* Posts by David Adams

125 posts • joined 21 Nov 2007

Kate Winslet sports top celeb bod

David Adams
Coat

Yeah but...

... Megan Fox is a man!

It says so on the Weekly World News site so it must be true.

Multiple travel firms refuse ID cards as passport alternative

David Adams
Coat

Oop North but...

... they are from Lancashire so that explains it really..

Body armour and tin hat please.

Angels can't fly: Official

David Adams
Coat

Complete rubbish

Everyone knows that Angels and Fairies are Ethereal and as such aren't subject to the normal rules of the mortal plane such as gravity and force.

Ferry giant refuses ID card

David Adams
FAIL

Epic

Fail

Billie Piper hooks up with Belle de Jour

David Adams
Thumb Up

Re: Great, that's just what we need

At least they'll be earning an honest living and not all trying to be bloody "WAGs"!!

David Adams
Coffee/keyboard

Re. Missing ITV Plot

ROFL etc,

seriously, that is your comment of the week Ms Bee.

File-sharing Bill could give Government control of the internet

David Adams
Big Brother

"Law inadvertently gives keys to Mandy"

There is nothing inadvertent about it.

I can hear him saying:

"And I'd have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for those snooping kids!!"

Soot warming 'maybe bigger than greenhouse gases' - NASA

David Adams
Boffin

Errm...

Seem to remember a Horizon program about global dimming from a couple of years back.

Research found that particulate soot in the atmosphere attracted moisture to it and formed larger water droplets than occurred naturally.

These larger water droplets caused more high level cloud cover which reflected the suns rays and meant less solar radiation reached the ground.

There research further found that this global dimming was mitigating the effects of Global warming which climate models had shown should have been worse than we were actually seeing.

Top cop's 'stop stopping snappers' memo: Too little too late?

David Adams
Unhappy

reply

"I think the relationship between the public and the police is almost as bad as it was during the miners' strikes."

I assume you're from up north?

A lot of people on here won't realise that the relationship between the public and the police was strained during the strikes.

The Brave police were just doing their best to stop the Militant Miners and that communist Arthur Scargill from bringing the country to it's knees after all. </sarcasm>

Besides, most of the southern coppers were up here cracking skulls.

3 billion have suffered Slade's 'Merry Xmas Everybody'

David Adams
Badgers

Have you heard...

...The Christmas single by Bob Dylan??

As mad as a bag of Badgers!!

But up beat and catchy.

Pig plague alert: Our safe sex guide

David Adams
Coffee/keyboard

Pure Class as ever.

Although I'll never be able to watch "Calamity Jane" in the same light after that first pic!!

Darling promises IT cuts, years of pain

David Adams
Headmaster

Re: Bonuses - Devils advocate/pedant etc

"bonus are given as a reward for good performance. Not so in the banking fraternity it seems"

They have been performing well, the FTSE is up 30% from the bottom of the market and they have been making massive profits this year.

By your definition, they are entitled to the huge bonuses.

What your point should be, is that they weren't penalised sufficiently when the Banking system tanked last year.

David Adams
FAIL

It's all smoke and mirrors...

The real pain will hit after the election.

Whoever wins will have to raise taxes, no matter what they say in their manifesto.

Last patch train of the decade rolls in from Redmond

David Adams
Thumb Up

Re: Pedantry corner

"We could in fact compile a list of the most pedantic posts of the last decade in the year 2012."

I think Ivor has just won that one!

New DNA rules may still breach human rights

David Adams
Coat

Well if you've nothing to hide, then you've nothing to fear have you?

Sorry, It's the medication....

The white coat with the long strappy arms please.

Pig plague alert: Avoid missionary position

David Adams
Thumb Up

Playmobil

We need a Playmobil guide to keeping safe during the crisis!!

MS Jingle Bell bus rattles past Reg Towers

David Adams
Coat

Apparently

I can win an "Intimate Gig" with the Sugababes!!!

http://www.winwithwindows7.com/my_gig.html

Giggedy, Giggedy Goo!

Now where's the cold shower icon?

I'll get me dirty mac.

Manchester journo gets first ID card - late

David Adams
FAIL

Questions

We should be able to work out quite a few answers to likely questions for her.

For example:

Favourite subject at school:

One of the first results on Google is an article about her on the Manchester High School for Girls website saying how she always wanted to be a journalist and wrote for the school annual as well as having articles published in Just Seventeen and Mizz magazines.

She did english language and literature at uni followed by a post graduate diploma in Journalism.

I'd guess at English, but that's just a guess.

David Adams
Big Brother

Please oh please oh please....

Let someone manage to clone her identity!!!

Navy's £1bn+ destroyers set to remain unarmed for years

David Adams
FAIL

Useless

So let me get this straight.

We have 1 working Nuclear Sub that doesn't actually carry any Nukes, Destroyers that can't shoot at anyone, we have no planes for the new carriers and the planes that the RAF are getting, aren't up to the job required?

"So, what do we have on the ship that's good?"

LHC smashes Tevatron record: Humanity enters the unknown

David Adams
Badgers

Yeah, But

It'd be cool though!!

David Adams
Paris Hilton

In the Words of Paris Hilton...

... "Don't be afraid to turn it up"

'Whales can't even hear naval sonar' says Navy boffin

David Adams
FAIL

Errm..

You don't have to be able to hear a sound for it to have a physiological effect on you.

Probably worse for the Whales as the water carries sound better than air.

Microsoft enlists faceless girl band as face of Windows 7

David Adams
Heart

Watch it!

If you're going to start insulting Heidi, then you and me are going to fall out!!

No idea who the other two are these days so feel free to have a go at them.

Gov advisers slate Home Office over innocents' DNA retention

David Adams
Big Brother

In Other News...

...Bears defecate in the woods and the Pope wears a daft hat....

Did they seriously not see this coming?

If the Police suspect someone of something but don't have anything concrete to go on, they will arrest them for some minor or trumped up offence and see if they score a winning line on the DNA lotto.

Dirty, dirty PCs: The X-rated picture guide

David Adams
Flame

Mice

We've had the same problem with mice in printers, on customer sites.

Their main problem is that as they are permanently incontinent, they pee on the power supply and electrocute themselves!!

Large Hadron Collider scuttled by birdy baguette-bomber

David Adams
Badgers

Pions

As Weebl would say:

Mmm Pie!

Microsoft counters Windows 7 upgrade hack advice

David Adams
Coat

Re. Not this Again.

"I've had my PC for 15 years, but upgraded everything (several times) over the years, including the case. You could argue it's a different PC, I'd argue it was only every upgraded and it's the same PC."

Aha, the old "Trigger's Brush" defence eh?

Yahoo! nukes GeoCities

David Adams
Pint

@ MATT89

Amen Brother.

'More than ever before' now studying Sci/Tech in Blighty

David Adams
Badgers

Should I be worried about our future?

"Journalism and Media Studies, while not yet attracting five-figure student bodies, surged worryingly - up by 15.7 and eight per cent to 2,675 and 5,141 respectively.

That's an awful lot of young lives thrown away."

Well McDonalds needs to get their staff from somewhere.

Almighty rumpus in Swedish lesbian enclave

David Adams
Coffee/keyboard

ROFL

SuperLOLs etc

Yank slams El Reg 'zio-fruitcake' Playmobil 'crap'

David Adams
Coat

I think it's a bit like this one

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A830341

Prof: Global windfarm could power entire human race

David Adams
Go

Already been done

There was a story on here a while ago about a professor who was working out how much of each type of renewable energy we could actually use to generate our energy needs.

http://www.withouthotair.com/

Makes good reading.

Transformers helmsman demolishes English language

David Adams
Pint

Yeah, but

More Megan Fox.

That is all.

Man queues overnight to buy iPhone 3GS... and take it to bits

David Adams
Boffin

But....

... will it blend?

We need to know!

Junior astronomer spots junior supernova

David Adams
Happy

Re: how do you report these things?

It's easy,

Have you never seen Deep Impact?

Moderatrix quits El Reg: Latest

David Adams
Coat

Don't know about...

... a Spa voucher but I've got a Spar voucher for 50p off windolene if you're interested?

Playboy TV offers 'Jacq off' special package

David Adams
Coat

But seriously...

... where do I send the money to.

I'm happy to pay for this poor man's Pr0n.

As Wacky Jacqui is so puritanical they obviously won't have sex, ever, so there is no-one in this country who can demonstrate a greater need for some quality "Me Time".

Budvar beats Anheuser-Busch in latest Budweiser battle

David Adams
Coat

Who cares?

It all tastes like pi$$ anyway.

Home Office plans to force CCTV on shops and pubs

David Adams
Coat

I forsee a change

Instead of spotty teenagers hanging round the off licence asking me to buy them beer,

I'll be sending them in to get some for me!!

Father of ID cards moots compulsory passports instead

David Adams
Black Helicopters

It's not the Card I object to....

It's the bloody Database that is the problem.

They just put Pyjamas on the horse and they are trying to persuade us it's a Zebra!!!

Where is the 1984 or V for Vendetta icon?

Fancy nipping for a quick two-thirds of a pint?

David Adams
Boffin

1/3rd of a pint

1/3rd of a pint has always been a legal measure.

It's called a Gill (Pronounced Jill), and before we went metric, spirits were licenced to be sold in measures of 1/6th of a Gill or any multiple thereof.

Lots of pubs sell specialist beer (read extra strong) in 1/3rd pint measures.

If we already have 1/3rd why not 2/3rds.

Reg readers rage at comment icon outrage

David Adams
Thumb Up

Definately need.....

...a CCTV Camera icon for the latest government clampdown,

a "Won't somebody think of the Children?!" icon,

and I think we need a big steaming turd icon for the "Unholy Turdspurt" that occasionally gets posted.

Oh, and how about a lightswitch icon for the "Will the last person to leave the UK please turn out the lights" stories.

Should do.

Hadron boffins: Our meddling will not destroy universe

David Adams
Coat

So, what is it?

KRYTEN: I've never seen one before -- no one has -- but I'm guessing it's

a white hole.

RIMMER: A _white_ hole?

KRYTEN: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. A black hole

sucks time and matter out of the universe: a white hole returns it.

LISTER: So, that thing's spewing time back into the universe? (He dons

his fur-lined hat.)

KRYTEN: Precisely. That's why we're experiencing these curious time

phenomena on board.

CAT: So, what is it?

KRYTEN: I've never seen one before -- no one has -- but I'm guessing it's

a white hole.

RIMMER: A _white_ hole?

..............................

etc, etc

Anatomy of a malware scam

David Adams
Stop

Evolving?

Had another 2 instances to clear this week, 1 again had the RootKit and it was much harder to shift this time.

Malware Bytes (http://www.malwarebytes.org/mbam.php) and FixIEDef (http://www.malwareteks.com/FixIEDef.php) shifted the XP AntiVirus infection.

Malware Bytes couldn't update until we had run through 1 scan and rebooted, it then updated, we ran a second scan and it shifted the rest.

FixIEDef sorted IE out.

Ran GMER (http://www.gmer.net/files.php) to check for Rootkits as we've had one as part of XP AntiVirus before and again found one this time.

Machine had loads of Hijacked Services which GMER and HIJACKTHIS (http://www.majorgeeks.com/download3155.html) shifted.

Every instance I've seen is slightly different to the previous one, this truly is a Tw@t to shift!

David Adams
Thumb Up

Nice work

I have also seen this infection running alongside a Mass Mailer.

Malware Bytes got rid of Xp Anti-Virus and detected the mass mailer but couldn't do anything with it.

Did a delete file on reboot with HijackThis and it got rid of it.

The program is very convincing and less IT aware people can fall for it very easily.

Great article.

Daily Mail loses employee info

David Adams
Coat

RE Technical Problem

"How the hell does a technical problem result in a laptop being knicked?"

Probably as Technical as The network was down so they had all gone to the Pub.

The one with the Laptop sized Poachers pockets please.

Flying cars on the horizon, says Clive Sinclair

David Adams
Black Helicopters

RE: Flying C5 - potential problem

With the speed of the C5, Bird strikes won't be a problem, you'll have plenty of time to get out of their way.

Pigeons laughing at you might be embarrassing though.

Duff UK nukes risk 'popcorn' multi-blast accident apocalypse

David Adams
Coat

So it's a long shot then.....

..... But as anyone who reads Terry Pratchett will know, a Million to 1 chance will come off 99 times out of a hundred!

We're doomed!

The lead lined one with the tinfoil hat please.

Croydon devil dog execution: Exclusive photo

David Adams
Happy

Class

That is all.

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