* Posts by Stuart

35 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Dec 2007

BOFH: Grand Theft Auto


So sweet

Simon, Simon, where have you been? The world needs public service announcements like this one more often:

"Here. The car stops, then backs up for 6 metres, forward for 6.5 metres, back 7 metres and then continues on it's way."

"Oh, that," the PFY says. "We noticed our Symantec reseller walking along the footpath."

"It was a gimme," I say. "We had to take it!"

Such a sweet and happy way to end my day. Thanks!

Google finally soups up Gmail search


@ Long Fei

According to this article,

http://www.nbr.co.nz/article/facebook-rejects-google-chrome-43572, you can do that using Chrome in privacy mode.

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I'm with the bart, man

When I read the headline my first thought was, "FINALLY, partial search". That headline was cruel teasing of the lowest kind, promising real improvements and instead delivering only cosmetic tinkering of trifling worth and less merit. Shame of Google for NOT really improving tGMail search and shame on El Reg for sadistically misleading hyped headlines.

Netbooks: A bit popular

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"but as for "Windows is just for games. If you want to do some real work done, get Linux." that's sadly risible. "

No more than the screed yelled from the rooftops about how Linux is NEVER ready for the desktop (and GIMP is a stupid name, and you'd never use it 'cos Photoshop is the only program, and, and and...)."

I agree entirely. I really LIKE Linux, and would prefer to use it, but lack of what is for me indispensable software prevents it. The same pettiness that motivated Christian's infantile potshots certainly thrives in devotees of all OSes. I generally ignore them, regardless of which OS they are worshipping, but occasionally respond. BTW, speaking of the GIMP, I can highly recommend www.meetthegimp.org for tutorials

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@Christian Berger

Yep, it is a "quesiion of software", but as for "Windows is just for games. If you want to do some real work done, get Linux." that's sadly risible. I've been using Linux since 2000 and am STILL waiting for speech recognition software. As my use of and dependence on Dragon Naturally Speaking, continues to grow, the total absence of any usable Linux alternative keeps me stucxk in Windows. It does at least give me the chance to laugh at comments like yours, of the "Linux does everything Windows does, only better" variety. My physical need for speech recognition is now such that my current PC is the first I've had since Mandrake 6.2 came out that is not a dual-boot Windows/Linux setup.

To paraphrase you, "What's the use of a computer where you can't control your wordprocessor, spreadsheet, email client and browser by speech"?

Google 'GDrive' revisits tech-pundit G-spot

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I know El Reg doen't like "Wired" but,

They agree with you on this, and go to some length to explain why:


Rock-solid Fedora 10 brings salvation to Ubuntu weary


Where are the OpenSuse users?

Fascinating thread, especially Adam Williamson's valiant (if not entirely successful) efforts at breaking centuries of Linux tradition by trying to initiate civil and reasoned discussion. I'm still not going to try Fedora though. Or Ubuntu, the distro that treats KDE like some sort of inbred cousin-child, to be neglected and shunned. I'm guessing all the Ubuntu worshippers have seldom if ever suffered the misery that is Kubuntu. Only 3 weeks until OpenSuse 11.1 goes gold, and hopefully a stable KDE4.x at last.

NZ chaps' sperm not quite up to scratch



Kiwis have long been at or near the top of the list for the rate of vasectomies, maybe this is a Jedi version - "these are not the sperm you seek".

Oh, and fwiw, to whoever it was who said :"Nearly everybody lives in or near Auckland." PUH-LEEZE! Three-quarters of us have the good taste and common decency NOT to live in Auckalnd. To those of us (the majority of the poulation) outside of that soulless cesspit, Aucklanders are JAFAs.

Amazon's 'Kindle 2' spotted in the wild


Good for Kindling, perhaps

So fugly that chopping it up could only enhance its aesthetic appeal. The Sony 700 is looking better and better, especially since the Kindle's "connectivity" is utterly moot this far from the Benighted States of America.

Sony revamps e-book Reader with reading lamp


OK, NOW I'm tempted

If start saving my NZ "money" now, then thanks to the effects of compound interest, I should just about be able to buy one of these the day before Ragnarok. Does anybody know if it's Unicode-compatible? If I could load this up with Hindi tuition materials and reading practice, I'd sell a kidney now for one.

Hands on with the T-Mobile G1


Google put their name on _this_?!

I'm surprised that Google let this be the first Android phone. To Joe pub, this is the googlephone, and it looks cheap and fugly. I hope that others will pick up and run with Android, but the first cab off the rank is a bit of a lame duck, it seems. Perhaps there'll be something better available by the time I've finishes mixing and mangling metaphors.

Artemis Fowl scribe to pen sixth Hitchhiker's novel


O Freddled gruntbugglies

"maybe DA's widow is running short of funds?"

I'm sure that's the only reason. It's a ghastly idea, so stupid it could have come from the mind of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal itself. I bear the would-be author no ill-will, but I hope that this abomination ends up rotting like a pair of fetid dingo kidneys on the desk of the Complaints Division. To the would-be publishers, all I have to say is SHARE AND ENJOY, or at least the top half of that phrase.

Sony PRS-505 Reader e-book


Nearly there, I think,

I am very interested to see where Sony goes from here. I may get the next-gen version, or the one after that, if they can bring the price down some more (200 quid will just about buy a house here in NZ), and if they can give it a decent search function,

Reg launches Chrome-o-drome


Dr Sergeylove, or how I stopped worrying and learned

to love our new Google overlords. No crashes so far in this Chrome thingy, and neither lightning fast nor molasses slow either. Just another browser, except that it is of course being produced by people who do no evil. Maybe if I say that often enough I can convince them that I believe it.

Kaminsky (finally) reveals gaping hole in internet


The "nice" people mewling and whining about "impactful"

Shift happens. Get over it. Since you insist that English is not permitted to evolve, grow or change in any way, I'm going to say that you're all very nice people. (LIU)

Firefox 3.1 vs IE8: 'Alpha, beta testers step forward, please'


@ FF3 stability

To all the helpful correspondents who suggested doing a clean install, thanks. Since FF3 went on to my PC when I'd had the PC for barely a fortnight, the registry was practically empty, and there was nothing to corrupt FF. I will try Flashblock, in case that's the problem.

Paris Hilton

@ AC

"In the last 2 years though, FF has done a very poor job of impressing me. ..The biggest issue though is that FF is buggy and crashes all the time. And when it crashes it takes down every FF window you have open,"

I've noticed this too. FF3 has fixed the insane memory leak problem of older releases, but now seems to crash without warning on a whim. Very annoying. It is a rare day for me when FF3 doesn't go down at least twice.

Paris, since she could probably relate to that last sentence.

BOFH: Server room secret panels


@ Jamie

Re: Question is, when's the PFY getting Simon back for the job reference?

I was wondering the same thing myself. The last few BOFHs have been back on form, so maybe fortnightly updates give Simon the time to craft his best work. Which is perhaps a little suprising given how little else there is to do in the Waikato.

Shocker DNS spoofing vuln discovered three years ago by a student



re Wilkie Collins. Since the only work of his published prior to Jane Eyre was Memoirs of the Life of William Collins, Esq., R.A. (sourced from Wikipedia so caveat lector), if the Wonkypedia is right, I'd say Ms Bronte got there first.

Microsoft touts trustworthy browsing with IE8


@ Tom

I think the Brookland Bridge must be near the Eye Fell tower.

Family Guy creator's sellout to Google almost complete


@ Peyton

"What I want to know is how the show's script-writing manatees feel about this move."

One of the best South Park story arcs in recent times. I guess it might be because its airing here in Zild coincided with the astonishingly rapid collapse in the quality of Family Guy, but it was the first time I was 100% behind one of Cartman's schemes, and I was gutted when it failed.


No big loss

I thought the first series of Family Guy was funny and inventive, and after that, it seemd to be nothing but pastiches and rip-offs thinly disguised as parodies or "homages." If McFarlane's come up with an original idea for maknig money online, then at least it proves he is capable of having them, something you wouldn't know from watching Family Guy.

OpenSUSE 11 a redemptive OS with a Mactastic shine

Paris Hilton

Suse and Nvidia

@Bloody Yank:

Re "SUSE 10.3 couldn't handle Nvidia drivers worth a shit -" What was the NVidia card you had trouble with? I've had 10.3 since October last year, and found the 1-click install of the NVidia driver worked flawlessly. Ditto for the 1-click install in 11.0RC2, which I've had for the last week or so.

Paris because she needs new drivers.


11.0 is rather nice

Having long ago outgrown the "my distro is my religion" phase, I am hugely entertained by the aggressive posturing of the Ubuntu hit squads. I really don't like Gnome, and since Kubuntu is possibly the worst KDE distro out there, I've never bought into the Ubuntumania that seems de rigeur in the FLOSS world.

That said, chacun à son goût, and if Gnome and Ubuntu rock your world, go for it. Why that compels you to wax rabid and froth at the mouth over other distros is beyond me. It's interesting to see the contempt for factual reality that this canonisation of Ubuntu generates, such as in the claim that one is "forced to use YaST, like it or not". That's simply not true, as the many satisfied zypper users will verify.

I'm an intermediate Linux user who started with Mandrake 6.x, and I think that OpenSuse 11.0 comes closest to the "just works" status than any other distro I've tried. It's also obviously very much better for my emotional and spiritual development,.It leaves me calm, serene and happily able to welcome the use of other distros by other people, wheras it seems that ranting angrily against the evil inadequacies of all distros is required by the Ubuntu EULA.

Firefox 3 downloads hit 7m despite server FAIL


Opera - MEH!

@ Stuart Castle


Never could get on with Firefox. Don't like having to install addons just to get a decent browsing experience.

Much prefer Opera"

Exactly the inverse of my reaction. I have tried Opera several times, and just can't get over my revulsion. It's bloated, unimpressive and no faster than FF. YMMV of course, and clearly does, but whenever I read endless paeans to that nasty noxious norwegian nightmare I have to speak up in defence of FF. I even prefer IE7 to Opera. For me, opera is to be seen and heard, not used on the Web.

Google Translate speaks in (more) tongues

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I think they've got a dead fish in their ear

I just tried

"I am 40 years old. I live in New Zealand and work from home"

into Hindi, and it got pretty much everything it possibly could totally wrong. Happily, it is self-aware, doing a perfect job of translating "useless rubbish".

Fedora 9 - an OS that even the Linux challenged can love

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I unclog my nose in Gnome's general direction

One of the main reasons I ditched Kubuntu for OpenSuse was the feeling that the Ubuntu mob treat KDE as 2nd-class or worse. So any distro that favours Gnome, as it seems Fedora does, loses for me. I look forward to your review of OpenSuse 11, though - not long now, maybe just long enough for KDE 4 to be almost usable.

BOFH: On the brink


The Richard Stallman story

What a great way to start a Saturday morning! After years of flames in various Usenet groups and FOSS software fora whenever I dared to opt out of genuflecting at the mention of his name, today's BOFH was absolutely hilarious. Literally spork material as it happened. Keep up the very good work Simon, kia kaha!

John Denver classic provokes Thai karaoke gun massacre

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But who's the boss?

The idea of killing people for mixing karaoke and John Denver, two concepts which separately are evil incarnate and together a horror beyond thought, put me in mind of a similar musical murder story from the giant penal colony on the wrong side of the Tasman. Apparently not liking Springsteen can be a terminal condition.


DARPA releases 'Blackswift' hyperplane details


"Retired less than 10 years ago"

If you believe Wikipedia, ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SR-71#Second_retirement ), and NASA. Like the man said, I'll have three, please.

Elonex £99 Eee PC rival to arrive in June

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Me two

Elonex gal scores my vote too. Maybe by the time her toy reaches all the way up here to Aotearoa, it will have been upgraded into smoething more useful. Hopefully the marketing team will also see the wisdom of featuring her more than it.

Quake rocks Britain


"Great Big Earthquake"

There's a contradiction in your article. On the one hand, you say "a great big earthquake had happened, somewhere in Britain.", but otoh, you go on to say it was 4.9 (I've seen it listed as 4.7 through to 5.4).

I hate to rain on your Pommy parade, but 4.9 is not "a great big earthquake". It's a moderate shake and might be mildly thrilling in the right circumstances, but "great big earthquake" just doesn't seem to fit with anything under 6.5

BOFH: The Silence of the Servers


Great read!

The Roald Dahl touch was superb. Once again, Simon confirms his status as one of the top reasons I'm proud to be a K1W1.

Sir Edmund Hillary dies at 88

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A man for humanity to proud of

I'm a Kiwi too, and like many of us, not particularly patriotic. Sir Ed though, makes me very proud to have shared citizenship with him. Especially because of the way he used his fame. He got his (literally) 15 minutes, and parlayed it into an enduring legacy in the lives of thousands. NZ has not produced a finer son, and likely never will. I hope that others will honour his memory by supporting his charities.

Campaign to name US street after Douglas Adams

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Definitely a bypass

With an arch over the onramp reading "We Apologise For The Inconvenience". As for the ZZ9 Beeblebears, does anybody else still have one of the original ZZ9 towels, the ones with the Guide entry on towels printed on them? Mine's still in pretty good shape for a 23-yr old towel.