* Posts by Simon Painter

312 publicly visible posts • joined 20 Mar 2007


Salesforce turns website host

Simon Painter

@Ian Michael Gumby

Let's not forget the datacenter building, connectivity, power, cooling, switches, routers, infrastructure staff and monitoring; then add n+1 or n+2 redundancy to that lot.

There's more to running an enterprise site than hooking up a computer in your mom's basement.

Microsoft fans call for Opera boycott

Simon Painter


Nobody* cares.


* For specific values of nobody.

Chinese Green Dam pilfers open source too

Simon Painter


The problem with copyright is it's only copyright in countries which have copyright laws. Software licenses are basically toilet paper unless there are national laws to recognize their legitimacy.

Can't remember which company it was but I did read a lovely story about the Chinese buying a german rail system from a german company. They got a few trains and some track, a station or two and some signals. They decided they liked it but the germans were charging a shit load for more of it so they just got their engineers to measure and copy every single component.

Every single one.

They now have as much railway as they like and enough know how to make more.

Behind Microsoft's IE-free, Windows-for-Europe ploy

Simon Painter


When will everyone in the IT industry realise that people just don't give a flying fuck what browser they use?

They also don't really care what OS they use. They buy a computer and to them it's a package of hardware and software that does a bunch of stuff. Arguing which OS or browser is best is like telling Joe Sixpack he should buy one DVD player over the other because it has a certain chip in it that is better than the other one, so long as it plays DVDs he won't give a toss. Technically superior means nothing to most people so long as it does what it says on the can.

Pirate Party wins seat in European Parliament

Simon Painter

calm down, it's only an EU election

The BNP are a fringe party and serve no purpose other than to help guage the complex political barometer of UK politics. They had fewer votes than last time they stood in the EU elections and only got in because people now know that they can use these insignificant polls to register their protest vote or abstention. We are not being over run by facists and the next five years of EU politics will be very similar to the last five so let's all just calm down a little.

The mainstream parties could do with looking at the coherent parts of the BNP manifesto though, the lucid parts actually appeal to many of middle england and a party could gain a lot of votes if it could address the fears of middle england without dipping too far into abject racism (the Daily Mail reader, for example).

That aside, to put it in perspective the Monster Raving Looney have held more seats than the BNP ever have.

Simon Painter

@Mark Fenton

That's not far left, that's facism.

I hear that wikipedia is quite good for looking up complicated things that you don't understand.

Twitter fights celeb imposters with Verified Account scheme

Simon Painter
IT Angle


Is this a potential revenue stream I see before me? And there was us all hoping that Twitter would fold up pretty soon.

Air force pounds Philippine MILF lairs

Simon Painter


I shall be informing HR that the reason I have been googling 'Giving MILF a good pounding' at work is purely down to my love of being kept abreast (fnar fnar ) of current affairs.

Take-Two sues over death of Duke Nukem Forever

Simon Painter


Come on guys, get with the program. If take two get their way with the lawsuit they probably won't get much cash but they might stand a pretty good chance of getting their hands on the IP including the brand and any work done on the story line so far. They can then hand that to a *good* game developer who might turn out something half good.

I doubt we have seen the last of DNF because nobody knows how to cut their losses nowadays.

UK tech quango eyes 10Gbit broadband

Simon Painter


Of course by the feasibility study money will be used on lots of powerpoint bullshit and a nice office for the quango. Then they'll write some crappy report that has the same level of technical insight as digital fucking britain.

iPhone at war in iRaq

Simon Painter

@Johnboy Freeman

"Awesome use of OCO. I'm sure the "Terrorists", err... "persons with societal challenges" love that! Would the Democrats have their way, WW2 would be renamed a "minor international scuffle"."

Well "Overseas Contingency Operation" certainly sounds a lot better than "invasion of a sovereign nation" which is exactly what it was. There was no war on terror, just an excuse.

London cab & bus trials for satnav speed-governor kit

Simon Painter
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this is brilliant!

I want this in my car because this means I can just chuck a brick on the gas pedal and put my feet up because if anything goes wrong I can blame nanny.

Brown red in face after blusher found in cab

Simon Painter

no way...

So let me get this right; that's what he looks like _with_ makeup on? Where's the baboon's arse icon when you need one?

Oompa-Loompa v Tinky Winky: Shock scrap pic

Simon Painter
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And happy Friday to you all.

Bring on the trumpets!

UK gov squeezes 'best pricing' pledge from MS

Simon Painter

@switch to linux brigade


that is all.

Virgin Media cool on cable wholesale plans

Simon Painter
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this is a genius move...

1. Open up the wholesale network

2. Get other retailers to handle the dirty little customer sorts

3. Close down your own retail supplier

4. Screw the customers some more with traffic shaping, phorm etc without having to pick up the phone when the angry customers come a callin'

5. Profit

Oompa-Loompa and Tinky Winky cuffed for drunken brawl

Simon Painter

there is only one way to settle this...


ARIN heads off IP address land grab

Simon Painter
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a lot of green grass...

IP6 is not as important now that NAT is in general use, we have many many hosts on our network but rely on a handful of public addresses so if top left hand corner of the map (you know the map I mean - http://xkcd.com/195/ ) handed a few of their addresses back then things would be very different.

Study finds IT heads not interested in power saving

Simon Painter
IT Angle

Lost productivity maths?

I keep hearing the OCD brigade claiming that they are losing productivity while they wait two minutes for their machine to boot up. I would love to see the maths behind this because it smells like bull and is probably along the lines of the other power saving myths out there (like the one where it uses as much electricity to switch it on as to leave it running over night - total crap).

C'mon boys, let's see some hard numbers or we assume you are idiot sheep reciting a fallacy.

Bye bye BlackBerry mail

Simon Painter
IT Angle


"BlackBerry pioneered the idea of pushed e-mail, with an architecture based on a central server and a genuine-push mechanism based on notifications sent over the SMS channel. It was a clever idea, but is starting to look slightly dated now that most handsets are able to regularly poll for e-mail and data tariffs are cheap enough to let them. BlackBerrys still have some edge in corporate environments, but the functionality that made the system unique is now pretty-much ubiquitous."

Never worked in a corporate IT environment, have you? Show me a competitor that has the same breadth of central management and policy enforcement options and I will happily hand them my life savings as an investor. If I am letting someone out the door with data on a device then I want to know that I can enforce encryption, password policies, control what apps they load on it and wipe it if they lose it; that functionality is far from ubiquitous.

Until MS do Group Policy for Windows mobile smartphones there just won't be any competition in corporates.

iPhone you say?

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

That is all.

Cabinet Office stuck with creaking PCs for five years

Simon Painter

@AC 14:11

But if you have a computer for you left hand and a computer for your right hand then you had better network them so they each know what the other is doing...

..oh wait.

Microsoft's idea of Family Protection? Block Google

Simon Painter

Microsoft bashing non story...

Did the clearly unbiased slashdot reader (c'mon, slashdot ffs? you might as well just repost something from gates-haters.com) test google safesearch? Many people, charged with looking after kids, block normal google and only allow the safesearch. The proxy system that one LEA in the south east uses even silently redirects people who visit google and switches the safesearch to the highest level of filtering. That's not considered evil, just sensible.

Facebook vote a 'massive con trick' says privacy advocate

Simon Painter

democracy doesn't work

have you ever tried running one? people tend not to vote for what you want them to

Pirate Bay fans: Lay off our neo-Nazi Sugar Daddy

Simon Painter
Thumb Up

oh shit yeah...

now let's see the whole thing in playmobile

Pirate Bay loses trial: defendants face prison time, hefty fines

Simon Painter

it's the party line, Lee Jackson

"Downloading copyrighted material is stealing no matter how rich the company is you are stealing from. People are employed by these big companies, and when profits go down, innocent people loose jobs!"

It's not quite as simple as that.

Nobody has actually produced any evidence that people who watch pirated movies would actually pay for the movie if it was not available for free. There is anecdotal evidence that many people who swap files then go on to purchase the movie or music at a later date. An independent (and by that I mean not funded by the music industry OR the pro piracy lobby) study would be good news because it could help clear up some of these myths that are spread by both sides.

I categorically do not involve myself with any form of piracy however a good friend of mine, let's call him Simon Paynter, does and he told me that he has quite often purchased movies on DVD after watching a download and that he would never have purchased it if he hadn't seen the download first. He also tells me that he has bought music after hearing it for the first time on a swapped MP3. This is all just anecdotal but until someone actually does some solid research into the buying habits of the pirate masses the rest is just FUD and propaganda.

Jedi officers enlist with Scottish police

Simon Painter
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the register calendar

so it's friday again, right?

Virgin Media switches to Gmail

Simon Painter

whine whine whine

Other ISPs do exist you know.


Bucks village repels Street View spycar

Simon Painter
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Spot on and you beat me to it... all they have done is drawn attention to themselves. I think I might pop over there at the weekend with my camera and put the whole place on my blog.

BBC fined £150k over Manuelgate

Simon Painter
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one state funded organisation has given over some money to another state funded organisation

hard to see how anyone is going to lose sleep over that

Linux chief calls for FAT-free Microsoft diet

Simon Painter


"One who distributes a Windows driver for his FS along with his product?"

Nah, they don't want to do that because Joe Sixpack is too dumb to use a driver CD. They want stuff that you can plug in and it *just works*.

Jimbo Wales kills 'Google killing' Wikia Search

Simon Painter

april fool

Jimmy 'Claim the credit for everything' Wales admitting that one of his projects is not a resounding success? Surely that must be an april fool gag.

Microsoft kills MSN Encarta

Simon Painter

Google it

Could this be in part because any search string you type into google seems to come back with at least one top ten wikipedophile link?

Still no googlegood/googleevil icons.

Street View ghost spooks Cardiff medium

Simon Painter


right place for the time jumping spin off cast members to be loitering in costume

Profs design AK47-locating 'smart dust' helmets

Simon Painter

too cheap

Hang on, they are only asking for $1000 bucks from the pork barrel for this bit of jiggery pokery? The generals will laugh them out of the hot tub with that proposition. If they'd asked for a hundred thousand for each device while in an extended testing and ruguedisation phase which would involve the generals going to see demos in places like the Bahamas then they might be taken seriously. I can't imagine the other military contractors will take too kindly to these people offering a product that is relatively cheap and works well, it'll make the rest look bad.

Parents in dark about kids' school life

Simon Painter


All it takes is a teacher with email and the competence to use it (the latter is less likely than the former).

I regularly email my child's teacher and she is fairly good at responding and keeping me up to date. Ideally I would prefer it if these channels of communication were better advertised to parents and guardians as it took me quite a lot of effort to obtain his teacher's email address.

T-Mobile pushes consumer mail

Simon Painter

IMAP IDLE is no better than Active-Sync

IMAP IDLE is not push email in the same sense of the blackberry push mail as it requires a data connection initiated by the client to be active all the time. In that respect it's no better than Microsoft's Active-Sync that the jesus phone uses (oh yes, fanbois, did nobody mention to you that Apple needs Microsoft's help to do 'push').

True push email uses the cellular network to notify the handset when it needs to make a data connection. SMS messages are just slipped in amongst the normal command codes that the phone sends and receives when switching between base stations so the whole thing is a lot kinder to the battery than holding a GPRS or 3G data connection open all the time or polling constantly when there is no mail to collect.

Lights out, Britons told - we're running out of power

Simon Painter

Poor old Gordo

He shouldn't have bottled the election. If he'd called a snap election he might have actually won it, either that or been remembered as a good chancellor and an OK PM. Unfortunately while Tony is out there messing around in the Middle East he is left with the aftermath of a decade of making Tony look good.

Credit crunch - direct result of policies to defer a recession in 2001.

Energy crisis - direct result of not building any more power stations because they might be a little unpopular

Massive government debt - direct result of increased public spending and lowered taxes. Blowing a wad on the credit card without thinking of the repayments.

Can we get some grown ups in charge please?

Ericsson quickens up cable broadband

Simon Painter


It doesn't matter what speed the last mile is until the rest of the network is souped up. I have an excellent ISP who has invested in their network and so I can watch TV online (tvcatchup.com) and watch (legally) downloaded HD content (xbox live - takes about two minutes to buffer enough of a movie to start watching it in 1080 juicyness).

The freetards who use the other ISPs (think of the debt ridden Tiscali, ForceWhine, Virgin NTL Telewest Media and Sky 'Broad'band) may get similar last mile speed to me but if the rest of the network is made of thin strands of sh!t or the traffic is more rigorously shaped than Tony Hart's Morph then they will be stuck to web surfing and email.

Royal Mail disses runaway post van man

Simon Painter

too right

Royal Mail are spot on here, they are not liable for his stupidity and if he is so proud of having 'saved' a bunch of kids then that should be reward enough in itself.

Small ISPs reject call to filter out child abuse sites

Simon Painter

what a total load of rubbish

Take a look at http://www.thatsfuckingstupid.com/index.php/2009/02/iwf-fail/ it's just all a whole load of rubbish.

Sharp UK intros 108in monster telly

Simon Painter

orders coming in thick and fast

11 from the manchester area, 11 from liverpool

another 11 orders from chelsea

you get the idea...

NASA releases moon return globo-projection movie

Simon Painter

"return" to the moon

come on, nut jobs, let's be having you... photos and shadows and all that tripe?

Microsoft on the shrink's couch: time to get touchy feely

Simon Painter


can I get that register vulture thing as a screensaver?

Terabit Ethernet possibilities

Simon Painter


640Gbit/s ought to be enough for anyone

mine's the one with the list of dubious 'quotes' in the pocket

Virgin Media trials longer bandwidth throttling

Simon Painter



It's easy to shift to a network with newer technology, better definitions of fair use and a far better experience.

I don't work for them, I am a customer, and can't understand why muppets are using services like virgin media if they can get broadband from BE.

China preps internet porn snitching awards

Simon Painter

@ hikaricore

I assume you are french because your comments suggest you are neither an american or a brit.

Brits 'a bunch of yellow bastards', says irate Yank

Simon Painter


Lester, I didn't know you were a member of the Cockfighting Across America Federation. Bravo, sir, for fighting all those American cocks.

Gates looses mosquitoes on tech conference bloodsuckers

Simon Painter

the word replacer


European Parliament wants criminalization of online 'grooming'

Simon Painter

@kain preacher

You're kidding right? I think I missed the 'irony' tag that should have been on your post because I really can't believe that there are people left in the world who are stupid enough to think that gay men and women are more likely to be paedophiles than straight men and women.

I suggest, if you are being serious, that you go get yourself some statistics and you will see that gay men and women are less likely to be paedophiles than straight churchmen. More offences are committed by men with girls than by men with boys and more are committed by women with boys than women with girls. If this is really your misinformed and ignorant opinion then I suggest you crawl back under your rock and tuck in to a big box of shut the f*ck up.

1m French out of work thanks to dodgy data - UK next?

Simon Painter

if the french can't do it

If the technocratic state of France can't get it right then the lumbering idiocy of "Great" Britain won't be able to manage it. We can't *do* IT as so many shitty projects have proved.