* Posts by xyz

1301 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Dec 2007

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We need a volunteer to literally crawl over broken glass to fix this network

xyz Silver badge

Re: "I literally crawled over broken glass for this company."

I'm not saying where, but I ended up on the floor (after nearly being shot) trying to cool down a fibre connection that some cop had placed a radiator against during the night to keep his booth warm and had forgotten about when his shift ended.

Oh there was that time hanging out the back of an under fire Hercules over a bit of sandy ground near India that is better forgotten.

Ah the good old days.

AI Octopus predicts results of Euro 2024: It isn't looking good for England

xyz Silver badge

Of course we're going to lose against Germany..

We're Scotland and we don't care. It's the fun of it all. However saying that we're also ABE.

It's tradition.

Japan's space agency helps to target advertising with satellite photos of crops

xyz Silver badge

Re: As I'm sure JAXA knows ...

Yeah, my fields are photographed annually from the air for, let's be honest here, tax purposes so the money grabbers can calculate the harvest value. I can slide on my app from 2023 back to 1945 to see the land status. Then there are all the other website dross I have to fill (nitrogen use, in production or maintenance down to each tree, manual harvest or machine) for other checks on volumes, again for tax purposes.

This is a bit different though in that it's trying to get from "field to fork" (hate that phrase) by increasing public awareness of product availability.

Farmer will still get screwed though by the usual middle men feeding frenzy.

Microsoft's Recall should be celebrated as the savior of SMEs and scourge of CEOs

xyz Silver badge

Oh dearie me...

What a load of drivel from some MS brown nose.

It's a shite idea, own it and say sorry.

Microsoft pulls Windows 11 24H2 from Insider Release Preview Channel

xyz Silver badge

Completely off topic...

But I'm a bit beyond caring what MS screws up next. I just tried their online AI image generator and it about fucked my phone.

So off topic, here is the best research article o' the day...

https://phys.org/news/2024-06-men-dissatisfied-penis-size-gun.html

EU grants €15M funding for ICARUS inflatable heat shield

xyz Silver badge

The Cosmic Johnny...

Reentry rubber.. The jokes are endless.

Fragile Agile development model is a symptom, not a source, of project failure

xyz Silver badge

Ok... How I do stuff

I sit down with the client and a white board and go through the complexity of their want. If I don't understand something, I say so. It gives the client confidence and buy in.

Once we start on actual code, I ensure there is a weekly client + user group meet to go through stuff to make sure we're all on the same page... And if not we rework until we're all happy.

In the middle of all this comes the "would this be a better way" or "why do you do that" stuff that no one ever thought about before the kick off.

Repeat, repeat but aim for the delivery date and if it's slipping everyone is aware of why.

Etc etc

HP CEO: Printed pages are down 20% since pandemic

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HP can't force customers to print more –

But we're working on it.

Adobe users just now getting upset over content scanning allowance in Terms of Use

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I can't wait until...

Every software slinger claims copyright over your work and then they all start suing each other for copyright infringement. It's going to get messy.

Astroboffins order most advanced spectrograph ever to sniff out alien life

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It's never aliens...

Some words go here.

A tale of two missions: Starliner and Starship both achieve milestones

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So....

Starship powers back through the atmosphere, does a backflip and then floats in the air (probably letting off fireworks and singing "hail to the chief") before going plop into the water.

Starliner goes old school and crashes into the ground 1960's Russian (or Bulgarian airbag) stylee.

I might choose Starship as a ride.

DuckDuckGo AI Chat promises privacy for bot conversations

xyz Silver badge

If....

The search engine you are using isn't Google or Bing, it's Bing under the hood.

The giveaway is Ai "summaries." Find one via Bing and then run the same search on your fav search engine and Bing-o.

Pic results seem to be completely different for some reason though.

Can AI models trained on human speech help us understand dogs?

xyz Silver badge

Hey AI can you lick your balls?

My mutt has very few needs... Constant food and walkies. He licks his bits 24/7 and barks everything that moves and is not me. He's easy.

My missus on the other hand is bloody complicated and I could do with an AI to tell me what is actually going on in her head because I'm crap at working that out.

BT chief blames regulations for UK lagging in next-gen network rollout

xyz Silver badge

Meanwhile....

My local village here in Catalunya (pop <5000) has been invaded by 3 blokes, a big roll of fibre cable and a bobcat sized machine with a big disc on its back and are currently carving their way down the streets and laying fibre. No idea why really as we're up to our asses in fibre anyway.

We're also getting brand new sewers and a water treatment plant thanks to the EU.

It's all go out here in the sticks.

Wi-Fi can watch your heart beating, Taiwan’s datacenter power outfit Delta finds

xyz Silver badge

I turn my connection off about 7pm...

Anything to stop my missus consulting her fitbit. It drives her mad and therefore drives me mad as I have to listen to her banging on about her heartbeat, steps taken and assorted other dross.

You can see the future...

Building: Dave, your heartbeat seems a little elevated. Is everything ok?

Dave (looking for his axe) : I'm fine, just fine.

From meatballs to metaverse – IKEA's flatpack fantasy lands on Roblox

xyz Silver badge

My missus dragged me screaming to IKEA...

In Tarragona. Followed Google maps and everything and guess what... It didn't exist!!

So if you want the IKEA "experience" without the desire to cut your wrists, I can only recommend IKEA Tarragona; a virtual delight.

Study finds 268% higher failure rates for Agile software projects

xyz Silver badge

From what I've seen....

Customer wants x, by y for z amount.

Massed developers wander off for months for a group code wank.

They then present their completed shit to the customer and then blag it when asked questions.

When the created thing doesn't work, the customer gets the blame.

IMHO it doesn't matter if it's agile, waterfall or whatever, the customer has to be central to the whole thing and not an afterthought.

Graveyards a favorite haunt for solar farms in Valencia

xyz Silver badge

Mmmm...

I spent yesterday afternoon looking at new power solutions that didn't involve panels. All were variations of wind turbines but without the blades and were for architectural use within cities. The US, France, Scotland and Spain all have solutions. There are loads of new ideas that have come out since Covid. Things are looking good. As for putting panels in cemeteries remember that these things are above ground in Spain and are like condos for the dead.

Cisco's emergency caller can send first responders to the wrong location

xyz Silver badge

>This is so scary. Who thought it would be a good idea to send a default location instead of location unknown in those circumstances???

Everyone it seems... I'm in Madrid according to world + corporate dog (Google, MS and assorted other ferals) and I've never been near the place. Starlink's ground station is in Madrid, so search results are all tailored for Madrid. Doesn't help that I might be calling from El Molar (Tarragona) and guess what's a suburb of Madrid, yup El Molar. My mate ended up with car insurance for El Molar Madrid because of that.

SkyDSLs ground station is in Germany so I couldn't access my banking app as it flashed up "FRAUD!" everytime I went on it.

If you don't have an old fashioned fixed line you're at the mercy of the "logic" of unknown programmers.

Boeing's Starliner finds yet another way to not reach space

xyz Silver badge

Can someone please take this POS out back

And do the decent thing and put it out of its misery.

Researchers warn robot cars can be crashed with tinfoil and paint daubed on cardboard

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Don't tell the kids...

Otherwise this'll be a mega meme on Tiktok.

Google finally addresses those bizarre AI search results

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I've been summerised and...

I am sorely pissed. The top result on Qwant for me has my website address and a pile of AI generated shite that I can't access or remove but is not what I wrote. It feels like being abused.

Twitter 'supersharers' of fake news tend to be older Republican women

xyz Silver badge

Err...

So women gossip... Who knew!

Google to push ahead with Chrome's ad-blocker extension overhaul in earnest

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Re: Chrome has rigorously infested both the corporate and K-12 education market share

Just installed Brave and I quite like it straight out the box with no fiddling about.

Opera (mini) has descended into farce what with football pop ups, dodgy serverage and (IMHO) sort of shadowbanning of any news website that might upset Israel. So Opera is now uninstalled.

Vivaldi is feeling a bit clunky now and it's going after this post.

As for Chrome, Edge etc never!

Recycling old copper wires could be worth billions for telcos

xyz Silver badge

Re: "should they take the trouble to recycle them"

Yup, the growth industry here in Catalunya is heaving the copper used for railway train power. Man are they dedicated to recycling. Every day the news has a story of another track not working.

Verizon joins satellite phone party, links up to AST SpaceMobile

xyz Silver badge

Of course, of course...

Who needs that infrastructure stuff when we've got assorted space Karen-age antenae and wifi calling. No maintenance means more profit, until something decides to give it the full Carrington and no gov can send an emergency sms.

Might be loads of satellites but it's a single point of failure. Imho

Amazon Prime Air delivery drones allowed off line-of-sight leash

xyz Silver badge

Re: Oh good, no line of sight

I was thinking more of Amazon drone hunting. Bagged me a brace of ear buds and an iPad this morning.

The Reg builds official Lego Artemis and Milky Way sets

xyz Silver badge

The jury is in....

https://medium.com/bricksnbrackets/pure-genius-or-just-tedious-a-lego-milky-way-review-5f9795bf904e

xyz Silver badge

Still...

Lester et al would have actually stuck something in actual space just for the shear hell of it and not presented photos of some pos models that I used to have in my bedroom as a kid.

Still miss Lester.. Proper bloke.

RIP

We polled thousands of IT pros – and sustainability just ain't a priority right now

xyz Silver badge

Rats...

I thought the title said...

We polluted thousands of IT pros

xyz Silver badge

Re: I have a suggestion suggestion:

Yeah, we farmers need diesel to keep food production going. Electric tractors are just shite.

Microsoft fixes the fix for the Windows Server 2019 NTLM problem

xyz Silver badge
Joke

Re: Back in the day

This issue is more likely to affect devices that do not have the English (United States) language pack

You mean where stuff is spelt (note!!!) properly.

Research finds electric cars are silent but violent for pedestrians

xyz Silver badge

Stirring the pot here but...

A pack of lycra festooned cyclists vs assorted EVs in a car park. See who survives. I'm hoping neither. BYOP. *

* Bring your own popcorn.

Giving Windows total recall of everything a user does is a privacy minefield

xyz Silver badge

Re: Domestic Abuse

Well it's one way to bypass E2E encryption and who knows what "telemetry" happens between taking a screendump and saving it to your HDD.

Mind you after the first update it'll probably all be saved to onedrive "in error" anyway.

Time for Linux.

Starlink offers 'unusually hostile environment' to TCP

xyz Silver badge

Me too... >300mbps, about 30ms latency, in a forest, up a mountain, no mains leccy and no mobile signal. Bit thirsty on power use but apart from that I can't fault it.

Still wouldn't buy a Tesla though.

BT delays deadline for digital landline switch off date

xyz Silver badge

Exactly.... Wifi calling is the saviour of mobile phone companies. All the coin and none of that infrastructure nonsense. Milking-As-A-Service.

As for BT wanting to cut the POTS cord asap, I'm pretty sure there will be a lot of users out there who wont have been thought about until everything goes quiet.

Oh Sonos! App update borks users' favorite features and worse

xyz Silver badge

Software Development Rule #1

Do not piss off the customer.

Unfortunately no one seems to know it. Bet it was an "agile" development :-)

HMRC must grow 'intelligent client' function to sort out post-Brexit tech issues – watchdog

xyz Silver badge

What could possibly go wrong...

Answers below....

Google Cloud shows it can break things for lots of customers – not just one at a time

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Re: Good old fat fingers Friday

Any full no... Don't touch jack post midday on a Friday. It is gospel.

Microsoft's carbon emissions up nearly 30% thanks to AI

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Funnily enough...

I wrote this ditty a couple of weeks ago in "another place" whilst comparing search engines...

Ecosia.com

Another Bing wannabee, except somehow “green”, which is baffling as it’s dragging its results from Bing and every time Bing runs you can just imagine packs of blokes shovelling coal into the boilers to keep them electrons on the conveyor belt.

Claire Voyant-Orwhat :-)

Forget feet and inches, latest UK units of measurement are thinking bigger

xyz Silver badge

What the hell is a meter?

METRE...

Destroying offshore wind farms is top priority for Trump if he returns to presidency

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He's obviously still pissed at Scotland...

He had a barny with Aberdeen Council (i think it was Aberdeen) because they gave planning permission for an off shore wind farm and guess what you could see from the Orange one's golf course... He went apeshit.

Global EV sales continue to increase, but Plug-in Hybrid momentum is growing

xyz Silver badge

Re: no one needs a car to live

Same for me... In the sticks, so no charge points. House in village is in a culturally significant zone, so no charge points for me there either. My tractor, quad and trucks need fossil fuels and I'm not swapping them until some "green" city type grows up and realises it's not all about him/her and works something out.

In a nutshell: No fuel for me in the countryside, means no food for you in the supermarket.

Currently looking at home made flow batteries powered by nanofluids made by companies like influitenergy.com as a solution.

Rear-end crashes prompt probe into Amazon's Zoox self-driving cars

xyz Silver badge

Meh...

The push me pull you thing probably doesn't know its arse from its elbow or...

Maybe these are cash for crash jobs. They still happen.

Samsung sole winner as US smartphone market hits sixth quarterly decline in a row

xyz Silver badge

I need glue

My ultracheap highwayeeway 2019 thingy has "farmers' virus" in that the screen is curling up at the bottom edge due to assorted, nefarious farming activities and another part of the screen has some sort of burn mark due to (I think) chemicals where my thumb's been, but it just keeps going. She'll be right for a few more seasons.

AI meh.

Brain-sensing threads slip from gray matter in first human Neuralink trial

xyz Silver badge

Is this the same bloke that...

Broke his finger in a cybertruck frunk the other day?

Apple crushes creativity and its reputation in new iPad ad

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Headmaster

Re: Correction

Another correction...

Beer because it's Friday.

Tut, tut.

UK's National Cyber Security Centre entry code cracks up critics

xyz Silver badge

Err... I haven't seen that old fixed type of lock for years. All the ones I've seen in the past 15 years juggle the numbers that are displayed so there are no clean/dirty options and no over the shoulder pattern opportunities.

Mark IVs still drive me nuts though even when I know the combination.

Tesla devotee tests Cybertruck safety with his own finger – and fails

xyz Silver badge

Some quasi on topic bedtime reading...

https://futurism.com/the-byte/justice-department-tesla-wire-fraud

xyz Silver badge

WTFrunk...

A) How can a stupid dipshit (as described) even afford a cybertruck?

B) Did his blood damage the stainable stainless steel?

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