Posts by Andy Livingstone

Southeast London is card fraud cesspool

Different Law.

Please note that in Scotland Card Fraud should still be reported by the card holder direct to Police.

The rule about Banks having to report such things is not applicable in Scotland.

Scots Law also defines wheel clamping as "extracting money with menaces" and stops it. Choke on that, Clarkson.

When I worked in South East London the local beat cop (yes, it really was in the dark ages) used to drink his tea while giving a running commentary on those passing by the front windows. Very few were not "known to us". Ah, happy days.

Convicted spammer goes AWOL from federal prison

Escaped Felon

Would it be wrong to hope that the Feds seize the opportunity to shoot the sod?

Prime Minister's email takes month off

@amanfromMars

Ever so sorry, but like most Brits I only understand English.

Every word of your posting passed straight over my head.

Even Babelfish refused it.

Email down@

Those listening to Prime Minister's Question Time recently will know the reasons.

He has forgotten to "Pay Rental" and the service is run on his behalf by his drunken old Auntie..... Alky Ada.

UK gov announces Road Pricing 2.0 - Managed Motorway

Come Back, Marples - All is Forgiven.

@Thinking Laterally - Anonymous Coward:

Yup, tried before and worked beautifully. They called them Motorway Patrols. Think there are some examples in the Transport Museum.

If they are ever restored, perhaps one solution to Motorway congestion would be to ensure that access is permitted only to those who have passed a (decent) test to prove their common sense and ability. Those who drive who dive from Lanes 2 or 3 around 50 yards from their daily exit need not apply......you know who you are. Twinning lorry drivers permanently excluded.

EU tells UK to deal with Phorm - or else

@ Art Hawkes

"The Commission is currently in contact with the UK authorities to clarify, in particular, the actions of the competent national authorities with regard to the users' complaints about trials of the Phorm technology by BT in 2006 and 2007"

Where the hell do they hope to find "competent authorities" among this rabble?

Time for tumbrils.

Brits more hooked on mobile tech than Yanks are

Other techologies too?

Does not seem all that long ago that I tried to explain the concept of Teletext to relatives in the US.

Phorm protestors picket BT AGM

@BlueGreen

You can be sure that the Information Commissioner has not decided to ignore your request.

His office always takes several months to deal with any enquiry.

You can usually take the period quoted on the Web Site and double it.

Neither the systems nor the staff seem able to cope with the volumes.

@Anonymous Coward

Isn't that about all MPs ever do? Pass a copy of your letter to BT, then BT's response back to you, and so on till you get sick of using him as a Post Box. They then mark it up as another constituent's problem satisfactorily dealt with.

Idle gits.

My local MP managed to take a Health & Safety matter through the local Council and send me their reply that said "the fence will be painted green as soon as possible". Of course painting something green is well known to block possible accidents. While in the mean time the danger continues and the problem is declared resolved.

At least they are off for three months. How will the country survive without them?

School chases truants by text

@Inevitable --Anonymous Coward

Only in America??

The Perry Bible Foundation site with a cartoon saying "go eat a dick". !!!!!!

How about saving on technology and bringing back Attendance Officers to get this stuff sorted out?

BT opens wallet to send fibre to the home

Promises, promises.

Apparently the scheme will result in 10 million households having BT fast cable. That's of around 25 million households in the UK.

Somehow it is difficult to see how rural areas have a hope in hell.

Blimey, we can't even get gas here.

Anyone know how to get BT Correspondence Centre to correspond, or to get BT Help number to help?

Oyster system failure causes travel misery

Sorry

What's an Oyster Card?

Public sector faces hefty fines for data breaches

Two Registers?? No security??

The Information Commissioner is currently investigating how my own data was provided to an Organisation that was content to confirm its source in writing as the Voters Register. That's despite my having an X for "no publicity" since the option was provided.

How much security is that and how will it improve if these suggested changes come about?

Is it really wrong to fine the Council? Not if it is the full amount obtained by selling data, surely? Zero cost to Taxpayers.

Write the Council Chief's Terms of Employment to require P45 and loss of accrued pension on data security failures.

Civil Servants used to sign letters as "Your Humble and Obedient Servant". They are the Masters now.

Don't even start me on the Planning Department !!

MS DNS patch snuffs net connection for ZoneAlarm users

@DeBunk

If Vista is not getting KB951748, it seems unlikely to get the problem.

Fiorina threatens to get in McCain's antique cabinet

@Bruce Jackson

Says who?

Gordon Brown?

Let's just hope Obama wins.

If That Woman manages to get to a position of authority then the US (and by extension the rest of us) will be treated in the same way as, from personal experience, she treated customers.

Only saving grace might be to keep her paws off screwing up business.

Hell's teeth, there must be some people of merit in the US to avoid having to scrape the barrel.

Gumshoes fined for debt collection pretexting blag

What about BT?

They actually provided the essential information.

When are they due in Court?

Firefox 3 downloads hit 7m despite server FAIL

This article

Congratulations. You look as if you have won a prize as the shortest article with the greatest number of weasel words.

Silverlight 2 beta 2 - Go Live if you dare

Tires?

In the headline is it tires as in exhausted or tires as in American?

Deutsche Post issues Rudolf Hess stamp

@Pat Dougan

See Braveheart.

Cry Freedom.

You get to keep Pa' Broon.

What a bloody good idea

I'm off to buy a stack of Alex Salmond stamps right now.

Boeing raygunship fires first blasts in ground testing

Collateral Damage?

Should the text read.....

"People in the vicinity of an ATL strike might not realise what had happened until well after " .........they have been fried ??

DNS gaffe leaves spy agency totally under cover

Confidence and World Security.

The sirens sound, world leaders open their black bags, take out the carefully coded and guarded papers, insert the keys, and press buttons to launch. Their screens read "Not ready reading Drive C: Abort/Retry/Ignore?"

Fear not, Government agencies are run by the same people who make decisions about emptying dustbins fortnightly.

Freesat launches in UK

Buy Freesat?

Well worth changing over from Freeview to Freesat......not!

Al-Jazeera instead of Sky News....what a bargain.

Only possible advantage is being able to see Scottish football instead of wall to wall English crap.

We must be due for another repeat of the 1966 match, surely? It has not been on for at least 5 minutes.

MS misses restart button on desktop auto-updates

Dear Editor,

Can we have a competition, please, to explore the full range of topics which correspondents can manage to twist round to a discussion about Linux?

Sky One to resurrect Blake's 7?

Blake's 7 - desparation surely

Now we know that there are too many channels with too many hours to be filled.

How about a "Potter's Wheel" Channel?

UK net registry battles coup d'etat

Don't be confused

Simple maths, simple business

Total Revenue less Total Expenditure = Profit.

So by definition Nominet is a Profit making Entity.

Of course they want to hide that fact and all their froth is merely to decide how best to do that.

Sticking with simple maths, simple business.......align the revenue with the expenditure.

What's so complicated about that?

As for the accumulated profits, use them over a defined period of time to reduce charges.

It is not the cost of a domain that drives the quality of service.

That is a function of the quality of staff, for whom the cost is already fully covered within the expenditure.

Windows Vista update 'kills' USB devices

I feel so alone - I like Vista.

Well I did till the updates came along.

Running Remote Assistance through Windows Live Messenger out of Vista to XP machines was running fine, day in, day out. Along come major updates. Bang. Invitations to provide assistance are accepted, then we wait...............and wait..............No sign anywhere of settings changed at either end.

XP to XP works fine still, so the finger of suspicion points firmly at Vista.

Anybody suggest next step??

BBC vs ISPs: Bandwidth row escalates as Tiscali wades in

BBC v Tiscali, get tickets now.

Perhaps if it had been a sensible, caring, user-friendly, supportive, efficient ISP the reactions might have been different. But Tiscali........!!!!!!!!!!!

FIPR: ICO gives BT 'green light for law breaking' with Phorm

ICO, short for incompetent?

From personal experience I've found those in the ICO to be an idle lot who will do anything which involves producing reams of pre-formatted paragraphs, but nothing which involves doing any actual effort or work.

The only surprise is that they managed to get out any comment before Christmas. Must be a record.

Darling budget fails to paint Brown government green

Scots Wha Hae

In this case they hae sent me to sleep.

Thanks for the summary as I would not have not happened while he droned on.

What a BOF.

Broadband big boys waiting on data pimping

Information Commissioner

Anonymous Coward waiting for a response may well see Christmas first. That office is miles behind after being inundated by complaints from the world and his brother. After the first acknowledgment, any review will simply give the best reason they can think of for taking no further interest. Based on experience.

No good phoning till after the acknowledgment arrives with their all-important reference reaches you either. Their "smart" system can recognise only documentation that has been typed. Anything hand-written is in boxes which they cannot afford staff time to search through.

I've obtained written confirmation from my ISP that they will not indulge in these games. Not sure how reliable it is, but at least they know where I stand.

Tiscali boss faces board showdown as sell-off rumours swirl

Tiscali

As an ex-customer of a decent ISP taken over by Tiscali, I'm with Frankie Howard......Up Pompeii!!!!!

Minister defends National ID Register security

BBC1, Sundays, 9pm

"The Last Enemy"

Good propaganda for ID cards etc.........NOT.

Virgin exhibits coconut-powered flying jumbo

Watch for Top of the Pops this weekend.

Special edition featuring Richard Branson and Michael Winner with that old favourite "Coconut Airways"

Tiscali and BPI go to war over 'three strikes' payments

Legal Query

Is it still safe for me to record Vera Lynn off the wireless?

NASA to beam Beatles song into deep space

Don't worry - it's not for entertainment

This is simply NASA's equivalent of the Mosquito, intended to get rid of the little green men rather than teenagers.

Hope it works as effectively.

Nominet to hand out £5m to online charity cases

"Not for Profit" Profits

Calling extra money from trading activities a "surplus" is avoiding reality. In plain language Nominet have made a profit contrary to their remit. Rather than mess around with words and ploys to dispose of those profits, why don't they simply reduce the level of their fees? Too simple for a Quango type organisation?

Fasthosts primes another password reset

Pure coincidence

The day after I told "Support" that I was likely to cancel my account two emails arrive confirming that payments have been taken from my card account.

I am so relieved that their accounting system still runs smoothly.

The timing of the charge is, of course, entirely coincidental.

Fast Hosts

Circular logic? After reporting that their "new" password would not work I'm told to log into support. What do I need to get into Support??

Phoned and was number 47 in a queue at what was supposedly the least busy period and this at 0870 rates. Now told it must be my fault for mistyping while attempting to log in.

Oh yeah??

Ordnance Survey rescues rural towns from juggernauts

Ordnance Survey

Would not like to lie in the road too long while an ambulance took the "approved" route.

Via Michelin X970T satnav

X970T

I bought one. Ended up phoning France just to register. Not long ago it told me to "Turn Sharp Right immediately" - great....I was in a tunnel under the Clyde at the time.

Much better in France where it took me several thousand miles without a hitch.