* Posts by lansalot

467 posts • joined 23 Mar 2007


Rogue phishing app smuggled onto Android Marketplace



" consulting their mobile phone firm for further advice"

Why ? What has that got to do with the carrier?

This one is at the feet of the app-store custodians... Asleep at the switch ?

Taser offers obsessive parents total mobe intrusion package


wow !

Or just keep them in, chained to your ankle the whole time. That'll learn them !!

Those people look scary on the website - can I sign up please, in case I have kids sometime in the future ? I may be pregnant now for all I know (I'm not buying this media conspiracy that only females can have kids...)

What utter shite. Still, what else to expect from the "Land of the Free"....

Unhappy Fujitsu staff vote for pre-Xmas strike


so what ?

Worst day to call a strike - the one day of the year I actually WANT to come to work !

Day will be spent coming in as late as is reasonable, sloping my way through any actual work until lunch, getting a few beers in and running rampant through the afternoon until the party all kicks off at 4pm.

Take that, bosses !!!

Loud sex woman coughs to ASBO breach


ah come on...

Didn't the Police just ask her to come quietly..??

Adware touts $1 bribe to prospective zombies

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excellent !!

Think I'll fire up a few virtual machines and get cracking. Only need them active for 24 hours before payment. Allegedly. And then, straight into the recycle bin with them.

Anyone else up for some of that ?

Snoop Dogg pimps self out on TomTom


yeah !

Chrizzle on a Bizzle ?

Tizzle Rizzle for the Wizzle for that one !!

'Alienated' gamer sues WoW for ruining life

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hey !

Let the guy have his moment !

I'd love to see this argued in court, it would be incredibly entertaining. Sadly, of course, it'll never get that far. We can only hope...

US data firm blows s**t out of server

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Big guns ! Big guys ! Small.... ?

I'd guess so...

Taiwanese online hunk lures 20 women into bed


what ???

How come this little ploy even worked ???

Bet Porsche don't mind the prostate-cancer-busting publicity however... though I thought their motors were more for those deficient on the flip-side....

Play.com leaves Modern Warfare 2 buyers empty handed



Strangely, I got an email saying it had shipped on the 5th... Still no sign, 8 days later....

Might buy it in Tescos and if/when it ever turns up, I'll just return it for a full refund.

Madmen cling to jet-powered merry-go-round



What a let-down ! I've seen faster rides at the local fairground (albeit less flame-y).

I want people hanging on by their fingertips for dear life before getting spat off into handy bushes if there's jet-power involved. They'd have got faster with a night on the curry and a box of swan-vestas.

Poor show I say, poor show !!!

Trucker prangs rig while cracking one off


what ?

Wait - they cuffed him WHILE he was still masturbating ?

High-five for the officer who managed that ! (Err, actually, no wait...)

Italian Job sat nav driver cops £900 fine



Got off lightly - should have fined him more for clearly being a twat.

Cracks show in music industry over P2P enforcement


a bit OT I know..

but I can't help but stifle a giggle whenever I read "chief executive Feargal Sharkey". Does nobody ever consult Secretary General Terence Trent D'Arby or Vice President Richard Fairbrass ?

YouTube Lad from Lagos stranded in London


brilliant !

"Whore books" ! Brilliant !

Think they've shot their bolt with the whole soap-opera bit a little now though. Could have strung this one out a little longer for our entertainment, perhaps a bit more banter between the two before the lucky "Prince" came to London but yeah - good fun while it lasted :)

James Martin apologises for cyclist outrage



Pansy. Stand by your comments, it's a laugh, tell them to grow a sense of humour and get over it.

(Yesterdays comments about "what a pathetic species" etc still stands)

New Guinea sex cult eyes bumper banana crop


oooh !

"but Peli had legged it into the bush."

How many bananas did that earn him ?

Cyclists give TV chef a Wikikicking


oooh blimey

This is what the world amounts to these days ?

Upset someone and get twittered/wiki'd and facebook group'd about ?

Fuck sake. What a pathetic species we've become.. (he said, posting a comment on a news site and appreciating the irony).

Heidemarie 'Toolbag' Piper resigns as NASA astronaut


you what ?

a "veteran" astronaut ?

What - they have animals that need attention up there as well ? What is this, some sort of celestial-Noah's-Ark or something ?

eBay close to Skype sale

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woah !

Easy enough for ebay to make up the shortfall. Just ensure the buyer has to pay vial Paypal - the fees should cover a fair bit of it..

Loch Ness Monster surfaces on Google Earth



Sorry, local hotel-owners. I call boat/wake on that one...

Actually, it's a bit late in the season to be Nessie-spotting anyway. You really need to get these done around March/April time, so as to hook the summer traffic. Poor show, hotel owners !

Walfamstow Cockney cash machine daffy ducked


bravo !

Well done Lester !

Best. URL. Ever. :)

MS and Sophos incompatible over Win 7 XP Mode


on patching

Anyone know how the split occurs between patching the XP-mode virtual, and the host ? Does WSUS - for example - detect two installations ? Do I need to create two PC accounts on the domain, adding another when I enable XP-mode ? This sounds like a real kludge of horrific proportions, but hopefully it won't be needed much in (our company's) real life...

Blighty customers see some Windows 7 prices halved




I didn't shell out for MSDN subscription - my company did and if I find my self sufficiently bored I'll try it over the weekend (stupid, as Vista works fine for me). But that wasn't the point - it was a reference in the article :

"Of course, that won't stop people pootling along to a BitTorrent tracker site where they'll be able to grab the RC version,"

If you were going to do that, you'd more likely grab the RTM version instead of the RC.



or even grabbing the RTM version that hit MSDN last week...

Server virtualization – what could possibly go wrong?

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my 2c...

Plenty of situations where a dedicated machine still wins (mostly for high performance applications), but virtualising is almost becoming a matter of course for us here.

On patch management, the ability to snapshot a machine before patching/upgrading it is pretty valuable. It's the ultimate rollback - as we all know only too well, sometimes backing the patch out just plain doesn't work. Sending the whole machine back in time (if applicable) can help with this, and it's another handy tool in the box.

The isolation virtualisation brings is also pretty handy: of Dept A not being able to upgrade their system at the weekend because it requires a reboot, but Dept B run their batch jobs at the weekend so can't have the system interrupted. Where these two systems would perhaps require two physical machines, they can now be consolidated onto one.

We have systems where vendors won't let us apply Service Packs to the OS because they know their software has a bug against it, so holding back a separate VM for one upgrade is now possible, rather than risking the whole physical which perhaps might run a few systems.

Abstraction is superb - the knowledge that I can take a couple of VHDs over to any other HyperV/Virtual Server/Vmware etc host and just fire them up in a DR scenario is smart. It's quicker to configure and fire up a VHD than it is to install a bare-metal OS, install Backup Exec, begin the restore etc etc etc...

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quite right Sarah !!

It's a fascinating insight. Everyone just wants to see the red-hot action. Very poor show, chaps, you're letting the side down..

Me, I'm all for a more helpful, hands-on, approach - and I'm booking my flight right now, with a view to helping some of these poor women out of their predicament, via a more "traditional" route.

For me, it's all about the giving. And if I get paid for it too, well, let me tell you I wouldn't say no to earning money hand over fist !

Sun cranks clocks on Sparc T2 and T2+


horses for courses

We use them for front-end application servers (oracle9ias) and despite the much lower clock-speed, they can handle far more concurrent connections than their non-coolthreads brethren here. Would we use them for HPC ? No. Would we use them when the load comes from many connections and processes rather than a handful of CPU-thrashers ? Yes, because that's what they're designed for.

Don't focus on the clock speed, or whether it at #1 in some HPC chart. It's not there for a reason - reason being because it's not built for that. But in plenty of everyday server-based scenarios, it will be ideal. Do your homework, and assess whether it's the kit for you and your situation.

O2 coughs to data failure



Are they saying they run the entire data network with a single-point-of-failure (in this case, a single DHCP server causing problems) or that they - perhaps - rolled out some change to multiple systems and that caused the DHCP failures ?

Seems like either poor DR planning, or poor change-control / testing to me ?

German cops cuff Brit potato iPod scammer


potatoes ?

Technical support here - have you tried re-boiling your PC ?

First person to make a gag about it being full of "chips" gets handed their coat.... ?

German bomber crashes on Moon Google Earth



Just send someone out with a snorkel, ffs. Put this baby to rest.

Metallica sticksman gloats over Napster downfall


don't forget

"they did portray me and Metallica as being greedy rock pigs and luddites"

Technically, you're also twats as well. Don't forget that. Though (technically) that wasn't the "other side" that proved it.

Apple sued over shrink-wrapped Mafia death threats


@ John Tserkezis

"When you eventually go nuts, don't come crying to me. You won't get any sympathy."

I won't. You don't have the legal clout needed in the appropriate universe to hear, digest and act upon my complaints against my un-elected multi-tentacled overlord and the 4-headed minions he sends to dig up my geraniums nightly, whilst I'm hiding in my dustbin, like some sort of dirty-wizard.

Cyclists offered cut-price shag at German brothel



70 euros a pop? What if you don't pop - do they put the bill on hold until you do ? Just exercise a bit of restraint and tell them you'll see them again tomorrow for the "finale"... Rinse, repeat etc.

Russian snatches world's strongest 'intimate muscles' crown



Worst. Tail. Ever.

Ukraine slaps ban on all porn



"Don't come in my room mum - I'm having a medical moment!!!!"

Is Ocarina missing a trick?


dobocarina ?

If they did they "heymacarena" version, I'd buy it :)

Please don't eat your horse, EU asks owners

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Thanks, moderatrix

I was feeling suitably lazy at this time of day, so please put me down for a 2) and a 3). Cheers.

Man dressed as dead mother to scam $1m



If he's posing as his dead mother, I presume he'll get a stiff sentence.


Gay animals going at it like rabbits


so gay...

So, confirmation of an animal/whoopsy kingdom then ? About time !

Can we look forward to better-decorated birds-nests soon then, as the ones round my chimney are an eyesore ? I know peacocks put the effort into their appearance, but how about a badger with some EJ-style sunglasses ? Make the effort, badger-girl-friend ! (snap, snap)

Or Gok Wan giving it "How to burrow good, naked" ?



"For example, male-male copulations in locusts can be costly for the mounted male"

Costly ? If I were the mounted male in question, the cost would be the last thing I'd worry about...

Orthodox Jews tuck into kosher Koogle


oh come on

Why didn't they just call it Jewggle ? Seems like they missed a trick there, and the fact that they wandered away by a leading letter really draws attention to that fact.

Oi vey.com !

Isle of Man KKK burns cross on Facebook


comovers ?

Are you sure this wasn't "combover's" ? Sounds a bit more likely to me. I'm all for going bald gracefully, none of this fakery. I say the syrup-wearers should be outed and there's not a court in the land that would hang me for it. That said, judges appear to be into wigs as well - so I might be on sticky ground...

ASBO woman cuffed over raucous rumpy-pumpy


ooh err

Slapped with an ASBO ? It's kinky stuff alright !

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Carry On producer Peter Rogers dead at 95



@pctechxp and "where's the IT angle": (raspbery-sound) - knickers !

Or as in Carry on Screaming - "frying tonight !!!"

Happy days...

Emily Bung: You haven't taken me out for ages

Det Sgt. Bung: Don't exaggerate, we went out a couple of months ago, had a lovely time.

Emily Bung: You call that lovely, my poor mother's funeral.

Det Sgt. Bung: Well I enjoyed it!

Bacon sarnies cure hangovers: Official


@David Bell

"how long will Gordon Pryra still have an account on El Reg and who at the Reg is going to get a bollocking for this?"

I'm guessing nobody will get a bollocking. It was clearly tagged as a joke. Grow up, and get a sense of humour along the way.

(That's me, speaking on behalf of the whoopsies - who will no doubt be reading the Hello! website instead of el Reg, of course)

Microsoft plays coy over iPhone Office



I only have a 16gb iPhone - will that be enough to load Office on ?

WAG sues CPW for phone pic nick


@John Stirling

Actually, you might be a good person to ask - do you have any idea where I can get tickets for JD's funeral ? I've tried ebay and ticketmaster, but no joy.... thanks.

Google debuts JavaScript playground


cool !


I'm working on an artificial-anti-intelligence program just now - could you kindly share the sourcecode for your comments generator please ? Many thanks in advance :)



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