* Posts by Nick

4 publicly visible posts • joined 4 Dec 2007

US surgeon snaps patient's tattooed todger


Reminds me of a friend from college...

This chap invites me over just before Christmas break to play in the hot tub with several lovely young lasses. Several of them were paying...um... "particular" attention to him. He got out of the tub to head back to the apartment to take care of business. And there, for all the world to see, was a full tat'd todger. A dragon to be specific.... coiled around with the head... well.. use your imagination. I am not given to examining other mens toolkits, but I was impressed.

This was 23 years ago, before body art became prevelant, and I only learned much later that it would have had to have been erect to have the work done. After learning that, I was even more impressed.

Wigan man traps todger in metal ring

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Ah... brings back memories...

I was a locksmith for 13 years prior to my move into I.T. One night the phone rang at home and it was one of the local hospitals. They asked me to come to the E.R.... "We have a lock we need opened." Thinking they had a locked cabinet or some piece of machinery, I hopped in the vehicle and sped off to the hospital.

They led me back through the E.R. to a curtained off bed. There was a rather sheeepish looking man laying there, with his waist covered in a sheet, but otherwise, completely sans clothing. The nurse pulled back the sheet, and there was his manhood, shackled with a #3 Master padlock. He and his girlfriend had been playing that morning, and prior to leaving on a business trip, she "locked him up".

We had 4 options:

1) manually pick the lock (veto'd by me.... not willing to hold another man's privates for however long that took

2) use and electic lockpick (again, veto'd by me.... an electric lockpick is essentially a vibrator, didn't even want to consider the consequences)

3) boltcutters (veto'd by the patient)

4) de-laminating the lock (grinding the rivets off and pulling the bottom plates free in order to remove the lock cylinder)

Option 4 was the choice of all involved, and after evacuating the man to another room, I was left alone with the chap, and a male nurse. He had his little fellow free in about 3 minutes. The attending physician stopped me on the way out of the E.R. and asked me to write a bill straight to the hospital. To this day, I still have a copy of it:

Qty 1. Description of service: Delaminate Master #3 padlock to unlock from patient HH087332's penis. Cost: $100.00

Counterfeit Vista rate half that of XP


To the Vista apologists.....

I have beta tested ~EVERY~ Windows operating system from `95 on (except Mistake Edition). I was the first person to turn in a bug report that bad things happen to the OS when you drag the "My Computer" icon into the recycle bin.

Every OS has been an upgrade... a move forward. It might be incremental. (`95 OSR2 to `98) or huge (`98 to 2000), but they were movements forward in terms of reliability, usability or scalability. XP brought us a more (arguably) user friendly face to 2000 and a kernel that was optimized for multimedia. Vista however, brings none of these things. It isn't more reliable than XP, it CERTAINLY isn't more usable than XP. Scalability increase for Vista? Not there.

Using an INCREASE in these metrics as the definition of an UPgrade, then Vista fails... miserably. Notice I haven't mentioned a word about performance. Performance is subjective... my high end gaming machine at home gets 10% better performance with XP than Vista Ultimate. Your milage may vary.

DirectX10 is CERTAINLY an improvement toward photorealistic games. Look at Crysis running in DirectX10 vs DirectX9. And game development will be more streamlined under DirectX10. But, Microsoft already has DirectX10 developed for XP... but the shelved it as a tactic for forcing people to upgrade.

Don't get me wrong.... I am a Microsoft proponent. I make my living from certifications I have in their products, but Vista sucks. Badly. If you doubt what I am saying, download and read the EULA from Vista versus the EULA from XP. Actually -read- them. You will be shocked. Then you will be angry. Microsoft, I must admit, well and truly missed the boat with this OS.


Wonder how much XP Piracy has gone up since Vista?

Since Microsoft is trying very hard to kill off XP, legit copies of XP are very hard to come by. I can't tell you how many of my friends have bought new computers in the last 10 months that ship with Vista pre-installed, only to find out it sucks and start looking for "extra legal" copies of XP, since legal copies have evaporated from store shelves.

I have a prediction to make. (takes cover) I think XP will sit side by side with Vista for several more years. Microsoft is going to be forced to support and upgrade it. There are already very high level discussions about rolling out the DirectX10 upgrade to XP (that was originally promised), as there is already external development going on in that field. Microsoft simly can't afford to let someone else to bring something like that to the market. Furthermore, all the eyecandy in Vista is available through products like Windowblinds and others.

Personally, the most onerous thing to me is the DRM. I'll be damned if I want every video I watch, every song I listen to to be reported back on. What I listen to is my business.... don't like it, get a search warrant. Microsoft is yet to be challenged on the fact that no agreement to a EULA can abdicate a constitutional right. I also don't like "renting" a piece of software. Don't know what I'm talking about? Go read the Vista EULA.

Ok, I'll step off my soap box now and get my coat....