Posts by Mr P Hilton

Mobe, mobe, mobe. There - we've said it

All hail King Lester...............

Today is a glorious day for now I no longer feel like a social pariah for downloading mashups using my lappy and transferring onto my mobe.

Now I can shout "Mobe" (or mobi; or even moby if you like) from the rooftops safe in the knowledge that El Reg will back me up.

And when I stand in court accused of bastardising the English language I know I shall emerge victorious when Mr Haines gives his expert testament in my defence.

Oh happy days.

BTW there's absolutely no truth in the rumour whatsoever that Prez Musharaf has thrown Lester in jail and declared emergency rule at The Reg because of his inane dislike of the word mobi..............

Air France compensates 170kg passenger

A mile................

"So unless you have walked a mile in that person's shoes, shut it."

How big are these shoes exactly?

I'll bet............

......that if Mr Lardy-Arse was going to be sitting next to Paris he wouldn't object to paying the extra money.

Sorry. Thought Paris needed another mention since she doesn't get the exposure on this site that she deserves.

COAT / HAT / DOOR/ *SLAM*

Facebook and ABC News get political

Americans..............

It's kinda sad that the Yanks have to resort to this kind of crap to generate interest in politics.

I can see it now.....

"Hey Chuck, what's happening in the election race these days?"

"I don't know Cletus, why don't we check out Facebook and find out?"

"OK Chuck, but couldn't we just watch the news? It'd be much easier"

"Yeah we could Cletus but we can't leave an electronic footprint that way, so how's the NSA supposed to log our political affiliations and keep us under surveillance?"

"Good point Chuck. I'll fire up the lappy"

Does anyone in American even care who gets elected anymore? I mean, they vote for who they want and the courts will get the other guy in anyway won't they?

Microsoft on the hunt for 'serious' Windows flaw

Are we surprised?

I would have thought the biggest flaw with Windows was that it comes in a box with "Microsoft" on the front...............

Panto star sacked for foul-mouthed outburst

Bah Humbug!

Who gives a sh!t if some half-ar$sed nobody who can't get a decent job anymore gets sacked from a panto anyway? In fact who gives a to$$ about panto? I went to a panto once when I was 6. Scarred me for life. Men dressed as women? Girls pretending to be boys? Christopher Biggins? Kids could be scarred for life watching that. They should just sit at home and play Manhunt instead. Far safer............

PS Bet you'd never see Paris with her puss in boots...............

Star Trek boldly goes on demand

Intergalactic (TM)

Sorry - you can't use the word "Intergalactic". The Beastie Boys invented that word and nobody else can use it. At least if you subscribe to the RHCP and Californication school of thinking...........