Posts by Andy

Apple files 3D-interface patent

Where's that little fellow?

Um, 3D interface, other story from 11th, recording dreams...

Are these news stories or has someone just watched Minority Report?

US PS3 sales surge

Graph

Can you put the ZX spectrum on this graph?

Schoolboy's asteroid-strike sums are wrong

Shiney Surface?

So how do you install a shiney surface on a meteor?

Wax on? Wax off? Bruce? Hollywood must have the answer!

O2 to slash 8GB iPhone pricing tomorrow?

How much per month?

But what's the monthly rental? 50quid? 40quid?

US student planned to ice Chuck Norris

Kew Gardens!

Now there's a Terrorgasmicalistic breeding ground if I've never seen one!

Damn those plants with plots and those latin-esque names! Burn them

at the stake!

Guitar maker Gibson thrashes out more robo-axes

Star Power?

Do they come with star power?

London Olympics drives dash for terrestrial HDTV

Load of tish tosh!

I've got a new fangled tv that only does digital.

The picture is dreadful.

So I only watch DVDs and $ky.

I'm so happy to be forced to spend my lazy earned cash

on a tv license or to be a branded a criminal. Freedom!

It's great init.

Brown ignores scientists and pushes pot reclassification

Mr Brown Stoned?

Not listening to advisors? Is he high?

Shell waves goodbye to 3,000 IT staffers in $4bn outsourcing gig

it's 2008!

Um, it's 2008 and still companies think it's a good idea to outsource.

Oh well.

Bladerunner and biometrics: Heathrow T5 unveiled

Fingerprints?

What if you've had both hands blown off whilst playing

with explosives? And all you've got are two hooks?

Brain training game aids kids' learning skills, study claims

Hnd in Half Life, MSc in Manhunt2 please

nutters

Microsoft denies Xbox 360 is Blu-ray bound

Yawn!

This is boring! Instead of he said blah, no I didn't, lets talk about

PS4 and the xbox490. Will they overheat? Will they explode?

Will they have rectal probes as standard? Blah Blah Blah

Man webcams butt in Burnout Paradise prang rage

Well? What do you do?

There's only one thing worse than being beaten by a 12yr old.

And that's being beaten by a 12yr old american. Tax? Cancer?

Ex Wifes? Nope, none of them quite reach the insult of being

30-something and being beaten by a mouthy american.

Man cuffed for lamppost sex outrage

Lampost

So what was the make, model and wattage of the lampost in question?

Probably a sting operation, lampost was probably coming onto him.

Was it in a red light district? We need answers!

Road charging, the sequel - Kelly unveils 'wired m-way' plans

@Mat Stace

try 'idiot tax'

@ AC

Nah, when they've got tabs on every car, they'll reduce the

motorway speed to 30 so they can get more from the

speeding tax.

I can't believe it, but it seems in the future I'll be looking back

at my 1hr commute with fond memories in the future.

Damn and blast those pesky politicians. I didn't give my life

in two world wars for these scumbags.... yada yada yada...

...think that's my straight jacket.

Vote now for your fave sci-fi movie quote

Barbarella

'Oooh, That's nice'

Indian IT sector will employ 2m by end of 2008

$64bn from selling bank details? nice.

'firms were becoming increasingly specialised -

a sign of a maturing industry'

''No, not Deli! Derby'

'Yes, Deli'

''No, I said Derby, D, E, R, B, Y'

'Yes sir, Deli, thanking you sir'

'I'm sorry sir, due to the data protection act I can't tell you

who I am, but I will sell your details to my cousin, he gives

me $5 per name and bank details.....'

yay!

Boffin shortage will blight Blighty's prosperity

PhD, really?

Um, so a boffin thinks there should be more top notch

boffins to solve the problem. hmmm.

Here's me, just a dumb ass, thinking that the problem is

due to over taxation. Killing business, and making the

good uns leave the UK and get a job where they get

better pay/standard of living/etc.

Simplistic view, but if you reduce tax to less than those

countries around you, dont the good people/good companies

decided to set up here? Guess it's not in the politician's

interest to do what's best for the country in the long term,

just to get into power in the next 4 years, ah well.

ho hum, go on then, get more boffins!

Um, can you get a PhD in common sense? Or is that

a bit of an oxymoron?

Clash of the compacts: Eee vs Air

Um....

Can we have a picture of the girl on the beach with an Air?

Royal Society: UK gov needs to grow a biofuels policy

Well FUD me!

Oh, heck, I'm gonna get me one of those nuke-reactors, looks

like the cleanest option out there! Yeee-Har!

YouTube biker clocked at 189mph

Looks ok to me.

He seemed in control. Nice sunny day. Not as wreckless

as some police and granny drivers I've seen. Wreckless

is not knowing what to do at a junction, wreckless is not

looking where you are going, wreckless is indicision, etc

etc.

I'd rather have a speeder next to me on the road who

knows what to do than a woman, any day of the week.

Truth is, you know exactly what a speeder wants to do,

and it's to be that dot on the horizon. Predictable and safe.

A woman, sheesh, she'll be thinking about shoes or something

and swerve to hit you.

Paramount poised to drop HD DVD

Better Quality???

I've compared a film on blu-ray and on DVD on my new 40inch 1080P....and there's not that much in it. The TV does a very good job of upscaling.....so my high def format for a while will be plain old DVD.

SETI@home needs You!

PS3????

I'd rather kill aliens on my PS3 than search for them.

Censor to challenge Manhunt 2 release in court

BBFC's concern

Surely if the BBFC are concerned an item designated for 18+ will get into

the hands of minors then we need to ban ALL 18 CERT material, heck lets

ban alcohol, cigarettes and p-r-o-n. Oh yes, they try to do that anyway.... :-(

Plunging player prices to reveal Blu-ray vs HD DVD winner?

Is It Worth It?

Casino Royal, DVD 4 quid, blu ray 17 quid, but I can't see the blu ray disks as being 4 times better. In fact I find it difficult to see much of an improvement at all.

There's a big difference from my 40 inch 1080P tv to my old CRT. But when I try to convince myself that it's better, all I see is flickering artifacts which were defo not there on the CRT. But what I can do is boast I have 1080P to my friends, for that, I will be eternally grateful to consumerism.

But if I put my sensible hat on, I'll be buying DVD for the medium term at least.

Oh, I like the pretty slide on menu when you are watching a blu-ray film. Not sure that justifies the grand and a bit I spent though.

Police shut non-urgent crime reporting portal

@rusticus et al

rusty, aye, i formally retract my twiddle twaddle battle.

anony coward, I can't believe you like the metric tables. Yes, I have first had experience and examples of all cases, mostly family members, nurses, lecturers all being told what to do....being told to do 'bad' things...in order to make the figures look better...it's only takes a bit of experience and intelligence to know what you are being told to do is fundamentally wrong...but hey ho

everyone else, merry christmas...ho ho ho

@Anonymous Coward

No tabloid, just first hand experience.

Rustius, twaddle back at ya!

Twiddle Twaddle yourself!

You can't put the blame of league tables and accountability on the

'public'. It lies fair and square with the politicians and the police.

My experience of the police in the last few years has been pretty

poor, break ins, car torched, etc. The best I got was a crime number.

The worst was verbal abuse, stating that they would arrest me for

not reporting a motoring offense in the first 24 hrs. Each time they

would try their best to not accept any crime or to give out a crime

number. In short I agree with the tough on the reporting of crime.

I now throw out a challenge, to see if anyone can come up with a

situation where league tables have improved the activity which was

being league tablized. Schools dont teach, they just want kids to

pass exams. Nurses dont cure patients, just patch them and get

an empty bed. Police dont police, they just avoid difficult crime

and focus on motoring offenses. Universities with degrees not

worth paper written on.... It's an amazingly depressing list.

Problem is league tables are only measure one or two dimensions

of an activity, and when you focus on them, it's at the expense of

the other dimensions. Sad Sad Sad.

Drivers on the phone face the slammer

Dirty Criminal Scumbags...

None of this stops the dirty toe rags who broke into my home!

I wish they spent a fraction of the amount they spend each

year on motor offenses on stopping real crime.

--

I recon what this police state needs is a GPS/chip/tag inserted

in our brain at birth. The GPS can work out when we are going

over 30 and send small electrical pulses to the brain and

paralysing the citizen until the thought police can come round

give a good beating. The chip could possibly be programmed

to encourage the citizen to watch more tv, giving out soothing

pulses when watching any celebrity reality tv show. Then giving

out painful bursts when watching anything not on the approved

list, or any ultra violence righty right.

Retailers: Xbox 360 to win next-gen console war

War, what is it good for

Can we please have a pretty graph, time along the bottom, release dates of consoles, and vertical showing total sales. If the war was over today, it's probably the PS1/One which is the winner. :-)

Boeing announces 'Laser Gunship' completion

A Blu-Ray version?

I see from the picture the death ray is red, is there

a blu-ray version?

Do you have a licence for that sporran, sir?

Och Awa'

Och Awa' an' bile yer heed!

Jet-powered go-kart roars onto eBay

no ejector seat?

I see they've failed to fit the ejector seat. amature.

Microsoft demos mind-bending photo app

Yeah, Yeah, Bah and indeed Poo!

I've got one of those 360 xbox things, that can stream 'all of my photos'

from a Media Edition PC.... works a treat for about 4 photos then the xbox

complains that the PC has been turned off or something... So yeah, I'm

all for making the minute or so that the technology hangs together as

pleasureable for the end user. Rotating and Zooming menus, great.

While we're on the subject, I want my mobile phone with a hi-def screen/

camera/torch/music player/animated menus cos that makes me happy

when there's no reception. And another thing! I want my apple mac to

store my 'mp3' in a format that doesn't work on anything other that apple

kit. I want my 360 xbox to only stream video that is created on a windows

PC with some esoteric MS codec, cos afterall MPEG is so last century. I

also want my SONY dvd camcorder to record on mini disks that don't fit

in a MAC, but do fit in a PC, and also for them NOT to record in DVD

format, I want them to record in SONY's own proprietary format, which can

only be extracted from the camera with SONY's 'picture tools' and stores

it in a MPEG file which isn't MPEG compilant and doesn't play on my MAC!

GOD! I LOVE TECHNOLOGY!!!!!!!! THERE'S ALWAYS NEW WAYS FOR

THINGS NOT TO WORK!!

bah! and Poo!

andy

Orange punts two year lock-in

Canaries

What on earth are Canaries gonna do with the free txt msgs? They dont have opposable thumbs, surely more minutes would be better.

Racing games increase real world crashes

Ah no, quite the opposite

With me, it's the other way round. I've totalled about a dozen

Maclaren F1s on the streets of london to try to get some insight

and a better lap record when playing PGR4. However, I've not

noticed any improvement in my gaming skills, no matter how

many cars I crash in real life.