Posts by Richard Morris

How to help a user who can't find the Start button or the keyboard?

Re: The strangest call I ever had

I'm fairly sure I worked on the same helpdesk as lorisarvendu, had a beard and was asked if the call was for me!

I also took a call from a customer who was demanding an engineer with a new fax machine, as the one he bought last week had started putting a red line down the side of the page.

We also had a phone call complaining that all the text on his new computer was upside down. He was asked to turn it off. He asked which button it was, we replied "Bottom Left". He said it can't be, all of the buttons are at the top right.

UK govt sneaks citizen database aka 'request filters' into proposed internet super-spy law

1984

Unfortunately, it was meant to be a warning rather than an instruction manual.

Bracken assembles old GDS crew for Co-op

CoOp Energy

He might as well start there. They still haven't been able to generate me a bill since their less than successful move to a new system.

It will however take more work than sticking lipstick on a pig.

Feds want a phone smart enough to burn itself if it falls into the wrong hands

Fantastic

Now, rather than having my phone wiped by my 3 year old entering numbers at random into the lock screen, the phone can sence he has picked it up and can preemptively wipe its self so that he doesn't have to.

The last post: Building your own mail server, part 1

Mysql & amavisd-new

Hello,

I'd probably also throw mysql into your recipe, and configure postfix to use it for tables and lists.

To simplify in postfix (and also generally complicate) spam and virus checking I'd also add amavisd-new too.

Goodbye Vulcan: Blighty's nuclear bomber retires for the last time

Vulcan Delivery

Here is the story of the delivery of the Vulcan to Newark - http://www.airsceneuk.org.uk/oldstuff/2005/newarkvulc/newark.htm

World of the strange: There will be NINE KINDS of Windows 10

Re: "and they're losing faith.'

"Linux even has Firefox and VLC installed by default"

If you find that you have a GUI, browser and media player installed by default, you are using the wrong distribution entirely.

Uber and Lyft sitting in a tree, 'c-a-n-c-e-l-l-i-n-g each other's rides'

Re: approaching IPO-level revenue

What the fuck are they doing?

Air Hockey

Health pros: Alcohol is EVIL – raise its price, ban its ads

Why penalise sensible drinkers?

We don't drink much, and as you say, we usually spend more that 50p a unit anyway. But there is also a certain amount of fun in making drinks like sloe gin, and for that all you really need is a handful of sloes, a bit of sugar and a £10 bottle of gin.

Why would you want to make it £5 more expensive to make a bottle of sloe gin for Christmas?

Euro watchdog bares teeth at Microsoft over browser gaffe

Browser Choice

Personally I'm sick to death of seeing the browser choice being forced onto PC's.

I'm all for choice and cracking down on anti-competitive behaviour, but can't those in Europe come up with a better way other than forcing on users something that they don't necessarily want?

Hell I can turn a new PC on, install Chrome, set it as a default browser and then the browser choice window is still forced down to the PC. Fuckwits.

HTC's 4G patent beef could get iPhone 5 BANNED in US

Re: IT Pros?

You must meet a different bunch of IT Pros to me.

Usually we wear, carry or use whatever freebies we get given.

Broadband minister's fibre cabinet gripe snub sparks revolt

RE: STUFF THE NIMBY's!

I think you forgot to put the DACS on their line too!

O2 looses legal torpedo at Everything Everywhere 4G monopoly

Deregulate frequencies

Why doesn't OFCOM let all mobile companies use there bandwith for whatever service they want to, be it TACS/ETACS/2G/3G/3.5G/4G.

Then limit the length of all mobile phone contracts to a maximum of 1 month, for those who want handsets with contracts, the carriers can still provide them with some from of credit agreement.

This way it will promote competition with carriers having to offer the best service at the best price to retain customers.

Google silences podcast app Listen, disbands Team tool

Re: shame..

I'll second that, can anyone recommend a replacement?

Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Bauernfrühstück v bacon sarnie

Perfect Buttie

White bread, no butter, smoked dry cured bacon (both back and streaky) and ketchup.

Reg hack attempts gutsiest expenses claim EVER

Re: Well done Lester...

.. and almost certainly just resubmitted it, listed under the heading research!

Sony SmartWatch Android remote

USB Charging

Watches should be Swiss and mechanical.

Now, where is the icon for Luddite?

Galaxy S III pay-monthly tariffs compared

Re: Outright

Phone - £499.99 (Play.com)

My current 30day sim only contract with t-mobile (350 Mins, 300 Texts, Unlimited Internet) £13.22 + Vat

Total - £690.36 for 12 Months

Yes, Prime Minister to return after 24 years

I'll add a vote for Spitting Image, and hope for a return of Drop the Dead Donkey too.

London 2012 Olympics: 17000 athletes, 11000 computers

Me thinks he might be more used to working on Gvmt IT contracts!

'NATO RESTRICTED': The lowest possible classification

European defence initiatives?

Would they be surrender and collaborate?

Elton John rouses Atlantis crew - with Rocket Man

The Firm?

They should have played the 1987 classic from The Firm, 'Star Trekkin'.

ESA unveils billion pixel camera that will map the Milky Way

Wikipedia Says

Sun and Earth: 1,500,000 km (930,000 mi) from the Earth

Earth and Moon: 61,500 km (38,200 mi) from the Moon

Rackspace backtracks over toff-proof sign-up process

VodaFone

I tried to buy a phone from Vodafone and their website refused to believe that an email address ending .eu was a valid one.

I emailed their customer services and their advise was register for a hotmail account!

H2O water-powered shower radio

No DAB

(Possibly) Obsolete after 2015.

IE9: Downloads beat Angry Birds, lag Firefox and Opera

A squillion downloads is all very good...............

but how many camels humps will they fill?

UK start-up pitches touch-to-sync tech for watches

Nope

Watches should be Swiss and mechanical.

Join in the Wikileaks DDoS war from your iPhone or iPad

DDoS.......

There's an app for that!

MS freebie anti-virus scanner auto-downloads provoke more anger

McAffee

Perhapse they don't recognise McAffee as anti-virus software.

Google Android chief smacks Steve Jobs with Linux speak

Alternatively

Install Microsoft Security Essentials for free (http://www.microsoft.com/security_essentials/) and then blow the rest of the cash on beer.

Germans develop sleepy-driver car 'warning' system

My car already has a device to wake me if I nod off

It's called an airbag...

Facebook introduces one-time passwords

Mobile One Time Passwords

Surely the better way would be to introduce Mobile One Time Passwords - http://motp.sourceforge.net/.

Do the Webminimum

CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT

I thought that cruel and unusual punishment was reserved for Team Foundation Server.

Reg hack celebrates happy event

Aladdin?

Just because you work for a technology website, there was no need to name your donkey after a chipset.

UK.gov abandons 2012 rural broadband pledge

What's wrong with dialup or ISDN?

Whilst life is getting more difficult without good internet access, streaming media is still a luxury rather than essential to life as we know it.

Wouldn’t a thin client at home connected by dialup or isdn accessing a desktop in a datacentre provide suitable access to the internet for other purposes?

Flying car gets helpful road-kit weight exemption from feds

I suspect that........

............ if you have to ask, you can't afford it.

The Reg guide to Linux, part 1: Picking a distro

Nearly right...

Q. Will you be running Linux on a server?

A. If so, use Hardened Gentoo

Q. Will you be running Linux on a desktop?

A. If so, use Gentoo

Q. Will you be running Linux on your desktop?

A. if so, use Gentoo with ACCEPT_KEYWORDS ="~$ARCH"

World+bitch flocking to expose self on Facebook

Nope.

Whilst it still may be a typo, it isn't a mathmatical one.

Last time I checked, 15 million was less than a third of 600 million (by quite a large margin).

MPs bash broadband tax

Why 2mbps?

I still don't understand why people need a 2mbps internet connection to be included in society.

Surely all that is required is a reasonable POTS or ISDN connection to a remote desktop hosted elsewhere.

Muswell Hillbillies force BT to move broadband boxes

Why not taunt them?

Rather than a 28.8K modem, how about giving them a V.90 modem, just to give them a little hope... and then put a DACS on the line.........

Kind soul donates Claymore mine to charity

@SuperTim

SuperTim - In answer to your question, Claymore's have been about since the late 1950's.

An 18 year old Marine could have used them in 1965 and now be old enough to work in a charity shop.............. To them, it might quite literally be a blast from the past.

BOFH: Stick this

Carrots?

I know where to buy sticks..

..... but where do I get carrots from?

Two UK web hosts go down

Virgin Media...

From Virgin Media's status page

Ticket

Ticket Number 604389

Time Stamp 29/11/2007 19:45

Priority P1

Status Opened

Department Outage Surveillence Team

Estimated Time Fix 29/11/07 22:44

Customers Affected Broadband Internet

Raised By Stephen Lipinski

Detailed Description

Some customers nationally may currently be experiencing difficulties accessing certain websites that terminate in Germany.

Popular websites include:

www.oneandone.co.uk

www.1and1.co.uk

www.space4k.com

www.eyevillas.com

Online games affected may include are:

OGAMES

World of Warcraft

Guild Wars

1-2-1

City of Heroes

City of Villains

Our support groups are now investigating this issue.

Virgin Media apologise for any inconvenience caused.

- Virgin Media Technical Support

----------------------------------------

It explains why I cant get to my webspace from my Virgin Media Broadband, but can via 3g on my mobile.