* Posts by Archie Woodnuts

107 posts • joined 30 Nov 2007


Nearly three-quarters of convicted TV Licence non-payers are women

Archie Woodnuts

Re: How can they make a profit from it?

The fact you have to state you don't have a TV at all is something of an imposition, let alone fill out a load of shite so that you can repeat the process every two years.

Ex-IBMer sues Google for $10bn – after his web ad for 'divine honey cancer cure' was pulled

Archie Woodnuts

Re: They walk amongst us

Ah right, it's anecdotal bullshit. Now I understand.

Archie Woodnuts

Re: They walk amongst us

"As a, internationally famous statistician remarked to me once, the worst thing you can do for your health is follow a doctor's advice."

Does that bullshit work on a broken arm?

Paxo trashes privacy, social media and fake news at Infosec 2017

Archie Woodnuts

"Personally I am prejudiced on this question on security and privacy, what is it you are all doing that you are so concerned about?"

Minding my own business?

Adpocalypse 'will wipe out display ad growth' by 2020

Archie Woodnuts


How about Optimal pay me to view their ads? That's a business model I can really get behind.

FBI director claims that videoing police is causing crime uptick

Archie Woodnuts

Re: Nothing to hide : Nothing to fear

As a fictional character in a fantasy universe once said, "THAT IS NOT MY COW."

Also, you missed the point entirely.

French duck-crushing device sells for €40k

Archie Woodnuts

Re: Absolutely horrendous...

Meh, it's no Ortolan.


Wi-Fi network named 'mobile detonation device' grounds plane

Archie Woodnuts

Re: Lots of lateness

Because of course someone meaning harm would call the network "mobile detonation device" and not "Happy heaven finder".

Are you perhaps unfamiliar with the term hiding in plane sight?

NB. Yes, that's deliberate.

Switch survives three hours of beer spray, fails after twelve

Archie Woodnuts

Re: Football is football

Protip: Association Football has historically been shortened to either Football or Soccer. The term Soccer actually originated in England in the 1880s Both are valid,

Colander-wearing Irishman denied driver's licence in Pastafarian slapdown

Archie Woodnuts


"If people want to take FSM as a serious religion then that's fine by me, but they should be serious in doing so."

Pastafarians reject dogma and formalism thus, by not being serious, they're actually being more devout. Gets you coming and going, just like a real religion.

Ten years in the clink, file-sharing monsters! (If UK govt gets its way)

Archie Woodnuts

Re: You COULD NOT...

It's a good thing the law is never used to make knee-jerk reactionary statements of intent.

Oh, hang on.

Blighty ranks 38th in World Press Freedom Index

Archie Woodnuts

Re: Moderator comment

Nice to see an example of what's brought us as low as 38th place in action. Very apt.

Flying Spaghetti Monster is not God, rules mortal judge

Archie Woodnuts


> Implying any religion is anything other than works of fiction or satire.

That naked picture on my PC? Not mine. The IT guy put it there

Archie Woodnuts

Re: What ?

My friend, that isn't the half of it. I have users that use My Videos.

Adobe preps emergency Flash patch for bug hackers are exploiting

Archie Woodnuts

Dear Flash

Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die.



'Panama papers' came from email server hack at Mossack Fonseca

Archie Woodnuts

Not to mention that it likely isn't all coming from the same server or data centre. If you're pulling that down from two locations, you've already halved the time it takes.

Woman scales Ben Nevis wielding selfie stick instead of ice axe

Archie Woodnuts

Re: Fucking moron

"That would be bloody stupid, wouldn't it?"

Well, yes, it would be stupid. You're still conflating spontaneity - that is to say, acting upon sudden impulses or taking unplanned action - with considered decision making as to whether it is sensible to do a thing, or if you are even capable of it so...

Archie Woodnuts

Re: Fucking moron

"There's nothing wrong with spontaneity."

Just with understanding what the word means, I guess?

Archie Woodnuts

Re: Fucking moron

"There is a distinct difference between spur of the moment and Darwin award."

Indeed, however that difference is often chance.

Adblock wins in court again – this time against German newspaper

Archie Woodnuts

"Yeah, rebuild in order I reckon."

That or some pearls to clutch.

Archie Woodnuts

Adblocking is morally wrong.

No-script, RequestPolicy, etc however are just fine. ^_^

Archie Woodnuts

"It nowadays bogs down the system more than all possible ads put together can do."

It really doesn't.

Here's a great idea: Let's make a gun that looks like a mobile phone

Archie Woodnuts

Re: Grow Up and Grow a Pair

>"Grow Up and Grow a Pair"

>posts anonymously


Archie Woodnuts

Re: need to?

"How does being prepared make you less of a man, exactly?"

It doesn't, the Scouts are a fine institution with a ferocious history of complicated knot tying. I'm not sure what that has to do with the subject at hand though.

Archie Woodnuts

Re: "Absolutely no one can make sense of the United States' infatuation with firearms."

How very paranoid. That said, yeah, a well armed populace is going to last five minutes against the combined military might of the US Government. Muh freedoms and muh bear arms aren't much use against long range missiles, drone strikes, or aircraft carriers when it comes down to it.

Also, given the popularity of Donald Drumpf, I'd say a big chunk of the US public is pretty ok with would-be totalitarians 'cos dey're gunna make 'murrica great again. :\

'No regrets' says chap who felled JavaScript's Jenga tower – as devs ask: Have we forgotten how to code?

Archie Woodnuts

Re: Azer's childish decision

Pretty much this ^

US govt says it has cracked killer's iPhone, legs it from Apple fight

Archie Woodnuts

It's almost as though

They knew they could do this anyway but thought it might be nice to try and expand their reach even further with some legal jiggery-pokery.

UN rapporteur: 'Bad example' UK should bin the Snoopers' Charter

Archie Woodnuts

And now

for the Government's response.

But, but TERRORISTS! Won't somebody think of the children? Nothing to hide, nothing to fear. Make Britain safer. CRIME. Your best interests at heart. Oh look, a minor scandal that distracts you from this.

*passes legislation*

The utter bastards.

Brits still not happy about commercial companies using their healthcare data

Archie Woodnuts

How about

we talk about how much these third parties will be paying me for my data, irrespective of who it's held by?

Nothing you say?

Well then I guess they can't have any access to it at all.

Outsourced Virgin Media techies botched this infosec bod's Poodle fix

Archie Woodnuts

Re: Ah, VM's tech support

Well, it isn't too many letters is it? Plus, if Auntie Beeb's down then it's probably the end of the world and network issues will be the least of my worries.

Archie Woodnuts

Ah, VM's tech support

From many moons ago.

Hello, I don't have an internet connection, it would appear my router/modem/thing is receiving a nack response when it tries to obtain an address.

"Can you reboot your router for me?"

Sure, but I've already done that.

"Can you do it again?"

*pretend to reboot router*

"Yes, I can see it rebooting now."


"Ok, I've done some tests and that should be working now."

*constant ping to bbc.co.uk continues to fail*

It isn't.

"Ok, I've just made some changes, can you reboot your router for me?"

We've just done that, it didn't work, it's being denied an IP at your end.

"Can you restart your computer for me?"

Done. (not done)

"That was fast."

It has an SSD in it. It's lighting.

"Is it working now?"


*stars move across the heavens, continents rise from the sea and are submerged again, the sun grows cold and dies as I repeat this for just shy of eternity until I'm put through to a 2nd line engineer*

"Huh, looks like your router's being denied an address *clickity clack* should be fine now."

Indeed it is, thanks.

Essex cop abused police IT systems to snoop on his in-laws

Archie Woodnuts

"It is right that we take robust action on these cases to protect public confidence in policing and the integrity and professionalism of the overwhelming majority of Essex’s police officers,”


Facebook paid £4k in tax. HMRC then paid Facebook £27k – for ads

Archie Woodnuts

The British government has said it may reopen its tax settlement with Google if it appears that HMRC has "settled for less corporation tax than other countries are willing to accept.".

If, IF? Are they having a giggle?

Ad-blockers are a Mafia-style 'protection racket' – UK's Minister of Fun

Archie Woodnuts


I guess some of the honourable members and their chums are losing out financially then? Diddums.

More and more Brits are using ad-blockers, says survey

Archie Woodnuts


or as I tend to think of it, corporate begging, is not my cup of tea. It's even less so when it gets right in my face, occasionally crashes the browser - good work, The Independent - obscures, moves, bifurcates, or otherwise unacceptably fondles the content I've come to see.

I'm sure there are many fine an cogent arguments in favour of advertising and in principle, I'm not against small text ads here and there - I even pay for some content - but on the whole I don't like wading through a sea of piss just to view a web page and so I don't.

Official: Turing's Bombe better than a Concorde plane

Archie Woodnuts

Re: Great stuff.

Upvoted just because some kn*b downvoted your largely accurate comment - I personally like the English Electric Ligtning more, but that's just me.

ICO fined cold-call firm £350k – so directors put it into liquidation

Archie Woodnuts

Re: What's wrong with

I'm pretty certain a damaged reputation has an effect whether you're face to face or not.

Archie Woodnuts

What's wrong with

naming them, publishing their pictures, and making sure everyone knows who is responsible?

That ought to take the shine off their business a little.

Google human-like robot brushes off beating by puny human – this is how Skynet starts

Archie Woodnuts

I can't help but think

That antagonising our machine overlords in their early, formative days, is what will lead them to crush humanity beneath their merciful robotic boots.

Yelp minimum wage row shines spotlight on … broke, fired employee

Archie Woodnuts

Re: No one forced her to take the job

No one forced you to miss the point either yet, here we are.

ADpocalypse NOW: Three raises the stakes

Archie Woodnuts

IP blocks take whole seconds to bypass, if that. What would be the point?

That aside, no one's forcing content providers to do anything and they could, you know, not. The problem is that I suspect most content providers are aware that not many would care if they did stop and would simply go elsewhere or not bother at all.

Patch ASAP: Tons of Linux apps can be hijacked by evil DNS servers, man-in-the-middle miscreants

Archie Woodnuts

Re: I'll bet...

Obvious troll is obvious but I've resolved to post as even though my point and click equipment isn't in mint condition, I still enjoy making glibcomments.

Coding is more important than Shakespeare, says VC living in self-contained universe

Archie Woodnuts


That is the question.

With apologies for shoddy code.

When asked 'What's a .CNT file?' there's a polite way to answer

Archie Woodnuts

What do they do when anything breaks?

Typically, in my experience at least, people seem replace the pragmatism or will to investigate and resolve a problem themselves with a sense of entitlement and demands that someone else should do it immediately, it's an outrage etc, etc. That or, as you've observed, they replace it.

It makes me sad.

Archie Woodnuts

Re: Computer User Not Technical

I always enjoyed PEBKAC.

Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair.

Don't touch that PDF or webpage until your Windows PC is patched

Archie Woodnuts

hurf durf

I use a different os than the os you use because I am a brain wizard and as any fule no, it isn't possible for different people to use different os' for different things in different environments or on different machines. There is only one way to computer and I have found it. A point I shall make repeatedly, for ever, until my genius is acknowledged. durf durf durf.

Flash flushed as Google orders almost all ads to adopt HTML5

Archie Woodnuts

Re: The root of the problem?

If only these developers were as sagacious as you, eh?

What's it like to work for a genius and Olympic archer who's mates with Richard Branson?

Archie Woodnuts

Idiot, of course it doesn't. I got mine free in a box of Weetos just like everyone else.

Leak – UN says Assange detention 'unlawful'

Archie Woodnuts

Is that the same Saudi Arabia that the UK helped put in the position of chair via a bit of argy-bargy behind closed doors? That the one?

Uni of Manchester IT director resigns after chopping 68 people

Archie Woodnuts

Believe it or not but our IT department consisted of two sys admins, six helpdesk chaps and four managers of various flavours as a result of business mergers. We could have done without the managers, mine in particular, though I do now have a lifetime's worth of work anecdotes.

Curiously enough the company did go bust shortly after most of us escaped, something we found hilarious. The VLAN argument was in regard to QOS on VOIP services because "we'll be fine without VLANs" didn't seem a sustainable policy to me.

There was the day he wanted to move servers at one site to another site (and subnet), just because, and asked if we'd need to change the IP addresses on them or if they'd just work.

Or the day we had a flood of spam that was traced back to one of the directors complaining that an email had been blocked and our glorious leader turning off most of the filters instead of just releasing it.

I could go on :(

The truly distressing thing was the fact that the directors seemed to think the sun shone from The Ass despite his obvious lack of, well, everything. Boggles the mind really.



Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2020