Posts by Tris Orendorff

BOFH: Pain fear games

“That’s just the concussion talking!”

Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! A classic line.

Sun: 'We may have violated bribery laws'

Re: "Could this be the real reason..."

"IBM walked away from buying Sun?"

No! This is not a serious matter. The punishment is a few shekels, a slap on the wrist and a warning not to do it again.

Apple fined $19m in 'Predictive Snooping' case

Why?

Why is apple being sued? They don't use any custom chips, do they? Are they being sued only because they use someone's infringing chip?

Ballmer disses Oracle's decision to buy Sun

"You'll see us innovating in search,"

Only if "innovating" means: everything past the third result found isn't totally irrelevant to your search terms.

French 3M workers barricade boss in office

Now,,,

...it sure sux to be the boss.

Symbian Foundation in anti-Android recruit drive

Laptots¿

What is a laptot in the context of this article¿

419ers take Canadian for $150,000

Season Tickets

Well, at least he didn't lose his season tickets. Go Leafs go.

MS issues brown alert over unpatched IE 7 flaw

"Brown Alert" Hoo! Hoo!

You Brits come up with the funniest titles. If tried to emulate your style in Canada I would be defenestrated from the highest igloo in the land.

Keep up the good work.

Ubuntu 8.10 - All Hail new Network Manager

@Spoonguard

"A dark theme is not dark...

...if it is mostly white! What is this bullshit"

Hey! Everybody knows, "In 2008, white is the new dark."

Michael Dell sells you some s**t you don't need

@ Eric Dennis

The "I'm stolen" code is supposed to be in the laptop's BIOS, can't be easily erased and may still work if the HDD has been erased. If, however, Dell took shortcuts then all bets are off.

Ransomware author tracked down, but not nicked

Too Bad...

It's a shame that the old Soviet republic is gone. He or she could have just disappeared and any attempts to find out what happened to him or her would be stonewalled by the authorities.

Actors paid to queue for Poland's iPhone launch

Did it Work?

So...Did any Poles get interested and join the lines or was it only actors in the line-up on opening day?

MetaRAM now pumping 288GB of memory into Intel boxes

@Martin Lyne, @Sampler

You forgot one:

Step 5. Let all Malware run silently with admin privs from now on.

Microsoft would have done better by imitating BSD for their security model. Their NIH is coming back to bite them.

Baby held in Indian jail alongside hacking suspect mum

WTITA?

WTITA: Where's The IT Angle. A common complaint heard around here.

Alleged Kiwi botnet mastermind in court

FBI Pun?

"...as part of a larger FBI-led operation aimed at cracking down on the trade in compromised PCs, codenamed Operation Bot Roast."

This is the first time I have seen the FBI use a pun for an op. name. They have no sense of humour.

BOFH: Insecurity complex

@Ours is Head of Group Development...

If you have a "Jim" at work the thing to do is to get him to oversell himself and not necessarily on something for work. The Jim I knew used to think he was God's gift to pitching [baseball] and amazed us with tales of high-school championships, grapefruit leagues and AAA farm teams. No one called BS on him; instead we let him spin his stories.

On the day of the company picnic and baseball game he threw like a girl and could barely get the ball over home plate. We made sure he knew we were onto his BS tales and even his boss and someone from HR called him on the carpet about his resume & job skills.

He was gone by the end of the week.

'Suspicious comment' provokes LAX terminal evacuation

I'm Surprised

I'm surprised that this doesn't happen more in the LA airport with all those TV and movie execs constantly jabbering about ratings, starlets, hits and BOMBs.

Boy burned in PSP trouser blaze

Serious Burns.

How can you people be so insensitive? The boy, Harold Clay, was burned rather badly. In fact, it will be cheaper for lawyers to change his name to Carol Clay than it will for doctors to repair his burned bits.

Apple cripples Sun's open source jewel

@Bill Coleman

"I can't figure out Apple these days in relation to it's DRM policies. They appear to be opposed to DRM on the surface of things. That nice open letter from Steve last year about how he hates DRM and it's the labels fault...."

Mr. Jobs thought that Apple could increase revenue with an anti-DRM stance but most of the suppliers thought differently.

Revealed: USB 3.0 jacks and sockets

Older USB Intro Dates

"Next we will all wait for USB version 4. Due out in a year or two if the pattern holds."

What pattern? USB 1.1 came out in 1998 and USB 2.0 arrived in 2000.

Nigerian firm demands $20m from OLPC

MONEY FOR YOU

DEAR OLPC (SIR),

PLEASE REMEMBER THAT REAL NIGERIAN KEYBOARDS DO NOT HAVE LOWER-CASE MODALITIES.

IF YOU DO DECIDE TO SETTLE THE LAWSUIT WITH A PAYMENT TO LANCOR, DON'T SEND IT BY WESTERN UNION. ALSO, IF YOU RECEIVE A PAYMENT FROM LANCOR, WAIT AT LEAST 60 DAYS FOR THE CHEQUE TO CLEAR.

YOURS IN GOD,

MARIAM ABACHA

Skipton in lost laptop security woes

Skipton...

@Lou Gosselin:

"From a technical point of view what exactly is the solution, then?" The solution is to create a matching database with false names, addresses and other personal information. It can be used by anyone, anywhere without fear of losing a week of paid holidays.