Posts by dervheid

NASA's Phoenix braces for Sunday touch-down

"Do a Beagle"

Brilliant!

Hope this lands OK.

And rthat our future Martian overlords don't get TOO pissed off.

Ofcom pulls plug on wholesale broadband regulation

The shlooping sound in the background...

is the sound of the shit hitting the fan.

This'll be a disaster for consumers in the (not too) long run, I think.

Hello Kitty gets claws into UK electronics

NO!

Just NO!

Amazon.com: Now with 50% less cockfighting

Get...

your cock's out of here!

It's da Cops!

Temp workers to get equal rights after 12 weeks

This'll bring a new meaning...

to the phrase "Short-Term contract"

What a fuck-up.

Mobiles help UK malls track shoppers' every move

O.K. Enough already.

I give up. Just come and chip me now.

Might as well.

Vendor pitches handheld phone-data extractor

Ooh, I'd be scared...

If I were them!

They've GOT to be treading on a few trade names (CSi for one, and they've called their software DS LITE! That's bound to interest Ninty)

If you could use this device WITHOUT having to plug it into the target device, then I'd see the point. But as you actually have to plug it into the target, what'd stop you just downloading it to a laptop, as presumably the owner is going to have to be unaware of the snooping anyway.

Bloody Poinless device. will sink without trace. (even beyond the scope of CSi)

BSA dubs Manchester second worst for piracy

Oxymoron here...

"definitive evidence from trading standards or the HMRC"

Overly optomistic morons there!

Note to BSA. Cheaper original software = less piracy.

Paris, as I'd imagine, like any woman, she (probably) loves a bargain.

Yorkshire police head off pillow fight anarchy

Shit scared...

after the blue-nosed invasion of Manchester. Only be a problem if there was going to be 'big screen' coverage that mysteriously went tits-up just before the off.

Bloody killjoys.

The Moderatrix: Exclusive boudoir snap

@ Sarah (Moderatrix?) Bee

Promises.

Promises.

Just one question though.

HOW SOON? ;P

That's not even slightly scary!

The Moderatrix will have to be WAY more intimidating than that.

Now, go and try again.

Activist coders aim to deafen Phorm with white noise

Nice Idea...

but I have to agree with J.A.T.

Only way to kill Phorm (and others like them) is to starve them of cash.

If it could be proven to work against ALL the little leeches though...

Paris, coz she looks like she's intercepting someone's data in the picture!

BOFH: The PFY's comeuppance

:-D

Brilliant!

'Crazy rasberry ants' target Texan tech

We always knew...

the fucking ants would take over the world!

Google Translate speaks in (more) tongues

@ chris hawkins

which is fine and dandy if, like you, you can speak these languages, and therefore can phrase the input language to get the desired result. Smartarse.

Unfortunately, the less linguistically talented majority of users (yes, I'd be one of those, smattering of school French / Spanish from MANY years ago) will just have to put up with the gibberish.

I'd like to see them translate "Late Saturday Night Drunken Glaswegian" into English.

Now THERE'S a challange.

American cable giant joins data pimping club

Bullshit..

"an enhancement coming soon to your web browsing experience"

Utter Bullshit!

Life a mess? The Moderatrix can help

Who...

moderates the Moderatrix?

Or should the question really be; Who would DARE moderate the moderatrix?

The one with "Whip me mistress!" and "Thank you, may I have another?" on the back.

Phones 4u accused of misleading customers

It's just another symptom...

of how easy it is to get any form of credit, and how DUMB the younger end of the population generally are when it comes to anything financial or legal/contractual.

Neighbourhood Watch 2.0: Your tensions are being monitored

So, it's true then.

The Lunatics HAVE finally taken over the Asylum.

"And if the dam breaks open many years too soon

And if there is no room upon the hill

And if your head explodes with dark forbodings too

I'll see you on the dark side of the moon"

Orwell was right, he just got the date about 30 years too early.

Dixons admits 'it's even worse than you thought'

The problem is...

that these stores have become little more than glorified showrooms for a large portion of the populace.

For my own part, if I'm buying a new electrical item, I'll do my research on line, and create a comparison list. Then it's off to the local retail parks, mooching around all the retailers (Comet, Curry's,PC World etc) to get a 'real world' look at the shortlist, then I'll make my selection. Obviously, if I can get it cheaper on line, factoring in delivery cost and convenience, then it'll be an on-line purchase. It's not often that the stores beat the on line pricing. I've even had the experience of quoting their own 'on-line price' in the store and asking them to match it, then being refused. My reaction - I take my money elsewhere. If DSGI want to survive, then the instore pricing has to match up to the on-line pricing AND be competitive at that level.

BTW, I Do Not Want to be offered an 'extended warranty' every time I buy something. By all means send me the offer via snail / email later, but my reaction in-store will always be "no thanks".

Vatican star watcher says aliens may be out there

Just...

covering all the bases. (With the possible exception in the case raised by Mark T)

UK.gov solves pensioner crisis by wiring them up to the net

The Matrix...

mark 1.

Oh, the joys of getting old.

How ComScore can track your mouse clicks

This makes...

Phorm (spits in corner) look like a bunch of johnny-come-lately amateurs!

BTW, I do not think we are "sleepwalking in to a survelliance society".

Oh No.

Were there already!

This IS the nightmare!

Set-top box modders sent to prison

Can't...

really be bothered to comment on this. They must have tried REALLY hard to cover their trail!

No doubt there'll be plenty more sites out there offering this sort of 'advice' I'm sure.

Ho Hum.

DWP still sending out passwords and discs together

It's almost as if...

they were doing it on purpose!

Shome Mishtake Shurely!

Even 'SHE' would know better, methinks.

Windows XP SP3 sends PCs into endless reboot

So...

continuous loop rebooting isn't actually "significantly change(ing) customers' experience with the operating system"

Micros**tspeak for "this'll maybey make you wish you'd upgraded to vista, you ingrates"

No, it won't. It'll just make me disable auto updates, which might not be such a bad thing after all. (Please, don't patronise me by pointing out the 'risks' of not keeping up to date with the security patches, I'll take that over the risk of SP3 ta very much!)

And they wonder why people are pissed off with them.

BOFH: Shiny new computer room

Bloody...

marvellous!

Swiss ponder the 'dignity of plants'

Truly...

the world IS going to hell on a hand cart.

This is political correctness gone mentally disturbed.

Surely for any organism to be capable of comprehending a state of dignity, it would have to be fully sentient and self aware.

Which, would qualify most vegetables as celebrities, or have I got that the wrong way round?

Then again...

if we DO have to consider the dignity of plants, that'll be all the rabid lentil-munching vegetarians/vegans TOTALLY buggered for food then!

BONUS!!

I want a baby, coos broody Paris Hilton

Surely anyone...

who's still going around calling himself "Benji" isn't really mature enough to be a father? (Who the fuck IS Benji Madden anyway?) Sounds like the kind of name you'd give your kid's dog.

Maybe they should televise the conception, and if perchance a fatal freak accident were to befall them during coitus, then we'd have a loveley Double Darwin!

Not to mention another sure-fire internet video hit! (that'll be the IT angle then!)

BT Fusion rises again

It's not exactly...

what you'd call cheap then, is it. Not with just a poxy 50 minutes and 50 texts for your £24. Or was that a typo. If it was 500 of each, then it'd be in the ballpark with the other networks.

But then again, if that is the package, BT clearly think the public are all mugs <cough>'Phorm' </cough>

Memo to BT.

We're NOT all mugs.

Jacqui Smith un-downgrades cannabis

Short term memory loss...

appears to be a problem here today people.

Or didn't anyone bother to check out the earlier story, with reference to the 'violence suppressing' effects of the weed!

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/07/iphone_asassination/

Or is it just the Canadians?

Rogue MP3 Trojan streaks across P2P networks

Oh...

dear, oh dear, oh dear!

Are the poor little 'Freetards' having a bad day?

Hard to resist a little snigger.

So I won't!

Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk!

Maybe it was planted by one of the music companies? Who knows?

Independent dubs El Reg lesbian

All publicity...

is good publicity. So they say.

It's just a shame the 'Phorm' story isn't getting the same coverage!

Of course, if it were to involve some 'girl-on-girl' action, as opposed to just another "big business screws joe public" scenario, then maybe they'd get interested.

Phorm in phormulaic logo phorm storm

Take 'em to...

the phucking cleaners!

Is the earth getting warmer, or cooler?

People are easier to control.

Spot On!

In the past, when the peasants were less educated, religion sufficed as a means of keeping them in line (be a good boy/girl in this miserable existance, then enjoy the life everlasting)

But there are way fewer people for whom this approach will work. New 'religion' required.

Voila!

Climate Change / Global warming / Carbon Culture.

Misinformation. Fear. Panic. Spanish Inquisition!

Reasearch Councils?

and they would get their funding from...?

That'd be the government?

That'd be our taxes?

That'd be independant?

Surely a long term trend

(100 years) would be more useful to analyse than the last 10 years

Maybe, but then you'd have to expand that approach and go back, say, 10 000 years, or maybe 100 000. Pity we don't have actual recorded data. All we can do is analyse some ice and tree cores and attempt to extrapolate data from those analyses, based on current recorded conditions. That allows us to theorise about historical data/trends, not prove them.

No Controversy...

"The joke is that for people who actually work in the area, there *is* no controversy"

Or would that be a 'vested interest' perhaps (like no climate change/global warming; no job)

Part of good science is to challenge the validity of data. This 'rotation' seems to challenge the validity of that data.

This seems to be...

covered by one of yesterday's posts:

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please". Mark Twain

Earth gets warmer (people panic)

Earth gets cooler (people panic)

Earth gets warmer (people panic)

Earth gets cooler (people panic)

Surprise surprise!

Perhaps another of the great man's quotes might be appropriate here too;

"Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising."

Hmmm.

No-fly list grounds US Air Marshals

As has already been posted elsewhere...

terrorists 1; sanity 0

Why doesn't the US just shut it's borders, both pysical and virtual, (after recalling all its troops) and let the rest of us get on with our lives without them. They're no longer the economic powerhouse of the world (that'd be China.) and given a short time I'm sure we could learn to live without their interference.

Flame away!

Legal blow to secret government lobbying

Transparency in Government?

And have the peasants being able to see what they were up to?

Not bloody likely, methinks!

Your personal data just got permanently cached at the US border

One of the fathers...

of the USA is attributed this quote:

"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both."

Benjamin Franklin.

How right he was. (not just applicable to the USA BTW)

Shell pulls out of Thames Estuary mega-windfarm

20 seconds is a long time...

especially if you're a bit late 'hitting the button', and you end up with a lovely brown out.

BTW, was that from fully off-line, all valves closed, or what? (yes, I know that's not a normal state for a hydro station) and does that also include sychronisation with the grid?

Oh Joy there's more now...

Steve.

I've posted some of these figures before.

The local Coal-fired station to us produces 2600MWatts. (and granted a LOT of SHIT)

The 'array' of 341 windmills, 1000MWatts (but 'clean')

Dave Errington

"The turbines on the farm go round and round, round and round, round and round all day long. Much like the wheels on the bus in fact."

No, they don't. Not if there's not enough, or worse still, too much wind (See exploding wind turbine vids). But I do agree they look good.

JonB.

No crystal ball here mate, pretty much like everyone else on this planet. I agree on the need to secure our energy needs, just don't think windmills are tha way ahead by any means. Nuclear, now there's your answer.

"Lies...

damned lies, and statistics!"

Samuel Langhorne Clemens

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. "

Mark Twain

Guess what folks, this is what both sides of the arguement are doing.

The man was a freaking genius.

Weatherproof / flame resistant with removable lining, suitable for any climate!

Another coward...

with apparently little or no engineering appreciation

"large scale on-demand hydro"

You cannot just 'turn on' a "large scale" hydro power station. Or any other power station, of any kind!

And you called ME a DICK?

BTW, we back-pump water into reservoirs overnight. You know why, it's to maximise the usage from nuclear generation, by storing it as kinetic energy! Good, eh!

Go do some PROPER engineering.

Bingo!!

(at least) Three this time!

Fishing is good at this time of year!

#1) Nope, right Icon. Stop hiding behind the "A.C." posting.

#2) Not really, but it gets YOUR attention.

"Actually, global warming isn't a myth: and wind power is a viable part of the future energy mix."

Not been proven yet either!

The figures for 'real' output from wind turbines make them, IMHO, pretty useless, unless you want to carpet the entire country with the buggers. Fine by me, but it might bother quite a few people who would rather have scenic views.

#3) If you really were that bothered, you'll have read the reports already / know where they are (try the BBC news website, but before the raving loonies have the story changed/withdrawn, or the "Telegraph" website)

BTW I think you'll find that the "thousands of trained scientists who agree that climate change is very much a reality and happening right now" is actually a considerably smaller number. No point in accusing others of immaturity if your going to exaggerate your own numbers to try and make a point.

Same icon as before!

Complete...

WASTE OF TIME!

WIND POWER IS NOT A VIABLE, RELIABLE ALTERNATIVE, NOR SUPPLIMENT.

PLEASE CEASE FLOGGING THESE DEAD HORSES

BTW. It appears that global temperatures are expected NOT TO RISE over the next decade, according to reports today. Coupled with the reports that say they haven't actually risen for the last decade, this would tend to indicate that

GLOBAL WARMING IS A MYTH

perpetrated by Governments and big businesses alike in order to screw yet more money out of Joe Public for hair-brained schemes like this one!

Watchdog bares teeth at mobile premium rate scams

Watchdog bares teeth?

Those'll be the 'joke' chattering ones then!