Posts by dervheid

TSA says 'checkpoint friendly' laptop bags on the way

"won't be any confusion"

Why? Are they going to employ inspectors that actually HAVE a brain, AND know how to use it? Cuz the trolls they currently use display NO hint of intelligence.

The one being rifled at the security check-point.

Schwarzenegger seizes Tesla Motors plant for California

@ 'crap tax'

There's lots of those already my friend (IR35, Income Shifting, VAT on fuel duty, VED etc, etc, etc...)

Maybe for now...

"the tremendous user economy of electric cars - in the UK, currently equivalent to slashing your petrol bill by 90 per cent - is looking more and more impressive."

But you can bet that if the motoring masses switched over to electric vehicles (and let's face it, it's not really likely to happen, is it), then our dear beloved leaders would soon hike up the taxes all round, and no-one would be better off, nor would the environment (unless we can source cleaner electricity. <cough>nuclear! </cough>)

Tiwi spies on your children, so you don't have to

"part driving instructor, part mentor, part guardian angel"

Surely that's the role of a 'responsible parent'.

If you can't trust your kid with your car (or any car) without the use of this then you've probably not excelled as a parent then.

French gear up for biofuels retreat

Another knee-jerk policy...

bites the dust.

Given that the only current economically 'viable' source of biofuel is to use land that should be used to grow food, this was a no-brainer from the start.

We live in "Interesting Times" indeed.

T-Mobile not alone in spinning price hikes

They've not completely ignored OFCOM

They've made a variety of single and double digit gestures, coupled with the phrase "Up your's Ofcom!"

Business as usual then.

iPhone will ship in green packaging

Can it be cut up...

and deep fried though.

As a Scot, I have to know. May end up on the menu at the local chippy.

Wind power key to UK's desperate renewable energy bid

Going to Hell...

on a hand cart, 'powered' by the wind!

I'm now (eagerly) waiting for the slap you promised me Sarah!

8P

Cambridge congestion charge plans shelved

@ jamie

A very nice piece of nonsensical spiral thinking, eventually disappearing up it's own rectum.

I do hope you have some idea of WTF you are talking about, because I'm buggered if I do!

Ms. Hilton, as she appears to talk more sense than you.

ICO slaps TfL over Oyster data hoard

Mind your blood pressure there dangermouse!

You're in danger of becoming that which you profess to detest!

Dell debuts designer laptop line

Just another example...

of "Rip-off Britain"

BTW it's "Boycott" not "Bouycot". I suggest you add a dictionary (or should that be dicksionary) to your browser, Jamie!

Europe acts on mobile charges

"Or am I missing some vital piece of high level economics"

Almost certainly!

Spain plans 'human rights' for great apes

Better protection...

for your average hairy, pot-bellied, skinhead drunken Engurlander then. Oft seen on the 'Costa del Sol', complete with dragging knuckles and barely understandable gibberish.

Asda declares baby's arse 'pornographic'

Political correctness...

in extremis.

Not only did common sense depart these shores upon the arrival of said madness, so did the nation's humour.

I think we have now become more miserable than the Belgians. (sorry Belgium)

Knight Rider satnav spied in the wild

Not buying this...

wouldn't want it even if they paid ME. The most embarrassing car accessory ever. Okay, second then, after 'musical' air horns.

Ofcom chairman will quit next Easter

Not the point.

"Vote with your money, if you are unhappy about BT using Phorm, move to another ISP."

If Phorm et al get away with this, you can rest assured that the overwhelming majority of ISP's will jump on the bandwagon sooner or later. More likely sooner.

"Fat Cat" icon required. Or just a good old "£" , or "$" if you must.

(other currencies are available. consult your financial parasite)

Expected improvement...

absoluely ZERO!

joke Icon - Joke regulator!

Staff internet policies must be Facebook-ready, warns expert

Words of advice?

like;

"Stop being a TWAT, you're supposed to be a responsible law enforcement officer."

or;

"Don't do it again, you dickhead"

Veteran climate scientist says 'lock up the oil men'

@ Mark

"Because you're an ignorant twat who is trying to rubbish people who don't believe what you want them to."

the words "Pot", "Kettle" and "Black" spring to mind here.

Ah, Mr. Scott Nudds

Drop anchor and cease trolling, you fuckwit.

@ Mark

"Earth warms up. Earth warms up.

Now, see that the CYCLE is broken?

No, of course you don't. The colon is getting in the way."

Sorry, which colon would that be then?

Oh, right. That'd be YOUR colon. Which you should have irrigated. You'll feel way less tense than you clearly are. And less full of s...

<Comment courtesy of Twat-O-Tron, edited for the sensitive soul>

Earth warms up...

earth cools down...earth warms up...earth cools down...earth warms up...earth cools down.

Earth's climate CHANGES! It's been happening cyclically for BILLIONS of years people. Just try to get your tiny minds around the concept, then find yourself another nouveau religion to latch on to!

Boris' crime map plan comes unstuck

So, let me get this straight...

BJ wants to produce a map showing crime statistics (on balance, likely to be considered a 'Good Thing'), the ICO starts bleating on about "victims' privacy and possible data protection issues".

BT and Phorm conduct extremely dubious software tests involving massive unsolicited monitoring of thousands of peoples internet connection without getting their permission or informing them they were going to do this (on balance, likely to be considered a 'Bad Thing'), and the ICO does sweet fuck all.

Is it any wonder people think these c**ts are all corrupt to the core!

Icon, as the ICO is a joke!

Force listeners onto DAB by killing FM

The only bit of this that makes any sense...

is when you get to the statement "for Ofcom to start selling off the frequencies"

Once again the prols will get (and take) a shafting so someone somewhere can make (another) fast buck.

Ex-Logica boss to teach UK.gov how to identify crap IT

It's crap if...

it's anything with a *gov.uk* domain. Or ANYTHING to do with the government.

Lesson over.

Can I have my (hugely extortionate,(probably)) fee now please.

Leeds thieves target Ford Focus chips

The stuff of legend...

It would appear that Leeds is vying for the title "UK's Dumb Criminal Capital"

Enraged devil dog lover locks on to Reg photo team

@ Dog Licences

Good Idea Math. In principle anyway. Problem is, with gov.uk being so 'on-line' these days, that's where you'd be able to get your Mutt Permit, and, as NO-ONE ever tells porkies when filling in this kind of thing on line, this system will easily weed out all the maladjusted arseholes who really shouldn't have a dog, of any kind.

No, sorry, my mistake, it won't.

Flirty texting could land Scots in jail for 10 years

It must sound like a good idea...

but it sounds like the ideal weapon for the 'bunny boiler' ex girlfriend / boyfriend /wife / husband / civil partner to use in cases of acrimonious break-ups.

"If you leave me now, I'll show them all the smutty texts you sent. Ooooh No, off to jail you'll go!"

Hearts in the right place, heads up arses when it comes to understanding human nature. Slight improvement to one problem, massive new one caused.

Nokia N78

@ Cheap Converter

Looked at those already. Not quite the same though, is it, having to dick around taking the 'phones out to answer a call. I've just checked out the new headset on the nokia website and the bugger's only got a 3.5mm plug. Looks like I'll have to get the sharp knife and soldering iron out after all.

Nice legs, shame about...

the "cheap plastic". Why do they always have to spoil a potentially great product that way ( I love the metal casing in my 6500 slide). Not to sure about the 'bendy' front either. I'm an old fashioned 'real buttons' type of bloke.

Like the fact that you can swap out the headphones on the headset for your preferred pair. About time Nokia came up to date there. Might look to buy the headset for this one if it's compatible with the 4 way 2.5mm on my current phone, coz the earphones on the headset suck bigtime.

Net addiction a 'clinical disorder', says US shrink

So Fuck What.

Beats workin' any day of the week. (Both ways!)

Preachers caught squatting in white spaces

Be careful...

what you wish for!

British Columbia stray foot tally hits six

Must be coming from...

"Foot Locker"

Could pen-sized GPS jammers paralyse UK shipping?

Bullshitting & Scaremongering...

is how anything Gov.uk wants to get done that might be;

Expensive. or

Controversial. or

Of questionable 'benefit' to the nation. (ie 42 days detention without charge)

So no change there then.

Phorm failed to mention 'illegal' trials at Home Office meeting in 2007

And they wonder why...

we're paranoid?

It all smacks of the mother and father of cover ups. It may be the case that Phorm 'forgot' to mention the trials at the meeting in order to provide a line of "plausable deniability" at the Home Office. Possibly.

Or possibly not.

T-Mobile doubles 0870 call costs

Here's a better idea...

Why the fuck don't OFCOM ban the use of these stupid "non geographic" numbers altogether?

Then the rip-off's being carried out by companies, call centres and even some GP's surgeries will stop!

Or is that just too fucking SIMPLE for the half-wits at OFCOM?

(Rant over, pills kicking in nicely now, ah.......)

WANKERS!

Utter ones!

Firefox 3 Download Day falls flat on face

SLOW...

Just had 5 attempts to download, like being back on dial-up

Brown pledges annual commons debate on surveillance

What a techno-fuckwit...

he is!

So GB interprets “many people now have laptops activated by finger-scans.” as "people think fingerprinting everyone is a Good Thing".

No Gordon.

“many people now have laptops activated by finger-scans.”

means that people are now more PERSONALLY security concious, that's all.

Say it often enough though, and the media will start to believe it. Once you've convinced them...

Malware not man blamed in child abuse download case

@RickyTheRiot

"targeting this person specifically"

Where in the story did you read that the 'malware' was doing this?

Personally, I'd like the fullest details of whatever 'malware' was involved in this. It's the LEAST amount of information that should come out of this case, as this crap could be infecting thousands of otherwise innocent people.

As for "fake such things to look like an arbitrary 3rd party is responsible". Sure, I imagine it's possible, but how many people could do that without leaving ANY kind of evidence? Could you?

Besides, if the pages were never accessed, then what'd be the point of doing all that, except to shit on someone from a VERY great height. This is currently the most 'heinous' crime in the eyes of the media (and therefor the mindless mob of 'humanity'), even more than mass murder. I'm not defending child p*rn in any way whatsoever, and those who ARE involved DO deserve to be put away for a very long time. What is wrong, however, is this worrying shift from "Innocent until proven Guilty" to, as Graham Marsden points out, "Guilty unless YOU can prove YOUR Innocence" Society is embarking on a very dark and dangerous path, of "lynch mob" 'justice', whipped up by a mass media frenzy.

Microsoft ga ga over Goo-Hoo! deal

Talk about the pot...

calling the kettle black!! (Note, this is a TRADITIONAL saying, no racial connotations are intended!)

Now, I'm not suggesting that this hook-up is a 'good thing' by any means, but seriously, BG & Co, you are in NO position to make this kind of comment.

Cambridge woman in £90m 'leccy bill shocker

Fuckwits...

just complete, total and utter fuckwits.

NY street-cleaning truck swallows dog

OooH!...

That's gonna cost NYC serious bucks, methinks.

IBM 'advises' staff to opt for a Microsoft Office-free world

@ Standards

All too true.

All the clients of the consultancy I do work for use Office, so it's all gotta be that way. The only time it ain't, is if something gets changed into a locked-down pdf so's it can't get altered.

It's THIS 'monopoly' that's MS's biggest 'asset' now.

The 'windows' can be broken (frequently are anyway!), but the 'office' stays safe, for now anyway.

Phoenix eats dirt

Have they had...

a helping hand from our good friend, amanfrommars?

We need to be told.

UK civil servant leaves Top Secret Iraq war intelligence documents on a train

Hmmm...

A security 'leak' and a controversial 'security' vote all on the same day.

How utterly convenient.

Cotton Traders mauled by hackers

"Police are investigating the case"

That'll be a bloody novelty then!

Dissolving the plastic bag problem

Great article...

needs promoting.

Only one but. Are these poly-bag-munching bugs safe?

Seen some stuff on phages before, not surprised that 'Big Pharma' would try to get in the way there.

Vested interests and big bucks rule yet again.

Ofcom swoops on caller ID-faking firm with... request for information

"We've contacted BT for a view on Spookcall, but it hasn't gotten back to us."

Given the currently 'frosty' state of El Reg's 'relationship' with BT, do you think they ever will?

Or at least some time prior to the next Ice Age in Hell!

US bars ID refuseniks from planes - but not ID losers

@ UK has one real saving grace

You are falling into the same trap as Mr. Wiernicki.

The incompetence of the current (or future) 'Government' is irrelevant.

It's the Civil Servants we should be worried about. They're the ones really running the country / countries.

They're the ones you don't see, pushing all the 'little bits of paper' around that actually get things done / enacted. They're the ones who dot the i's and cross the t's and can change the meaning of something with a well placed comma or apostrophe.

They're the ones that come up with absurdities like this, so that it looks like a half-arsed cock up, so that when some 'bright spark' of a politician or journalist starts braying about how stupid this is, when the 'desicion' is made to go to the "No ID = No Fly" model, all the sheeple nod in agreement with a hearty "commen sense prevails, now we're safer" cheer!

Eroding your 'freedom', drip by drip by drip.