that may not be *quite* as talented but actually understand the concept of teamwork, it ain't going to happen. Until then, and *EVEN* then, let us *please* remember that football is not the only sport... ;)

(typed with tounge firmly planted in cheek - well, mainly ;) )

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