Posts by Big Pete

Big stink over Malawi farting ban

we have a saying down this way

It's better to fart and stink a little.

Than to bust your arse and be a cripple.

Street View catches Finn with his pants down

my guess is ...

he was just about to, or had just finished, cracking one off.

Online Kiwis maybe feeling Oz censor trickledown

just a routing issue

As the great Aussie firewall has yet to be implemented. the legislation hasn't even been presented to Parliament yet, let alone been passed into law. So it's really unlikely that there's anything being blocked for anyone.

Though the story does make a very valid point, what will happen regarding New Zealand Internet users whose ISPs route their traffic through Australian systems?.

Oz bank thinks it's 2016

I think you nailed it

the fact that the software thought it was 2016 instead of 2010 makes me think that it's interpreting 10 as hexadecimal instead of decimal.

Someone's gonna get nailed for this.

China moves closer to a smut-free internet

Great Minds Think Alike

I was just about to post the exact same comment.

Camel carcasses menace Outback water supplies

camel jerky?

this camel jerky you speak of. Is there much of a market for it?

Aussie Sex Party in evangelist head-to-head

where would we be

without Danny Nalliah and the Catch Fire Ministries, these guys give crazy people a bad name. they see evil everywhere.

I love this quote from their website.

"When she was a small girl, he told her that he had a surprise for her birthday. He blind folded her and told her to cut the cake. After cutting, her blind fold was removed and she was horrified to see that she had cut through the neck of a baby."

classic stuff indeed.

As there's no evil everywhere tag i'll have to make do with the ET tag.

Australian Pirate Party sets sail

@sandman

"How about a Green Pirate Sex Party - that would get my vote!"

Arrr matey, Is that a pork sword i see in your belt?.

Kraft cans Vegemite iSnack2.0

I notice that...

Some enterprising chap has registered cheesymite.com and cheesymite.com.au. You have to give the chap credit for forward thinking.

Oh, and i like my Vegemite straight, just a thin smear on hot buttered toast.

Japan gives the wheelchair a hi-tech overhaul

Useless

So how do you sit at a table to eat in it.

Cyclists offered cut-price shag at German brothel

@Do you get another discount

"on top if you come in a jiffy?"

They do have a 15 minute 30 € or 25 € if you come on a bike/bus (nudge nudge). That would suit me as i don't believe in wasting time.

Run the site through google translate and the second last extras option looks interesting, though best not mention the war.

Magno stimulation makes brain learn skills better - boffins

I knew there was a reason...

I kept those old Wharfdale E50 speakers, the magnets on the back of the subwoofers will make a good learning tool.

I'll be the guy with the speaker magnet taped to his head.

Glasgow unbans Life of Brian

Although i thoroughly enjoyed LoB...

It was The Holy Grail that ruined my enjoyment of any documentary about the middle ages, I keep expecting to see a cart loaded with body's, and a guy ringing a bell crying out, "bring out your dead".

Imagine! Government to legislate against badness

Don't do it

It'll all just end in tears

http://tinyurl.com/32jmev

Google nukes Norks

In Soviet Russia

The dogs eat you.

Oz man fined for drink-drive rumpy-pumpy

All i can say is...

"embarrassed and ashamed", never, The man's a bloody legend.

Vatican damns Angels and Demons as 'quite harmless'

Am i the only one...

"suggesting that the books and the films could provide "an incentive to review" how the church puts forward its views on burning issues."

Am i the only one, Who found having the catholic church and "burning issues" in the one sentence amusing.

It's the coat with the fagots in the pockets..

Swedish couple demand right to name baby 'Q'

This Åre area of which you speak

Does it have a local shop for the local people?

Great Aussie firewall claims first victim

@Colm Donoghue

"a user name where the last three letters are like the acronym Off And DIe and the first letter being F....

I guess the Aussie's missed that too"

No we're all down here snickering with our hands over our mouth, as the print media, both on and offline, refer to the user by his FOAD nick.

Oz bloke in underpants wrestles 'lunatic ninja' roo

Back in the good ol days

Annoying neighbourhood ninja roo's were dispatched under rule 303.

NZ unleashes sonic Manilow weapon

Forget Barry Manilow

Just play Jesus and Mary Chain at high volume

Oz runs Romero-themed zombie awareness week

And i thought this was about

Hacking into those electronic roadside signs, that all seem to still use the default password, so they read "Caution, Zombies next 10 km", Quite a popular past time around here.

Oh, and for the ultimate Oz Zombie flick, You can't beat Undead http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Undead_(film)

Reg Tombstone for dramatic effect.

German engineers punt 'open source' OLED-clad car

Your all missing the best use

A camera on one side being displayed on the other and you have a stealth car.

Fantasy author hired to pen Doom 4 plot

About time

Having a narrative is what put Half-Life streets ahead of Doom in playability.

US prof undermines foundations of Aussie firewall

mandatory internet filtering

"the incoming government did make mandatory internet filtering a plank of its election campaign"

From what i remember, The filtering policy the incoming government took to the election was optional with an opt out option, it only became mandatory after the election.

Forget Google rationing: Only lighting farts can save the planet

Well i'm off to invent

Underpants with a gas ignition and halon fire suppression system built in. Methane powered of course.

Indulge your fecal fantasies with a doll that craps

And if you buy two of them and a cup...

No! I just don't want to go there.

Tesla takes Top Gear test to task

For a usable electric car available now

http://www.bev.com.au/

I saw this on TV last night, a small company just getting on with it.

Anal whitening biz drops one million clams for Vibrators.com

Anal whitening cream?

I never realised such a substance existed.

Which leads me to ask: How white should my arse ring be?, i can't even see it, should i ask someone to check for me?.

Daughter cremates mom on improvised barbecue

@Carl Halvorson

Down here in Aust, We refer to Americans as septic tanks.

Alien crustaceans clash claws in UK waterways

@Luther Blissett

Them rabbits are mighty tasty with a nice red wine sauce.

Official: gadgets not responsible for Qantas jet plunge

The latest thinking is

that high powered transmissions from a nearby naval base may have been responsible.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/10/16/2392534.htm

Porn, abuse, depravity - and how they plan to stop it

@Lee T

Your not wrong Lee, As a fellow Aussie, I'll be VPNing out of the country if Rudd and his moron communications minister Conroy go through with this madness.

California train smash driver sent text seconds before disaster

The message was...

U R on same trk as me

pls stop.

Royal Navy won't fight pirates 'in case they claim asylum'

I say we...

Hang em from the yard arm, What's that?, Ships no longer have yard arms. Bugger!

It's Rum, Sodomy and the Lash for you laddie.

Oz woman held hostage by pugnacious porker

For those wanting the story straight from the porkers mouth

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/09/24/2372583.htm

Watch the videos, They're a hoot.

Flame icon to roast the pork.

Philips Cineos 42PFL9603D Ambilight LCD TV

@Joerg

Although i can't comment on the 42PFL9603D i have had the 42PF9831/69 model for a few years and find the Ambilight feature quite good and easy on the eyes.

Unless you've tried the Ambilight feature for a while i can't see how you can comment.

NZ judge saves girl from bloody silly name

Here in the great southern land

We had a member of parliament with the name Richard Face, see link: http://tinyurl.com/6qke8w

I also knew a guy named Richard Head, So you have to ask, what were their parents thinking.

I bet neither used the shortened, Dick, version of their first name.

I bet school was hell.

Paris, because that's a stupid name as well.

Street View spycar prowls Inverness

@tnetech

"Here in Australia, where I live anyway you can't just go around taking photo's and video and posting on the net. In fact, the town I live in you need to get a licence to take pictures in certain parks, for example for a wedding!"

Fuck me, Where the hell do you live?, Long Bay?

BT starts threatening music downloaders with internet cut-off

Dear BT

Thank you for the warning letter re: fle sharing, I thought i'd reply to inform you that you'll have no more problems regarding my file sharing, as i've signed up for a VPN tail end in a foreign country.

Best regards

Long John Pete.

Police detain Tariq Aziz's cigar case

Elgin Marbles

"The Met works very closely with a number of countries, including Iraq, to recover items that are considered culturally significant."

No doubt the Elgin Marbles will be seized and returned to Greece any day now.

US woman sues over exploding thong

As an Aussie

I can't see how you could wear thongs like those on your feet, you'd trip over.

Better to go with a pair of these http://www.souvenirsaustralia.com/category102_1.htm

it's the one with the rubber footwear in the pocket.

Nvidia paid the right amount for 3dfx, court affirms

I still have...

A Pentium 166 with a VooDoo 1 addon card, sitting in the corner of my office, It still ran fine when last fired up.

Those were the days, Tomb Raider running smooth as, lightning fast Quake.

Ahhh the good old days.

WiMAX has 'failed miserably'

You might like to read

This http://forums.whirlpool.net.au/forum-replies.cfm?t=943390 from an ISP that knows what it's doing.

Paris, because she knows what she's doing.

Brainchipped flesh-cloak cyborg bug-bug passes milestone

Android camel of death

If you think android moths are scary, check this out.

http://gizmodo.com/368651/new-video-of-bigdog-quadruped-robot-is-so-stunning-its-spooky

Online banking payment system aims to reduce fraud

@Barrie Shepherd

I agree Barrie, as a fellow Aussie, i have to say, I've never heard of POL-i either.

@RW

I think that ship was British.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/2115229.stm

Oz admits $85m p0rn filtering FAIL

Buying votes

This has very little to do with protecting children, and everything to do with locking in the vote of the family first party in the upper house, so the new Labor Govt can get their legislation passed.

On the low uptake of the previous govt's filter, most of us are just not interested, or have made other arrangements.

Forth Bridge painters to down brushes in 2012

So how does that work

It takes 100 years to paint, but the paint only lasts for 40 years?.

Paris, because she's had a brush with the law.

US boffins create darkest material ever

Or as Eric Olthwaite would say...

Black Pudding is very black today mother.

Icon was chosen because... well you know

Japanese whalers lash protesters to mast

I say we

Give those scurvy dogs a broadside with our guns captain, That'll teach em for strapping our men to the mast.