Posts by MnM

Shock jock blames Britain for hack attack

Al-Aqsa Light Brigade

Yep, it was us

MnM

Supreme Leader

US women protest for the right to bare

@No, I will not fix your computer

"Firstly, womens breasts are sexual objects, pretty much most of their time..."

You do talk a lot of ugly bollocks. We (humans) have got culture now, and have done for, 40,000-odd years. So evolutionary origins, whatever they may be, are far from the be all and end all. Then there's your fixation with breasts. What about shiny hair? Good legs? Would you like to keep them special (i.e. covered up) as well? Or perhaps you're not a leg man (most adolescents aren't). And to give it due focus, what is with your premise that people should be modest? I really think you'd be happer as an aphid. So much more to that piece but you couldn't see beyond the norks.

Though I tread on extremely thin ice here, that the Moderatrix hasn't dignified your tripe with a correction is, I believe, a reflection of how beneath contempt it was.

I wanted to get on with the real work of considering how ID could survive the prawn/avocado conundrum but sadly no.

Beer drinking model to get caned in Malaysia

@AC Is that not entrapement (sic)?

No it's not.

You can't spell it and you don't know what it means, but that doesn't stop you being a patronising little cock. Go away.

Still here? Consider that alcohol and cigarettes are on sale in shops in the UK, and that minors are allowed in these shops, but aren't allowed to buy them. Have Amnesty cottoned on to this scandal? No? You should probably let them know.

Go away.

Icon abuse

An issue over which we actually do have a semblance of control. Putting up a fail sign on matters of opinion is annoying. Gives the impression that a hard and fast fuck up is about to be debunked, and disappoints.

Good use of fail: 'Would somebody enlighten this ignorant twat about the Taliban and why we are there.'

ODFO: 'I hand a FAIL tag out to everyone who reduces these issues to acinine comments, comedy or self-centered utilitarian philosophy.'

having trouble visualising

As the Vulture pilot and cabin staff are grounded (rubber band shortage, apparently), perhaps they'd get back to their bread and butter news illustration duties. 'How many was that, stewardess?' 'I believe that was 3 so far, Captain'. Teambuilding.

Trade body loses laptop full of driving conviction data

Not really being taken too seriously is it

Perhaps that's because the ICO have clocked that to enforce data security without stopping the flow of information, there has to be a half-decent computer system in place. Which means the underlying business has to be well understood. Which means it has to be understandable, i.e. organised. For the public sector, that bar is too high. The idea of actually enforcing the rules clearly doesn't carry much weight, leaving the ICO to hand out meagre, ineffective penalties.

In other words, I can see the ICO being told not to come down too hard on gov, as there's no hope of them fixing anything quickly anyway. The MVRA are a trade body, so not public sector, but by a very broad definition, trade bodies are still part of the machinery of government. Is this why they got off so lightly?

All complete conjecture, but the story smells. Even though the ICO have a rep for letting everyone off lightly, this seems like a cast-iron case for setting an example, and they let it slide.

Researchers forge secure kernel from maths proofs

@The Indomitable Gall

'When I explain how it works, I sometimes find they're so trapped in the illusion that they refuse to accept the answer.'

I've had the exact same odd experience. Otherwise genuinely intelligent people will say

things like 'this shows that maths is flawed'. I'm sure they're secret celestine prophecy readers, and they are everywhere.

@vincent himpe

That tool of theirs would laugh in the face of your puny bar-man problem with its misdirection subroutine. You don't impress me (but fwiw it's a point well made).

For me, it's only secure if Paris says so.

Mandy not swayed by ents mogul on illegal file sharing

Thinking about children

Interested in how Mandy will deal with this. NuLab's frontline has been filled out, not with visionaries and leaders, but with a shockingly average bunch of tards. Ministards, if you will. Darling will have rings run round him by the city. Jacqui, Blears and Harman - intellectual lightweights, and they haven't cut it. Something different can be expected from Mandelson.

But re-reading, where does responsibility lie? According to the article, Mandelson at the Department for Business Innovation and Skills has taken over responsibility for digital policy. Maenwhile, Treasury minister Stephen Timms took charge of the government’s Digital Britain plans earlier this month, and seems to have a policy in action left for him by the previous guy. If that's the case, doesn't sound as though either of them is that bothered.

Morrissey tells netdepressives to boycott his re-releases

floob

Artists being freetards themselves? It cannot be. George Michael went there - he tried to extricate himself from his contract (with Sony??) quite some time ago, talking up his artistic freedom, but lost his case in the High Court. IIRC, he'd renegotiated his contract several times over several years, then wanted out, and the judge had none of it.

Bug exposes eight years of Linux kernel

way to cuss RD!

'this is a little more like you pointing at the moon and asserting that its the sun'

reign it in mate, there's kids on here

Lad passes gruelling 'getting on bus' test

A***

Good, practical qualification, that. He'd walk into a texting career (no offence, Bobby).

This is nothing new. When I did GCSEs nearly twenty years ago, a science paper (printed on recycled paper) had a page with five clear photos of very different animals on it, each marked with a letter. The page behind it was blank. One of the questions, all multiple choice, was 'which one is the bird?' How the pass rate can have gone up since then, I do not know.

Nuke-nobbler raygun 747 scores 'surrogate' test success

But can it power an iPhone?

Fanbois, that was a joke.

British boffin named first ever 'doctor of texting'

@Tony

I cannot let the injustice continue. While acknowledging Leewok's fine work, what of Jon 44's closely worded, and more to the point, earlier effort?

Putting that right has been exactly 17.5 times more valuable than Dr Tagg's thesis.

El Reg space paper plane christened Vulture 1

Banging in the stratosphere

+1 for gaffer tape, though I'd also like to advocate the use of explosives, weight-permitting. These guarantee a clean and complete, though potentially overzealous, separation. Some of the earlier suggestions may not be explosive enough, leaving Vulture 1 dangling like Paris' new best friend. Adding explosives would remedy this.

Could car seatbelt pretensioners be remodelled into some kind of explosive bolt?

BT's giant new faster broadband boxes blocked

Put the cabinets in Starbucks

If you don't have a starbucks near you, it's the life you chose

Exotic star's 'violent ejections' during companion's visits

Confused

I was truly expecting a smut story about Duncan James.

High Court shields database state from blame

@Fuckface

'Data mistakes, imprecision, etc are for the individual to correct. The government, its agencies, etc have no duty of care. They just take the money and the people pay the price.'

http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2007/nov/05/scamsandfraud.property. Here's an excerpt:

'Over the past two years, the department has paid out £12m in compensation to cover losses caused by criminal gangs through fraud and forgery, with one case alone resulting in an £8m payout.'

And you may also like http://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk/wakefield-news/Wakefield-pensioner39s-land-grab-fraud.5381999.jp. It's about a sad, petty man who knows the very best way to not get what he wants, and revel in it.

Thanks for your valuable input, you twit.

@Alexander Hanff

I'm not sure a DPA claim would be straightforward. Even if the investor who pulled out put his reasons in writing at the time, and blamed the credit check results, and was able to put that entirely down to the bogus CCJ, it could be deemed a cover story. So more than likely, the investor would have to agree to get involved in the case, turning up in court if necessary. Even then, I'm not sure whether the details seen by third parties show individual CCJs, so it may be impossible to make a strong enough case that the CCJ bore significant responsibity for the pullout. Defending, you could make out that there were any number of reasons why the money wasn't forthcoming.

@ general commentards: Leaving the rights and wrongs aside, as he was sailing close to the wind already, why didn't he check his credit records before asking for cash? If there are any genuine errors, there are procedures to correct them, in most cases. E.g. on personal credit records, you can disassociate yourself from former flatmates (I've done it and it works), or put items on the record in dispute (never tried). Credit records apply to people who are asking for money, they have no god-given right to it, so a database is a good idea. It's not stop and search, the DNA database or DPI. I'm not defending the court decision, but a little perspective please: More faith in Belgians, Jimmy Floyd? Really?? Belgians have to pretend Stella Artois is French to make our chavs drink it.

@ Daggers Edge AC: useless. I brought up the Land Registry as an example of an institution which, unlike Experian (and its nebulous data sources), does guarantee its data. So what if it's a little rough around the edges? The principle is plainly there, and it didn't suit your whingeing to see it.

Not the case with the Land Registry

IANAL so taking a large liberty with the geek, but I *think* that the Land Registry is responsible for the title data it holds. I've a very hazy recollection of a case where a fraudster managed to get on official record that he owned a property, 'sold' it to someone else and ran off with the cash, for the buyer to find out he didn't actually have title. I believe the buyer then went to court and successfully held the Land Registry to account. Does this ring any bells with anyone more clued up? And anyone know what places this obligation on the Land Registry?

Adobe tries to rub out LibDem airbrush claims

@Chris C

You're not the only one. Wrapping the populace in cotton wool will not reverse any airbrush-induced cultural damage. (Swinson: "It's part of our culture now but it's a very damaging culture. It's not even as though these airbrushed images are attainable – it's not how they look.")

Lib dems - why? Don't you start banning everything too.

Home Office mum over mad March at the CRB

a little information is a dangerous thing

whoever gave the game away that March was dreadful, by emphasising the success of the previous 11 months, must be feeling the heat. Homer Simpson-like in his or her failure. Unless this was secreted into the press release, in which case kudos for the leak, kudos for making whoever made the statement look completely daft, and hope tracks have been well covered.

But I don't think it was a leak, I think this shows the Home Office way of doing things fleetingly biting itself on the arse.

Apple accused of lowering cone of silence over iPod flame out

Calm down calm down

A 'life sentence'?! Got to hand it to the scallies, they do their best not to be taken seriously even when it sounds like they've got a case.

@ Futter Buck, 'every device may develop defects'. Something tells me you're not from Liverpool!

Oxfordshire reveals ANPR traffic camera sites

if they don't find a match, they what?

they throw it away? So presumably they're only checking for matches against numberplates recorded by their own ringfenced system, to work out journey times, and not against DVLA records. For the moment.

For a minute there I thought they were comparing against DVLA records, so failure to match would indicate fake plates. Throwing that away would be stupid irrespective of the politics.

Vote now to name El Reg space plane

Get rigging

It can't be El Shag. I self-censored my own suggestion, Twat, on the ground that it was puerile, and for what?

Surely this small bug in the voting software will soon be rectified and the Vulture will fly.

Exposed activist accuses Tiscali of putting life in peril

bad cover

surely, for people in her position, you'd have an identity linked to your home address for sundry services over which you can't expect to have a great amount of control - reducing the downside of any mistakes like this. Maybe it wasn't the same when BT ruled the roost and any indiscretions could be resolved but today, her approach makes no sense to me.

Cameron condemns Tweeters as tw*ts

@Tim

Thanks for summarising! So it was a load of drivel. I couldn't bear to read on.

Aussie woman's toilet trauma prompts lav-overhaul call

IFAICGU? (@ Charles)

I'm sorry but I refuse to google this.

Oh alright then... hum dee hum... here we go: I've fallen and I can't get up.

Why? How does this help? Where will it end?

Too-tall terror snapper stopped by cops again

The 15th

1) Will Joanna Lumley be there? Should be a baton free zone if you need a break

2) Can I buy El Reg 'Anonymous Coward' t-shirts? Perhaps with a crossed out 'Meh' on the back?

@I didn't do IT: Good idea to bring disposable cameras, though I'll also bring my mobile along so I can MMS a few pics out sharpish.

I'm hoping for a protest, not agro, but people seem very unhappy.

NZ nude mum snap auction a hoax

another rule of advertising

is don't get caught. I'd say he's sullied his brand, and that is a big, fat FAIL.

Dumb and Dumber had something to say about low prospects and upbeat attitudes:

Lloyd: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?

Mary: Not good.

Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?

Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.

[pause]

Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance!

Accenture saddles up Symbian development

End of Nokia smartphones

I liked my E71 and had hoped that Symbian would come good but this is too much. I'll have to seriously reappraise when my upgrade's due.

Cocaine-smuggling golfer fails 'what's your handicap' test

blagging

Why would you ever set out a-smugglin' if you knew you couldn't blag your way into a park? Numpty

Kent Police clamp down on tall photographers

If I happen to walk past someone being arrested for photography

I shall photograph it and encourage others to do the same.

Moderatrix to gain even more sinister powers

ID V2.0

Stephen Fry's recent appearance on Top Gear revealed Grinder to the wider world. (Grinder: Are you a cottaging homosexual and want to locate other cottaging homosexuals near you? There's an app for that.) Well, driving back from Cornwall on Saturday, we thought it might be fun to download it (didn't have it already, ok?) and check out any activity along the verges of the A303. The app, according to my mate in the passenger seat, is ruined. All he said was 'there's a lot of unpleasant people out there'.

So there's a problem with undesirables, but I don't believe cottaging homosexuals would necessarily want to exist on a list which would help Grinder discriminate between genuine and malicious visitors. And there's nothing stopping anyone gaming their profile. The idea's a bit weak.

More to the point, as if the Moderatrix would even blink at the opinion of lesser mods on her flock. As frickin' if.

Reg reader tickled by Acer's Easy Lai

@ Sniggering at foreigners' names

New Vietnamese developer, straight off the boat, going around an open plan office seating 50: 'Hi I'm Minge (Minh)'.

Thank you on-shoring!

Safety wonks condemn digital TV satnav

Driving game

satnavs are great for blind bends, like the ones you get in the country or in mountains. Pre-satnav, if you're going a leetil too queekly and the bend tightens, it can get a bit sketchy, but with a satnav, you have an idea of what's coming up and how fast you can go. I'm not the kind of nutter who'd watch Dr Who during a hill climb though. TVs in cars are prob great for kids, but I'm happy with an interactive map.

Ultimately, though, it's a thumbs down. Sticking stuff to the windscreen is naff, as are most built in satnavs. I want a decent factory fitted touch screen, with or without tv/movie playing tutt, and a choice of software. Then... then you could have a Rally Navigator add-in to describe the next turn: 'long medium right...'

El Reg commentards offered extra iconography

wot no 'Daggerin' icon?

could have been useful. Thanks El Reg, aside from this glaring omission. Anway, to the meat of what I'm trying to say: who is the pedantic nazi grammar dude? He looks like a Stalin/Elvis cross to my untrained eye.

Pint as it's gone 11am and it really is time for one.

btw if anyone has a pair of glasto tickets going spare, then the pint icon would also apply!

Home Office kicks ID cards into touch

Shame

What with all the fine weather that's been provided for us, I was beginning to warm to the idea.

Orthodox Jews tuck into kosher Koogle

@ Throatwobbler

Indeed. The geez-o-meter is off the charts.

MinionZero, no-one's going to inflict this on you. It's opt-in, and then only if you really, really, really want to. And even then, you probably won't be accepted. She may yet be yours.

Johnson shuffle returns ID cards to the table

good pic

groaning proles akimbo!

Imagine! Government to legislate against badness

twats

That sounds to me like a policy, not a law. Not going gracefully, then.

Site news: Unique commenter handles coming

What will happen to Tim # 3?

taking a bit of a liberty on his behalf but if any other f*cker nabs that callsign, it just wouldn't be right

Pressure group demands UK apes China net filter plan

twats

to bugger deeply into a sticky tangent for a moment:

a year or two ago the Kenwood concerts were banned - that's a series of around 8 summer saturday evenings when the likes of burt bacharach, the london philharmonic or perhaps some abba tribute regail the good people of hampstead and highgate with background music to accompany their picnics. Sure, they've got a bit commercial recently, with perrier tents etc., but they're good, clean fun. Banned, following some ridiculously small number of noise complaints (some say 3), despite the concerts having run for 55 years. And re-instated the following year following an overwhelming campaign from a group of people who generally thought themselves so mainstream and uncontroversial that they would always be able do what they wanted, because they don't ask much, really. What amazed everyone wasn't the small number of twats who wanted to ruin everything for everyone else, but the way in which the bureacracy failed the vast majority. Health and Safety issues. Production opaquely contracted out to 3rd parties. God knows what other small time politics played a part.

twats, twats everywhere.

RIP Personal Computer World

so long

PCW - the daddy. I remember being very pleased when it became good again, after a period of defection to PC Pro. The single-minded embeardedness of the likes of Guy Kewney and Mark Whitehorn couldn't be matched elsewhere. Glad to see you more recently on El Reg, Mr Kewney.

Thanks PCW!

Gordon 'to sacky' Wacky Jacqui

Empty feeling

Partly because her booting has long been inevitable, and partly because the privacy agenda has not featured sufficiently in her demise. You couldn't see the wood for the trees with this one.

Nevertheless, at least she's gone. What a wanker she was. Smiley as I'm beginning to warm to the idea of a Home Office free of Jacqui Smith, come what may.

IR35 tax is a huge failure

But think of the duck houses

How on earth will these be funded without this essential tax???

That's made my day. And it's sunny. Think I'll take the rest of the week off!

Home Office to keep innocent DNA samples

All your base pairs are belong to us

We're all out of options people:

Step 1) devise flawed DNA encryption technology

Step 2) experiment upon ourselves

Step 3) mutate!

Aussie censors implement six degrees of separation policy

Like any diaspora

the aussies amplify their roots. What a bunch of cnuts! Give me the UK any day of the year. Gives a bit of perspective on our own hapless leaders - yes we've got a few wrong 'uns, but at least they're roundly unpopular.

Pilots plot air raid on Jacqui over ID cards

Re: I know what you did last summer

Ryanair, right?

Google sued for 'stealing' Android name

fair dos

Let him play it out how he likes! Google will be operating out of sheer expediency, they'd rather pay him more, later, than allow him to slow them down.

@evolx10 - what a fresh and spongy young prawn you are. '...people are claiming words that they did not create, words that existed before their grandparents, before google...'