Posts by dervheid

Spy boss damns government's culture of fear

What's this? A voice of reason?

Expect rapid smothering response from the NuLabourian 'Department of Truth and Facts', aka Wacky Jacqui.

Feuding iPhone fart-makers raise legal stink

Sheltered existence?

"Can anyone enlighten me as to what "Pull My Finger" got to do with farting?"

You gotta be joking, right?

Clearly you have to be pulling our collective plonker.

BCS accuses UK.gov of grabbing 'draconian' data powers

No, there really ARE no depths...

to which NuLabour will not stoop in order to cloak legislative process and tighten it's stranglehold on UK society.

Yet another set of wide, sweeping powers, with little or no checks or balances. A dark path, we are indeed heading down.

Operators and handset vendors plug standard charger

@ Duh...

Greed, my friend.

Mobile operators combine to flog customer data

Depends on the service!

"There's nothing wrong with a search service aggregating data for statistical analysis - if they provide a service, it's fair enough to get something back for it"

Which is fair enough.

But we're not talking about a search service here.;

"The UK's mobile operators have agreed to pool and sell customer data in an attempt to stimulate the mobile advertising sector."

They are "get(ting) something back for it", they're being paid to provide a mobile telephony service, be that voice, data or a combination of both. They should NOT be allowed to whore our activity history around without our express permission. Or without some recompense to the users whose stats they're whoring.

The same principle applies, IMHO, to fixed line services. )BT, Phorm, I'm looking at you!)

If you want my data / usage stats, call it what you like, for a service I'm PAYING YOU FOR, have the fucking common courtesy to ask my permission first.

I might let you have it.

But At A Price!!

Oh fecking joy!

Yet MORE unsolicited fecking texts.

Oi! C**ts!

We PAY you to provide us with a service, NOT to whore our activity history to the fecking highest bidder.

Or yer mates.

Feck Off!

Woman sues over Vista to XP 'downgrade' charge

@ whine whine whine

"FFS - If you don't want Vista, and don't want to pay to have XP instead, buy a PC elsewhere"

Where, exactly, perchance? And don't say "Apple", that's NOT a 'PC', although it is an alternative. Point me at someone selling PCs or Laptops, completely sans OS.

To Joe Public.

Retail.

Go! Go! Go!

Get it right up them!!

Pilots boycott gov ID cards

Who knows what could happen if she annoys the populace too much......

Perhaps you should refer to mid 20th century Italian Political history for a possible answer to that.

Not that we'd want anything to happen to her, now would we?

Well, that should be an end...

to Wacky Jaqui's 'pilot' scheme then.

But you just know it won't be.

Brits 'a bunch of yellow bastards', says irate Yank

If THAT's the FotW...

everyone must really be on the chill pills.

Clearly you / we are not pissing enough people off here!

Get working on it, you lazy shower of pacifist, ass kissing pansies!

SB, wine glass down, and get that whip back in your hand woman. Just because it's Friday afternoon is NO EXCUSE for slacking!

New Zealand bolts net filtering regime into place

I love the smell...

of cowardice on a Friday!

"Sorry Kiwis, this is not going to make the bad thing go away."

I stand by that. And likewise appreciate the nigh on impossible task of eliminating Child Abuse on a global scale, for the reasons you state (one man's meat is another man's poison, as it were.)

However.

To take a stance which, IMHO, cries out "We're all right Jack. Our citizens can't get to this muck!" is simply denial of the worst kind:

"LA LA LA LA LA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I CANT SEE YOU, YOU DON'T EXIST"

Unfortunately, the Kiwis will be railroaded into this by the "Won't anyone think of the children" brigade.

This will do NOTHING to prevent even a single incidence of Child Abuse. It may even make things worse domestically. IE, no- easy on-line 'fix' available, some will be compelled to satisfy their perverse craving in reality. NOW think of the children!

There is no 'easy' answer.

But this, IMO, is not part of the answer either. Neither is implementing this on a global scale.

This is the thin end of a potentially massive censorship wedge.

"Everything you think, do and say,

Is in the pill you took today"

Wedge.

Whilst the 'incentives' and 'intentions' of this are laudable, the potential for future misuse and 'mission creep' by the NZ government is massive. This in no way addresses the root problem, but is akin to adopting a set of national blinkers, whilst putting collective governmental fingers in the ears and singing loudly "LA LA LA LA LA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I CANT SEE YOU, YOU DON'T EXIST"

Sorry Kiwis, this is not going to make the bad thing go away.

Miliband refuses to release torture documents

Saw him being interviewed this morning

He didn't look as bloody smug as he did when he was pissing on Paw Broon a few months ago.

Squirming like a slug.

Great!

Jacqui Smith cracks down on gangs via computers, closets

Injunctions are like ASBOs

Pointless, limited and ultimately regarded as another measure of how 'hard' these scumbags rate themselves, and each other.

Way to go with another useless 'initiative' Jacqui!

Do us all a favour, either resign or FOAD, either will do.

And take the rest of the Cabinet with you while you're at it.

And Paw Broon.

Here's your coat.

X2 triplex supercopter gets tail-drive hooked up

WANT!

NOW!

Boffin dubs global warming 'irreversible'

Mark, You're so right!

The sun IS the problem!

NASA are looking for volunteers for a manned mission, it's objective is to put an object large enough between the sun and the earth to reduce solar radiation just enough to slow down the naturally occurring warming cycle at the present hospitable temperature range.

I have it on good authority that you were put forward for this mission, but your skull was deemed to be to large and dense and it's shadow would plunge the earth and all its inhabitants into an immediate ice-age, forcing us to burn even more precious fossil fuel, and/or all the lentil munching eco-nazis just to keep warm.

I'm afraid I'd have to reject any call to participate, as I'm far too busy adding copious quantities of CO2 and methane into the atmosphere. Perhaps you'd care to join me for a large curry this evening. I'll send my driver round in the Hummer. Best bring your coat, apparently it's going to get really chilly.

Mark, I thank you

Truly, I am humbled by your praise.

I do it not for the glory, however, but for the generations to come after us.

We MUST overcome this obsession with CO2, but let's not hold our breath on that one, shall we.

Although, if you're volunteering...

@ Wow, what a load o' horseshit

Actually, I think you'll find it's bullshit.

Yes, bullshit, and sheep-shit, goat-shit, chicken-shit, and yes, to a lesser extent horse-shit, hell even the camel-shit. Actually, it's ALL shit.

Common element here - methane.

Animals (and people) fart millions of tons of it every year, and methane is a considerably more effective greenhouse gas than CO2. Combine that with the methane from rotting garbage...

Let me get this right.

"global warming is "irreversible" on the human time scale"

So.

Does that mean there's Sweet FA we can do about it.

Great.

Lets all stop worrying about it happening then. If this *is* the case, we should be expending more effort on planning for a future that's going to be very different from the world we have now, rather than thinking like King Canute that buying a Toyota 'Pious' or any other hybrid/leccy vehicle is going to stop the water rising.

I'm a sceptic now, says ex-NASA climate boss

And no doubt...

Hansen will be calling for the jailing of Theon as well now.

iPhone SMS error bug won't go away

Heads...

in the sand, it seems.

Doner kebabs: Death wrapped in pitta bread

NO!

Really?

Who would have thought it?

Only surprise here is that people were (presumably) paid for this.

"Doner Dragnet"

Now there's an unpleasant image!

Red Dwarf finally returns to Earth

!sega ni swen tseb eht s'tahT !tnallirB gniggemS

Let's just pray that it doesn't end up being like the cat's final experience in 'Backwards'.

I suspect that the cast are all going to need considerably larger costumes this time round.

Pass the fresh mango juice!

Kiwi finds US military secrets on 'MP3 player'

Of course you realise...

that as he's not a US national, they'll try and turn this on its head.

They'll be asking the Kiwis to deport him back to the US so they can prosecute him on some trumped up charges.

Oh, wait, maybe not. The Bush era is over, after all.

Microsoft's Windows Vista 'Capable' bill could hit $8.5bn

"a windfall to millions."

As opposed to a windfall for Microstuffed.

This is long overdue.

As we say in the land of Jock;

"Get it RIGHT up them!"

Stop'n'search gets touchy-feely

@ Re; Matt Bryant

Nah!

you'd have to be a complete TOOL to come onto a forum like this if you *were* THAT Matt Bryant and not have the sense to change your username

Unless you're being paid by the word / post.

Thames windfarm execs: We need more subsidy

Finally, a set of figures...

that even the lentil-munchers can comprehend...

"estimating the cost of offshore capacity at £3m per megawatt, more than double what it costs to build nuclear stations"

and

"The cost of the electricity produced is even worse than this figure indicates; wind farms' average output over time is around 30 per cent of their capacity, whereas nuclear stations typically run at 90 per cent. Thus, it costs more than six times as much to build a given level of power production using windfarms as it does using nuclear"

just how much clearer does it have to be?

as for

"Thames windfarm execs: We need more subsidy"

No.

You need to be FIRED!

Immediately.

Think of the money we'd save.

BT price rises go down well

Re: RE: Sigh (2)

Coax to the street JB then into the fibre-optic. Copper for maybe 150m +/-.(Virgin)

or

Shitty ancient two-wire (unscreened) to a pole mounted box, then through a multicore (sans screens between pairs, maybe o/a screen) through a poxy in-line joint to repair a damaged cable, then into a street JB into a bigger multicore, via god-alone-knows how many more joints, finally ending up back in the converted exchange . Copper for maybe 2500m. (BT)

Nope, no difference at all.

Sky Broadband, without having to pay BT a penny?

Eh, take your phone to sky too!!

ISPs slam CEOP bid to rewrite RIPA

What we really need...

Is a massive database of all electronic communications made by anyone, of any nature, kept forever, that Plod can have free access to...

Oh.

Bugger.

"Welcome to NuLabouria. Papers please Citizen!"

Hilton 'sucks face' with MySpace CEO

"Sucking Face"?

Surely it'd be a public indecency offence, even if it WAS the guy from "The A Team"

Fake plane death businessman left SOS bullet-point list

What a diddy!

A daftie, a numptie, a complete tube!

It's a wonder they didn't find a script. (Given what we have so far, it'll probably turn up sooner or later anyway)

Prison warders told to can 'hurtful' language

PISH!

Complete and utter PISH!

I'm sick and tired of all these fucking psycho P.C. numpties. Nutters, the fucking lot of them. Absolutely no grip on reality. If they try and punish the cons for using some of these common phrases, then, in the words of the Kaiser Chiefs, "I Predict a Riot"

Ms Moloney needs to remove her asshat, is clearly a daftie, and should remain dumb forthwith.

Capability Scotland are doing themselves no favours with this, and should bag the aforementioned eijit before she does any more damage. Whit a tube!

OGC cracks one off on with new logo

Only confirming...

what we all already knew about the OGC!

Now we CAN genuinely call them a bunch of tossers!

Who reads The Register?

That should really read...

"don't you realise that the "main reason" most people read your rag is because it's *occasionally, very occasionally,* funny?

HDTV 'pointless' without perfect peepers

"Head of Professional Services at Vision Express"

No sign of a vested interest there then.

Or perhaps I need to have my eyes tested?

Honda shows off Insight hybrid

Figures are just not good enough.

Like several other posters, I drive a TDi engined car, can achieve those sort of mileage figures, but have a lot more grunt to play with if I need it. There is, IMHO, no point to this vehicle, or the Pious, except to improve (very, very slightly) localised air emissions.

419ers take Canadian for $150,000

@ Compassion

He'd get compassion if it was just down to stupidity, but it wasn't.

The prime motivator was, as ever, greed!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Cash-strapped US businessman jumps from light aircraft

Re: Could we have the Anti-Darwins?

Just

"The Twats"

Rory B Bellows...

did pull it off successfully, however.

Storm worm smackdown as researchers unpick control system

Ah, good old Red Tape...

don't you just love it?

Forget Google rationing: Only lighting farts can save the planet

They'll be putting a tax on that next...

you know!

Using the newly developed F.L.A.T.T. tables (Flatulence Linked Anal Taxation Tariff), all foods will be labelled with one of 5 categories, from 5 to 1, with 1 being the highest taxed bracket (Baked Beans, Brussel Sprouts, Cabbage, lentils etc; that's payback for the veggie-munchers!) NuLabour expects to raise BILLIONS over the next two years, as more and more people find themselves reduced to living off baked beans coz they can't get credit for anything else!

MI5 head calls for comms data access

Easy!

"if the spooks want to watch someone, they need to gain authorisation from someone in authority to do it "

Just replace the "someone in authority".

Step forward Jackboots Smith.

It's what she wants, isn't it.

Oracle tripped up by 'leap second'

"Cluster Ready Services"?

Could this possibly be the new name for "Cluster F**K Services"?

Nah, surely not.

EDS pays for tax failure

"presumably for less...

... than the total of £71.25m had they chosen to pay it off over time"

That'll be made up by the rest of us then!

Again.

Useless!

Fucking!

Wankers!

NASA warns of 'space Katrina' radiation storm

The more we 'learn'...

the more we realise just how little we have learned.

"We're a' doomed!"

Photography: Yes, you have rights

yet another...

little bit of your 'freedom' taken away by the NuLabouria Stazi.

"Papers, Citizen!"

Fly-tipping yes, dog poo no - Jacqui promises Ripa changes

What?

"Smith said the use of CCTV has the confidence and support of the British public"

You really DO believe that, don't you Jacqui?

This numpty has got to go.

MS issues brown alert over unpatched IE 7 flaw

Suggested workarounds to defend against the flaw...

How about "ditch IE, pick another browser, ANY other browser"