Posts by Dan

The Hadron Collider: What's it all about, then?

taking the piss

is all very well, but you can't knock the scale and complexity of this experiment. also, if the higgs is not found now, it never will be no matter how large an accelerator is built...

Twitter falls silent in the UK

can someone please explain to me

why sms is so expensive?

South Koreans clone sniffer dog

@Ian Ferguson

yes ian, exactly right. its high time the supermarket chains in this country made dog meat available to the masses. i've always said us stuffy, unadventurous brits need to bloody well cast aside our conservative tastes and eat more domestic animals. personally, i'd like to see hamsters, guineau pigs and cute kitty cats on the menu in mcdonalds too. let the cavery commence.

Women overtaking men in tech abuse

i don't like the look of

that precocious little bastard.

Three Little Pigs book deemed offensive to Muslims

poor old muslims!

always copping the shitty end of the stick.

Former beauty queen cuffed for torturing ex

holy hell

she looks a tad troubled.

Charlie Sheen in upside-down iPhone outrage

surely

the iphone is so flipping versatile it works any way up, down or sideways.

Nicole Richie warms to lamppost dog urinals

@Mr Brush

i bet you're pretty chuffed with that, eh?

Drink rats' milk, suggests battling Heather Mills

that fucking woman

has she never heard of the phrase "dignified silence"?

NZ bans Brit immigrant's overweight missus

lamb flaps

'nuff said.

Chinese cyber strikes will be 'like WMD'

one of our dinosaurs is missing

scoff all you like, you still can't trust the bastards.

Russian: I killed Buster Crabb in 1956 underwater scrap

perhaps

and "and what do you think you're up to comrade" might have been a less extreme initial reaction.

Brown announces new counter-terror plans

perhaps they should

concentrate on understanding why these silly bastards want to kill us in the first place. act, don't react. no, thats too simple, too obvious. ignore me.

Animal rights activist hit with RIPA key decrypt demand

i'd do two years

so they couldn't get their mucky paws on my stuff.

Tutankhamun: the boy king comes to London

boy king comes to london

immediately has run in with tube ticket tout, pays over the odds for everthing, generally made to feel wholly unwelcome...fucks off back to tomb.

US man blasts stubborn wheelnut with shotgun

wheely stupid

as jonathan ross might say.

the guy must have been driven to distraction at this point, before actually taking a gun to his car, completely nuts in fact. still, theres plenty of milage in this story for taking the piss, if anyone wants to go down that road. lucky it was only a hub that slowed him down, he might have ended up gunning the engine. imagine he'll be treading carefully for a while. for anyone wondering where the IT angle is here, its in the boot.

oh fuck me.

Mum sends stripper to teenage son's school

bet the kid

is really beating himself off about it

BAE in South Coast mouse-click drone spy plan

i for one

cannot wait to see this unfold in the media, doubtless it'll be a complete mess - cost overruns, crashes, a plethora of companies all over the world being involved, then dropping out, limited but overly touted 'successes'. great stuff.

The Champions heads for the silver screen

the trouble with the avengers

and most of the other remakes of old classics, is that they try to make them too *big* - overembelish them and lay on shit loads of naff cgi - completely losing the charm, style and identity of the original. am i missing the point? is it not possible to develop a complete original idea, rather than mess with a classic?

mind you, if anyone can make a decent go of it, its del Toro.

Striking writers target Desperate Housewives

"I want to say I love my writers. In honour of them today, I'm not going to do a monologue."

Well, thank fuck for that.

Writers' strike hits US talk shows hard

who gives a shit?

tv has been dominated by this trite load of wank for too many years now.

Satanic car key traps 12 motorists in car park of horror

imagine

the offline processing power of modern cars. all linked by bluetooth. discuss.

Oz Army eyes electric vibro vest to replace batteries

the australians

have an army?

Japanese officials in tables-turned GPS tracking rumpus

meanwhile

thousands of defenceless dolphins slaughtered, the bloody savages.

ANPR bags alleged uninsured pirate godfathers

just the facts

this sends a clear message to us all. if you are considering a criminal career, murder, blackmail, drugs, armed robbery, people trafficking, burglary are all safer options than knocking off a few dvds.

Sun: MoD has Bond/Potter/Klingon cloaking device

@The only reason your shed is invisible

surely "ivor headache" would work better?

Jordan mulls mamtastic epitaph

burial mounds

that woman's knockers will be around long after she, and indeed the rest of us, have shuffled off.

Racist Reg ignores Nigerian helicopter pioneer

they will

be after our women next

Kazakhstan blocks opposition websites

at least

they're not living up to the ludicrous fictitous sterotypes created by cohen.

NASA lights blue touchpaper on Discovery

@That's

not really.

TV-Links man was arrested under trademark laws

this will come to nothing

someone else will put the site back up, things will carry on as before.

meanwhile the investigation has cost £1000s and crack dealers walk the streets unmolested.

The first rule of Reg Club is...

how utterly

disappointing.

Almost all CCTV systems are illegal, says expert

Never a truer word said

"This great country is being ground down by people who won't play by the rules, so we all have to suffer with these ridiculous measures."

Amen to that brother.

Brain-sucking parasitic killer menaces warming lake waters

@Is there a new writer onboard?

not in the least bit tedious, you chump.

Mystery radio bursts from the depths of the universe

when stars collide

it is like celestial celebrity wife swap.

So, what's the first rule of Reg Club?

@A site full of geeks an no Python quote yet?

"not that im homophobic or anything..."

my cousin is a gay!

The first rule of reg club

Thou shalt always expect others to know better than thou. And to spew forth in no uncertain terms.

Google Maps rolls out the Mesopotamian nil-cubit

Chinese Imperial Cun

Fantastic, you couldn't make it up.

Maddy: TV torture for the ADD generation

interesting

how any comments criticising the mccanns were removed.

787 unsafe, claims former Boeing engineer

all depends on the type of crash, apparently

from: http://www.netcomposites.com/news.asp?3306

"Research at Farnborough in the 1990's indicated that if carbon fibre composite material is shattered in the absence of fire there will be little or no release of respirable fibres. If you burn carbon fibre composite material without subjecting it to high energy impact there will be little or no release of respirable fibres. However, if you subject carbon fibre composite material to high energy impact while simultaneously burning it with a high temperature flame - typically 1000ºC (typical aircraft crash conditions) significant quantities of respirable fibres may be released."

But the best bit:

"Post Crash Management Systems highlight that whilst they are aware of the hazards of carbon fibre particles following an impact and fire situation, the company are still investigating and evaluating the effects of carbon fibres on the resipratory system. To this end John Andrews would welcome any suggestions or information from members of the composites industry dealing with carbon fibre."

The iPhone arrives, but is O2 being taken for a ride?

who will end up buying this?

a bunch of cock-ends, thats who.

Warner punts Blunt on MySpace

you can't pollish a turd

doesn't matter how it is sold, shite music is still shite music. punting blunt on myspace already awash with an ocean of dross will only see him drown, or be blown straight out of the water by the .01% of listenable stuff.

uSwitch cans IT workers

its a

feckin waste of time anyway.

Chernobyl to get new steel lid

@Claus Møller

mmm, interesting...CUCKOO.

far as i understand it

this idea has been kicking around for a long time, design in place, company ready to build new sarcophagus - only sticking point was funding.

Trade unions demand right to Facebook

re: Title

Hey,

Thanks for setting me straight on that one, you are a shining example to us all.

Good luck and keep up the good work!

Dan

re: the are of reading

i hate people like you. so Right On, yet so utterly out of touch with reality. fact is that outside work related issues, the internet at work is a privilege. do you honestly believe people will use facebook only on breaks? office work is so crushingly tedious employees will do absolutely anything for a distraction.

here at Boredham Unlimited we have two machines in the canteen which allow unrestriced access to networking sites, only two machines for IS to keep an eye on, only accessed during breaks. problem solved.

you, my workshy chum, need a sharp rap upside the head with a rolled up guardian.

US teen trades hacked iPhone for Nissan 350Z

a car and three iphones?

the man's an idiot

Facebook moves to cut down application annoyances

lets us be thankful for small mercies

does this mean the end of being constantly invited to become a zombie, pirate, be pimped, sent a virtual drink or become a jedi? thank fuck for that.

Tycoon abandons £80k Maserati in London car pound

re: Its cheaper to be towed than park!

Amen to that. Fucking place.