Posts by Mr B

Polluters to start paying, tardily

I paid so I can pollute

What a stupid scheme, wouldn't it be better to try to no pollute that much in the first place.

I'm sure that even at the corporate level there is the equivalent of not letting the water running whilst brushing.

The money raised will be waisted by some idiots in brussels trying to figure out how to assess the assessment method of assessing the level of damage that the said pollutant is causing.

That being said the exact nature of the pollutant cannot be disclosed because of industrial patent ...

Looks like ethanol to me more problems created than solved.

Fuckers in Brussels use your brain not your vote.

Former staff swipe confidential company data

OOOH Knowledge is Power.

and the fact they are bringing home a piece of information should be worrying because they never had access to that information before ??? And they never had a chance to take a full copy of their HDD before being fired.

Well ... looks like Cimentech is playing the scaremonger to sell some MIB like Memory-erasing devices.

Spooks and techies to be vetted for their online networks

Facebook friends vs. USB pen drives.

What is worse? Having dodgy "friends" on social networks or actually losing notebooks and usb memory stick with the NHS, Passport, Child ... database on them?

Scotland Today in news nipslip outrage

Light through a button hole

... the title is saucy ... but really light ... in Scotland this time of year ... no way, definitely a case of misplaced 3rd nipple.

If you want clearly identifiable nipples on a Telly broadcast, watch Underbelly, it's all about bonking system and bone-uses too.

The holy coat for me. Ta.

Samsung Emporio Armani Night Effect designer phone

Wow

that is one tacky phone.

Glows in the dark to make the dimwit full of cash ... and bad taste more visible.

Laptop facial recognition defeated by Photoshop

Crap software

relegated to faeces recognition.

At last a good story to crack some bum jokes.

But on the up (sorry the bottom) side, this still may prove useful to people that did NOT sit on the copy machine during office party last Christmas.

Mine's the Andrex padded one.

MS puts up $250K bounty for Conficker author

$250 k

to capture Bill Gate ... because he let it happen.

Ballmer is taking the P. BG is worth a little bit more.

@Rob Crawford: I'm here but I shut up, because it good monies for me even if I have to put with the RDC pooh to access M$ crap. I'm drinking heaven smoothies at the moment so no inclination to rant ;o)

Dell gets the finger from Pivot3

Oh the irony

If you count 3 starting from your thumb or pinky, you land on the middle finger ... then pivot upwards to give the screwing motion gesture ... you get "Pivot3 to all o' ya" especially you Dell HP IBM ...

At $3000+ a server to stream video to disk that is a rip-off especially when the acquisition card probably does all the work.

Microsoft kills off public availability of Windows 7 beta

Can't they just

kill Win 7 all together alpha beta gamma RC1 and Retail Crap 2

Mine's the one with the 7 layers of firewalls. Don't flame me M$ buoys.

Windows Vista stuck on single digit enterprise adoption

Command line.

Will M$ support the drag & drop into a shell window ???

If they still think not supporting this is a "feature" they won't get any business from developers.

Exploding mobile phone kills Chinese man

Lithium

or Semtex batteries ???

That'll make hijackers happy.

Mine's the one with the made in china tag.

Call centre manager in the frame over ID scam

Lucky he was a smokey-dopey.

That would have been different he he'd thought of selling details rather than using them. Less gain but distributed fraudulent claim and lot less direct exposure.

Crime apprentice you shall delegate.

US credit card payment house breached by sniffing malware

Top notch sniffer

or just average dumb executive watching pr0n on work laptop.

I'd like to know passed the PR BS.

Microsoft halts construction plans, won't renew leases

@Colin Millar

Ekzellent!!!

Wish I could rate a comment.

EU says Microsoft violated law with IE on Windows

Yeah well

I don't like M$ but I have to use it because customers use it ... but I do not use IE as a browser.

Next will be the time for M$ to remove their file explorer from the OS because some third party will whine ...

I think M$ should strip off File Explorer from their OS because frankly I cant tell the difference between IE and Explorer.

IT salary survey says: ‘You’ve never had it so bad’

@Jesus Puncher

Could not agree more ... but unfortunately I rely on those Queen Burggy waiters for my daily meal. I'm called in to sort out the mess once it's way too late ... but it's much more $ rewarding even during these hard times, plus they are all ears, not in denial anymore and ready to act.

Once upon a time if you paid peanuts you had monkeys. And then monkeys wanted caviar and sports cars ... and now we are back. Good for some of us.

Danish SWAT team surrounds PlayStation shoot-'em-up

Too bad they did not get blasted

at least it would have prompted to some village idiots the use of headsets rather than pestering the whole neighborhood with inane TV volume.

Good enough though, now residents have a way to make stop noisy neighbors.

Mine's the one with the "reactionary" tag name and the muffled turtle neck.

MobileMe wreaks wipey revenge on freetards

Conclusion

Don't let anybody manage your data. And if you do, don't trust them and keep a copy ... ooops, silly me, I am being told that the data backups/syncs were done thru MobileMe.

Microsoft eyes metered-PC boondoggle

When the need is browsing, a low level ..

... of performance may be used

GASP ... Vista hogs 1.1 Gb of RAM just to boot on a fresh re-install. Looks to me "low level of perf" will always be there even when charged for top notch speed.

I've got a Desktop with a 5.6 mark on the Saffir-Vista-Simpson scale and it slugs. This all sounds too familiar you'll end up paying $1.25 to use notepad, and they'll introduce the recommended $2.14 rate.

Getting animated about a 6,000 core Soho supercomputer

Hi Tech - Low Storyline

If the storyline is not that good that may be because they concentrated on techy issues rather than on the business.

So many KWatts, so many cores to only have rodent fur & human hair look like a rigid carapace: no undulation no fluffy effect ... disappointing !!!

I wonder what 278 qualified cartoonists can achieve in the same time?

Fast and 'free' beats steady and paid on MySQL

Binary compatibility ???

If there is one thing Sun is good at, it is binary compatibility, apps developed on Sun OS 5.7 are still running on the Open version of Sun Solaris 11 you can still link libraries coz compilers are compatible with previous versions ... if they want to achieve that kind of stability with MySQL, it may take some time and some free community tantrums.

Java is a heap of pooh by design but crappy Java apps using deprecated APIs are still ok to run on the latest JVM.

The only use of ubuntu I'm having is the live CD image so to manage GUI & MRB disks and partitions. ubuntu = toolbox not OS.

Walmart's Jesus Phone no better, no worse

Viva next iPhone generation

iPhone 4 Gits

Free of Charge.

Mine is the leopard skin.

MySQL creator kicks MySQL 5.1 team in the teeth

Down to monies

Sun makes money from support ... so export more of this.

Texas cop tasers himself

A demo with a loaded gun.

I really think this guy should be discharged.

As for the Tasered guy.

Mine's the solar powered one.

Eclipse kills open-source SOA projects

YESSSSSSSSSS

Next Eclipse commits Seppuku!!!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS again ... and I won't need to see a psychotherapist for all the damage done to my nerves.

French Senate passes bill to disconnect filesharers

@Trois strikes

Encryption might get the ISP confused. But if the Copyright holder is setting a honey pot by "sharing" all of its Music & more and then logs the connecting IPs ... encryption won't be of any help. The Record Co can then contact the ISP and kaboom ... but maybe the RIRs databases are out of date and the logs kept by the ISP are complete rubbish which could explain the cockup when striking the unproper stalker.

You may then change your IP every 10 minutes but still the MAC address is part of the header and can pinpoint the p2p'er's computer. Not that useful unless you connect to a MIAA member's website so they can set some cookies to "know you better" and that gets even worse if you register with them using your real name and address.

What worries me is the law seems awfully quiet on MAC address status is it a private thing or is there a MAC DataBase somewhere available to any MIAA, RIAA & the likes of them?

So to pee or not 2 pee that is the question but if so: encrypt, change your IP every 10 minutes (most ISPs use a dynamic IP alloc), use I2P, TOR & more and spoof your MAC addresses on your computer and router ... and don't do anything meaningful other than generating noise IP traffic on your connection while doing it ... you might be snooped on.

Deleted cloud in second fall from sky

Cloudy Foggy Murky

Hmm what are the odds of going through the worst case scenario two times in two months?

A full restart, hundreds of servers, one sever at a time. They are kidding right?

Palin demands $15m to search her own emails

Corrupt

yeah they all are, big deal.

At least I expect them to be smart. Frankly gov.palin@yahoo. com to conduct official business on the QT ... God she's daft.

California train smash driver sent text seconds before disaster

Br(e)aking news

Train Announcement:

Please turn off all of your electronic gear and mobile phones must be switched off at all time since they may jam the signalling equipment.

Londoners you've been warned.

/mine's the one with elbow (brake) pads.

HBOS could shift 2,000 IT jobs to India

People with an account at HBoS'

please carry your business directly with any Indian bank. That'll teach them, stingy t0553rs !!!

They want to cut costs, I'll save them the cost of keeping me monies.

Secret Windows 7 screens leaked?

Butt ugly or dazzly shiny ultra top fancy

does not matter ... I never got to the point where I could enjoy the Vista look nor the XP teletubbies.

So will it work at reasonable speed without a pair of 5 GHz dual socket octo-core CPU & triple PCI-e x16 GPU board?

Will they have a version that fits on the fashionable eeePC and the likes?

Win 7 will be Windows Astala.

/ mine's the one with penguins up the sleeves.

Mythbusters busted over RFID gagging

Mythbusters reporting on Mythbusters' Spiked Segments

bleep

/mine's the ------- one.

Date bug kills VMware systems

Virtualisation the answer to everything

except maybe the single point of failure ... and unknown hardware contention but we'll see that one later.

I still can't believe production systems are running using this thing.

One extra layer of crap that is very handy during functional/business testing ... but heavy load, stress & volume, network & disks. I'll be watching from the sideline.

Storage virtualisation ... when you are used to precisely locate data on your spindle to max the perf, Trix let us know when it goes tits up, so you don't feel alone when the "I told you so" moment comes.

Killer Satnavs amok in 'Utah Polyhedron' phenomenon

Excellent

That's the spirit,

Go through the back roads on a empty tank & stare at the GPS rather than looking through the windshield.

Compass & PAPER road maps plus a little bit of preparation always a good idea.

Technology does not cater for the lack of wit ... they should be charged for endangering their children's life. Idiots.

Sun tosses most US customers to the resellers

Sell business units

But why customers ???

Given Sun's share prices I was betting on it selling its Java operations. Throw away the Glassfish and the Fishbowlwater.

But in the UK I got all of Sun's gear thru partners ... never directly with the power that be.

Cancer doctor cites 'early' data on cell phone danger

Cell phones are perfectly safe.

The amount of money invested in mobile technologies is a blinding clue.

So many $bn, so many Telcos can't be wrong.

As long as the financial benefits outweigh the health potential problems, there are no problems.

OK there is one tiny problem if you've got in your blood stream some un-popped corn particles.

Free for all on London Underground

Transys ... that explains.

"... incorrect data tables being sent out by our contractor, Transys."

Transys = EDS + CTS

With EDS' major cockups and Cubic Transportation Systems worldwide failing ticketing systems that explains.

The update to patch recently cracked Oyster more and more likely to cause some more free travel ... and lack of revenue ... and future fare hikes.

Oyster's £ 1.2 bn initial cost was some well spent money.

Divorce for shouty YouTube wife

She should be grateful

the judge granted her the 750 k$, I thought the failure to consummate your marriage is grounds for annulment.

Lucky her, she'll have numerous occasions to catchup for all the sexless years, she might have to go thru that process to find a new home.

Botox is not only damaging your face it's harmful to your brain ... and makes your hubby claim he's got high blood pressure.

Dutch university can publish controversial Oyster research

Hihaa Free ride

on the tube.

Last Saturday cockup tells there is no need to hack the Oyster ... TfL will fry them for you.

/mine's the aluminium lined one

HP shatters excessive packaging world record

Mailee's fault

HP got fed up with this particular customer complaining about not receiving/misplacing parcels.

BTW what was on those 2 A4 ? EULA stating that the opening of the box means acceptation of the supra EULA?

Oyster system failure causes travel misery

Toasted Oysters

for 10p ...

1 - MiFare card gets cracked

2 - Crack is applied to Oyster

3 - TfL releases a statement that all is tikka dee boo, nothing to worry, the system is far more resilient and should pickup the home made cards,

4 - TfL decides it'd be better to change the crypto-keys on the card coz the Dutch unlawful usage cannot be pinpointed and the above is just PR

5 - TfL sends the order (to the gates) to change the keys

6 - Oysters are toasted

7 - Smell of toasted oysters fills the tube's corridors

8 - TfL tells the gates to stop frying bivalves & let bipeds thru.

9 - TfL rolls back the system

10 - TfL rolls out a bunch of fresh mussel-replacements.

-> Dutch geeks can carry on using their forged card ... please send the toasted cards to

Prof.dr. B.P.F. Jacobs

Radboud University Nijmegen

Heyendaalseweg 135

6525 AJ Nijmegen

The Netherlands

so he can help TfL investigating what went wrong.

What worries me a bit is we know the MiFare is compromised, it takes 12 secs to get the keys to read & write the card ... even if TfL were successful in applying a patch/adding some data/changing the keys it would take 12 other seconds to see what changed. Can even set up a website to publish the latest free-ride Oyster "firmware" update.

Judge grants Viacom 12TB of YouTube user records

Lack of revenue due to piracy.

Fair enough, so Viacom should have a look at all the clips posted on YouTube.com, list the ones that deprive them from their lawful rights to get money and make a note of the "views" number.

And then get a court order for YouTube to pay them their money. Up to YouTube to do things against the IP bearers to compensate for their loss.

I shall then copyright my IP address (I should be able to register a company name 92.68.O.O and protect the name) so Google, YouTube & Viacom won't be able to distribute it without my written consent and paying a fee.

As for the format I guess to ensure the authenticity there is nothing more authentic than a big stack of letterhead paper with every single sheet rubber stamped and manually signed and paraph'd by Judge L.L. Stanton himself ... that'll teach him.

Threat remains despite Safari carpet bombing fix

Wonder Steve

Is not finished obliterating the M$ PCs, he's back, after carpet bombing it's time for Fox fire hunting.

/hunting horn please.

Rare Mac Trojan exploits Apple vuln

El-Reg = Scaremonger.

So the stuff you need to download and wilfully execute may exploit a vulnerability to gain root access.

Privilege Escalation != Trojan ... it's a start but a wee bit of work is still needed.

Leeds thieves target Ford Focus chips

Tough times

for low grade carstealers, hard to find a plausible excuse for stealing a focus rather than a Porsche.

Do they recover the stereo-sectomy-ed stolen cars?

/the one with the cracked KeeLoq chain.

Sun shrinks Constellation for HPC run

HPC

massive amounts of gears to run a couples of tests to get FLOPS mark.

Sorry but companies buying Sun gear are the likes of the Vauxhall buyers, because they don't need a top end car to go to work and work.

Oracle hikes middleware license fees

Competitors = lack of revenue.

Buy the competitors, raise the support costs and let the product die. After a certain amount of time the acquired product has reached down to the crap level of the inhouse one ... push the inhouse one down customers' throats at a bargain to replace the xeno-prod. ... then raise the licensing costs of the inhouse.

Start a surveillance, and as soon as a potential competitors shows up, buy it and destroy it before the price tag is too high.

Oracle is doing us a favour by raising fees when money is scarce.

France gets closer to 'three strikes' downloader web ban

Itemised invoice anyone ???

When reading this:

"AFP Jan. 21, 2008

BRUSSELS, Belgium - IP addresses, a string of numbers that identifies a computer, should generally be regarded as personal information, the head of the European Union's group of data privacy regulators said Monday."

One would think "good" they can't collect information that easily.

Unfortunately there are a couple of courts' rulings stating the IP number is a non personal/private thing. The CNIL (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CNIL) is challenging the rulings before the Court of Cassation.

This law will be unenforceable as the obvious thing is: Community law supersedes national law, so I can go up to European Court to get things settled so that, in France too, the IP is a personal piece of info, which will then make me entitled to ask my ISP (thru the CNIL) to send me a copy of all the tiny bits it's been collecting ...

Which then means I'll be entitled to request :

- An itemised invoice for all the IPs that have been leased to me as well as all the IPs I connected to, with time stamp, duration ... etc...etc... and I want a dully rubber stamped paper copy sent via registered/recorded mail as it's the norm in France.

I don't see that happening it would be un-ecofriendly to use that much paper. And MPs must be very wary that some thorough employees at ISPs may be sniffing MPs' children's IP packets for pirated contents.

AMD mugs Intel in backstreets of Paris

AMD nicks Zilog ???

Back to the good ol' 80's when CPU FPU GPU APU were all buried in the same resin drop, OK forget about FPU & APU. Can't wait for the day the inside of a laptop will look like the inside of a pocket calculator ... and laptops will be able to run for months on a couple or AA size batteries.

Mr AMD, if I may, the CPU load of a laptop aboard a flight is brought by Solitaire only, so embed an ASIC that takes over and shuts down Windoze when Solitaire is launched ... should extend the ultimate gamer's experience by a nice 2 AA factor.

/ZX-81 enclosure for me.

'Untraceable' phone fraudsters eye your credit card

Henry Paulson wants his money back

and he raised an army of spoofers to get it.

If you don't spend your stimulus rebate ... someone will try to spend it for you.

<SARCASM>It's good for the economy.</>