Lets go for it
What a great way to spend my tax money. Can I have some back for the following advertisement:
Hi subordinate population - you really need to register with us and see what you get:
For your FREE voluntary multi-useful ID Card (only to be paid for every 5 or 10 years) we will give you totally FREE:
Access to tax forms to fill in.
Access to Council tax registration.
Ability to register for births, deaths and marriages.
Police help (when available) should you need it.
Ability to be able to register your car, pay insurance, use a bank account, drink in public places.
Be admitted to an NHS facility for treatment (providing there is room).
Hold a driving licence.
Be entered on our National database allowing you (us) total control over your life and the lives of your family.
Register your car for annual payment of road tax.
Go to super small print:
The registration for an ID Card will ensure that any unpaid speeding fines, tax payments or other contraventions to our totally democratic and free society are paid for in full or you will be denied any of the above services until the said fines are paid.
We guarantee that all your personal information will be safeguarded and only disclosed to those that need it but cannot be held responsible should it fall into anyone else's hands.
We will not track your movements or use your fingerprints or DNA except where necessary to ensure you or a member of your family are convicted for any crime we may think up.
We will in no way be held responsible for anyone forging your ID Card or making improper use of it or the registered information which may or may not be accurate.
You do not have to carry the ID Card with you at all times but must produce it immediately to any authority that wishes to see it.
Loss of an ID Card will impose a fee equal to the cost of the initial card plus the cost of a replacement card plus a certified statement detailing the circumstances surrounding the loss plus a fine of £1,000 for the first offence increasing by £1,000 for each subsequent loss.