* Posts by David S

293 publicly visible posts • joined 28 Mar 2007

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MS Word edit history snares Scottish Labour on donations

David S

@Iglethal

Excellent idea. Does that mean that my new political party, the... um... Register Readers party, will be eligible for funding at the same level as Labour or the Conservatives?

No? Why not?

When people donate to their political party of choice, the return that they receive for their donation is the knowledge that they have helped to support a party which (broadly) represents their views. In theory.

Of course, Theory's a great place (everything works there, for a start) but I've never actually managed to visit it. Where we live, political donations do coincide strangely with the government over-ruling local auhorities blocking developments, for example. The solution? FIIK, I'm afraid. Vigilance and castigation of those found guilty is a start. When the guilty not only have friends in high places, but ARE friends in high places, though, then I'm afraid there may be little anyone can do.

Boffins in live-monkey-brain robot weblink arms race

David S
Joke

Already been done.

here's the proof:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1ZGIrNf71Q&feature=related

Tesco in X-rated Lawnmower Simulator shocker

David S

A classic...

http://www.youmustbejoking.demon.co.uk/als/

US woman fingered for Porky Pig drugs outrage

David S
Black Helicopters

And this is why...

...we desperately need a proper national (hell, make it international) ID database, so that silly situations like this can never, ever happen again to anybody.

</tonguecheek>

Running queries on the HMRC database fiasco

David S

@ Scott Broukell

Well, having worked for KPMG, I can say without doubt that there are people there who WOULD know all about data security, and how to securely delete a copy of a file. Their Forensic Accounting department, for example, frequently had to recover "deleted" and even "overwritten" data. They were quite the impressive bunch. Probably downsized in the interim, of course.

On the other hand, my abiding memory of KPMG was being called to a senior partner's office because he was having trouble opening a Word document. A short explanation of the difference between double-clicking (cli-click) and clicking twice (click click) was required.*

I rather fear that this would be the level of numptie with which these data would have been entrusted...

* Of course I can feel as superior as I like, but at the end of the day he was "earning" six figures for not knowing how to double-click while I, with all my wit and sophistication, struggle to support a family and a mortgage. Who has the last laugh?

Second jellyfish pack moves on UK

David S

@Christopher Rogers

Um... Chronic Indigestion?

Sagem's feature-less bling mobile

David S

That's it?

Oh come on. Most mobile handsets get pages of review. This seems a touch brief. I take it review length (and depth) is proportional to handset price these days?

And before we start getting snotty and saying stuff like "how deep a review does a POS like this need, guy?" I'd like to point out that this is precisely the sort of handset which is likely to be bought by or for kids. You know, "If you show that you can use this responsibly then we'll think about getting you the fancy model for your birthday" kind of thing. It would be nice to know how well it works first. I'm assuming that it doesn't have a camera, or MP3 player, or radio or any of the other gubbins which one rather takes for granted these days.

Mind you, at £15 a pop I could almost justify buying one to try it out myself...

New emails address you by name, then try to hose your PC

David S
Coat

Darwin Award

There IS a special IT Darwin award reserved for idiots who click links on spear-phishing emails. It's ver' special.

If you'd like to see it, click here.

Heh.

Facebook faces UK data probe

David S
Flame

I can kind of see their point...

"If you do want your information completely wiped from our servers, we can do this for you. However, you need to remove all profile content before we can do this."

I imagine this probably results from the desire to cover their own asses; deleting an account which has been actively cleared out is safer than deleting a carefully-crafted account which is full of whatever these people have on their accounts, when there's a chance they might have stepped away from their machine for five minutes to grab a cuppa (say) and the "Delete" button was pressed by their oh-so-funny flatmate...

Making the user jump through a hoop or two to confirm intent can sometimes be justified. Just saying.

Beer set to hit four quid a pint

David S
Coat

Hurrah for homebrew!

...And I don't even have a beard...

UN mandates stability control in trucks - cars to follow

David S

What Andy Enderby said. And...

Another idea might be compulsory re-sitting of driving tests every ten years or so, perhaps at increasingly advanced levels, and with the results influencing insurance premiums.

Quite like the spike-in-the-steering-wheel idea, but it would have done for Mrs Enderby when that idiot rear-ended her. Remember, you're not the only idiot on the road (as my old Dad used to say...)

Dutch teen swipes furniture from virtual hotel

David S
Thumb Down

Key point here...

Habbo hotel is aimed at teenagers. The fact that (a) habbo credit can be purchased "simply" by ringing a premium-rate phone number and (b) their target market generally has easy access to a telephone line for which they don't have to pay means that, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter how much these things cost. Mum and Dad's money is essentially "virtual" anyway, and it can be weeks before the phone bill hits the mat and the dungheap hits the windfarm...

I speak with some experience; our children went through a phase of near-addiction to this hideous phenomenon. Thing is, Habbo are sneaky fuckers, and you can forget about gettting your money back if your own kids have been roped into stealing it from you (which is what this amounts to) and the "community" is rife with would-be scammers and haxx0r5 who'll rip off any noob who's stupid enough to fall for their tricks. This little dutch boy seems to be the one that got caught, frankly.

On the one hand, it's probably helped our kids to become a little more savvy as a result. On the other hand, the scammers just keep getting more sophisticated. In terms of learning a valuable lesson... Well, expensive isn't the same as valuable, is it? Especially when someone else is footing the bill... I'm delighted to report that the "habbo" phase seems to have dwindled away. The bad news is that my digital camera is now choc-full of pictures of our pubescent daughters making "winsome" and pointing at their own mouths in a way that would make a pederast pitch. Hail bebo!

Lily Allen 'in talks' to become Doctor Who's assistant

David S
Joke

@Steven Walker

Are you her Mum?

Reminds me of this joke: Knock, knock...

21st century travel: building your own warp drive

David S
Coat

Finally! A resource that is in abundant supply!

Well, if it's negative energy we need, there should be a way to tap it out of all the interactions between real people and the civil servants who control their lives in HMRC, DVLA, CSA etc. Local government alone should be able to export plenty of the highest-grade negative energy from their Planning and Council Tax departments...

Dublin designer branches out with 'tree' PC

David S

Taking this a little seriously, chaps?

I mean, it's a €2000 prize for the coolest design concept. Okay, personally I prefer when the industrial designer pays as much attention to the "industrial" as to the "design" part of the brief but, in the name of all that is holy and good, wasn't this a competition for students? You know, those folks who, as a rule, haven't yet met the real world?

It's a cute concept. It has nothing much going for it in the real world, but it's cute. She has a shining future ahead of her in World2.0...

Mum sends stripper to teenage son's school

David S

About that other story, the "girl gets detention for hugging friend" one...

Cool quote from a school representative:

"It is in poor taste, reflects poor judgment, and brings discredit to the school and to the persons involved.”

And I agree entirely with that. Unfortunately, in my case, I'd be talking about the detentions, where I believe the representative was talking about the "displays of affection".

Uptight wierdos...

Fans beseige Shilpa Shetty's mobe

David S

@Lukin

"Do not bogart that shettyphone"

Priceless.

It's an interesting thought, though: I'm almost tempted to put my own number here, just to see what would happen. I mean, I'm an average, normal nonentity of a guy with what probably amount to fairly run-of-the-mill opinions and views (especially among the select audience round here) and I can't imagine any reason why anyone would call my number if it were published, or what they'd say once they did. "Heh. Hello. Um..." would probably pretty much sum it up. Or someone would dig up some random phrase from their subconscious, so there'd probably be a couple of "millennium hand and shrimp" in there, but otherwise I'm pretty sure my mobile life would continue undisturbed.

So why do I brick myself at the very idea of actually doing it? Mind you, I'm resisting the urge to post anonymously. I'm not that scared...

We need a "pondering chinscratch" icon.

US airforce: Solar 'leccy is too cheap to meter

David S

@Daniel

Ooh, you're right. That name does look familiar.

Must just be one of those really, really common names that keeps cropping up. Like Smith. Or Bush. Or Kennedy...

This page has been left intentionally blank

David S
Coat

@Anon

I'm sure that Ian wasn't using the word "knew" in the biblical sense there.

Pretty sure.

Laggard Apple lets Leopard virtualize

David S
Happy

@Abdul

"Sadly, there's one Vista feature that Apple seems totally unable to copy.

Quality."

Comedy genius. You even managed to deliver the line with a perfect deadpan expression. Brilliant...

Google succumbs to German cybersquatter's advances (maybe)

David S
Coat

Weekly commute between Europe and USA?

Hmm. If they gave him a job, I hope for the sake of the 'virumint it was Cologne-based. Also, for the sake of his relationship with his daughter.

Ooh, I know! Give him a T-shirt and make him a VP responsible for brand awareness...

How just thinking about terrorism became illegal

David S
Black Helicopters

Thoughtcrime

Golly. It's like we slipped back nearly twenty-four years and sideways into a fictional world.

Thoughtcrime doubleplusbad.

Oz nanoboffins punt paper-thin flak jacket plan

David S

Bloody hell. Did anyone else study A-level physics?

"The point about the bounce is that the energy is got rid of with the bullet - no dissipation across or permanent damage to the armour, no blunt impact to the wearer, at least one of which you'd need if the bullet just stopped."

Kinetic energy is (from rusty memory) (Mv^2)/2 and, if you remember, the difference between velocity and speed is that velocity takes direction into account. Now the word "bounce" suggests (to me, at least) a change in direction and, hence, a change in velocity. Which means a change in kinetic energy, which has to come from or go somewhere. In other words, the energy is not "got rid of" with the bullet; in fact, the energy required to "bounce" a bullet back at the same speed would be twice that required to bring it to a stop. (the change in velocity from x to -x is twice the change from x to 0.)

of course, it's possible that there was some special stuff that was glossed over for the A-level syllabus, and there have been some interesting developments in the umpty years since I sat the exam, but I'm pretty sure I'd have noticed if the fundamentals had been re-written to the extent that everything I've just coughed out of long-term storage was utter tosh...

Reaper aerial killbot harvests its first fleshies

David S

@Dennis Myhand

"A club, sword, or knife are not machines. A machine, by definition, has moving parts. Let's try and keep the discussion intelligent and keep it above the level of my High School students, please."

Oh dear. Don't you hate an inaccurate pedant? Actually, if my memory of high school physics is right, a machine is a device for the conversion or transmission of force or energy. In common use, it's a device which makes work easier. It doesn't have to have moving parts, though; one of the simplest machines is the inclined plane, which was good enough to help build pyramids with, but doesn't move an inch.

So. Clubs, swords and knives ARE machines. 'Kay?

Shocked Shatner shunted from Star Trek XI

David S

@Des

Funnily enough, I've also found myself siding with the cylons a bit; I could be wrong, but I have a feeling that's intentional. They're written as increasingly sympathetic characters as the story progresses.

Anyway. Aeryn Sun FTW. End of.

David S
Happy

although...

...I wouldn't kick seven of nine out of bed for trying to inject me with nanites...

Robo Developer Conference in pictures II

David S

@anon

"And what about when you come home and find it bonking your wife? (and she claims to think it was the real you)"

Well, isn't that what the sex offenders register is for? Or is that just for bikes?

Man who urinated on dying woman for YouTube glory jailed

David S
Flame

I have to say, I'm kind of with Steve here.

The miscreant's clearly a shit of the lowest order, and deserves the book throwing at him not least as an example of how not to treat someone who's clearly in distress in public, but locking him up for three years, at the taxpayer's expense, does seem disproportionate and inappropriate.

The sorry state of the victim certainly had something to do with the sentencing, and it's certainly regrettable. Just out of interest, though, how many of the outraged and disgusted commenters here contribute regularly to their society in a positive way? Hands up who's stood up to yobs on a bus, or called an ambulance for someone who's collapsed, or put in a few hours voluntary work collecting for a charity, or devoted a year of their life (say) working for a voluntary organisation helping people less fortunate than themselves?

Okay, here's an easier question: Hands up who's been secretly relieved when the yobs who were plaguing the nightbus finally got off, or when someone else told them to pipe down (and suffered the verbal abuse as a result)? Who's felt a little guilty relief when someone else stepped forward to help the collapsed pensioner, or walked by a charity collector as if they were wearing a personal cloaking device?

It's an old phrase, but it's a good one: If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. bitching about perceived lenient punishments for worthless scumbags isn't being part of the solution. Everyone has soemthing they could contribute to society, if they'd take the time away from their own lives to do it. All too few people actually do, though, and that's (one of the reasons) why society is up shit creek.

As for the subject of this report: He should be made to contribute to society in some way. caring for (cleaning up after) incontinent patients might be a good start. Failing that, municipal flowerbeds always need mulch...

Couldn't resist that. Sorry.

Hands on with MDX

David S
Thumb Up

Interesting, if a little abrupt...

Now this is an interesting subject, and I'm looking forward to learning a little more about a topic about which I've long suspected I ought to know more... One thing, though: the article seemed to end rather abruptly. I spent a good few seconds looking for a link to the next page! Any chance of an overview of what you're planning to cover on this subject? Maybe a "tune in tomorrow for..." line at the end would be nice, too...

Otherwise, very interesting. Thanks!

IBM patents making money from patents

David S
Coat

@Andy

But I will patent the idea of patenting the patents of patents, and sue YOU for bajillions plus one!

Next!

Jackie Chan records Olympic ditty

David S
Joke

@jai

By which you mean, of course, the merits of Police Story 2 over Police Story...

Jailed terror student 'hid' files in the wrong Windows folder

David S

Umm...

"he was telling everyone who would listen that he wanted to become a suicide bomber and blow up targets in Glasgow..."

Okay, I don't know a hell of a lot about terrorists (I mean, I lived in Northern Ireland during my formative years and all, but those guys were USA-funded, and hence "freedom fighters" natch) but I'm pretty sure that running around shouting about how you're going to blow everyone up, oh yeah, so you'd all better watch out is more a sign of a slightly odd wannabe than a serious-minded terrorist.

Real terrorists are far more likely to look, and act, a lot more like you or I do.

Nanotubes offer self-mending aircraft wings, golf clubs

David S
Coat

@Charles Manning

Worse. What if your club "heals itself" into a plane wing just before that tricky dog-leg on the fifth?

Public tracks down Gordon Bennett

David S

dog's...

I'd heard (I forget where... QI, possibly?) that "dog's bollocks" came from some product or another which came in two styles: Box Deluxe, and Box Standard. The deluxe version was spoonerised into Dox Beluxe, and hence into "dog's bollocks", and the standard became known as "bog standard"...

Now, if I could only back these assertions up with some form of evidence... Ah well, it serves as a useful anecdote on the mutability of language in any case...

Met's de Menezes photo 'manipulated', says prosecution

David S

@Herbys

I've seen christians being shot by christians for being the wrong type of christian. Well, not the actual shooting, but the aftermath. Used to happen quite a lot round our way. And beating / blowing up as well, come to that...

Just, you know, figured I'd mention it.

David S

@Herbys II

...and, come to think of it, it wasn't _that_ long ago that christians were burning people for being the wrong kind of floaty. Presumably a typo somewhere changed "turn the other cheek" to "burn..."

Scottish? You're drinking too much

David S

@Mr Cowan

You're on the right track, but you don't go quite far enough. Obviously limiting wine to half-bottles makes sense froma safety perspective, but then the determined unhealthy-levels-drinker might be tempted to buy more than one half-bot in order to pursue his self-destructive ways.

So clearly we need legislation that (a) limits wine sales to "safe" quantities (half-bottles) and (b) makes it illegal to buy more than, oh, two half-bottles in a single transaction.

It is, after all, vitally important that the State protects its charges (the people) from themselves. Who knows what they might get up to otherwise?

Pennsylvania woman in legal doo-doo for lav profanities

David S

@StillNoCouch

Bless...

David S
Black Helicopters

Worrying...

"Scranton's director of public safety Ray Hayes disagreed, saying that these things are not always 'as cut and dry as they originally appear. Freedom of speech is not an unfettered right'. "

Um... Okay, I guess I'm possibly a little behind the times here, but I was under the impression that, in the US of A, freedom of speech _was_ an unfettered right.

When did that get appealed, then? Didn't anyone complain? Or were the complainers arrested and duly punished?

Ubuntu goes 3-D

David S

Why can't we all just... get along?

Some people have to use Windows, either because their jobs require it, or because they don't feel confident enough to try something unfamiliar.

Some people prefer Macs. Their reasons are their own, but I can certainly understand their viewpoint.

Others choose to use GNU/Linux/BSD/Unix/Solaris/Whatever, and that's okay as well.

If someone's decided to give linux* a go, then it makes sense for them to cut their teeth on a distro which is simple to install and use, and for that I'd have no hesitation in recommending Ubuntu. It really does "just work" (by which I mean that it simply works, not that it barely works) and it's really very easy for novices to pick up and run with. It also acts as quite a good ambassador for the *nix fraternity, as the bells and whistles which it allows even a four-year-old box to show off can impress even the most ardent Win/Mac fan.

At the same time, there are other distros which are considerably "better" for other purposes; it's a big market, and every niche and corner seems to be covered pretty well. I expect that people who "learn" *nix through Ubuntu will be more confident trying other distros from the safety of their new comfort zone. My thirteen-year-old son, who only recently started using Ubuntu in anger, has since been experimenting with Solaris, Mandriva and... erm... some other whose name escapes me at present. (You'll have to forgive me; I fall into the first category I listed above; I'm forced to use Windows primarily, because of the nature of my work.) - Okay, he's unlikely to be using these other distros seriously (and he's mostly looking for other "cool" stuff) but the point is he's _looking_...

Hey, at the end of the day we're all geeks, aren't we? Shouldn't we be uniting against our common enemy or something?

Uh... Medja whores, eh? Bunch of cunts.

*'Cos GNU/Linux, while technically correct, is more of a handful to type. Sorry.

Unimpressed Sheilas mock boy racers' todgers

David S

And another thing...

In Northern Ireland (where I learned to drive) a new driver has a "restricted" status (an orange "R" on the reverse of the "L" plate) and is allowed to drive on their own, as one would expect, but must keep their speed below a maximum of 45 mph, obviously while obeying other speed limits.

An eminently sensible policy, I thought, and one which I feel should have been adopted throughout the UK. But then, what do I know?

David S
IT Angle

Speed (velocity) IS a factor.

Ultimately, it comes down to inertia and (critically) energy. Where an accident involves a moving vehicle, the damage caused in the accident (how "lethal" the accident is) depends mostly on the kinetic energy being transmitted, and while this rises in proportion to the mass of the moving vehicle, it rises in proportion to the _square_ of its velocity. That's GCSE physics, by the way. For those of you who weren't paying attention.

This ad isn't targeting white males; if it were, I'd feel targetted, and I certainly don't. It's targetting the idiots who try to compensate for their inferiority complexes by behaving in a reckless manner, and hence endangering other, innocent road users and bystanders. Driving under the influence of a severe psychological dysfunction, so to speak*. I'm not sure lining hotties up to mock their tackle would be considered an effective treatment for their underlying mental / emotional ills, but if it has a positive impact in the practical, real world then who are we to judge?

By the way, I'm a strong believer that a gentleman's sexual abilities are in inverse proportion to the size of the vehicle he drives. But then, I'm biased; I commute by push-bike.

*Driving while being a dickhead, as it ought to appear in the statute books...

Ian McKellen keen to reprise Gandalf

David S
IT Angle

Bilbo 4TW

I read the book of the movie last year, and it wasn't a bad adaptation. Quite a lot of words, and there was a hell of a lot of extra stuff that the writer made up that wasn't even in the movie, but not a bad effort. I notice that they've released the book of the prequel (The Hobbit Movie or something) before the film's even been released! I'm almost tempted to read it, but I wouldn't want to spoil the ending of the movie when it comes out.

Seriously, though... More important that whether Ian McKellen plays Gandalf: Who'se going to be the young Bilbo Baggins? Several people are almost certain to be vaguely interested...

Japanese diggers unearth dino skull

David S

Just what do they get up to???

Glancing at the headline, I read "Japanese doggers unearth dino skull" and did an actual double-take.

JonB: Your link is broken. Maybe you could substitute a link relevant to the headline I thought I read?

El Reg deploys (extra) comment icons

David S
Thumb Up

Indeed.

Yus.

TV for those who enjoy massacres

David S

Waddell media

I presume Waddell Media aren't related to Martin Waddell, the children's author? I imagine he'd be most upset about being associated with this kind of death-porn...

Qinetiq touts 'Transformer-like' mobility-scooter killbot

David S

Was it only me

...who read that report with an earworm going "Pump up the volume..."

RM readies Linux sub-laptop... for £169

David S

The OS

Presumably there's nothing stopping the purchaser wiping the machine clean and installing their own OS of choice, is there?

Looks quite tempting... Who'd have thought you'd get geeks drooling over cheap, low-tech kit, eh?

Maybe it's the swimsuit...

Do you want a high-score with that?

David S
Joke

Creepy, yes. But isn't that kind of the point?

I don't know, I'm not a meedja expert or anything, but I kind of had the impression that the king was _supposed_ to be a bit creepy. In a sneaking-up-behind-you-giving-you-burger-cravings kind of a way. Sort of like that stalker character that used to advertise Milk Tray before the injunctions hit...

Bugger King icon desperately needed. What's the BK angle etc.

Popping the question the 21st century way

David S

@Chris

You romantic git. If I weren't male, straight and married I'd consider taking you up... ;)

And there you go, people. Proof positive that it IS possible to polish a turd...

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