* Posts by James

143 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Dec 2007


UK Communist website abused by Chinese hackers



It uses silverlight?

It's bad enough that none windows users can't use itvplayer let alone find out what the communists will do for us if we vote for them!

Who will win the epic battle for the kitchen OS?

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I can't believe no one has suggested it yet:

All you need is a pen. [http://www.amazon.co.uk/P50-Black-Cristal-Ball-Pens/dp/B000SHSJNK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=officeproduct&qid=1244166317&sr=8-1]

A blank recipe book/lined paper

And a note pad [http://www.thekitchenoutlet.com/home.php?cat=9]

And if you want to make a calls a landline.

Try to beat the above tried and tested (probably for hundreds of years -the phone) method for speed and efficiency. And happiness when it doesn't break or there is a power cut.

And for a modern day twist add a laptop. You can take it with you to the sitting room then or anywhere.

Cloud power harnessed to dump unwanted Mac apps

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Just a pity that the above commenter's don't realise that not every article is written for them. It's like the sports section of the paper, I bet that they don't like that either.

Microsoft, Asus launch anti-Linuxbook campaign


The site

just looks shit!

And how small are the EEEEEEEEEEE resolutions? The screen is at least a third bigger than windows seemed to be using on those netbooks.

World's first electric jet ski surfaces

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It's funny reading the comments for and against these things. No one on the for or against side begins to listen to the other.

"100% silent=extremely dangerous" Probably not, it's not like it's the job of the swimmers to move out of the way anyway (even if they could duck under it in time). And noise that boats make underwater is not directional to our ears so you have no idea where it is coming from in the first place.

100% silent=peace... but still fun when you hire one!

Google punts self cut-and-paste

Black Helicopters


But I will try to avoid using the Google elements on my website. There is almost no popular website (English language anyway) that one can go to now a days (The Register included!) and not load elements from google (eg. Analytics.) and I don't like that.

Call it paranoia, but no one entity should be allowed to know everything, even if it is convenient!

BNP DDoS 'mega-assault' not actually mega in the least



This sounds like a child telling mum about their sibling teasing them only lying to get more sympathy and get the sibling in more trouble.

Ignorant tossers.


Water utility auditor resigns, transfers $9m offshore

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@Pete, first post.

Thumbs up. Stick it to the man (Register).

Facebook value plummets $5bn

Paris Hilton

@Scott 23:42

"Some people will never tire of this, they're the ones with all the cellphones in the movie theaters and restaurants."

I can't agree with you more. My girlfriend is one of these... and she's how old??? Although I've trained her not to use it when I'm around but I can see her wince every time it bleeps or whistles, desperate to get her hands on it.

Apple counts $1bn for mystery data center


@ Nate Amsden, first post

Cue the religious war no one really cares about...

I've got my own computer (unspecified), I like it so fuck you corporate religious bum toys.

iPhone apps - the 10 smartest and the 10 stupidest

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The prices in dollars? Really?

YouTube flooded with porn



But it says something of our times when beatings and hangings are considered normal but sex is horrific and EVIL.

Especially on films, killing can be frequent and it can be a 12A or somesuch but a (relatively) soft sex scene is WOAH 18.

US military shows off hack-by-numbers battlefield gadget

Black Helicopters

Sounds like

The adverts for Confused.com et al...

"A sliding lever can be moved to increase an attack or dial it down to reduce collateral damage."

Taking a first bite out of Wolfram Alpha



It's an interesting concept. It does struggle at the moment with a lot of inputs but that should get better over time as it begins to take over the world and all it's information like Another Large Search Engine Beginning with G(TM).

I can certainly see the possibility of using this product inside corporations, insurance companies and the like. Type in a post code and see a list of claims made with age data and number of acts of god since 1984 etc.

Perhaps this could be fed with ContactPoint data? An enterprising individual in the gov could make a fortune selling to the Paedophiles/Daily Mail information on streets with the highest densities of vulnerable female/male children under the age of 6 who like sweets...

ContactPoint goes live despite security fears



Am I right in saying they are allowing CHARITIES access? What the fuck?


Aren't charities just concerned members of the public? (albeit more organised and better funded)

The Great Spotify Mystery


"Most are 30 to 50..."

"Most are 30 to 50, and are using it for rediscovering music"

My god, this is true. My dad rang me a month or so ago and said "have you seen Spotify?"

"What?" I asked.

"Spotify" he said "Like iTunes but you can listen to anything for free with very occasional ads. You should download and try it."

What the... Where did he discover this? I hadn't even heard of it. Not that I've tried it yet, though I probably should if my dad likes it...

Beeb tech boss seeks to expand TV licence online



Those aren't commercial adverts. If they weren't shown how would you know what Ashes to Ashes was etc.? They take up all of 30 secs, if that, between programming as opposed to a commercial break.

@James Greenhalgh - I bet if we were to observe your viewing (and listening) habits you would watch and listen to far more than you would dare admit to on a BBC bashing article.

People seem to forget the service the BBC gives us. Without the BBC the broadcasting standards in this country would fall through the floor. Think Sky and the incessant 5 minute advert breaks.

Think that the iPlayer wouldn't have been developed so soon and that the ITVplayer, 4OD, and Demand Five are all responses to the BBCs development.

Radio without those annoying adverts. Programmes not particularly commercially viable or risky like the large nature series filmed over 5 years etc.

Its not that simple that the BBC should become a public company. If the license fee was abolished what to replace it with? Tax like in Australia? This would reduce admin and collection costs certainly.

Yorkshire boozer establishes 'smoking research centre'

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@ Andy Gibson

Amen. Our local Tavern is jam packed half of the time and there is ne'er a telly to be seen. Pubs with tellys ruin the atmosphere apart from when big matches are on and you go to a Wetherspoons. Everyone is consantly looking at the screen even if they don't want to. It's distracting.

I love the smoking ban (so do most of my mates and the ones quitting). Don't have to wash my clothes after every night and its nicer. It's all well and good saying it's a nanny state and all that, limiting your freedom of choice etc. etc. but you never gave us non-smokers a choice before the ban.

Google suffers international outages, slowdowns



First time I used Yahoo in ages too.

Browncasting: Why can't Downing Street do digital?


To be Fair

I'm not surprised comments are blocked on the 10 downing street videos.

The demographic who use Youtube, or rather comment on Youtube, appear to have heads filled with jelly. The most praise one would seem to get is LOLZ^^. Other than that it seems to be along the lines of "U faggot" replied with "WHO U CALLIN FAGGOT, DIK CHEEZ?".

Meet Phorm's PR genius



Does it offer anything to me? No.

Does it improve my quality of life? No.

Does it make tea? No.

Then why the fuck would I support it? It's a parasite that tries to make money from what I do and offers nothing in return apart from 'targeted advertising' for me to buy expensive things that I don't need anyway.

Privacy Pirates? I think the use of the term pirates to describe copyright violators is a bit flimsy but for phorm to call someone who doesn't like phorm or who likes their privacy a pirate is just the weakest thing. Come on now, think of something original.

NASA micro-satellite eyes space bacteria


@Glauro Campello

Was that a joke? Did you really just say that?

Swedish factory fined $3,000 for robot attack


@ Here's a dramatization

"By Anonymous Coward Posted Wednesday 29th April 2009 09:32 GMT


Here's a dramatization of how the attack might have happened.



Hahahaaaaaaa. That's hilarious. Though I thought it would have been more like:


DARPA at Phase 3 on solar powered surveillance strato-ship


Didn't the...

...Vietcong already perfect the tactics against this?

New Navy SEAL minisub's IT-system specs released



Would this be an option to get teams onto high profile ships (eg. Sirius Star) to potentially free them from pirates?

eg. sail(?) to the ship in distress undetected underwater and use some climbing gear to get up.

Cable-cutting vandals disconnect Silicon Valley

Black Helicopters


It would be a safe bet that China and or Russia and possibly Korea and Iran (though probably not) know the locations of these links and spend a lot of resources making sure that they know the locations of them. It would probably also be a safe bet that the US/Europe knows the locations of the others links.

In the event of Wars on Stuff these would be high priority (and effective) targets. Pity you can't really defend them as they snake through farmers fields and the like...

Microsoft conjures imaginary 'Apple Tax'


Honestly? RWAR?

I can't understand the religious wars people get into over their computers. Its a piece of silicon with some shit stuck to it that makes it do other shit. Really, that's it.

It's your choice if you use windows/mac/linux/BSD and for your own reasons, price might be one, style and functionality might be others.

Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, that some product or other (not just a computer) is not aimed at YOU and that you AREN'T the target market?

Clearly there is a (big) market for Apple things or they wouldn't be here. Same for windows. Would each of the OS fanatics above and below prefer that their choice of OS should be the only one available and be forced upon the rest of us?


- Not everyone wants to play games or use winamp

- Not everyone can afford to pay £2000 for a computer or use Final Cut Pro 6

- Not everyone wants to mess around with partitions or open sourcey things

- Not all of us want what YOU want.

Who snapped first?

Paris Hilton

@AC 15:22

"Er no, it gives the police more reason not to allow the public own cameras, have freedom of speech etc etc. It''s incidents like this that erode our freedom not cause blushes amoungst [sic] the authorities."

So we should let the police get away with it if they kill someone so they don't take our cameras away? Huh? That doesn't make any sense to me.

<- Or am I being retarded..?

16 teams to field 24 e-bikes in 'zero-emission' TT race

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@Ian Entwistle

Change the tune.

Electricity generated in a power station is more fuel efficient than a million smaller combustion engines all giving off heat, vibrations and sound. Besides, electricity can and is often produced from renewables. In case you hadn't noticed.

Sounds like a good idea this race.

NASA: Clean-air regs, not CO2, are melting the ice cap



That article was based on art not science. One graph is all you give us? It's all very well labelling 1960something as being the date that clean air regulations came in.

That's also around the time Pamela Anderson was born (1st of July, 1967. I looked it up, honest). That must be the reason for this recent global warming! Stop the Press! I solved it!

iPhone's Wi-Fi problems cause heated speculation



Haha. What?

Apple eyes new-age iPhone answering machine


Who on earth...

...draws these things??? They need to hire some new artists I think.

BMW opens up to haptic car doors

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Sometimes I wonder. I think that people here read want they want to read rather than what is actually written on the page.

Leaked memo says Conficker pwns Parliament



It's all a big April fools joke, a message will pop up on all the computers saying Wiping Hard Drive........... and then go APRIL FOOLS!!!!! and uninstall it self. All without too much of a hitch.

Asus takes Lamborghini laptop out for a spin

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That is fit!

BBC Click paid cybercrooks to buy botnet

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Go BBC. Stop stirring El Reg.

I know you don't like them and all but thumbs up to the BBC. Who gives a shiny shit if it was on a US millitary computer, they did it from here and caused no damage. In fact they helped them out by identifying the computers they used.

Why do you write that ZOMG!!111! it may be on US mil computers when it would be more of a problem if it was on UK citizen computers.

The good book: How to bet better online


Successful betters/arbiters

Knowing a very(!) successful arbiter my self (not me I can't work that mental maths fast enough!) it is clear there is a lot of money swilling around on horse racing.

But people who constantly win are barred from bookies and my mate is no exception having been barred from most online bookies in the UK at least.

3D laser maths models of women's bodies produced


Still won't help

If women don't get properly fitted. Hopefully this might mean the end to girls wearing bigger bras than they can with a massive gap you could fit a mellon in.

Court rules airline secret security list is stupid


Shitty security anyway

I walked through security at an airport not more than a year ago, accidentally carrying fireworks in the pocket of my coat WITH a lighter in the other pocket. (Left there from bonfire night I think).

I walked straight through only realising when I looked over at the x-ray screen and saw them clear as day. This was one of those moments where you get a cold sweat. (I boarded the plane fine and resisted the temptation to kill anyone.)

Yet they won't let me take my half litre water bottle even though they let me down the lot in front of them and I can buy more bottles inside. There is absolutely no sane reason for this. It's just a knee jerk reaction for the Daily Mail ass rag readers and that ilk.

Swedish police claim massive anti-piracy bust

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"data equivalent to 16,000 movies."

"It’s understood the server contained data equivalent to 16,000 movies."


"It's understood the server contained data equivalent to 11200000 emails."

at 700MB a movie and 1MB an email.

If my mate is anything to go by this could all be porn.

Apple's Snow Leopard set for June 8?

Dead Vulture

Pedantic but

As this is a uk site is that not the 6th/8th of June?

DARPA orders 'Katana' monoblade nano-copter


Am i missing something?

Why the F*ck give it one blade?

Diagrammatically: ---() (the brackets being the helicopter and the hyphens the blades) as opposed to ---()--- ??????

Surely it would be much more manouverable/cheap/quiet/efficient/better?

'Lenny': Debian for the masses?


@Doug Glass

Too True. My dad is always complaining that the end users (lusers you call them) don't (can't) give a dogs arse about the OS and if you can configure XYZ in the command line or not.

Not everyone has the time or interest to spend learning and configuring some OS or other. What they want is to press this one big green button that does it all.

This is why Mac is getting so popular. Its generally more simple than Windows to do things like networking.

Its like me saying the new SPSS doesn't do ABC like it used to when the HUGE majority of people just want a fucking calculator to do 9x2 and don't care about normal distributions and the like.

Developers have to understand that their line of work is not everyone's line of work to become successful.

@John Sanders

"Thanks god no sane IT person pays attention to arguments like these, because computers are not cars you know.

If anyone followed your arguments computers would still be black and white terminals, and you won´t be ranting against the people who over the years make things possible."

No because some people may SPECIALISE in IT whereas others may SPECIALISE in Gynaecology. The IT boffin doesn't give a shit about the inner workings of his fantasy gf's Vagina and the Gynaecologist doesn't give a shit about the inner workings of IT.

MIT boffins fashion working plasma rocket from Coke can



That's a bulb in a coke can!

Pirate Bay supporters ram Swedish IFPI website


@ I Still Can't Wait

". . . until they succeed in destroying the content industry - and then hit the problem of any parasite that actually destroys it's host."

Music was around long before the recording industries invented themselves. It would take a lot more than erasing them to stop people making and distributing music.

People want music, therefore people will make it.

In whatever way is appropriate to the times. Companies, corporations and organisations come and go but everyone else moves on to the next best thing.Although they have a habit of wanting to be around forever.

Unix world braces for geekgasm


@Iam Me

Haha, me too.

Top Qinetiq raider to retire with vast treasure chest

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Sir??? Who suggested they gave him that?

Brits 'a bunch of yellow bastards', says irate Yank

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We can own guns


D'uh. Except who needs one? We farmers? Maybe, though its just for fun.

You only need one if the guy next door had one and you didn't like him. But wait, the guy next door doesn't have one...

Guns and chavs don't mix, so why make it easy for them to get one? People who need one or sport shoot can get a license for one easy enough. It's better to know who has the guns and to make people feel that they are on a register so they take responsibility.

Check it:


I think Americans are the yellow bastards.

Silverlight 3 and 4 to 'open up new areas' - Microsoft


Fucking Silverlight

From a mac user.

Google mistakes entire web for malware

Paris Hilton

Is this why

worldwide traffic to the BBC news site is 93% below normal? - as of time of posting