* Posts by Bob

40 publicly visible posts • joined 28 Dec 2007

BOFH: Lock and reload


Worth the way

laughed my ass off :P

BOFH: Server room secret panels


Not bad i suppose...

...could have sworn i'd seen a roll of carpet and a bad of lime in the corner though.

Obama bloats Vista by 11MB


"Update Type: Important"?

...my arse!

Stray left foot washes up on Vancouver beach


It's a twisted fact but...

...where people have attempted or even succeeded in committing suicide by leaping from bridges, cliffs etc it has been documented that from above a certain heights feet have a habit of snapping off on hitting the water.

Cambridge woman in £90m 'leccy bill shocker


@ Richard Scratcher

[quote]That's enough power to run a Death Star for just over 12 years[/quote]

Is that just general running costs or does that include the odd decimated planet?

Chinese 419er punts a whopping $8



The way the economy is going in Yank Land that'll seem enticing in a few weeks - just think, it'll buy someone a whole gallon of gas :P

Heathrow T5 security tackles Transformers t-shirt threat



I mean i could understand if it were Megatron, at least he was evil.

BOFH: The Batcave

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The funniest line...

. . . One large building fire later . . .

absolutely priceless, nearly choked on my food.

BOFH: Shiny new computer room

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The classic "we have a problem which means you have a problem...fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it" attitude.

Priceless episode :D

The battle of Lesbos: Exclusive combat pic

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Someone has...

...far too much time on their hands. I can't believe i interupted my friday afternoon nap for this!

Lonely Paris Hilton seeks new best friend

Paris Hilton

Oh god how i laughed

and now i can't stop, i just keep bursting into sporadic laughter as i imagine the waste's of a good spinal cord that will apply for this show.

She wants a friend who won't betray her and plans to win one in a competition where they'll probably be encouraged to bitch and back stab to win...no worries there then :|

MPs get £2k home cinema on taxpayers


@ the cowardly anonymous b@stard!

[quote]Perhaps it's hard for the little people to accept, but those of us who pull down a decent wage want MPs who are similarly able, and expect to pay accordingly. [/quote]

You're an MP aren't you? you're a c*nt too :)

[quote]We expect to provide MPs with a nice, well furnished flat in London (unless they represent a consituency in or near there). Otherwise Parliament would be staffed only by the rich, the corrupt, and the obsessed. Not good.[/quote]

how is that different from what we have now? sod that, this country needs a big sign reading "out of order".

John Denver classic provokes Thai karaoke gun massacre


@ Mike Timbers

So everyone who is a jackass deserves to die?

If only we could get that passed as law bullets would cost more per pound than gold! Perhaps it's time to buy shares in some munitions factories... *ponders*

NZ charidee cybersquatter fears burning in Hell


I think he'll be alright...

...i mean after all, the bible is only fictional...


BOFH: Insecurity complex

Paris Hilton

@ Mark

Only 3k a week, i have a job lined up where i get 5k a week, all my expenses paid for and a fresh young virgin every evening...hopefully female.

PH because she's a virgin...she's just not very good at it.

US man saved by bulletproof DVD


@ Milan

50 cent?

Shot 9 times and he still doesn't take the hint :|

Forth Bridge painters to down brushes in 2012


@ Flatspot

The 2.4million hours quoted in the post would have already cost somewhere in the region of £43m for labour alone and that was just for a period of 6 years. Another 34 on top of that plus inflation....well you do the math.

I happen to know that a skilled tradesman (which im guessing they would be to work over a bridge...could you see a chav in his burberry hat hanging off the forth? you might want to but that's not the point) are charged at around £18 per hour...about 1/3 of which they actually get paid (if they're lucky).

So financially it does make sense, perhaps the saving can help pay for Northern Rock...you know until it folds and we have to bail it out with our taxes.

Hamster-in-rain emergency prompts 999 call

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I know Kevin O'neill, he's a Karate intrustor and 4th Dan. Perhaps the people who make the top 10 can be bound and used as punch bags at his club? A public service if you will...

BOFH: Carbon neutrality


Ever notice...

that when spokem Kick and Kcik sound the same? this reverse nastiness might have something to it ;)

Parent power pulls Woolworth's 'Lolita' kiddies' bed



My favourite part is the reference to encouraging paedophiles.

"Oh, that kids in a slumberland bed, better leave them alone."

Veggies a 'perversion of nature': Official


@ By Frank Bough

You can but only if you don't enoy it :P

Germans launch flights for nudists


Have you not seen Man on Fire?

"We challenge even the most ingenious member of al-Qaeda to conceal a box-cutter and binary liquid explosives when he's got nothing more than an in-flight safety leaflet to cover his modesty."

Denzel: That's a bomb in your ass!

Spain bows before la blogosfera



There's nothing like a Siesta after a Cocaine Salsa Burito

ABC fined $1.43m for NYPD Blue a*se flash


Stands out above everything else that's wrong with this.

"Commissioner Deborah Taylor Tate said of the judgement: "Our action today should serve as a reminder to all broadcasters that Congress and American families continue to be concerned about protecting children from harmful material and that the FCC will enforce the laws of the land vigilantly."

Big Brother is watching YOU

Vote now for your top Bond movie title


Has to be Licence to Kill

It just sounds cool and sums up one of the major reasons men want to be Bond. We might all at some point have a nice car or a fast ride...of a different kind but the possibility of killing without fear of reprisal...


Man stumps record £375k for number plate


Am i the only one...

who read this:

"The cash from the sale will be directed into a safe-driving scheme for young motorists."

and translated it as "more traffic cameras"?

DC Comics to kill off Batman?



...but Adam West's is still alive which renders all of this unimportant

Couple sue over Shanghai metro snog vid


We're safe in the UK...

our government would never put anything inappropriate posted on the net...they can't hang onto it long enough <_<

Paul Burrell pulls website amid 'hate mail' blitz


@ AC

Anonymous Coward said "I mean, who publishes their former employer's private mail for profit?"

I agree, i publish my current employer's private mail for the sheer amusement :P

Turkey blocks YouTube, part II



I really should find it amusing when people completely miss the irony in a statement and get all hot and bothered defending their cause of the minute but its just quite sad in truth.

Lightsaber voted top movie weapon

Paris Hilton

My favourite weapon...

....will be whichever one is used on Paris Hilton. :)

BOFH: Defusing the enthusiast

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Ah, all for the biscuits.

They can perk up even the dullest of days and are well worth killing for.

Banksy artwork tops £200k on eBay

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I learned when studying art history that art is apparently supposed to be controversial, if we didn’t have people pushing the norms of taste and decency then we’d still be painting stick figures on cave walls. While Banksy might not be the most original he seems to have some modicum of artistic talent which is more than can see said for some (google the ‘Turner Prize’ if you want to see some genuine wastes of skin).

Love him or hate him he has people talking about him and his work (and through it the works of others). Personally I wouldn’t notice if he disappeared off the face of the earth tomorrow and his art could go with him for all I care. Though full credit to the guy who’s £200k richer for doing bugger all – Carpe Diem…Caveat Emptor and all that.

Junkie sues pusher over heart attack


@ Alan Gregson

As someone else pointed out above she says she got clean but then just before her 20th birthday she met him again and voluntarily took meth again.

Yes she was an addict, yes she always will be and that makes her do silly things but as has been said, this sets a dangerous precedent. What if in a year from now she decides to spend some of this potential windfall on more - will she then sue this next guy?

While every dealer off the streets is a good thing, this is going to cause problems for people in other ways.


It sets a precedent alright...

How big a reach is it from here to suing the brewery/bartenders for health problems related to over indulging in the old amber nectar? The dealer should have been arrested as a matter of course as it was, it shouldn't have to come to this.

I mean the next step is claims direct adverts announcing, "Have you got a habit that wasn't your fault?"

Arrest him, beat him till he gives the name of his supplier, lock him up and go after the next; wash, rinse, repeat. Then give her a slap for wasting the courts time with her petty greedy claims. If she doesn't expect much then surely she could have just reported him to police and help with the prosecution because it would be the right thing to do...damn greedy cow.

Dearly departed to heat Manchester crematorium

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But where will it end?

Next we'll be burning Chav's in full burberry to produce more heat....

...carry on!

Taser unleashes leopardskin C2 and MP3 holster


Re: Vaudeville lives

There's a 1 in 3 chance they pick the "right one", perhaps the elecrtic jolt to the inner ear will jump start a few brains.

School-dodging Mexican lad glues self to bed



I've heard of suffering from a sticky mattress...

Antarctic Xmas punch-up airlift cost £45k


Re: @Thad

...he must be right, got a lift home in a police car once - never even asked for a penny.

Got frosty when i offered them a tip though <_<

BOFH: Beancounter bashing

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Re: You Would Think...

good quality tippex can make even the best of us forgetful...