* Posts by Herby

2998 posts • joined 14 Dec 2007

USAF Colonel goes on the offensive with botnet destroyer plan

Herby

Why not destroy the 'bots'

While it looks OK "on paper", the real objective is to "take out" that part of the machine that is the actual "bot" (the malware). The only problem with this action is that it will probably require some actual thought, which as the oxymoron "military intelligence" indicates is probably lacking. The whole process will most likely be outsourced anyway, probably overseas (where the problem started).

Meet circular reasoning. (*SIGH*)

British Gas sues Accenture

Herby

British Gas...second worst energy supplier for customer service

OK, I'm not on that side of the pond, but after this description (and the comments), we need to know what is doing a poorer job? From the looks of it, it can't go much lower.

Over here in sunny California (it was nice yesterday!) we have this utility we call PG&E (actually Pacific Gas and Electric, aka Pacific Graft and Extortion) which in the "customer service" area doesn't do too bad. They just charge lots of $$$ for the stuff they re-sell (natural gas and kilowatt hours). I'd complain, but the company really has little to do with the prices (*SIGH*). Oh, well.

Gordon Brown claims a Brit invented the iPod

Herby
Coat

And AlGore invented the internet

101 Fallacies I have known.

Among them:

The world is flat (with apologies to the Flat Earth Society)

You can go faster than the speed of light (sorry Einstein)

DeHavaland was the first to go faster than the speed of sound (Hi Chuck!)

I'll respect you in the morning.

The check is in the mail.

"I'm from the government and I'm here to help you" (run like hell!)

"It's free" (nothing is!)

640k is enough.

The list goes on. I'll get my coat. Bye...

NGO attacks Apple's lack of action on climate change

Herby
Coat

Why do I suspect they use Mac's anyway!

What computers do these people use? What is their "score". Please compute it for us.

Pardon me, you mistake me for someone who actually "gives a damn!".

So, I'm leaving now!

Ruckus kicks off over directional Wi-Fi

Herby

Cell phone antenna[e|s] are like this

Just go and look at the local tower. Directionality abounds at a lower frequency (not by much!) than the WiFi stuff.

Pretty obvious if you ask me!

NASA confirms manned mission to 10 Petaflops

Herby
Coat

Necessary? To the moon?

In the 60's when the USA first went to the moon, the computers weren't much more than what is in a cell phone (really much less). Why all the compute power? Hasn't anyone learned how to make algorithms efficient.

Oh, I forgot, they're using Windows. I'll get my coat.

Windows XP SP3 leaps into the tubes

Herby
Coat

"What Gives"?

Its Microsoft. That what gives. No other explanation is necessary (or will be given).

Out the door. Over to the pub.

Yahoo! shareholders thump Yang in the fiduciaries

Herby

Open up a couple more cases and the banker will offer again...

It is all "Deal, or No Deal".

Sometimes you open up the high valued cases, sometimes the low ones. The banker always comes back with another offer. Just wait!

Of course, there is some regulatory hurdles (did I hear anti-trust) somewhere, but pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!

Intel wants to own the weather prediction business

Herby

Maybe, just maybe they will ACCURATELY predict the weather

Or climate models, global warming, etc...

Oh, Al Gore was wrong, whoops!!

Hyundai and Kia's latest pitch to US drivers - Windows

Herby

Shades of 2001?

"I'm sorry Dave I can't do that"

NASA invites you to travel to the Moon

Herby

Well, they do have the "International Star Registry"

Then: For only $52 we will send you a piece of paper that names a star after you.

Now: For only $100 (inflation, you know) we will send your name to the moon.

NASA could make zillions.

Added green burden could ground flying cars for good

Herby

Kilowatts per, etc... (@ Chris G)

There is a BIG difference between "kilowatts per hour" (nonsense) and "kilowatt-hours" (actually 3.6 Mega Joules) which is a unit of energy.

Kilowatt is a unit of POWER. Power multiplied by time is ENERGY.

I don't know the exact term used in the FFF units system, but I'm sure someone will enlighten me.

Microsoft walks away from Yahoo!

Herby

Pretty simple: Deal, or No Deal

Steve just closed the door on the big read "deal" button and said "No Deal". He obviously thinks that the price is too high.

His next step is to wait a while and open up more cases. He is betting that the banker is going to have a better offer, and then he might take it.

Me, I'd give it a couple of months, and wait for the next "Deal". Given the way the stock price is floating around, the price is going to be lower and then Stevie boy is going to press the big red button saying "DEAL".

Of course, this does not take into account all of Yahoo!'s customers who once Microsoft does take over are going to be screwed royally (what do you mean Yahoo! only works on IE?).

(*SIGH*)

How to destroy 60 hard drives an hour

Herby

What will customs think though?

Have one of these (drilled) and then attempt to walk past a customs official. He will ask for the password. Then what?

Them: What is the password?

Me: The drive is unreadable!

Them: I need the password!

(never mind!).

BOFH: The Boss gets Grandpa Simpson syndrome

Herby
Coat

Punch cards, chad and keypunches (Oh My!)

The biggest fun was invoking the "shower of chad" on your enemy. The sharp edges of the chad (yes, like that famous hanging chad of Florida fame) would stick in everything. It took forever for it to get out. If one had a machine that produced punch cards (not a silly keypunch) it usually didn't take long to fill up the chad bin to a capacity for the task. Other fun was making of lace cards (if you could get it done). It wasn't very easy.

All of this migrated to these silly things called terminals (ASR-33's were a favorite) that ran at 10 characters/second. These gave way to units with IBM Selectric typewriter mechanisms which were MUCH faster (by about 50%) and ran at 134.5 bps (not 110 like the teletypes).

Oh, and stuff like lower case was a luxury!

Must go now. Time for my Prozak......I think it is in the left pocket.

Is the earth getting warmer, or cooler?

Herby

Sunspots.

These things come and go. Mostly in 11 year cycles.

Oh, I thought we were talking about "Climate Change"/"Global Warming"

Customers give Dell the finger over keyboard screw-up

Herby

Doesn't anyone have a screwdriver?

It seems that with some small mechanical work (why the screwdriver comes to mind) one could pop off the keys and do a proper left shift on the row. Of course the '\|' key will probably be on the other side (next to the '/?' key) but that is small stuff.

The programming change is left as an exercise to the student.

All fo this reminds me of the @#$%^&* VT-220 keyboard that had an extra ('<>') key between the 'Z' key and th shift key. Made it terrible for the reasonable typists in us.

The lesson: Don't muck with what works. Just to be different doesn't work (at all!).

Texas man tries to cash $360bn cheque

Herby

$360E+9, etc... Where is the "evidence"

What we need is a copy of the actual check to make sure all of this is proper and all that. Then we will know if the amount was properly announced to the public.

Of course, why don't we just use SI pre/suffixes?

Then it would be 360 Gigadollars. Me, I prefer the more obvious "$360E+9" which everyone knows is the same thing.

Ob. Carl Sagan: Billions and Billions.

Zango's adware fox desperate to guard net henhouse

Herby

It could be worse...

If this DOES continue, those who sell stuff over such media as say TELEVISION could rightfully sue the TV vendors for having a MUTE button. Yes, the ad purveyors have all the right to spew forth, but I also have a right to enlist any help to eradicate the mess. Hopefully someone will "see the light".

Then again, given how lawyers are I don't hold out much hope.

US beak pecks at RIAA's 'making available' filesharing attack

Herby

What do libraries do?

Make books (covered by copyright!) available. Most have a copy machine (usually for huge amounts per page) as well. Combine the two and...

So, we close all the libraries. Wonderful thought! Next we burn books, I assume?

Linux guru Hans Reiser convicted of first-degree murder

Herby

Looney Tunes

While Tweety Bird was a Looney Tunes character, Jerry the mouse wasn't!

MGM & Messrs Hanna and Barbera would heartly concur!

p.s. I always rooted for Sylvester anyway. He had a much better personality.

I could argue about California's legal system, but my success fighting it (traffic tickets) has been miserable. Presently they don't have "traffic school" for 187PC offenders! Sorry Hans.

Governator outs Dubya's global-warming 'time bomb'

Herby

Easy to be green...

Wear a green tie. Arnold did last night on the Tonight Show!

Oh, Bio-Fuels will make food cost more and starve people. Even better, eliminates their production of CO2 from breathing, or other waste products.

Server makers snub whalesong for serious windmill abuse

Herby

Now I understand why eeePc is the way it is...

Perfectly natural. Babe on beach, ploking away on the PC. Servers on the other hand don't have nice keyboards that are transportable to the local beach.

P.S. The ads for stuff like this go back quite some time. Pick a background (background of the day) and the PR company will supply the copy. Then shine a nice green light (you wanna a green coat, ...).

Motorised meat-smoker droid vigilante patrols Atlanta

Herby

Saw this on the news last night.

The guy DOES have some ingenuity. While having the AK-47, or similar is more "to the point", the box does get results. The "bums" (we use this word here to mean malcontents, hobos, abode challenged, etc...) just don't like getting squirted with the deadly DHMO!

Well, it worked on the wicked witch of the west! ("I'm melting...")

Apple blocks cheaper UK iPod sales

Herby

We used to have this here in the USA

It was called "fair trade". The manufacturer set "minimum price" that something could be sold at. Several states had a corresponding law. Of course some states didn't, and in those states things (I remember Sony TVs at one point) were cheaper there. Then we had a lawyer involved. It went all the way to the Supremes in DC. Law overturned. No free trade. Now we just have "minimum advertised price", which you see sometimes. Then places like Amazon have "click here for best price", which gets around this (ask for the good price then it isn't advertised!).

So, there will always be ways to get around "restrictions". When there is a will, there is always a way!

FreeBSD developer Kip Macy charged with tenant terror

Herby

Go rent the movie...

Pacific Heights: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100318/

Tenants vs. Landlords - makes for a good story. Who do you believe, one never knows.

Home Office defends 'dangerously misleading' Phorm thumbs-up

Herby

Wiretapping, still.

Would anyone allow telephone conversations to be "recorded" with "no personally identifying information"?

I didn't think so!

Microsoft could go it alone without Yahoo!

Herby

Yes, people do!

Use Yahoo. I just don't like Google and all it does ("no evil"??). I started out using Yahoo before it had searches and was the only index in town. Stayed with them thru all their foibles (AltaVista, etc...). Done me OK.

If they go to the "dark side", I'll go somewhere else, Ask, maybe. I just don't like Google, it gives me a bad taste.

Brain-plug weapons could provide war crime immunity

Herby

The first thing we do is...

...kill all the lawyers.

Enough said.

Americans love wireless - and AT&T too

Herby

Remember "AT&T" is...

A modem test command. Not much more.

Here on the west coast of the USA (aka "left" coast), it WAS "Pacific Telephone", part of the original AT&T. Then came 1984. Became "Pacific Bell". Got a baseball park named after it. Then bought out by SBC (aka "some big company"). Renamed the ball park. Then they bought (what was left of) AT&T, the old long distance company. Took on the name.

Of the "Baby Bells" (NYNEX, Bell Atlantic, Bell South, Southwestern Bell Company, Ameritech, US West, Pacific Telesis), 4 are now under the new AT&T umbrella. Two (NYNEX, and Bell Atlantic) along with GTE (Great Telephone Experiment) now are Verizon. The only thing left is US West, now "Qwest communications". Who knows if/when it will be swallowed up (but it does have the largest (area) territory).

So concludes our telephone history lesson for today. See how well anti-trust breakups work!

Nokia predicts IBM 360 of mobile phones

Herby

David Pogue

I've heard is rendition of "My Way" LIVE with accompaniment (a nice theater type organ). Boy was he a fanboi of the iphone. It was funny at the time, but it went on way too long! Trust me, he won't win a Grammy Award!

When will the mobile phone industry learn that all I want to do is TALK. Anything else is just fluff and junk I need to learn. That silly phone I see on TV that only has dial buttons is getting more and more appealing to me every day.

Data pimping catches ISP on the hop

Herby

Wiretapping, by any name is still...

Wiretapping. ANY packet inspection for the purposes other than routing is wiretapping. Yes, you can tap "yourself" to turn off nasty web pages you don't want, but that is at the origin (or destination).

When will someone say it is like having a speech recognition program "listen" to your phone line to "target" advertising to you. If it smells like wiretapping, it probably is!

Get the local district attorney to prosecute them on wiretapping charges. Where is Elliot Spitzer when you need him (groan!).

In-flight calling given lukewarm reception

Herby

"Can you hear me now?"

NO! Now shut up.

Where is the Duct Tape and a sock!

Malodorous Europe gasses UK

Herby
Joke

A solution?

Well, somebody could light a match. That usually gets rid of stuff in the bathroom. Be aware that at times (with proper mixture) those gases can be explosive.

One match not enough? Try two.

If you want REALLY bad smells, try the feedlot part way down I-5 in California's central valley. No amount of matches will solve that one.

You'll learn to love mobile TV

Herby

But I don't want to watch TV on a postage stamp!

I want a nice big multi-inch LCD/Plasma/CRT/Projection system where I can lounge around and swill beverages and eat popcorn. I don't think this is going to be "mobile" any time soon.

Besides, if I'm "mobile" I'm out and about. Paying attention to where I'm going and how I'm getting there. The last thing I need is to watch "Desperate Housewives" (which I don't anyway!).

This DVD will self-destruct in 48 hours

Herby

Return to Mission Impossible!!!

This message will self destruct in......................

Or "please dispose of this message in the usual manner" (usually burning it!)

US law makers seek ban on in-flight calls

Herby

How to ban cell phones...

Make sure that whatever the airlines do, there are NO additional charges. Make the rates the same as "on land". If there no incentive for the airlines, it WON'T happen.

Peace and quiet for me. Where is the "no crying babies" section? Where is the duct tape and sock I had stashed somewhere.....

BT's secret Phorm trials open door to corporate eavesdropping

Herby

Strategy: Call it what it is!

Wiretapping is wiretapping no matter what the purpose. It is the same as opening up the mail to see what you get/send. So:

PHORM is WIRETAPPING!

and by inference:

BT is WIRETAPPING!

Carry on!

Thankfully here in the USA they haven't tries this junk yet. If they do, I'm going to be the first to call up the media. There are several radio people who have "consumer" talk shows who will be interested!

Women love chocolate more than password security

Herby

Do you provide curb service?

Name: billg

Password: Mi¢ro$oft

I prefer Snickers Bars, large size.

Fake subpoenas harpoon 2,100 corporate fat cats

Herby

Why don't they target something "interesting", like congress?

While you might not yield much in financial information (then again, maybe so), getting these installed on congressmen/senator/MP (internationalized!) computer might get some people "aware". Unfortunately, these people already get lots of "personally" addressed mail (everybody know who they are!). Of course, if you disguised it as a campaign contribution, it would get a look. Who knows, your favorite legislator might have something to hide from the general public.

First, the attack. Second, the posting on wikileaks. Third the downfall of government as we know it (maybe not all that bad?).

IT depts under threat as City braces for 20,000 job cuts

Herby

If true, then it is time to....

Hone up on those BOFH skills. You know, how to bribe the beancounter. Curry favor with the boss, or other "necessary" skills. Planting bad stuff on the HR's computer. Webcams for fun (in the right places). Oh, the list goes on.....

(New) dirt-cheap bots attack Hotmail Captchas

Herby

A better solution

Why not have "word problems" and a picture. Like "multiply the left two digit number and right three digit number". Then the 'bot needs to understand a bunch of things. Then also require it on outgoing mail. A "reasonable" limit on the outgoing mail (n per day) could help as well. People with a yahoo! address don't need to send over 100 mails in the span of 5 minutes! The big reason for wanting the account is for the responses, not the outgoing stuff anyway.

Maybe they will have a one-time fee of $1.00 to open an account. Might help. Double it if more are opened in a 24 hour period.

New York lawmakers approve 'Amazon Tax'

Herby

Sales tax rates...

When NY State implements this mess (they will at least TRY to). The people of NY State will have lots of time to think up other ways to capture the goose that lays the golden eggs.

In California, I've seen the tax rate (Sales tax) go from 4% in the early 60's up to its present 8.25%. This is money that goes DIRECTLY to our wonderful government run by the Governator. The big problem is that while the rate has DOUBLED (remember this is the RATE), we don't get twice the government out of it. In fact we probably don't get much more than what the 4% bought us.

So, any way of getting out of paying sales taxes is welcome to many of us. Thankfully I've got relatives in (sales tax free) Oregon who can help out with those "big ticket" items.

For those of you wanting to know: Sales tax was originally supposed to be a replacement for property taxes on the same item. They thought of a rate and figures on how long you would keep it. It was supposed to be an easy replacement. Now our governments (there are lots here in the USA) wants a "piece of the action". Always your "partner" even if you don't want it. (*SIGH*)

Why California? I was down in Carmel (Clint's (make my day) hangout) this weekend and it was a nice 80 degrees, and the beach was wonderful. The weekend before, I was skiing at Lake Tahoe. Enough said!

The missing five-minute Linux manual for morons

Herby

Everybody knows VI is...

...VI. Nothing more. Nothing less. It has been that way since I started using it on a System 3 machine back in the 80's. If you want another editor, feel free to write it and have your fun. VI for all its uglyness (it has lots) seems to work OK. It also has the advantage that it is everywhere. Even on the silly HP/UX box. Yes, it is some junky variant that does some things a little bit differently, but it is VI through and through. As for the Windows people, if you want an editor, go back to EDLIN and cry there. Yes, it was everywhere (still is on XP).

As for editors, my personal favorite was EDT for DEC boxes. It worked quite well, and even was modeless. At least we aren't talking about EMACS which one can genuinely get LOST in. It probably has a mode that figures out your taxes (being April 15 is tomorrow).

Canada.gov blocks sale of space company to US

Herby
Joke

And I thought that Canada was...

...a wholly owned subsidiary of the USA. Now that their dollar is actually worth something.

And they have some silly leaf on the flag. Give me nice wonderful stars and stripes.

Why can't I put TWO icons next to the message, my coat is the one with the Shark on it, not the one with the Flame on it. Oh, well.

IBM wants to get youngsters hooked on Power

Herby

Memo to IBM

Make up a nice form factor compatible motherboard with PCI slots that uses the nice ATX power input connector. Include a reasonable BIOS that will boot a Linux DVD/CD. Sell for prices that are on a par with current x86 stuff.

I'll probably BUY it.

Lots of the 1U servers and desktop towers can be put together with a motherboard like that, if it has all the spigots that normally come with a normal PeeCee motherboard. I'd assume it has a couple of USBs, and a nice VGA port with a built in sound card. Nice additions would be some of those very usable "legacy" ports DE-9 serial and DB-25 parallel. Add in a network port (100BaseT) and you are good to go.

Nice marketing ploy: Include the Linux DVD.

Where do I sign up?

Area 51 drug test victim crashes flying car

Herby

Area 51? More like area 5150!!

California has all types (look it has me!). This guy is a little bit off the wall. Been watching way to many movies.

Google data centers snub Africa, Oz, and anything near Wyoming

Herby

Wyoming??

I understand Wyoming. Look the state is 1/2 the population of San Jose (California).

They have house numbers that measure distances in 100ths of miles. My brother is on 690 XXXX road, which is 6.9 miles from the "main road". Still a ways from the "city" (small bump in the road).

Then again, the outback of OZ is "wide open!" and Africa needs OLPC to get any computers. Maybe "Google knows best"!?!

BOFH: Lift laughs

Herby

You need the proper references for actors

"I need to go to Radio Shack and get some rosin core solder"

---Used Cars, 1980

It has a few BOFH moments.

World Bank chief: Ethanol cars run on human misery

Herby

No good deed goes unpunished...

It is the law of unintended consequences. Usually governments invent "good deeds" and we go from there.

Oh, goody. E85. Now what was the price of that corn tortilla?

Never mind!

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