Posts by The_Police!

Tesco to flog secondhand games

Don't forget

that quite a lot of retailers are starting to move into the second hand games market. Even Argos is at it!

Snails on crystal meth: The facts

Trip!

Trip down to the street corner.

"Scuse me mate, need more of those pills you sold me last time"

Drug Dealer: "Whoa man, you are getting through those like there is no tomorrow"

"Nah, mate, not for me. It is for my snails"

DD: "Snails hey?"

"Yup"

DD: "I think you need to get into rehab! Seriously!"

Eurovision website goes titsup, upsets handful of fans

12 people

seriously?

Cops cuff coke-smuggling lingerie model

Oh yeah!

I for one welcome her as my overlord!

Google's encrypted search casts shadow on web analytics

Can I just say...

... Google and Privacy? Bwahahahahaahahaa

Phoenix Mars Lander officially dead

RIP

Phoenix Mars Lander.

Job well done! Hopefully one day someone will get over there and wake you up!

Massachusetts man in vacuum marinade shocker

Pics

or it never happened!

Coalition agreement website exposes database password

Combine?

Hot damn! Where is Gordon Freeman?

Mines the one with the prod.

Megan Fox exits Transformers 3

Thank you Lester

for the pic! :)

Apple opens international iPad store ahead of rollout

iDork!

ha ha!

UK to get Diet Facebook

Three

seem to have started reducing their data allowances. Sign that they can not cope with the amount of data going through their network?

Paris because she offer unlimited data!

Google Street View whacked by German prosecutors, Czech data watchdog

Wait! Wait!

Google and Privacy? AHAHAHAHAHahaahahaa

Atlantis 'nauts wrap boltastic first spacewalk

Erm

I think we should be discussing washers as well!

Foreign IT pros in USA get paid more than Americans - study

Guess,

it is time to emigrate to India, find a job and then be contracted out back to Blighty.

L'Orange and T'Mobile: Together at last

Everything, Everywhere

Seriously?

Hey Mate, what network are you on?

Everything, Everywhere!

erm ok! *runs*

Alleged Jobsian email promises iPad printing

Jobs

reading El Reg?

I wonder if he has you guys blocked by his iFirewall!

iFirewall! Now is there an app for that?

Green Berets to get Judge Dredd computer smart-rifle

Run!

What happens when there is a misfire or the round gets stuck? RUN!!!!!!!!!! Oh and don't forget to drop the weapon while you are at it.

Mines the one with 'Smarmy Bastard' on the back.

'Minimalist, whimsical' Google search given Bing-like overhaul

Click

'Show Options' that appears after you perform a search.

It is on the same toolbar where it calculates how long a search took and how many results it found.

IT because I don't want to give them any more publicity.

Just getting my coat.

Feel.me up for grabs in dot-me domain auction

erm, how about

kick.me, willitfit.me, slidesup.me?

Apple-obsessed geeks launch fanboi dating site

How soon

before the trolls appear?

O2 muscles in with Iron Man-themed phone

Does anyone

actually buy mobile phones just because they have a movie theme??

Blokes spend 11 months in shed

Queue

my shed or yours for some coffee *wink wink*?

Ta, mines the one with shed-less.

Lost iPhone 4G vendor loaner outed

Have one on me!

*For the record, if Hogan or any of his friends called The Register, we were too drunk to remember.*

A free round at the for El Reg!

Steve Jobs issues open letter on Flash

Hold Smokes!

His Holy Steve Jobness has spoken!

Mine's the one with the handles on the side to help with easy removal from the room!

Gene Hunt tops 'TV stars for PM' poll

Queue

Gene Hunt jokes!

*Mines the one with Genie on the back*

Megan Fox not world's sexiest woman: Official

I for one

welcome Megan Fox as my overlord!

Telefonica prices up HP smartbook

but

can it run crysis?

Terror in the Outback: Attack of the Giant Space Balloon

Queue

gasbag jokes!

Man's MySpace page torpedoes personal injury suit

Indeed

*That included riding his bicycle, painting, and any vigorous activity*

Does that include panting and moaning whilst performing a vigorous activity?

Mines the one with 'crazy' on the side.

No penis pumping for Papuan plod

My

what a big truncheon you have officer! Is that yoru third hand? Now please don't give me a ticket!

Microsoft's FUD goes mobile

Sweet!

Getting paid for something you did not put any effort in!

Is there an app for that?

Jesus descends to Google Earth

Just me

I think I was the only one who imagined a iPhone coming down from the heavens on a beam of sunlight.

Infamous Storm botnet rises from the grave

Does

anyone actually but stuff from these links? If they do, their computer should be taken from them and crushed!

Microsoft slings out Windows Home Server beta

Vail = Fail

Great name Microsoft! How soon before it fails?

Users' passwords exposed by Splunk

Anyone

for some free splunk?

Just getting my coat!

Gizmodo faces visit from cops over 'found' iPhone

Outside?

*What we want to know is if Gizmodo will be invited to the launch of the handset in June, or if the blog will joining El Reg with the rest of the Apple-offending personae non grata outside. *

How about iPhone4Gdestruction.com? Sock it to them!

Jobsian drones shackle gamer with 'lifetime' iPad ban

Erm,

a really simple solution!

Pay by cash! Oh wait!

Apple in shock public attack on Adobe

Harass Adobe

about Flash on the iPhone? Now there is an app for that!

Yes, yes I am gettin my coat.

Buzz goes orienteering on Google Maps

Mr Iin

Facebook eating all your content is the least of your worries. You might want to keep an eye on Google.

Phones 4U not responsible for iPhone sex appeal survey

Oh my GOD!

She's back!

Mines the one with the iPhone bluge in the pocket.

Apple leaves profits on table for 'huge' iPad future

Can't live with out an iPad you say?

Well, I have never used one but mines the coat with the massive keyboard hanging out.

Google's Schmidt pitches Chrome OS netbooks

Fresh?

There is an app for that!

New road made from pigsh*t in Missouri

Seriously,

is there an app for that?

Mines the one with the holes.

IBM predicts reoffending rates for prisoners

Re-offending you say?

Well, there is an app for that!

Yes, yes, I know! Just getting my coat.

Wii Fit fall woman turns into nympho

Superstud?

There is an app for that!

Network Solutions mops up after mass WordPress breach

Hang on

Is it just me who found this erroneous sentence (last sentence of the article)?

"When you leave the to the door in the lock, does it help to lock the door?"

All your "When you leave the to the door" belong to us!

Cocaine-hunting robot chopper in 60kg bust seizure

I for one

welcome our flying robot overlords!

Java bug exposes users to serious code-execution risk

Java?

I have not used Java for ages and ages now. I see not point in downloading it and is a pain when all the updates come out for it.

Murdoch hacks grumble over outsourced IT failures

ahahahahahahaha

AHAHAHAHAHAH. Serves News Internation Right. We can get decent IT bods in this country to run systems but I guess Outsourcing is the buzz word. Hence I can not get a IT job.

That is all!

iPhone 4.0: iAds, multitasking, and 98 tweaks

Arghhhh!

iAm going to iHate the iAds!

Just getting my coat